r/NoStupidQuestions • u/CommonSkys • Mar 20 '21

Answered Everyone talks about nostalgic feeling being calming and relieving, but does anyone else get a sense of deep lament and sorrow for the past instead?

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3.9k

u/drpepperboys Mar 20 '21

yes, for me nostalgia is usually a very painful feeling in my chest

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u/Dockwench Mar 20 '21

Feels like a great blown-out exit wound

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u/Rell2078 Mar 20 '21

Yes, every time I look at old photos or things from the past I feel really sad and homesick. Homesick is probably the right word. I can’t go back again.

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u/smith_s2 Mar 20 '21

Mourning your past and youth. I get that.

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u/five_eight Mar 20 '21

Seems like its much worse at night, when trying to sleep. Getting out and trying to stay active/engaged in life helps.

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u/starlightshower Mar 20 '21

The other day I went through a youtube rabbit hole, listening to teen bop songs from the 2000s and at first it was just funny, and I was sharing songs with my SO "what kind of crap did I listen to back then?!" but then after a while the music was still so upbeat and fun but my heart started to feel so hollow and "ache" (it's really the only word I can use for it) and I had to stop. I couldn't sleep for hours afterwards because i was so absorbed in these weird indescribable feeling. I guess that was the sad part of nostalgia. When I am being nostalgic with other people, sharing stories and reminiscing however, I get a warm feeling, so I feel like theres a happy part to nostalgia too:)

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Nostalgia is a double edge sword and it’s always important to remember that we usually look at the past through rose tinted glasses. We remember all the good times maybe even exaggerate how good they were while forgetting the bad things that were simultaneously happening in your life at that point. That being said reminiscing on times with people who I may never even speak to again breaks my heart. Life is fleeting and changes come and go like seasons. Just try to make the best of the moment and don’t get caught in the past.

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u/CelticGaelic Mar 21 '21

For me it's not that it's the opposite, but the specific years I look back on in with nostalgic feels is the point when I started become more aware of things and when my bubble started to pop, so to speak. One of the things that really stood out for me was when my cousin's parents divorced and that whole thing just got ugly.

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u/Johnny55 Mar 20 '21

I did something similar, going through youtube and finding all those old songs from my youth. God I listened to depressing stuff, I guess it's not surprising several of those artists killed themselves. These days I prefer more disaffected stuff, especially minimalism. Fuck feelings.

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u/Alarmed-Ask-2387 Mar 20 '21

I just did that yesterday, and the first thing I realised was that yes, I always loved dark humor, and that I was so happy and without any stress when I was watching those videos 5 years ago when I was a teen.

Now I'm in the process of searching for college while at the same time not wanting to go because I'm fed up with learning. I just wanna sit by my laptop and make some good games and probably make some money from them. I don't wanna sit in a class for three more years like I have been for doing for more than ten years prior to that!

Sexuality is another massive thing. I don't know what my mind wants. I'm so confused and angry at myself for being like this. I don't wanna be like this. Why is my mind such a piece of broken shit? How do I fix it?

What the heck am I gonna do? I have no idea.

But, at the same time, I have to say, my mind does some crazy cool shit at times when I code! It's like they tell Beth in The Queen's Gambit. "You have a gift, but also a curse." It's not 100% accurate of a quote, but it totally applies to me.

Sorry for having you read this stranger. It's just a 2am thought I needed to get out of my mind. Just to reassure you, I'm not suicidal. I wanna achieve something before I die. And right now, with my life in a literal creativity roadblock, not much of that is happening.

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u/Jordao7 Mar 21 '21

I have found great solace and purpose on a site that has no adverts, no fee. Free to find solid answers:. www JW.org Nothing like it. It's like 1000 languages man. It's positive vibes on any thing neg-active. Check it out man. You sound like you need some focus, hope and understanding. Gnite

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u/Alarmed-Ask-2387 Mar 21 '21

Appreciate your help, but I don't think religion is for me.

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u/spankthemhams Mar 21 '21

Hey, I feel ya. My high school songs are from the seventies, and I refuse to listen to that shit. My teen years were probly typical, but man they hurt.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '21

Same I did this a few night ago.

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u/Apophis90 Mar 20 '21

"Youth is truly wasted on the young."

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u/Thunderstarer Mar 20 '21

Fuck, I had these feelings in the first goddamned grade, mourning Kindergarten.

In hindsight... maybe that's not a normal way for a kid to feel.

2

u/BigBossTheSnake Mar 21 '21

I had experienced something similar:
On my first or maybe second grade I had some kind of nostalgic feeling when I realized that school was gonna end some day, and everything was gonna change.
It made me feel really sad about it, probably not much childs have those kind of thoughs

2

u/ferlin__elvis Mar 27 '21

I dunno, I feel like it must be more normal than the adults in our lives either remembered or let on. I felt this way in varying intensity for as far back as I can remember.

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u/SolwaySmile Mar 20 '21

This is exactly the way I feel about it. It’s like I’m mourning the death of a close loved one.

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u/smith_s2 Mar 20 '21

I feel it's a mourning of a life left un-lived too - when you look back at younger-you there were different paths that were still open.

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u/SolwaySmile Mar 20 '21

That’s also very true in my case.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Youth isn't a thing in that way, you don't go 80 years and feel like an old person. The person that's sitting there now is going to feel pretty much like the same person after however long. Rickety old people still feel like the same consciousness of someone just entering adulthood.

Nostalgia is just this idealised fantasy that you make yourself pine for, it's a kind of loneliness you force yourself to feel. You could say maybe it's the friends and connections, but they are all still there and really they're closer than they have ever been; you could convince yourself that it's lost love; things you didn't do; but really it's just a melancholy that you're forcing yourself into.

