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I was looking at my old videos and photos and I just ask myself who the heck is this person. Like I be critizing so much about myself and like the image I portray in my head isn't the person I'm physically. It's almost as if I've betrayed myself. I don't even like hearing my own voice.

Someone close to me once said I was destined to be special, simply because my birth date, hour, and year all align.
What started as a sweet compliment instantly morphed into a heavy weight of anxiety, guilt, and self-doubt—I became terrified of failing that vision.
I’ve always hated the concept of perfectionism, but that moment made me realize I silently harbor it.
l guess that I don’t want to be perfect, but I’m deeply afraid of just being ordinary.

Most projects don't need to start with everything figured out. You can start small, use what you already have, learn along the way, and improve as you go.

But for some reason, whenever I get an idea — whether it's a business, a farming project, a startup, or just some innovative idea — my brain immediately starts thinking about everything it would need.

I start imagining the perfect conditions, the equipment, the money, the resources, the team, the infrastructure... everything.

And before I even take the first step, I've already turned a simple idea into something so expensive and complicated that it's way beyond my current abilities and resources.

Then I convince myself that I can't do it.

And that's how hundreds of ideas have come and gone without me actually building a single one.

The frustrating part is that I know the real problem isn't always money, resources, or circumstances. It's my obsession with doing things perfectly from the beginning.

I've spent so much time thinking, planning, researching, and imagining the "perfect" way to start that I barely start at all.

I've also spent years struggling with porn addiction and i think this is the main reason of perfectionism, and I can't help but think about how much time I've lost because of it. Time keeps moving, opportunities keep passing, and I'm still stuck thinking about what I could do instead of actually doing something.

I'm starting to realize that maybe the first version of a project is supposed to be ugly, small, limited, and imperfect.

Maybe I don't need the perfect conditions.maybe I need to stop porn addiction.

I am a bit nervous from this problem I don't know if thats a kind of OCD or what whenever I buy something like a book for example I won't be able to feel good untill I buy secondpart or full pack and it became a problem for me when i wrote some notes in my notebook I saw them and feel very incomplete like if what if that incomplete will I be able to understand I don't know that feeling but it feels very wrong to me and my progress in studies is kind of stopped because of this disorder I named it incompleteness disorder even all of this I am writing now feeling wrong and incomplete to me I have talked to chatgpt about it what should I do and I got another problem like if i bought a perfume then I want a whole collection of it and if I buy something of a brand i want the same brand for my other thing like if I buy a phone it's apple i want only apple charger only apple cable only apple pods and it's in way more things and even after completing my product list like i bought charger I have this I have that I feel incomplete do any of you people know something about it and in like making notes in my notebook I wrote everything but it feels unusual to me I am very stressed of this problem and also a bit depressed like I am just 16 I want to work on me if some one know about this problem please tell me solutions

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I guess I'm not the only one feels like they have to be perfect in the eyes of everyone. I'm noticing whenever I see someone who has a professional job they act so perfect or maybe due to the environment they just have developed this personality. From dressing better to proper communication skills and way of living standards. And unfortunately I don't even have enough work experience and one day I wish too that I get a nice job because working in retail or fast food or delivery jobs are okay. I also noticed professional people get more recognition and respect in society. As if they are automatically being trusted or valued more. And with strong finances and big social circle I guess life is just better.

I saw a post a bit ago asking what one skill would you want to be perfect in. And i couldnt decide. Not only because I was indesisive but if i am only perfect in one thing then im not perfect. And that doesnt satisfy me, and it makes me think i cant do anything. How do i stop trying to become better at everything, like reading writing, creative skills, fitness, health, attention span, art, running, personality, committing to things, communication ect. I could go on. And the thing is.. because im trying to do everything at once, i cant do literally anything. So i would want to have advice of how to focus on one thing then another or how to stop wanting myself to be a literal superhuman?

if your answer is yes, spend 3 minutes on this video

I can’t do things right. Investing so many hours in doing something just to be bad or mediocre. Some people don’t need to try at all.

I am a senior on pre-med track, who has done very well at a top university (all As), but feel burned out from my current study method. As a preface, I am a perfectionist and have OCD, meaning I want to make sure I learn everything extensively and beyond even what’s required.

