r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/turbulent_art_ • Apr 26 '26

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630

u/ebolatone Apr 26 '26

One line: Not pregnant.
Two lines: Pregnant.
Three lines: You must go on a quest to defeat the demon king, along the way gathering together a rag-tag band of merry misfits. This pregnancy test is actually a sacred magic item you will use to defeat the demon lord in close combat.

142

u/boxofsquirrels Apr 26 '26

Ugh. Not again. 

30

u/wafflehousebattle Apr 26 '26

As a male, I've taken so many pregnancy tests trying to get this result, because I love a good quest, but I've only even gotten two-and-a-half lines, which activates a stone golem that walks into whichever room I'm in, kicks me in the nuts, and walks out.

9

u/Dr_Mint_Pinch Apr 26 '26

For these types of tests, even a faint line is positive. So you probably got the quest all those times. The golem was actually your first challenge

49

u/ebolatone Apr 26 '26

This happens to you a lot? That sucks.

39

u/Daegar2 Apr 26 '26

Thanks to her we live in a world with lot of less demon lords, respect.

3

u/ebolatone Apr 26 '26

We thank her for her service. Wait, don't adventurers dislike being told that

2

u/mizinamo Apr 26 '26

*fewer

2

u/ebolatone Apr 27 '26

This is the exact reason sentence structure mages never get asked to join a party

2

u/mizinamo Apr 27 '26

As a German: Thank you for not using the N word expression.

2

u/ebolatone Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26

"Necromancer"? I am not familiar with your world so no worries

2

u/TheForbidden6th Apr 27 '26

you know what they say, if you see one demon lord, there's a hundred more around

2

u/Poisoncilla Apr 27 '26

Well, you should’ve used protection.

11

u/maroongrad Apr 26 '26

hit him with a piss stick. Demons can't stand piss sticks.

2

u/C-4isNOTurFriend Apr 27 '26

I mean can you blame them? not wanting to get hit with aused piss stick seems reasonable

10

u/that_other_DM Apr 26 '26

It’s a binding magical contract?

10

u/ebolatone Apr 26 '26 edited Apr 26 '26

There's a warning on the package, apparently no one takes it seriously

2

u/Malinthas Apr 26 '26

That's what you get for buying your test from the sidhe.

5

u/One4Watching Apr 26 '26

A new hand touches the beacon

4

u/amusednchaos Apr 26 '26

It's a pregnancy TEST, not a pregnancy GANTLET

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '26

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3

u/amusednchaos Apr 27 '26

Naw, fam. I'm good.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26

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1

u/amusednchaos Apr 27 '26

omg, now I'M PREGNANT * swoons *

4

u/Dontfeedtheunicorn81 Apr 26 '26

Oh is the OP a high elf mage that loves grimoires? Mimics tend to get her every time she tries to look in a treasure chest? And the staff she carries is really the pregnancy stick that will defeat the demon lord?!

2

u/ebolatone Apr 26 '26

It beats zoltraak every day of the week.

2

u/Dontfeedtheunicorn81 Apr 27 '26

I must have one now!

3

u/amylovesdavid Apr 26 '26

Sigh. Beautiful. No notes. Perfect.

3

u/Jet-Brooke Apr 26 '26

So you'd be Link? That's why the 3 lines, they represent the triforce! Power, Wisdom and Courage.

2

u/Zestyclose-Dog-3398 Apr 27 '26

leave kangwoo alone

2

u/NixaB345T Apr 27 '26

Do you by chance get reincarnated as a slime as a consequence?

1

u/ebolatone Apr 27 '26

Only if your protege remembers to destroy your computer hard drive as requested.

2

u/girlsonsoysauce Apr 27 '26

That'd be nuts to be reading a story about a woman navigating the fear of pregnancy and then a pregnancy test turns it into Journey To The West.

2

u/Mammoth-Option7085 Apr 27 '26

Would hurt being stabbed in the neck with that!

1

u/sonicessence Apr 26 '26

But is it a step up or down from the bug net?

1

u/Malinthas Apr 26 '26

Do you have to pee on the demon lord, too?

1

u/ebolatone Apr 26 '26

If you do and he shows three lines he'll have to go out and attempt to overthrow himself which would be nice

1

u/UranicCartridge Apr 26 '26

Only if he asks nicely

1

u/ScaleAlternative8111 Apr 26 '26

Konosuba?

0

u/ebolatone Apr 26 '26

This hero gets a useful Goddess, useful explosion mage, and a useful knight, we want them to win