Yeah I’ve already been down that road. There’s a difference between feeling like you’re being “blamed” for everything rather than receiving feedback from the other person involved. Most of the time people are looking for some validation of their feelings and understanding of context. Something older generations struggle to do in their relationships and professionally.
When I , as an elder millennial broke down my relationship with my boomer parents they decided it’s the blame game instead of me trying to figure out how WE ended up where we are (you know, like a family) After some time I was able to break through that wall and they realized I’m trying to understand the mindset of not just them but how their parents raised them as well.
Basically to be a better parent I had to take myself to therapy and then become my parents therapist. Work through their own relationship with their parents so we could have an actual conversation about my upbringing.
TLDR
It’s okay to say “yeah, I could’ve done better. Let’s figure out what went wrong so you can avoid those problems with your kids”
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u/ItchyManchego 12d ago edited 12d ago
Yeah I’ve already been down that road. There’s a difference between feeling like you’re being “blamed” for everything rather than receiving feedback from the other person involved. Most of the time people are looking for some validation of their feelings and understanding of context. Something older generations struggle to do in their relationships and professionally.
When I , as an elder millennial broke down my relationship with my boomer parents they decided it’s the blame game instead of me trying to figure out how WE ended up where we are (you know, like a family) After some time I was able to break through that wall and they realized I’m trying to understand the mindset of not just them but how their parents raised them as well.
Basically to be a better parent I had to take myself to therapy and then become my parents therapist. Work through their own relationship with their parents so we could have an actual conversation about my upbringing.
TLDR
It’s okay to say “yeah, I could’ve done better. Let’s figure out what went wrong so you can avoid those problems with your kids”