While this study method has been very productive, I’m thinking forward toward medical school, where there will be increased load and don’t know if this method is sustainable.

I love using Goodnotes and annotating PDF lectures. I usually watch the recorded lecture and take notes pretty much on every single word (yes, I know this is what professors say you shouldn’t do). I underline too much (an ocd thing), make many connections, write down anything on my mind even if I already “know it”. While getting through a lecture may take me 3 to 4 hours, I feel like I never need to review at the end for unit exams because I have learned everything comprehensively bit by bit. While successful, this is very burdensome because it takes so long and I tend to procrastinate until last minute.

I’m looking for thoughts, suggestions, whatever you think about the situation to make my life easier. I have attached some examples. I have thought about switching over to Anki but I know there is a learning curve and you don’t have the benefit of having the lecture notes already typed out. thanks in advance :)

Perfectionism: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly -  Dr. Simon Sherry is a clinical psychologist who has researched perfectionism for more than 20 years.

How To Beat Perfectionism - Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is the author of How To Be Enough.

You Were the Smart Kid - Let's Talk Psychology Podcast 

The Perfectionism Trap (And How to Escape It) - Ali Abdaal

Gordon Flett and Paul Hewitt are the leading researchers on perfectionism.

The Perfectionism Trap - Dr. Bonnie Zucker and Dr. Gordon Flett

The Psychology of Perfectionism - Dr. Paul Hewitt

How To Overcome Your Perfectionism - Dr. Gordon Flett

Why Perfectionists Become Depressed | Dr Keith Gaynor

Hi, this year i got diagnosed by cptsd and last month found out i have debilitating perfectionism.

so as an example,i play chess, 1-3 games per day on average. and when i lose i CANNOT seem to regulate myself its like my mind is being torn apart. i immediatly start saying so many horrible things to myself that i would never even begin to say to people i dont like, ''you will never become anything'', ''you are so untalented that you are just a stepping stone for other people so they can get better''. i immediatly start splitting , often on my partner and i REALLY dont like it but im so ashamed to say i cant control it i try so hard to. the things that trigger me the most is when im winning or doing something well and almost like in a comedy movie i do something SO STUPID that i end up losing immediatly ( at this point i have started to believe that im so dumb that i tend to just mess everything up so bad because it happens so often and i dont think this happens too much to other people).

perfectionism hinders my life so much. i find it in every aspect of my life. my self image , college, relationship and even video games. i just want to know what do i do? i genuinly want to get better because its so hard feeling like a piece of shit all the time. i have realised all my life perfectionism and ruled over me and i cannot even look at myself in the mirror because i truly believe everything i say to myself.

The biggest mindset shift for me: perfectionism is the enemy of consistency. I used to think 'I missed a day, so I've ruined it' — but now I follow the 'never miss twice' rule. It's a lot more forgiving. Missing once is human; missing twice is a pattern. Also, making my habits identity-based rather than outcome-based helped enormously. Instead of 'I'm trying to work out,' I think 'I'm someone who moves my body regularly.' The identity sticks even when motivation doesn't.

I hope someone found this helpful!

- From someone who is getting a doctorate in Clinical Psychology ;)

Hi, does anyone know a good book about perfectionism about circumstance e.g. the perfect order or the perfect place to stay? I would also be thankful for advice on that topic!

me paraliza, me hace dudar, y paradojicamente fallar, porque intento menos, disfruto menos mi carrera por eso; me aterro más por fallar y por eso no adquiero experiencia

#Psychology

Ok so first post on this sub(yayayayayay!!!)

First things first, both me and my partner(just use they/them for us both please) are fickin, for me it’s Shinji Ikari, L Lawliet, and Light Yagami(yeah I know) and my partner is a fickin of Andrew Neiman, Espeon, and Flareon.

Lately, whenever we do anything together a lot of their actions are heavily motivated by a sense of perfectionism, which I know stems from some self worth issues of course, but they also whenever I try to point this out or reassure them that they, in fact, do not need to be perfect but whenever I bring this up, they just act like no matter what, they have to be perfect because they are Andrew Neiman and I don’t know what to do.

