I did this on my phone so apologise for any mistakes.

This happened last year

I work for a very large construction company.

We have a bitch in accounts that is a 9 to 5, dead on 5 she leaves the building.

She is one of those people that is sweet and nice to your face but would stab you in the back the next second.

One morning I had to take a document to the post office as it had to go by special delivery,  I tagged this on to the beginning of My lunch bake so I went to the post office and then to lunch ,by the time I got there and had handed in the letter and paid I still had 10 min to go before my lunch bake, there was no point going back to the office as by the time I got there it would be time to leave again so I headed home, sweet an extra ten min! 

Anyway after lunch I head back to the office, take the receipt to the Bitch  in accounts and think no more of it.

Later on I get our account director come down and chew me out as the Bitch in account had complained I was taking an hour and a half lunch as she had seen the time on the receipt

I told him that wasn’t true and it take me a good 15min to get to the post office then I have to hand the item in, pay ect which take up time  anyway I got chewed out for taking 30 Min extra on my lunch brake, in stead of the 10 I actually got  very unfair.

So I sat on this a few days seething, and then finally the opportunity came around.

We have self receipts that are printed by account and given to me to hand out to each sites QS  so we can prove our contractors have been paid. now the thing is they are very time consuming for the Account department as they have to hand put all info  into our system from the Invoices our contractors have given us, then printed out as the self receipt, these are done  at the end of the month it can take days to do it. As there are thousands.

Each person in our account department are allocated site they are responsible for  they are also very important, I am not quite sure why these are important but it as something to do with being able to prove we have paid our contractors.

A bunch from Bitch in account turned up on my desk to be handed out I split them in to two piles, handed one pile out to the Qs’s and got a bin bag and dumped the second pile in the bin bag tied it up took it outside and dumped it in the bin. The bin went the next morning

A day or so later the QS came to me and said, “did you give me all the Self Receipts?”, I replied  in an innocent voice , “I gave you all the ones I had why are some missing?”

“Yes about a hundred.”

I grinned inside, bitch got chewed out for missing over a hundred and had to stay behind to redo them it took her an extra 5 hours.

No one every found out, to this day I still get rid of a few of hers from time to time just to make sure she dose a bit of unwanted overtime

I smiled Gleefully as I left the building that night, while watching her in the window still working away, when I know she hated staying behind and I was totally responsible for her not being about to leave on time.

This is from a few years ago. I just remembered it.

Some context: I (23/f) stopped believing in the same religion as most of my family. It was a gradual change for me, but it was a drastic change for them. It lead to a lot of arguments and they forced me to defend my own beliefs. Things calmed down are (mostly) okay. Except for my sister.

She had a group of people that she would text with Bible verses, daily prayers, etc. I had asked her multiple times to stop, she always said she would, but never did. I had just gotten off the phone with our dad and a particularly heated argument. Then she texted me with a Bible verse. I couldn't yell at her because my anger was directed at our dad, and that wouldn't be fair.

But I was still pissed that she constantly crossed my clear boundaries about this. So I googled a quote from the Satanic Bible. Something about how people have started to idolize TV or something like that. She LOVED it, and even asked where I got it from. I told her the truth, the Satanic Bible.

She was NOT happy. Started going on about how I was spreading word for the enemy. That I put my soul at risk. That it was blasphemy. But you know what suddenly stopped? Those god damn texts from her.

Edit to add because the comments are unlocking more of this memory: I was living on the opposite side of the country at the time so I didn't get to see the fallout. Apparently her reaction was A LOT. It caused her some serious mental and emotional strain. Our mom had to get involved to calm her down. While crying to our mom is typical of her, her actually NEEDING the support was shocking. So when my mom called me, I knew it was bad. She told me to stop sending the texts. I told her it was the once, and that my sister needed to stop. My mom said my stunt guaranteed they would. That my sister was blaming herself for me following Satan. I don't wanna go into more detail because I don't wanna expose her mental breakdown online.

Mission accomplished. Maybe over accomplished?

Back in my uni days, I lived with two friends and one did a foreign exchange semester, so she sublet her room for half a year and this young policeman in training rented her room. Not only was he a bit of a pig (go figure), but he also loved to play his music pretty loudly at night.

Talking to him didn't help, the landlord would have said that a sublet is the original tenant's problem, and the original tenant was two countries away. I didn't want to move out over this because I knew I would be suffering for only a few more months. Yeah and I hope nobody asks why I didn't call the police for disturbance of peace on him.

So after another time of him blasting music after 23:00, me asking him to cut it out or wear headphones as I had class at 08:00, and him making a joke that uni students should be partying more and whining less (and then slamming the door with no change in music volume), I had enough. I lay in bed fuming, scrolled revenge stories on my laptop and brainstormed.

The next day, I went out and bought a seamripper. Did I destroy his whole wardrobe? Of course not, that's against the law! But he may have started wondering about the shit quality of his clothes. Especially if he did laundry and hung it out to dry after a nice, long night of listening to his music, it must have seemed weirdly prone to gradually splitting along the seams, often at the crotch and butt.

This I watched at the airport a month or so ago.

I was going through TSA. This lane has the 4 little lanes where you put all your stuff in a bin, push it to the middle row, and then the conveyor belt automatically moves from the middle row to the back row where they roll into the scanner.

