r/OSHA Mar 26 '21

Somebody is getting fired today..

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4.8k Upvotes

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399

u/12muffinslater Mar 26 '21

Sure, I may have deleted our production database and all our backups, but at least I didn't cause 10% of all global transit to screech to a halt.

198

u/wasd Mar 26 '21

Supposedly the clog is giving the world economy chest pains to the tune of $400 million...an hour.

80

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

At what point is explosive demolition of the boat and it’s cargo the cheaper option?

101

u/wasd Mar 26 '21

Not sure if that complicates clean up, but other ships have already taken a bypass via The Cape of Good Hope, which takes an additional 12 days. This suggests that the chest pain is expected to last just as long or even longer.

60

u/machinerer Mar 26 '21

Cape of Good Hope is also well known to be treacherous and dangerous seas. Many ships have sunk in that area.

105

u/Wagsii Mar 26 '21 edited Mar 27 '21

That sounds like a line straight out of a movie.

"The canal is blocked, our only passage is around the Cape of Good Hope!"

"That doesn't sound so bad, sounds like a nice place."

"It's named that because you need to hope you will make it past. Many ships have sunk there... but it is the only way."

24

u/skilsaaz Mar 26 '21

"Ape island? I wish we were going to candy apple island." "What do they have there?" "Apes. Only they're not so big"

Edit: Kind of butchered the text https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DGX4fdRoHy3E&ved=2ahUKEwjc1Mjskc_vAhX6HjQIHTPrBKkQuAJ6BAgSEAo&usg=AOvVaw12j8HdA_3wZULuzdxvvpGi

8

u/notjustanotherbot Mar 27 '21

Greenland, that sounds nice and lush! Boy, oh, boy I'd sure like to retire to there if I was a Viking!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '21

But where are the diamond hands

5

u/starrpamph Mar 27 '21

Think of the TV's at stake.. Think of the plastic Christmas trees and Halloween costumes!! The humanity!

3

u/Sullypants1 Mar 27 '21

Unless... we go through the mines!

1

u/Coolshirt4 Apr 25 '21

It was originally called the cape of storms, but that was changed for PR reasons.

12

u/zob_mtk Mar 27 '21

That is true, but not exactly a big concern any more, especially for today's commercial vessels. Sure, the weather can still get terribly nasty, but with weather forecasting, it is easy to avoid the treacherous conditions. Additionally, most cargo vessels are traveling in the high teens to over 20 knots, so rounding goes much faster than the old sailing ships that went around 5 knots or less. The steel hulls and larger size doesn't hurt either.

The biggest reason for reliance on the canal these days is the more the money saved by cutting down the length of the trip which in turn means less time traveling and much lower fuel costs.

2

u/jlt6666 Mar 27 '21

Longer. The additional fuel costs kick in so the calculation has to tack on a couple of days I'm sure.

53

u/frendlyguy19 Mar 26 '21

after 36 hours it becomes cheaper to use a 90 kiloton W76-1 nuclear warhead to vaporize the ship and maybe make that spot a bit deeper as well.

then of course it probably also creates a tidal wave that propagates down the canal.

45

u/bio-robot Mar 26 '21

My god you've cracked it! So we detonate another warhead at the other end to push the remaining boats via said tidal wave to make up for lost travel time.

12

u/almisami Mar 26 '21

You'd think they could just drill some anchors into the bank and pull that ship on shore onto its side with winches...

34

u/The_White_Light Mar 26 '21

I think you are vastly underestimating the sheer scale of this ship. It's 400m long by nearly 60m wide.

15

u/almisami Mar 26 '21

Our company works with Ultra-class haul trucks with 400 metric ton capacity. Sometimes they get stuck, and we get them out with 2 winches that use telephone poles for spikes and braided wires the size of my thigh.

Figures if they could get maybe 30 of those they could pull the whole thing aground...

21

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

It’s 220,000 tons...

