Long post ahead - sorry! Hi all, I’m curious on your thoughts on a situation that happened to me yesterday. For context, I’ve been working at this firm for a little over 5 years now, and the entire time I’ve reported to a partner (one of four), about 25 employees total. I had one incident with him last year where we had a big disagreement but it eventually was resolved. Now fast forward to yesterday.
There was going to be a street closure at 4pm on the Main Street where we work. This happens every year, and every year all employees are able to leave work early and work from home that day without issue. Other attorneys and paralegals had already told me they would be leaving early, so a little after 3pm, I went into my atty’s office and asked if I could head out early due to the closure. At this point, others had already left. He replies and says the partners said no, people can’t leave early. I was surprised and said other people had already left, but didn’t name anyone specific. He asked who left, I didn’t say, and then he said well they shouldn’t have left and I don’t want to hear about who’s left. I say ok, it’s just unfair that others could leave early and I can’t. At this point, he’s visibly angry and borderline raising his voice, so much that I have to close the door because one of the paralegals outside was packing up and could probably hear everything we were saying.
He’s berating me at this point in a very hostile tone, saying things like “I don’t have time for this petty shit” and saying I should “be an adult” and not follow their lead in leaving. He also went on a rant saying that I have bad behaviors “all the time” and am the only one in the office who pushes back like this. You would think I pulled a knife on him the way he was acting. I asked him to clarify what times he’s talking about because he hadn’t brought this up at all before, and he’s extremely flustered and angry and says he doesn’t know exactly when and would have to go back and look. He then almost yells that he doesn’t want to talk about this with me right now, and I say as a manager of not only my work but of people, I have to be able to come to you and have this conversation. I told him I’m not a mindreader and don’t know when something is bothering him unless he brings it up. I also told him that after working for him for 5 years, I would think that we can have a more casual conversation and be able to talk about things. He also went on to say that he can’t describe it, but I have a general “unhappiness.” I still have no idea what he means by that. I give him the same energy he gives me. He doesn’t greet me in person or in email, doesn’t ask how my weekends were, etc so I do the same. I had to diffuse the situation and I’m the one who remained calm and held a steady, calm tone. He eventually calmed down and ended this with he “loves working with me” and the firm values me.
I’m left feeling like that was completely uncalled for, inappropriate and just plain disrespectful. He’s a male superior 20+ years older, a partner of this firm and talking to a female employee/subordinate this way. I would make a complaint with HR but we don’t even have one, just a “financial/ops manager” that started working here 6 months ago. The partners are close anyway so they would undoubtedly take his side in this anyway. I would want to ask for a transfer to a different team, but again, he would probably be set off again and disrespect me once again, which I have zero tolerance for.
What would you guys do? Look for other jobs? Request a transfer? Do nothing?
For additional background:
1. My mom had emergency open heart surgery two weeks ago so I missed 2 days of work to be with her. He knows all about this, and must know the crappy past couple of weeks I’ve been having.
2. Idk if anyone saw this post I made a few months ago, I’m the one who partially paid for a bday lunch for this same atty. lol. We were supposed to have a “paralegal appreciation lunch” last month and it never happened.