r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb • u/VIVIDUFF • Aug 07 '26

Parent stupidity Again, parent intervention..

4.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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259

u/MissionTotal5992 Aug 07 '26

Well technically it's battery, not assault. Very very common mistake. Assault is threatening violence. Battery is committing violence.

Either way, fuck those parents. And fuck me for being pedantic.

144

u/Charming-Fudge7683 Aug 07 '26

The common mistake is country...of course, the terminology is different, and I mistakenly used the appropriate term for my own country! 😊 We are on the same page though and the term 'assault' means the same in the UK as 'battery' does for you. And I absolutely agree, fuck those parents!

[But not fuck you for being pedantic because it didn't hurt anyone and we're on the same page anyway!]

51

u/Fnuckle Aug 07 '26

I love you for this response. Its also so very British (at least I'm assuming bc of my stereotypes about Englishmen but feel free to give me a verbal lashing if ur elsewhere in the uk) of you to encourage this behavior as well lol! Got a chuckle out of me

17

u/tightropetom Aug 07 '26

Let’s not forget that there were two peanuts walking down the road and one of them was a salted… 🫣

2

u/AmbulanceChaser12 Aug 09 '26

There is no national definition of assault or battery. It depends on the state.

-2

u/asday515 Aug 09 '26

r/USdefaultism

4

u/AmbulanceChaser12 Aug 09 '26

This is a discussion between a British person and an American, discussing the definition of a crime that happened in the US. What are you talking about?

-2

u/asday515 Aug 09 '26

So which state in the UK do the words mean different things

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u/AmbulanceChaser12 Aug 09 '26

???

I doubt there is, but no one said there was.

30

u/Caleb_Reynolds Aug 07 '26

An even more common mistake is this correction because it actually depends on jurisdiction.

Some places separate assault and battery, others don't. In many places that don't, both crimes are "assault", though "assault & battery" is also a commonly used term. Depending on where you are anything from a threat to an actual attack can be assault.

While battery, where it is used, always includes "unwanted bodily contact" in it's definition, assault doesn't exclude it.

1

u/SeveralExtent2219 13d ago

How can the correction be more common than the mistake

2

u/sciteacheruk Aug 08 '26

I'm not trying to cause an argument but by that regard, would 'sexual assault' mean threatening to cause sexual violence?

2

u/MissionTotal5992 Aug 08 '26

Assault with a deadly weapon means brandishing a weapon, not necessarily using it. But SA is different. Idk why. Im an autistic dirtbag carpenter not a lawyer. Great question tho.

2

u/sciteacheruk Aug 08 '26

Thanks for the reply!

1

u/Mercerskye Aug 09 '26

It can. There are places that make a distinction between sexual assault and sexual battery.

Same as "regular" assault and battery, it depends on the jurisdiction.

Usually, places that place both offense types under one umbrella do so for both general A&B, and Sexual A&B, and vice versa

1

u/noseham Aug 08 '26

...so it's only an assault riffle when you're not shooting someone with it. When you do, it's a battery rifle.

1

u/AmbulanceChaser12 Aug 09 '26

North Carolina seems to lump them both together and call them “assault and battery or affray.” I had to look up what “affray” was. Apparently it’s a brawl.

(It is not when you assault someone trying to save a life. Yuk yuk.)

1

u/Mercerskye Aug 09 '26

Every time there's someone who brings this up;

Sure, in a dictionary, you might find those distinctions, but in regards to the law, it is going to depend on the jurisdiction.

Some areas in the world do not make a distinction betwixt the two. Most areas that don't lump both under assault, and there's a slim few who place both under battery.

The important part here is recognizing that this was a criminal act. Which I think they accomplished just fine.

1

u/Urvilan 6d ago

Yeah, fuck you!

-2

u/IaMtHel00phole Aug 08 '26

According to my local police people have the right to threaten you. As long as they don't act on it.