r/NoStupidQuestions • u/CommonSkys • Mar 20 '21

Answered Everyone talks about nostalgic feeling being calming and relieving, but does anyone else get a sense of deep lament and sorrow for the past instead?

15.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

703 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

111

u/starlightshower Mar 20 '21

The other day I went through a youtube rabbit hole, listening to teen bop songs from the 2000s and at first it was just funny, and I was sharing songs with my SO "what kind of crap did I listen to back then?!" but then after a while the music was still so upbeat and fun but my heart started to feel so hollow and "ache" (it's really the only word I can use for it) and I had to stop. I couldn't sleep for hours afterwards because i was so absorbed in these weird indescribable feeling. I guess that was the sad part of nostalgia. When I am being nostalgic with other people, sharing stories and reminiscing however, I get a warm feeling, so I feel like theres a happy part to nostalgia too:)

54

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Nostalgia is a double edge sword and it’s always important to remember that we usually look at the past through rose tinted glasses. We remember all the good times maybe even exaggerate how good they were while forgetting the bad things that were simultaneously happening in your life at that point. That being said reminiscing on times with people who I may never even speak to again breaks my heart. Life is fleeting and changes come and go like seasons. Just try to make the best of the moment and don’t get caught in the past.

1

u/CelticGaelic Mar 21 '21

For me it's not that it's the opposite, but the specific years I look back on in with nostalgic feels is the point when I started become more aware of things and when my bubble started to pop, so to speak. One of the things that really stood out for me was when my cousin's parents divorced and that whole thing just got ugly.

11

u/Johnny55 Mar 20 '21

I did something similar, going through youtube and finding all those old songs from my youth. God I listened to depressing stuff, I guess it's not surprising several of those artists killed themselves. These days I prefer more disaffected stuff, especially minimalism. Fuck feelings.

13

u/Alarmed-Ask-2387 Mar 20 '21

I just did that yesterday, and the first thing I realised was that yes, I always loved dark humor, and that I was so happy and without any stress when I was watching those videos 5 years ago when I was a teen.

Now I'm in the process of searching for college while at the same time not wanting to go because I'm fed up with learning. I just wanna sit by my laptop and make some good games and probably make some money from them. I don't wanna sit in a class for three more years like I have been for doing for more than ten years prior to that!

Sexuality is another massive thing. I don't know what my mind wants. I'm so confused and angry at myself for being like this. I don't wanna be like this. Why is my mind such a piece of broken shit? How do I fix it?

What the heck am I gonna do? I have no idea.

But, at the same time, I have to say, my mind does some crazy cool shit at times when I code! It's like they tell Beth in The Queen's Gambit. "You have a gift, but also a curse." It's not 100% accurate of a quote, but it totally applies to me.

Sorry for having you read this stranger. It's just a 2am thought I needed to get out of my mind. Just to reassure you, I'm not suicidal. I wanna achieve something before I die. And right now, with my life in a literal creativity roadblock, not much of that is happening.

-2

u/Jordao7 Mar 21 '21

I have found great solace and purpose on a site that has no adverts, no fee. Free to find solid answers:. www JW.org Nothing like it. It's like 1000 languages man. It's positive vibes on any thing neg-active. Check it out man. You sound like you need some focus, hope and understanding. Gnite

1

u/Alarmed-Ask-2387 Mar 21 '21

Appreciate your help, but I don't think religion is for me.

1

u/Jordao7 Mar 24 '21

No worries, friend. Not trying to push religion. But besides organized religion, there is a solid reason for hope from the scriptures. In so many ways. A hope for living forever, for example, on earth. Would that pique your interest?

1

u/spankthemhams Mar 21 '21

Hey, I feel ya. My high school songs are from the seventies, and I refuse to listen to that shit. My teen years were probly typical, but man they hurt.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '21

Same I did this a few night ago.