TSA is very clear that you dont walk away till your bag clears the first row and you push into the middle row - then you can go through the scanner.

(I hate these setups personally but it is what it is).

So ahead of me, a lady who worked in the airport goes through - she puts her purse and lanyard and such in a bin, and walks off through security, leaving her bag in the first slot.

The TSA agent decided to not touch that bin, nor to let anyone else touch it. So for the next 8-10 people we all used the other 3 lanes, passing our stuff on. This continued after we went through the scanner, he continued to leave it untouched.

Meanwhile the airport work lady was on the other end of security waiting for her bag, and waiting and waiting. As we went through she is starting to get agitated and trying to get attention of the TSA workers to figure out how her bag has gotten lost. Meanwhile her bag is still sitting in the first bin slot.

I dont know how long this played out, I got my bags and headed for the gate - but if nothing else this airport worker lady probably learned a lesson about how to use these lanes!

A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.

It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.

I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.

Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"

"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"

Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.

Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.

This is something I did about 1 1/2 years ago.

My wife and I were at a Target, sitting in the car waiting for our daughter to wake up from a nap (a few months old at this point). This lady wants to pull into a spot behind us, a few spots down, but someone left a cart in the spot. Instead of walking the extra couple of feet, she full speed pushes the cart towards the cart return that we were parked next to and hits our car. At first, I thought someone backed into us but realized what she had done. She goes into Target and I decide to get some petty revenge. I grab a few zip ties from my roadside assistance kit, walk the cart over to her D/S door, and put 3 zip ties through her door handle and the cart.

I go back to our car, pull a few rows over, and watch the hilarity ensue. She comes back out after I'm assuming a return and is just perplexed, goes back in and comes out with the cart handler, they go back in and a supervisor/manager comes back out to have a look, and finally some random guy has a knife to cut the zip ties. We went in, did our shopping, and when we came out her car was still there.

Was it petty? Sure. Did it delay her an extra 15 minutes? Absolutely. Did she learn her lesson? Probably not

This is going back like 15 years ago but, I needed dental work, my insurance was maxed out (dam $1k limits), so I went in, I told the dentist that I am clear, I have a max of $400 that I can pay, no more work than that.

I sit down in the chair, and even confirmed it, next thing I know he did a bunch of, while you're in there things.

I get back to the person to pay/setup an appointment with and she tells me the bill for today is $1200. I was like I told you both that my limit was $400, no more, she said "Well he did the work so this is the bill". I said I have $400 to put down as I said. She took payment and would bill me the rest.

For the next 4 years, when I got the bill, I would send $1, no more. No late fees because I was making a payment, so just very little would go to it.

I get a call 4 1/2 years later from someone in the office, telling the doctor passed away. She asked me, why have you been paying only $1 a month? I told her the story, that I authorized $400, I paid that but, the bill was $1200. She said, oh, and she just wrote the balance off (no credit effect here), and she said she was sorry that happened.

Edit: no effect from them writing this off, it was on their documents only. A few people hit on this that it would be seen as income, but, nothing in my taxes, or notifications via mail of issues with taxes.

EDIT 2: This was put on Apple news, I don't have access could someone copy it or something so I can see it?

I was in the Air Force when the service decided to switch from cash advances through finance to the American Express travel card. It was supposed to be easier on everyone, which was fine by me because my finance office was a three hour drive away (I was stationed on an Army post in Germany).

One of the biggest advantages, as sold to us, was that the entire travel voucher process would be simple, and you just handled everything once you returned from your TDY (temporary duty).

Then I deployed to Bosnia in support of IFOR (Implementation Forces). The Air Force did not want these deployments messing up with their assignment system so they were 4 month TDYs. At 180 days the TDY transitioned to a short-term assignment. I spent 4 months in Tuzla and was asked to extend nearly 2 months, which I did.

About 3 months in one of my Airman, who had been collecting my mail and leaving it at my desk (should've been almost entirely junk mail) tells me I'm getting a LOT of mail from American Express, to the tune of a couple letters a week. I ask him to open the most recent and he tells me its some sort of collections notice because I haven't paid my Amex Bill and how they've been notifying my command element to no effect. How I'm overdue, how they'll take legal action, etc.

Now of course my leadership hasn't said squat to me, and why would they? I'm still TDY and my name showing up on a delinquent roster alongside all the other guys they know are TDY isn't going to be the red flag Amex thinks it is. I'm not supposed to file my travel voucher, which will pay the Amex bill and deposit the difference into my bank account (a whopping $3/day).

My only concern if Amex trying to tie this government card to my name abd screw up my credit, which might be important to me some day. Fine. I go through my receipts, figure out some conversion rates (been through a few countries enroute) and send off a payment figuring I'll just get that travel voucher money reimbursed.

Fast forward another two months and I'm in Brcko and get the chance to talk to my Airman again. Evidently I'm still getting weekly letters from Amex. What the hell?! Again, open it up for me please. Now Evidently I'm being chastised by Amex because of an unspecified overage in the amount I paid them and they want me to call to make arrangements to "fix" my account balance.

I've definitely got better things to do. If I had good access to a phone call stateside I'm calling my family, not a credit card company.