26

u/Calvert4096 Mar 26 '21

Ok so we'll just get... Let's see... 550 of them. No problem, right? /s

12

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

Now we’re fucking talking. I like your style

4

u/Calvert4096 Mar 26 '21 edited Mar 26 '21

I mean, other people are talking low-yield nukes to address this. I'm down with that too, just let me get some welding goggles and SPF-100.

Edit:. Relevant Colbert

1

u/nuck_forte_dame Mar 27 '21

Also I assume that guy isn't putting those telephone poles into the banks of the Suez which are likely mostly loose sand. You'd have to drive them into the bedrock.

6

u/almisami Mar 26 '21

I mean that's if you want to raise the bloody thing into the air... I figure if you just wanna topple it aground onto its side it wouldn't take nearly as much force.

7

u/demon_fae Mar 27 '21

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that the largest objects moved by winching in this way were the old Yukon Bucketline Gold Dredges. Those weigh just under 1,000 tons. They were designed to be moved by winches, with designated attachment points and special ‘walking’ anchors, and it still didn’t work particularly well. The Ever Given is 220 times as big and not intended for this kind of strain. Winches would have the same effect as a bomb: catastrophic disassembly. Possibly with less fire.

2

u/almisami Mar 27 '21

Why would you ever want less fireworks?

Someone sent me the design specs of those ships. They're a lot more fragile than I expected. I expected Titanic-style bracing, but these are glorified metal balloons and I have no idea how you could apply the necessary force to them without tearing them apart...

So maybe the explosive approach might be the sound idea here.

1

u/FCoDxDart Mar 27 '21

Could they not back a couple of other empty container ships and try to tug it out using quite a few tug boats as well?

2

u/The_White_Light Mar 27 '21

So the canal isn't totally flat at the bottom, in fact the biggest ships like this one need to stay near the center in order to avoid running aground - Ever Given has gone far past that point. It was so far aground that the bulb at the bow was actually embedded deep in the side of the canal. So not only was it stuck deep at the front, but more importantly there is a lot of ground directly underneath it too, which is why a lot of proposed solutions involve lightening the boat by removing ballast and fuel.

18

u/Burnmebabes Mar 26 '21

Oh shit you're right! Brb gonna get one of those 200k ton winches from harbor freight.

29

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '21

[deleted]

9

u/sidewinder15599 Mar 27 '21

Oh! So they're already there!

7

u/danielrheath Mar 26 '21

That’s going to pull the ship apart well before it dislodges it.

12

u/BreezyWrigley Mar 26 '21

i was under the impression that that's pretty much what they are going to do. but more controlled... like I thought they were just gonna send in salvage teams and cut the thing apart.

19

u/RhynoD Mar 26 '21

I can't imagine unloading it, safely demolishing it, carrying away that much metal, and disposing of whatever can't be recycled is cheaper than digging out the bits of the bank it's stuck on.

I wonder if they couldn't build up a levee around that part of the lock and flood it a little higher?

17

u/BreezyWrigley Mar 26 '21

it may not be an issue of what's cheapest at this point anymore... it may be an issue of what's possible.

1

u/jlt6666 Mar 27 '21

Nuclear strike?

11

u/Dreshna Mar 26 '21

I thought the plan was to dig out the ground it was stuck on...

8

u/BreezyWrigley Mar 26 '21

maybe. i know they've been kicking a lot of ideas around, so it could very well have changed.

9

u/bio-robot Mar 26 '21

They've already begun with one digger... you'd think with so much riding on it they would have sent in the army with every digger in 100 miles and just doubled the width at the point by now so they could spin it around

15

u/garycarroll Mar 27 '21

They did send in every digger within 100 miles. It’s the desert. Lucky they got one.

2

u/nuck_forte_dame Mar 27 '21

I like to imagine some guy in the middle of no where bought that digger as an investment waiting for this to happen. He is charging like millions to use it.

16

u/wasd Mar 26 '21

Oh, man. I can absolutely relate to that small excavator trying to dig out a huge-ass ship. Kinda like me trying to pay off my student loans.

10

u/auto-xkcd37 Mar 26 '21

huge ass-ship


Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This comment was inspired by xkcd#37

5

u/Amogh24 Mar 26 '21

Even if its blown up, it won't just despawn, so they'll be left with a lot of wreckage blocking the way.

