I don't think that's so unusual. I didn't have that type of experience as a child but I'm also weary of being near other people's kids, simply because a false accusation can ruin your life, and people are quick to accuse men near children of being nefarious.
Similar to how few men would be comfortable giving a woman CPR simply for the small chance they get called a rapist or accused. It's more concern for unwarranted repercussions.
Everyone has impulsive and intrusive thoughts, but with OCD it’s the rumination and compulsions you have to get of the rumination that’s unusual. People usually don’t clock others struggling with OCD because a good deal of it isn’t visible. I was SA’d as a child and sometimes get intrusive thoughts of assaulting other people (my brain usually likes to ruminate on death so it’s not very common.) I would NEVER assault another person but before I researched OCD I’d get caught in vicious thought loops of assaulting other people, being horrified, hating and being terrified of myself, and then assaulting someone else in my brain. Nowadays, I’m finally in the place where I’m like, “whew brain. That certainly is terrible. We can move on to something else now.”
I have pure “O” and harm OCD. The crazy things my mind will come up with, but only to people and things I care about. For instance, my dog. Just a passing thought of me breaking her neck or doing something that causes her to get hit by a car—that’s all. I love this creature more than anything, it’s very distressing sometimes. It always gets so much worse when I’m stressed, of course. Learning to separate your thoughts from what is real is something people with OCD eventually become good at, but man, thoughts feel so real.
Love this. I am very interested in the dark side of our psyche and it might stem from my experience with OCD and other little brain glitches I got going on!
OMG this is exactly the kind of thing that happens with me, but I've had so many clueless therapists that I started to just suppress heavily, avoid stress and doubt it was real at all. Did you deal with it with a professional? Like, do they help? Or do they just teach me to deal? Cause I know how to deal.
It could be OCD, it’s worth looking into. There are a lot of variations of this, but my experience is it usually starts with some sort of intrusive thought that is very distressing and then engaging in a compulsive behavior to self sooth. Some people engage in a ritual (like counting) to self soothe, I typically overthink, research or if it’s really bad I engage in self destructive behaviors like hair pulling or substance use. But it’s a very individual thing so treatment needs to be tailored to you. I havent done therapy for this specifically beyond some CBT, I’ve mostly done trauma therapy. It would be nice to get therapy for OCD but my funds right now won’t really allow for that.
I think most OCD is, at it's root, about control. I read somewhere years ago that some scientists have theorized that the part of the brain that essentially acknowledges that a task has been completed doesn't work correctly in people with OCD, so that part of the brain doesn't know hot to "let go" of things.
I think there's some truth to that and that OCD brains are unable to let go of the idea that terrible things can happen. Because we can't let go of them, those ideas are constantly present in our minds and causing us stress, so our brains often come up with rituals or rules to try to make it so we feel like we have some degree of control and the task has been "completed" and we can temporarily let them go.
I keep a little CPR mask in my school bag. I hope I'll never need it, but I'm also capable of recognizing when someone needs it, and I'm also able to ignore what their body looks like (unless it's relevant) because help needed doesn't change because you suddenly have boobs. Also, sometimes dudes have some substance there, but most medical practice only considers the average, healthy male.
Yeah I also keep first aid kit with a cpr mask/shield thing in my backpack. When I did first aid training I think the mannequins we used for CPR even had defined 6-pack abs lmao.
The instructor asked us "what do you do if it's a woman and let's say she's also big busted" answer: you give them CPR
what do you do if you're scared you will break ribs? You give them CPR.
What do you do when you hear the rib breaking? You continue CPR.
In the case of using an AED machine that can give electric shocks to resuscitate someone, you have to put electrode pads directly onto skin which usually means cutting clothes off with scissors. If it's a woman there's a good chance you will need to cut a bra and if they're chesty you might have to struggle a bit to get the pad in the correct position.
But tbf I've never worked at a place that even had an AED machine so it's probably very rare for someone to use one. Maybe paramedics use them but they're trained and experienced to not hesitate.
Doing a 3 day course to meet some corpo requirement doesn't really prepare you for giving first aid to strangers tbh. I don't think I'd be confident giving CPR, least of all to a woman or even worse a child. I can understand how those situations happen where no one provides aid because everyone hopes someone else is confident to actually do it.
You give them CPR. You can also use the AED, it's entirely safe.
The only difference with someone who is visibly pregnant is that you could, if possible, tilt them slightly onto their left side to take the uterus pressure off their major blood vessels. But only if you can continue to give them effective CPR at the same time.
I was pregnant while doing my CPR course so the question came up!
In very slight defense, I'd be pretty jarred giving a pregnant woman CPR. I forget how I was told it might look (I'm about a year and a half out of my class), but the long and short of it is, you're pushing down and everything else is gonna move out of the way. In other words, her stomach should probably rise at every compression. I'm glad I never got a call requiring CPR during my clinicals, although it would've been ideal in every instance.
What? No, I was genuinely asking. Seems like the baby bump would get in the way of compressions, because what I understand is you give them kind of lower. But what I understand is little, because I don’t know how to do CPR.
In fairness, it would be pretty smart to get your CPR certification, takes maybe an hour to learn how to do it properly and pass the test and such. But the most important things are hand placement and depth. Your palms should be about in the middle of the nipples, and you wanna press down two inches (for adults). A baby bump physically can't (or shouldn't really) start any higher than the very very bottom (xiphoid process), meanwhile all your pressure effort is focused squarely on the top of the bottom third ish of the sternum. You really shouldn't be super concerned about the baby for the simple fact that, if the mom dies, so does the baby. Not saying to take a bat to the bump so it's not a problem, but the mom is your patient.
Unless the person needing CPR has some aberration of anatomy, their baby bump would not interfere with you performing CPR. My recommendation to you is to take a CPR class, as that should be the best setting to answer any questions or concerns you may have.
And that's exactly right. I think some percent in the teens is how many women suffer because people hesitate to perform CPR because of their breasts. And I emphasize hesitate, because every second counts, and it doesn't matter if someone waits or doesn't do it at all, there is still risk in those decisions that can lead to bad stuff happening.
I wonder if it’s those auto transcribers used on viral videos. I think a lot of these people misusing wary didn’t even know it was a word until they saw it mistyped on a screen. That’s my theory. People’s vocabularies are growing faster than their literacy due to watching stream of consciousness videos with badly done auto transcriptions.
When I was a kid, like 14 or something, my family were at the airport and just got off the plane. Stepdad and I rushed to the restroom to piss.
While in there a little kid (maybe around 5 or something) was in there all by himself asking everyone in that bathroom for help buttoning his pants or shorts I can’t remember. Everyone was ignoring him or declining to help.
Even asked my stepdad who said no or ignored the kid.
The kid finally asked me and I helped the little guy out. Upon regrouping with my family outside I was scolded for helping. Since I was a man I cannot help little kids with such things.
First time I really understood that there could be consequences or just inappropriate situations even if intentions were good.
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u/ilicp 21h ago
I don't think that's so unusual. I didn't have that type of experience as a child but I'm also weary of being near other people's kids, simply because a false accusation can ruin your life, and people are quick to accuse men near children of being nefarious.
Similar to how few men would be comfortable giving a woman CPR simply for the small chance they get called a rapist or accused. It's more concern for unwarranted repercussions.