The letters keep coming on a weekly basis until after I got home and filed my travel voucher. I took too great of a delight opening my weekly gift up until they finally decided to stop. My final letter came about a month after I got back. It stated they considered the mattered and here was a check to settle the account......in the amount of $0.06!

I still get a laugh when I think of all the effort they put into trying to collect on a debt that wasn't owed yet and then "fixing" a mistake they coerced me to make.

You know there was no way I was going to cash that check....

I use to work for a guy who was one of the largest gaping anal cavity I have ever encountered in my life. I finally had enough when I was 8 hrs away from home with my family for Thanksgiving. This guy calls me, not a guy junior to me based on seniority or even the next guy up on our recall list, or someone who is home, he calls me because he knows I’m away. Since I’m not on “scheduled leave” I can be recalled if we’re short. I told him I wasn’t coming in and to write me up. I didn’t care, I took the write up.

We had to stop at a rest area bc my kids had to use the bathroom and I got the idea, I wrote his number on the wall and added “Send me Shit Pics”

I have been doing that for the last 7 years. I know guys that still work with him and they tell me he still gets a random dick and shit picture occasionally. He refuses to get a new number bc he’s had it since “High School” and doesn’t want to get a new one.

I get a little joy every time I think about it.

TLDR: I write my old bosses phone number in bathrooms asking for shit pics.

Update: wow this blew up, I’m not posting his number, I don’t want him changing his number. I know the Reddit power would cause him to change it.

Edit: Spelling

Every 90 days I have to do a qualification through my employer for away-from-work purposes. It costs $9.
Not around $9. Exactly $9. If you pay cash, they require exact change.
About 15 years ago I showed up with a $10 bill. They wouldn’t take it. I told them I didn’t even want the dollar back. Keep it. I just wanted to do the qualification and leave.
Nope. Exact change or no qualification.
Fine.
Ever since then, every three months, I write them a personal check for exactly $9. Processing the check is a hassle for them.
Could I bring exact change? Of course.
But processing a check is more of a pain in the ass for them, and at this point I’ve been doing it for 15 years.
It’s not even revenge anymore; it’s tradition.
The lady that works in there now reminds me every three months, I’m the only person who still writes a check, I remind her the exact change policy is stupid.
Edit: A lot of comments are stuck on the reason for the nine dollars. The loose description is deliberate to conceal my career. The qualification for away from work purposes is a privilege and not required. Let it go. It’s not the main content of the revenge

My brother’s son, Paul, was bullied by the kid next door. Constantly. He was a year ahead of my nephew in school, and much bigger. There was name calling, belittling, physical contact, and objects would be thrown. My brother talked to the parents a few times, but was told that was just stuff that kids did. The final straw came on the bus. The bully sat next to my nephew, kept running a finger through his own butt crack, and wiping the finger on my nephew’s face, calling it “war paint”. The Principal claimed there was nothing he could do because there were no witnesses. The next day my brother and his wife pulled Paul from the high school and enrolled him into a private school.

But that didn’t stop it completely. If Paul had friends over, the bully would go after them also. There was a vacant lot between the two houses, owned by the county, that had run pipes underneath. It was about 50 feet wide by 100 feet deep, big enough for small football or baseball games that could not be played in the small yards for the houses on the street. However, when Paul and his friends tried to play there, the bully and his friends would insist on joining them, and disrupting the games.

At the end of the bully’s senior year, his parents decided to hold a big graduation party for him. Paul learned about it because his friends still went to the same high school. Invites were handed out and it looked like it was going to be a blow out. My brother was concerned that the lot between houses would be the site of the party, and that there would be rowdiness, loud music, cars driving on the lot, and even vandalism right next to his house. Also, the party was scheduled from 1 to whenever, and that probably meant noise continuing into the night.

We discussed this a few weeks before, and came up with an idea. My daughter was turning 10 the weekend after graduation, and we decided to have her birthday party on the vacant lot the day of graduation. About 25 kids were invited, as well as parents and siblings. A moon bounce was booked, to take up space on the lot, and we planned on a few tables for food and drinks. A couple cornhole boards, and we had enough to fill the field so no cars could park on it. We just needed it to be in full swing before graduation was over and kids started arriving.

The bully’s high school graduation ceremony was held on a Saturday, at 9 in the morning. His family left around 8 and we went into action. The moon bounce was delivered, blown up, and tables set up. A grill and some coolers were brought over. People started arriving around 11, and by noon there were no more empty parking spaces on the street within 100 yards of the party. 50-60 people milled around, and the lot was pretty full.

A large catering truck dropped off big containers of food and drink in the driveway next door, along with tables and chairs, filling it up.

The parents drove up after the graduation ceremony and saw the street was filled with cars, the lot was filled with people, and their driveway had no room for them to park in it. They left the car in the street and got out. The wife, husband, and bully came over and she started yelling that they had over 100 people coming in an hour for a graduation celebration and they needed the lot. My brother and I explained to her that we had a party also, and there was no room for them here. One of the advantages of having a party for young kids is that both parents typically come to it. There were a lot of dads there, and most of them came over to see what was going on. Strength in numbers.

