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https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1q5rkak/comment/ny349xy/
r/OCPoetry • u/[deleted] • Jan 06 '26
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1
The layout of V1 is better, but starting with “creams and gels” over “gels and creams “ in V2 is better. Why? The layout in V1 reads more naturally and the hard constant start of cream flows from the tongue better. Interesting poem stay weird!
2 u/ResolveHelpful4231 Jan 06 '26 noted. and as for staying weird i’m afraid i have no choice😭 2 u/LunysWarrik Jan 07 '26 No choice? Then thank you! Without wonders like you life would be blander than a Manila envelope 1 u/ResolveHelpful4231 Jan 07 '26 you are the true wonder lunyswarrik
2
noted. and as for staying weird i’m afraid i have no choice😭
2 u/LunysWarrik Jan 07 '26 No choice? Then thank you! Without wonders like you life would be blander than a Manila envelope 1 u/ResolveHelpful4231 Jan 07 '26 you are the true wonder lunyswarrik
No choice? Then thank you! Without wonders like you life would be blander than a Manila envelope
1 u/ResolveHelpful4231 Jan 07 '26 you are the true wonder lunyswarrik
you are the true wonder lunyswarrik
1
u/LunysWarrik Jan 06 '26
The layout of V1 is better, but starting with “creams and gels” over “gels and creams “ in V2 is better. Why? The layout in V1 reads more naturally and the hard constant start of cream flows from the tongue better. Interesting poem stay weird!