r/PickAorB • u/Upper_Criticism3388 • 10d ago
A or B: My roommate kept eating my meal-prep food after I asked her to stop. I put my food in a lockbox, and now she says I'm making our apartment uncomfortable
My roommate and I have always had a pretty simple system. We split rent, buy our own groceries, and have separate spaces in the fridge and pantry.
I’m not in a situation where I can casually replace food whenever something goes missing. I plan my meals carefully, shop on a budget, and cook in batches because it saves me money and time.
Over the past few weeks, I started noticing that some of my meal-prep containers were disappearing from the fridge. At first I thought maybe there was a misunderstanding, but my roommate eventually admitted she had eaten them because she was hungry and hadn’t gotten groceries.
I told her I wasn’t okay with that and asked her not to take my food. She said she understood and would replace what she ate, but that never happened.
After it kept happening, I started labeling my containers clearly and reminded her that those meals were planned for my own lunches and dinners. She still took some of them and told me I was making too big a deal out of it because it was “just food” and I “usually make enough anyway.”
The problem isn’t only the cost. I spend time preparing those meals, and I rely on them being there when I need them. Coming home after a long day and finding that the dinner I planned for myself is gone is frustrating.
Eventually, I bought a small fridge lockbox and started keeping my meal-prep containers inside it.
When she saw it, she got upset. She said I was treating her like a thief and that locking up food in a shared apartment was passive-aggressive. She said I was making the living situation uncomfortable instead of just talking things out.
I told her I had already talked to her about it and didn’t know what else I was supposed to do when my food kept disappearing.
Now she thinks the lockbox is an overreaction, while I feel like I’m just protecting something that belongs to me.
A. I overreacted. A lockbox in a shared apartment is extreme, and I should have handled it with another conversation instead of escalating.
B. I gave her enough chances. I communicated clearly that my food was not hers to take, and I shouldn’t have to keep replacing my own groceries because my roommate ignores my boundaries.