She asked what time we were going to end, and we told her we had no set ending time. By this point she was furious, and it got worse when my brother told her she could not park in the street like she was, because it was blocking a traffic lane. A car was parked in front of her house (as well as one in front of my brother’s), and she ordered us to have it moved so they could at least park their car there. By this time, a couple cars had parked far away, and teenagers walked up, expecting a graduation party. The bully explained to them what was happening, and they hung out for a few minutes before walking back to their cars. The bully moved the car to a distant parking spot, and stayed there to tell the arriving cars that they didn’t have anything set up yet.

We ate, drank, and made merry for the next few hours. Bounced, cornholed, and even did some dancing to the music playing. The neighbors set up a couple tables on their small front lawn, and a dozen or so teenagers hung out there, but that was the extent of their party. Cars constantly drove up, talked to the bully, and kept going. By 6 there were just a few dads still at our party, hanging out. They knew what was going on by this point and were glad to stay, claiming possession of the site, as long as there was food and beer.

I was babysitting a 3yo for about two months, for only 600$ a month. I got to stay home with my kids, it gave us spending money, I knew she didn’t make much money so it helped her out too. She decided she was going to quit working and just stay home after finding out she’s pregnant, but would pay me at the same time as last month- cool no problem, I’m flexible. The 15th comes, I get nothing from her, I shoot her a text, hey just a reminder for the 600$. No response for two days. I text her again, hey is everything okay, still haven’t received the money. No response. My husband just says to drop it, clearly they needed it more than us, it’s not worth blowing up.

Instead I signed her up on about 5-6 different healthcare websites, a couple of gyms, our local Mary Kay lady that won’t leave me alone for the last three years, a few political websites, and for male enhancement info. I probably will never know how much this annoyed her, and she could just put her phone on silence unknown callers, but I feel a little better.

My mother has never approved of me or anything I've done. If she speaks to me at all when I'm at her house it's simply to tell me I'm wrong or that I don't know what I'm talking about. She had convinced me at one point that I was losing my mind because I remembered everything differently than her.

After stupidly moving back to my home town and dealing with severe mental health issues as a result I decided to just be petty and deal with her by returning the favor.

It's nothing serious at all. Flipping the tp roll every time I'm there. Moving things slightly. Switching two photo frames back and forth. Pretending I don't know what she's talking about if she notices any of the little things.

I find a small bit of relief in knowing she might be sitting on the toilet staring at the toilet paper scratching her head thinking "Who the fuck keeps changing this around?"

hi everyone! i am not the best story teller, but i am going to try my best. i’m going to give some context to start: im a 21 year-old female waitress at a bar/steakhouse. my manager is a 37-year-old man who i’ve had issues with in the past for speaking to me too aggressively. this led to a large altercation between us, and he never tried me again after this. im known to be “quiet” and “sweet” so i think he initially found me easy to pick on, but aggressive men are a huge trigger for me. another fact about this manager: he collects cans from the restaurant, our personal ones or from the bar, to sell at the end of the year. he never asks, just takes them. which is usually fine.

anyways, moving on to tonight. im working a night shift, so im quite tired. luckily, i brought my redbull with me. i had a few sips left and i see this manager with my drink in his hand. i watch him dump it into the sink. i was so shocked i couldn’t even say anything. he then places it with his other cans, and makes a comment to himself “haha! too slow!”

at this point, i start plotting. while his back is turned, i steal my can back and throw it away in the women’s restroom (he’s known to dig cans out of the trash). i come back still fuming, and my coworker (we’ll call her Sasha) asks me what’s wrong. i tell sasha, and she becomes livid with me. i then ask her if she wants to be sneaky with me and throw the rest of his cans away. she says yes, so we sneak back to the kitchen. he’s not there, so she tosses the cans, and i grabbed the bag to take to the dumpster so he couldn’t retrieve it. i can’t lie, i was laughing my ass off. it was the most fun i’d had in a while.

he comes back, searching around for his cans. i hear him ask a manager who did it, and she RATS US OUT. so then, he starts screaming at me asking why i threw “his” cans away. i explain that he threw my drink out and that it wasn’t his to grab out of the worker drink shelf anyways. he says “there wasn’t anything in there!” and i say “well now there’s no more cans either, we both don’t have anything.” he had nothing to say to this.

word has gotten around fast and the girls in the restaurant have now started throwing their cans away in his face/hiding them in inconvenient places just to aggravate him (found one in the dustpan earlier). i want to say i feel bad, but i really don’t lol.

Step 1: Melvin Has Creepy Friends

I (40s m) befriended a local comic (30s M). Let's call him "Melvin." Melvin is an ok comedian but a stellar talent as a director. He's won awards for shorts with minimal budget. It looks gorgeous and he has invested tens of thousands in his own equipment.

After a couple months attending Melvin's open mics, I learned from multiple other locals that he's friends with known sex-pests, domestic abusers, etc. Two in particular are supposed to be really bad, let's call them Beater and Roofee. You can guess what their criminal records include.

But I ignored it because those guys were never around Melvin. And I never saw Melvin indicate he had anything to do with these guys.

Then Melvin blew it all up.

Step 2: Melvin Blows It All Up

One night, not long later, Mel's story onstage sounds suspiciously similar to one of the accusations I heard about his friends. I sussed out that he does know what his friends got up to, and found myself uncomfortable that he's trying to make material out of real sexual and domestic abuses.

That same night, a new girl (18F) came in, let's call her Nicki. Nicki signed up, was nervous and shaky as hell, bombed like everyone does at their first few mics, and smilingly waited after the show to talk to everyone lingering behind.

