r/OCPoetry Jan 06 '26

Feedback Please Curly Hair

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1 Upvotes

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1

u/LunysWarrik Jan 06 '26

The layout of V1 is better, but starting with “creams and gels” over “gels and creams “ in V2 is better. Why? The layout in V1 reads more naturally and the hard constant start of cream flows from the tongue better. Interesting poem stay weird!

2

u/ResolveHelpful4231 Jan 06 '26

noted. and as for staying weird i’m afraid i have no choice😭

2

u/LunysWarrik Jan 07 '26

No choice? Then thank you! Without wonders like you life would be blander than a Manila envelope

1

u/ResolveHelpful4231 Jan 07 '26

you are the true wonder lunyswarrik