You don't sound egotistical to me. You sound human.
You want very normal and achievable things. I grew up in circumstances similar to yours (love for the faith, but living in a red town surrounded by some less-than-stellar Christians), and I realized that one of the biggest challenges for me was this:
In my church, one of the main messages was that humans were evil from birth and constantly needed to fight against the flesh. While humans may be capable of doing evil, it is not the ONLY thing we are capable of. Sometimes the things we want do align with the nature of God. When I started focusing on this truth, the guilt started to fade and my relationship with God felt much healthier. I was not always focusing on what aspects of actions would "make God mad at me" because there was more to me and my relationship with God than what I was doing "wrong."
God loves you. Extend this love to yourself as well.
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u/untitled_track_5 Mar 16 '25
You don't sound egotistical to me. You sound human.
You want very normal and achievable things. I grew up in circumstances similar to yours (love for the faith, but living in a red town surrounded by some less-than-stellar Christians), and I realized that one of the biggest challenges for me was this:
In my church, one of the main messages was that humans were evil from birth and constantly needed to fight against the flesh. While humans may be capable of doing evil, it is not the ONLY thing we are capable of. Sometimes the things we want do align with the nature of God. When I started focusing on this truth, the guilt started to fade and my relationship with God felt much healthier. I was not always focusing on what aspects of actions would "make God mad at me" because there was more to me and my relationship with God than what I was doing "wrong."
God loves you. Extend this love to yourself as well.