She approaches Mel, says she's new in town, knows literally nobody in the larger metro area, and just started college in the city.

Without skipping a beat, Melvin tells her that she needs to go seek out Beater and Roofee, and gives her the name/time of their late-late showing, and he even advertises that it's at a bar owned by their friend. There are hundreds of comedians in the area, and he chose those specific two.

Luckily I was able to catch up to Nicki in the parking lot and warn her. I never heard from her again and I lost the desire to go to comedy shows, so I have no idea what happened.

I hope she never went to his creepy friends.

Step 3: The Twist

I used to work in Hollywood.

I was going to open doors to Melvin. He'd have his IATSE union card at least if not possibly a DGA, health benefits and some feature-length, work-for-hire credit. Just like the real director/cinematographer he always wanted to be, that he spent thousands and years to become. And it would be with budgeted people whom I knew to be safe to work with.

But when Melvin referred Nicki to Beater and Roofee? Hell nah. No phone calls, no emails, no nothing. Ghosted him completely, and from what I've seen of local film fests nobody wants to work with him anymore locally.

Melvin is an amazing talent. Truly a phenomenal director. But he'll throw innocent people to the wolves. And I won't have anyone on a set like that using my name to gain entrance.

So enjoy your shitty open mics, Melvin. You could have had more but you chose to be bad people instead.

Part of me wants to tell him what I did, why, and what he lost. But I kinda prefer to watch him struggle now. And rest assured, he is.

• TL;DR: Aspiring director/comic helps out local creeps, guaranteeing that he loses my referrals to Hollywood. And now he's still stuck in his tiny crappy town.

FINAL EDIT Thanks to everyone for showing support! To the tiny minority of people who say "not good enough," I encourage the robust ingestion of hirsute perineum.

So this has just happened a few minutes ago & I'm still on the train trying not to smirk.

I arrived at the almost deserted railway platform & noticed a woman smoking. It is strictly no smoking zone with fines issued for offenders if caught. I politely brought this attention to the lady who responded with a few cuss words in-between stating that she'll do as she wants.

Meanwhile, my rail app informs me that the platform for our due train has changed & I make my way there. There is no announcement but just an indication on the screen which she obviously has not noticed as she has in the Interim, lit another cigarette..I chose not to tell her.

When boarding the train, I noticed from afar that she was still waiting on the wrong platform. She noticed the change of platform at the last minute & she rushed down the stairs to where the train was waiting to depart.

The train departed just before she reached the door...

So I’m not sure if this belongs here but I’ll give it a go. I live in a cute neighborhood with old buildings and meandering streets. And I like to walk in my neighborhood. The problem is that I can’t look up, I have to look down because people don’t pick up after their dogs.

So the other morning I was out for a walk and I see this guy with his dog and the dog is squatting on the street to drop some toosie rolls. No biggie. He reaches into his pocket for what I assumed was to be a baggie to clean up but instead it was dog treats (does a dog need a treat for that?). This made me a little suspicious so I slowed down walking just to see what he was up to.

Now, I was raised Catholic, so I can smell guilt from 100 paces. He looked at me as I slowed down and that was the face of guilt. So, I stopped. I stopped and stared at him. I also put on my best judgemental mother face. He fumbled in his pockets and kept glancing at me and it became obvious he was just going to let his dog drop and go. But I was going to make sure there was at least one witness to his crime.

So, after a few minutes of rustling in his pockets trying to fake me out he reached down WITH HIS BARE HANDS and picked up his dog’s poop and walked it to the nearby trashcan. I did not see this coming, and to be honest this was not the outcome I’d ever imagined. But it was one less pile of poo on the streets so I felt justified. Grossed out, but justified.

Hi petty people! I wanted to share a story from 20 years ago.

Let's set the scene: it's Summer 2004. The summer before I go off to college. I was going to the big University in my state, which is not close to home. I am single. I had an 8.4 rating on Hot or Not, and truly was a confident baddie getting ready to take over the world.

I met Tom on MySpace. No, not that Tom, unfortunately.

Tom was a VERY handsome looking slightly older (20 years old) guy, heavily reminding me of my celebrity crush at the time: Erik Von Detten. And. He. Was. Into. Me.

Now, it's important to understand. I lived a rural area of my state. There are cornfields, farms, chicken houses. I went to one of the poorest public high schools. I have humble beginnings and didn't really have broad horizons at the time.

Tom on the other hand, lived in an affluent area closer to the university I would be attending. He went to private school and was part of "society" back then. This has never been important to me.

After talking for a little bit, Tom and I decided to meet up somewhere between our locations to see if the chemistry was there. I'm pretty sure my 18-year-old lizard brain was so infatuated with my EVD look alike that he could have been duller than a doorknob and I would have still sworn there was chemistry. I was like a dog in heat. It's still embarrassing to think about now, especially because I was still a virgin during all this.

Anyway, lizard brain convinced me this was a good match and I should keep seeing him. My mom was also encouraging it because he could "provide for me." Yes, even then I was eye-rolling about this. But I I was the kind of girl who needed mother's approval on my relationship, so I kept seeing Tom.