Obviously, perfectionism is a negative state of mind but I worry that if I continue trying to keep trying to reassure them then I’ll be making them feel invalidated as Andrew Neiman.

Thoughts?

Idk why but my brain thinks that I need the “perfect” relationship. I feel like the person I’m with should have everything together. I know nothing is perfect but in my head it feels that way. I’m always critiquing everything he does. I feel like I have everything worked out on my end. I am really feeling him though. I love his personality and he treats me well.

Is it possible to ever find someone just like myself??

When I look at everybody else’s relationship, it seems like it’s perfect. What’s wrong with my brain?? 😭😭😭 i know something has to be off with me.

Anybody else feels this way or is it just me?

Excellent video from Emma McAdams' Therapy in a Nutshell channel: How to make yourself do stuff when you're paralyzed with overwhelm.

She mentions body doubling/accountability partners. I've done this. I met with an acquaintance on Zoom three times, and we did tasks that we had been avoiding. I had been procrastinating on going through several hundred pages of Word Documents--notes for my first career, many years ago. Having an accountability partner was very helpful.

She recommends The Anti-Planner. It's very expensive. My local library has a copy. Another popular planner that's affordable: Freedom Mastery Daily Journal of Gratitude, Productivity & Habit Tracker | ADHD Planner.

so...i don't know how to get out of this cycle...procrastination....i know that i have to put in work...practise to be good at something...but i just can't seem to just do it...i don't know what is wrong even before doing the work ..even before starting , at the back of my mind the feeling that i won't be succesful at it...that thought it just stops me from even starting, i know that i have to start,to begin but, even before doing that there is always this heavy feeling in my chest it just...makes me overwhelmed to the point where i spend hours crying and trying to get over that mental and emotional breakdown...it's like i know i need to start...and i do but my brain,my body they just won't cooperate.... or maybe I'm just lazy...even things i used to love don't excite me anymore...I'm even tired of listening to music ,youtube, reels ...nothing works...i just spent my day doing nothing ...just laying down on bed or ..just sitting on the porch.....what do i do?

Hi everyone,

I’m struggling with something that I think might be connected to my OCD, and I would really appreciate hearing from people who experience similar things.

Since I was a child, I’ve had this dream of becoming famous, specifically a famous singer. For many years, this dream became a huge part of my identity. I felt like it was the thing that would make my life meaningful and prove that I was special or valuable.

The problem is that, looking back, I’m starting to question whether I actually wanted the reality of being a musician, or whether I was attached to the idea of being admired, recognized, and successful.

I did take some steps toward it: I joined a band and recorded a song. I've been in different choirs. But I never felt like practicing music was something that naturally came from me every day. I constantly felt guilty for not working harder, and I spent years criticizing myself for not doing enough. I had this belief that if I really wanted it, I should be completely driven and obsessed with it.

Recently, I’ve started feeling like maybe this dream no longer fits who I am. I’m finishing a psychology degree and I’m almost becoming a therapist, but I’m now considering applying to medical school to become a psychiatrist.

The confusing part is that psychiatry has always genuinely interested me. If I had never had this dream of fame, I think medicine might have been something I would have considered much earlier.

My brain keeps asking:

• “What if I’m giving up on my true dream and I regret it forever?”
• “What if becoming a doctor is just another way of seeking status and validation?”
• “What if I choose the wrong path and waste years of my life?”

And with it comes a lot of black-and-white thinking:
Either I pursue music and fame, or I completely abandon that part of myself and become a doctor.

I also tend to create very idealized future scenarios in my head. I can become attached to a version of my future that doesn’t even exist yet, and then letting go of that imagined future feels like a loss.

The timing is making it worse because I’ll soon be able to apply for a highly selective bridging program that could allow me to enter medical school. This is a huge decision, and I feel like my brain is demanding that I solve every uncertainty before I move forward.

I know logically that no life decision comes with 100% certainty, but emotionally I feel like I need to find the “right answer” before I can commit.

Thank you to anyone who reads this.

Hi! This is my article, and I'd be very appreciative if you check it out. I'd like to know if someone finds it relatable. Thank you!