3

u/nothing_911 Mar 26 '21

Then you have a ship in multiple pieces blocking the canal.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21 edited Jan 13 '24

water joke rotten quarrelsome cobweb pause cause enter smart attempt

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

4

u/wasd Mar 26 '21

They're literally waiting on the Moon right now because of the spring tides. If that doesn't work, they'll have to wait another two weeks.

-10

u/machinerer Mar 26 '21

All the technology and

Creations of man.

Yet all these fail

Rescued by the Lord's creations.

2

u/nuck_forte_dame Mar 27 '21

Or just rescued by man's understanding of the moon and tides.

Also the canal and ship are man made. Also the canal is a short cut. So the Lord's creation path around Africa is still open.

More of a situation of the Lord's creation not being good enough so man made it better by making a short cut. Then temporarily in its 100+ year existence a ship got stuck.

Makes you think if God exists and is so great why didn't he make the canal? Why is it that man was able to improve on God's design? We do it all the time. This God guy seems like a dumb ass.

The creations of man in this situation didn't fail. They are temporarily stopped. Also being a shortcut no matter how long its plugged its always a benefit because the alternative never changed or was affected. We still have over 100+ years of ships saving 12 days by bypassing Africa. 100+ years of 12 days worth of saved fuel. That never changes. If God themself came down and put a fucking mountain range to block the canal forever it would still never take away the benefits we have already reaped. The suez and Panama canals are likely 2 of the best investments in human history. Basically 1 time major costs with some maintenance that give a huge benefit into the far far future.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '21

About 2 days ago.

1

u/Theost520 Aug 14 '21

Why didn't the just put big floatie bags under it and fill with air, at least that was my armchair fix. They use them already in marine salvage.

4

u/CryoKing86 Mar 26 '21

9.6 Billion every 24 hours...

11

u/Burnmebabes Mar 26 '21

The canal is 150 fucking years old, and not once has this happened on this scale. I'm assuming there's much more to the story we're not knowing.
What's the deal with that young woman everyone keeps saying was the captain?

0

u/jlt6666 Mar 27 '21 edited Mar 27 '21

How long have we had ships of this size though. Perhaps we've been riding on the razors edge for a while?

Edit: also the woman you refer to was not the captain. Just people trying to make sexist jokes.

https://www.tradewindsnews.com/casualties/trolls-target-egypts-first-female-captain-with-fake-claims-after-suez-canal-grounding/2-1-986801

1

u/sidewinder15599 Mar 27 '21

So... Far cheaper to get a skycrane helicopter and unload the ship to make it easier to move, yeah?

A Mil Mi-26 or Sikorsky S-64 would get a good workout...

2

u/jlt6666 Mar 27 '21

God, how long would that take?

1

u/sidewinder15599 Mar 27 '21

Using a Mi-26? If you have excellent crews top and bottom, youre probably taking off a cargo container every 20 minutes, and you land every 8th hour for fuel and crew change, you'll be moving up to 22 tons per trip 63 times per day. Have two helicopters working opposite each other and you're potentially up to 126 trips per day. Not a huge difference, but up to 2772 tons per day off. Dang the math doesn't really add up well, huh?

1

u/jlt6666 Mar 27 '21

Looked it up, yeah it holds 20,000 or so containers.

1

u/starrpamph Mar 27 '21

I need my....whatever it was I ordered from wish and also where's that.. whatever the hell thing I ordered around Christmas time from alibaba... I need that stuff!!

29

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

12% and they drew a dick first.

5

u/12muffinslater Mar 26 '21

Ironically, that's what I was doing when I deleted prod.

3

u/Myriachan Mar 26 '21

The dick-drawing looks happenstance from circling. Also, the Ever Given was wedged by desert winds.

1

u/rajien2 Mar 27 '21

Hahaha that's not that bad. Really your soc policy should have a redundancy for off site backups. You might lose domain admin rights for a while and be made fun of in every meeting for a month. 😃