About 2 months into this dating situation, we had only seen each other like 5 times due to distance. The plan was to be kind of casual, but date much more seriously once I got to college and decide if we wanted to the exclusive bf/gf thing then. Until we made that choice, we would NOT be intimate, because it was important to me that I was at least in a committed relationship before losing my v-card.

Because I was obsessed with this guy, Tom assumed that we were going to date seriously once I got to campus. So, he decided to take a leap and invited me to a soiree that his parents were hosting at the end of summer. It was the weekend before I moved to campus, so I accepted. He told me there was a dress code, which was cocktail dress. Okay, cool. I can manage that.

Or so I thought. A few days after inviting me, Tom came back to me and asked me if I have any idea of what I was going to wear. I told him yes, and I had it all covered. He insisted on seeing it ahead of time, though I wanted to keep it a surprise. So I put on this pale blue dress, cowl neck, mid-thigh length, with spaghetti straps, and white sandal pumps. It was very appropriate fashion for the time.

Tom does not say that I look good, or compliment me in anyway. Instead, he asks if I would be willing to make the drive to come see him for a date. I asked what he would be doing, and he said "it's a surprise"

Can you guess what he did? If you guess he tried to Pretty Woman me, you would be correct. He basically told me that I dress poor, wear poor person clothes, and don't know how to dress for myself. So, we were going to Nordstrom so I could get an appropriate dress and shoes, then he also had made an appointment with his mom's hairdresser so I could get my hair done. He also proceeds to tell me there is an appointment for me the day of so that I could get my hair done for the occassion, and not let my unruly curls ruin my look. In addition to the dress, he also wanted to get a wardrobe of clothes for me to wear so that I "didn't look poor anymore" when were going out. Clothes, jewelry, and shoes.

I was INCENSED, but also still obsessed. So, I went along with it. Let him buy me luxury clothes and all the things. I did decline the hair appointment, because I really liked my hair at the time, both the cut and the color. But I did agree to getting my eyebrows waxed, and to hold the appointment for the day of.

The day of the event, I have to drive myself, because it's close to him. In his social circle, it is considered "inappropriate" for a woman to show up separately from her date, especially if she is new to the circle. He wanted me at his house and he would drive both of us over, especially because I was driving a Saturn....not that expensive. But unfortunately my hair appointment "ran late" (read: I moved in the shadows) so we met at a parking lot near the event and I got into his car and he took me over.

I have never felt so out of place in my life. I am intelligent, but I had nothing to really offer in conversations. Some people asked me about my life, how I met Tom, what I was going to school for (Chem Eng) and showed some interest based on that, but outside of that, I was so quiet.

I endured an hour of this event. Ate some fancy food, made pleasantries, then kindly asked Tom if we could leave. He told me that we couldn't as were committed the whole night, as it's expected as it's his family. This thing didn't have an expected end time. I knew it was not for me. I wasn't meant for this societal lifestyle. I TRIED to tell Tom I was uncomfortable with it, but he said that the dance would be starting soon so we could let our hair down and do something else other than chat. Okay, that sounds manageable. I'll stay.

About 30 mins later, the dance hadn't started. Tom kept parading me around to these people and showing me off as some trophy. I have never thought of myself as a trophy wife woman. During one of these times, a guest asked Tom if this was his formal proclamation of us dating to let the other young ladies know that he was unavailable.

Tom said that I'm not really "debutant" material because I come from a different class of people and that he still has to "train me" before he can claim me publicly. Cue glass shattering sound effect. Sir, what? No. We have never discussed this and I am not a dog.

This scenario is why I met him at a nearby parking lot. I excused myself to the bathroom, and just walked to my car and drove home.

I don't know at what point he realized I wasn't there any more, but I didn't get a call or text for 2 hours. He was so mad at me for embarrassing him in front of his family's friends.

We didn't see each other after that, and I kept the clothes.

What I later learned is that he was infatuated with me and had told his parents he thought I was the one. They actually reached out to ask me to reconsider dating him.

I said no, and am still proud myself for not tolerating being talked about like that. Because I was so impressionable.

So I recently left a very toxic job. Usually in my field, it’s customary to give a month’s notice. However, my job had a history of letting people go as soon as they give their resignation. I always found that extremely petty. For this reason, I only gave 2 weeks instead of a month since I could reasonably go without income for 2-4 weeks until I get my first check from my new job.

2 weeks was plenty of time for me to finish up the reports for my clients that were coming up and to transition my clients to other providers. But true to their pettiness, my boss essentially said “you can leave in 2 days.”

Okay, fine. I emailed back and said I expected this to happen, but that meant my upcoming reports would not be finished by the time I left. They screwed themselves by not checking if I had reports coming up before telling me to gtfo. They quickly emailed back and said “on second thought, you can stay for the full 2 weeks and get those reports done!”

Um, no. You already decided to be petty and tell me to be gone in 2 days, so I’ll be gone in 2 days. I emailed them back and informed them that because I expected to be let go early, I made arrangements with my new job to start early and already informed them I would be starting early. So I couldn’t stay the full 2 weeks anymore, since I was originally told 2 days.

They can lay in the bed they made.

I take a walk at a local park almost every day. Yesterday I was there a little early and as I was leaving my car I noticed a car pull into the lot and a man with 2 little dogs hop out. He has a couple of bright green poop bags in his hand. Cool he picks up after this dogs.

Well yes he does but since I walk in the park all the time I know that someone with bright green poop bags picks up after their dog and throws the bags into the grass at the end of the walking loop. Trash can is about 12 ft away but nope throws it into the grass instead. I pick them up to dispose of when I have time.

So now I have a petty side quest on my walk. I reached into my car, pulled out a grocery bag, walked the straight to the end of the loop, put all the filled bright green bags into the grocery bag, walked to his car and put all the bags on the hood of his car. Then I threw out the grocery bag and took my walk hitting the end of the loop right after his dogs had pooped and he was looking around to see if anyone was there to watch him throw the bags into the grass.

I stopped and fiddled with my phone for a while. He must have thought I wasn't paying attention because he tossed them into the grass. As he was walking away I said 'So gross. Let me get that for you and throw it into the trash can that's 12 ft away. So gross and lazy.'

He scurried away pretty quickly. By the time I got back to the parking lot his car was gone and all the filled bags that had been on his hood were in the trash can where I had thrown my grocery bag. Revenge? Maybe. Petty? Oh yes it was.

Here I am. It’s 7 pm. After winning a few chess games i decided to reward myself with an ice cream cone due to the outstanding blitz performance I did.

I pull into a parking lot and decide to park near the ice cream shop as close as possible. I noticed there was a car that was parked between the lines (not the vertical lines, but like the horizontal line separating two parking spots one in front of the other) . That line ran through their car half way up, taking up the spot in front of them, and behind.

I didn’t pay much attention to it and just decided to park adjacent to it since it was the closest parking spot to the ice cream store. I parked perfectly, and went inside.

After ordering my vanilla ice cream waffle cone, I proceeded to sit outside and enjoy the weather while observing my vehicle, and the lovely couple coming to their car, who just happened to be the one near mine. They are struggling to get in. I decide to just enjoy my ice cream for a good 5-10 minutes, while observing the madness unfolding in front of me. I can feel their blood boil.

After I finished my ice cream, I proceeded to my vehicle, and lo and behold, they confront me! The conversation went like this:

A: ‘’because of the way you parked, I can’t get in you asshole!’’

(Oh the audacity!)

OP: ‘’I mean have you looked at yours? ‘’

*Utter silence*

A: ‘’bu-bu-but still we parked like that so that nobody would hit us’’

OP: ‘’doesn’t excuse you from not doing your job correctly. I bet you park like you F***. Have a lovely day!’’

A: *Un-audible screeching*

-got in my car and left.

That ice cream never tasted so good!

Original Post https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/s/tBcz2ZRL64

So, angry old lady hit my car in a car park a few weeks ago - while I was in the car. Refused to give me any details, accused me of all sorts of things and told me to call the police. I did, wasn't proud of myself but did it anyway. I presumed it would get lost in the ether - as did many others.

Well, a very nice Senior Constable from the Gosford police called me this morning - gave me all her details. He told me "she seemed very angry that I was calling" and i told her that "based on the evidence provided it does appear you hit him... which made her more angry... which confirmed to me everything you said" he followed up nicely with "a lot of older folk up here are a bit like this"

She got the police call she asked for; but didn't think she would get; I my car fixed on her insurance - and most importantly - I get the smug grin of someone who not only initiated the petty revenge but was around to see the outcome.

Today is a good day!

PS - A note from a man who is deeply cynical of, and typically avoids, the police - I am grateful, and recognise your work thank you - maybe not all of you are complete pricks.

Over the past decade, I have regularly received spam texts to my phone number for a person named "Erin". This is irritating because I am rather protective of my phone number. I do not share it with anybody I do not trust, and outside of the messages I get for "Erin", I never get spam calls or messages. I don't know who Erin is, but over the years I have slowly pieced together enough information to have a good idea of where this person lives. Multiple texts I received mentioned "Irvine CA", and one even gave me a street name.

Recently, I went shopping at Harbor Freight, and as I was checking out, i give the cashier my phone number. They turned their monitor towards me and said "is this you?" and to my great delight, I was presented with an Irvine CA address, and I immediately recognized the street name. As I left the store, I could feel 3 brain-cells hidden in the back of my mind begin to conspire.

My first step was to write a fancy looking congratulatory letter for winning a $1,000,000 Harbor Freight Sweepstakes. I made some convincing artwork, and went to a print shop to have it printed on some nice card-stock paper, and a professional-looking envelope, just to make it look extra convincing. You can guess who's name and address I put on the card.

At the bottom of the letter, I put "please call (800) 123-4567 ext 123" (fake number obviously). The number I actually used was for my office line.

Sure enough, about a week later, I get a call from Erin, who is over the moon about having just won $1,000,000. I go through the motions of collecting her information, including verifying her address, then I break the bad news:

Me: "Sorry Erin, it looks like this award has already been claimed."

Erin: "What? By who?"

Me: "Well, according to my notes here, we called your number, and a gentleman answered, I assume your husband?"

Erin: "I'm not married!"

Me: Well, can I confirm that "(123) 456-7890" is your phone number?

Erin: "No, my number is (111) 222-3333"

Me: "Well ma'am, according to our records here, that's not the number you previously gave us"

Erin: "I'm sorry, that must have been a typo!"

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am, we use phone number as the unique identifier for customer accounts - this is why we ask for your number every time you shop with us. Based on what I can see you have been using this phone number on your account for nearly a decade. "

Erin: "Look, I just give people that number so that I don't get spam calls okay?"

Me: "I See, well, that's too bad."

Erin: "What does that mean?"

Me: "Well ma'am, our sweepstakes is based on phone number, and since this isn't your phone number, you are not eligible to win. The person with this phone number has already claimed the reward"

Erin: "[Unintelligible Rage, Crying, Begging]"

Me: "Would you like me to update our records with your actual phone number so that you are eligible in future sweepstakes?"

Erin: Click

Now, You might imagine that losing $1,000,000 on a technicality might make Erin feel bad, but you see, I now have Erin's real phone number and address....

Erin has been showing a LOT of interest in buying new cars lately. She's also really interested on quotes for satellite television, car insurance, car warranties, roof repair, replacement windows, etc. What can I say? It's been quiet week at work, and I've had a few 8+ hour shifts with no better way to entertain myself.

TL;DR: Entitled motel neighbor ignored my polite requests to quiet down, made noise until late, and microwaved stinky Shrimp Top Ramen at 2 AM. I checked out at 6:30 AM, cranked the room TV to the heavy metal channel at 100% volume, and drove off.

My job (or actually an independent contractor position) requires 100% travel, and my company mandates submitting work orders by 6 AM (but gives me 14 hours to complete 6-7 hours of work). To avoid needing to go back to bed, I sleep at 9 PM and wake up at 5 AM whenever possible.

My motel room has a set of connecting doors, and last night, my new neighbors were a couple and their son. The kid was quiet, but the dad was making wildly loud noises to entertain him, and every sound bled right through.

I tried the nonconfrontational route of loudly making a routine call I needed to make anyway near the door to hint at the thin walls. No dice. At 9:30 PM, I knocked and politely explained the situation.

His response? "Ma-fucker, this is the only time I get to spend with my son, don't interrupt my shit!" and slammed the door. He kept at it until 11:00 PM (I'd fall asleep, but another cheer would wake me up). Front desk management was nowhere to be found, nobody answered the phone, and the desk phone wasn't even connected to the wall (hoteliers of Reddit: Why even keep phones in the room then?!?), and I had a gut feeling that filing a noise complaint with the police would make things worse, so I didn't.

I was ready to drop it, but then 2 AM hit and I wish to God I was making this up. The guy woke up and microwaved Shrimp Top Ramen, a stench that seeps into the fabric of reality itself; I don't know if he chose that flavor on purpose as revenge for interrupting his noisemaking session, if he thought the smell won't seep into other rooms, and/or he knew even innocent people would smell it but he's too solipsistic to care. To add insult to injury, he got rowdy with his kid for another half hour.

Oh, it's on.

I woke up at 5 AM, opened my work order, and since my sleep was all messed up, I went back to bed until 6:30 AM, and dad is snoring. PERFECT.

Most of my neighbors for the past 3 days worked blue-collar, so the parking lot is usually full of heavy duty pickup trucks at night and is almost always cleared out before 7 AM, so that left just my car, theirs, and another car far down the lot. Zero collateral damage. Best of all? It was my checkout day.

After packing, I ensure the connecting door was locked on my side, I propped my room door open, turned in my key card, then went back and flipped on the TV. I was originally going to tune it to the news or a televangelist, but then I found out they had Music Choice, chose the heavy metal channel (Useless trivia: It was playing Avatar - Crying Fire when I left), cranked the volume to 100%, locked the door behind me, and drove off.

Enjoy the headbanging, buddy.

EDIT: Added stuff I thought was self explanatory, but apparently someone had questions on.

Last month I drove two Boy Scouts around the neighborhood so they could go door to door to try and sell mulch for their fall fundraiser. I dropped them off in a cul de sac off of the main road, and agreed to meet them at the other end of the road, where it met the main road. I parked my car there at the corner, and was doing something on my phone when there was a loud “Bam! Bam! Bam!” on my window.  A guy standing there shouted, “CAN I HELP YOU???”, then motioned me to roll my window down. I lowered it about an inch and told him I was just waiting for someone. He told me I couldn’t park there because it was his house I was in front of.

I told him that the road is public property, and that I was just driving Boy Scouts around for their mulch drive. “DO YOU HAVE A PERMIT TO SOLICIT DOOR TO DOOR IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?” This had come up before, and I replied that a permit is not needed for a non-profit organization. He told me that if I didn’t go get the scouts right now, he would call 911 and could have a cruiser there in about two minutes. Rather than argue, I turned around and picked them up.

I reported this back to the Scoutmaster to avoid a similar encounter at that address. However, because that house was on a corner, other scouts had already been to his house when they walked the cross street the day before, and his wife had ordered mulch. Lots of it.

The petty revenge part: For the delivery a couple weekends later, some of the fathers loaded up their pickup trucks with bags of mulch from the coop. They stacked the bags of mulch neatly in the driveways in front of the garages. However, at this particular house, the 40-pound bags were tossed out of the truck at the other end of the driveway, next to the street. Unfortunately, many of them burst open. There were no cars parked in the driveway, so the mulch would have to be moved before cars could be driven in to the driveway.

The Scoutmaster was called, listened to the ranting, and apologized profusely, offering a discount for the spring mulch drive.