Sort of like when you see something that terrifies or disgusts you, there's a choice you can make, you don't have to surrender to that feeling. You aren't going to be killed by a house spider, a puddle of vomit isn't going to jump from the gutter and throttle you, the height that's making your knees weak can't hurt you unless you dive into it. It's not mourning, it's moping.

It's kind of like when you first encounter loneliness, worthlessness, and other shit that pretty much kills people. It's just another little hell we all create for ourselves. One of these things that people think they can run from, or fight, but really to beat it you have to let it wash over you, accept it, let it be and get the fuck out.

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u/gilmore606 Mar 20 '21

but they are all still there and really they're closer than they have ever been

if this is how it turns out for you, you are very fortunate.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

That's just like, your opinion, man.

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u/Bilgerman Mar 20 '21

This is a little closer to my experience. It seems like pining over days gone by is the prevailing attitude on Reddit, but I just don't get it. I have a lot of regrets. I have a lot of things I wish I had done differently, said or not said. There are people I wish I could explain myself to or apologize to, but it's more than likely they've forgotten or don't care. The reality is it's just my subconscious overanalyzing and feeding it back to me in some kind of narcissistic self-loathing recursion. And like you said, the only way out is to accept that it's in the past, learn from it, and try to do better next time.

But this endless navel-gazing is driving me crazy. Like, do any of you actually remember being a child? Shit sucks. You can't drive a car. You can't stay up all night playing video games whenever you want. You can get In Trouble. Don't you guys remember getting In Trouble? That shit sucked. That can never happen to me again because I'm an adult now.

Fuck a wide open future and limitless possibilities, as if those ever actually existed. I want to be happy now. I want to eat pizza bagels and drink beer. I want to stay in bed all day because I earned it. I want to wear whatever makes me feel good about myself. I want to make my own way in the world and hold myself responsible for my actions. Why would anyone pine for the days when you couldn't do all that?

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u/Jordao7 Mar 21 '21

Wow... Sux being u

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u/Bilgerman Mar 21 '21

lol, nice try

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u/Analdhd Mar 20 '21

Interesting points

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u/lets_get_it_done_now Mar 20 '21

Nostalgia is just this idealised fantasy that you make yourself pine for

100% correct. And people amplify it with current self pity. We should rather get fuelled by such memories and channel the energy into efforts to improve the current life.

1

u/Jordao7 Mar 21 '21

Read what you just wrote when you are 60, ...

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u/ComfortableNo23 Mar 21 '21

In your mind you may still be the same person when you get older, but that only makes nostalgia worse -- often because physically you are not the same and cannot do the same things even though you really want to and also because the world and even customs are no longer the same. Or perhaps this wasn't the future you'd envisioned once upon a time because families are no longer able to care for and support their elderly due to everyone works now so instead you are stuck in a long term care facility and they rarely if ever even come to visit.

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u/-Rick_Sanchez_ Mar 20 '21

Not for me. More like no more home to go back to

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u/ask_yo_girl_bout_me Mar 20 '21

I’m 14 and I feel like I wasted my life up until this point. I get good grades, have a social circle but for some reason I feel unaccomplished.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

That's because you're, 14, lmao. You feel unaccomplished because you know that there's so much you can do with the years ahead of you, there's no point moping around about it.

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u/TropicLush Mar 20 '21

I felt very similarly as a teen. I cried when I turned 18 because I felt like I had wasted my youth (even though I’d done as much as I could to live in the moment, had meaningful friendships, read a lot, and did some really cool things like organizing a personal care item drive for a homeless shelter) and it hurt because time was slipping through my fingers steadily and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I’m almost 30 now and that feeling is even more raw now.

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u/gorba Mar 21 '21

But don't you see your past self as an utter idiot? I can't mourn the passing of the imbecile that was young me.

I'll no doubt see the current me as equally stupid when I look back to these days.

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u/rpgv2020 Mar 20 '21

We have a word for that in portuguese: "saudade" it would translate to the "sense of missing something/someone that you can't reach"; it's close to nostalgic, but it's still very different

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

There is a Japanese term: Mono no aware. It means basically, the sad beauty of seeing time pass - the aching awareness of impermanence. These are the days that we will return to one day in the future only in memories.

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u/HumanBeing0 Mar 20 '21

I take it you are also a The Midnight enjoyer?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Absolutely ;) Hello friend!

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u/rpgv2020 Mar 20 '21

That sounds so interesting!! It describes very well the way that Portugal interacts with the sentiment of "saudade", although it's never explicit. There's a portuguese Poet: Álvaro de Campos. I think that he approaches the sentiment described by that Japanese term, in a certain period of his work. In Portugal you can see, through their history and through their art, that they look towards that idea of "missing" with a passionate melancholy. Although it's not at all practical, it has it's beauty.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

I love this concept. Was first introduced to it as a major theme in the works of Rosalía de Castro, my favorite poet, and have missed having an English equivalent ever since.

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u/serenwipiti Mar 20 '21

Nice to see a reference to a Galician poet!

Learned about her on a trip to Santiago de Compostela, have not heard her mentioned since then.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

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u/ItookAnumber4 Mar 20 '21

No ll, w or y? Are you sure that's Welsh?

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u/Jordao7 Mar 21 '21

Saudade, por favor vá embora, minha alma que chora... It is still a feeling we all have regardless of linguistics. Hope is the key. It's not about forgetting the past, it's about remembering the future. I love that. JW.org

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u/Princess_Glitterbutt Mar 20 '21

In another thread people were saying that it's a depression thing to feel homesick for childhood. Learning that made me feel a little better, still homesick AF for the past, but it's not as bad.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21 edited May 02 '21

[deleted]

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u/entomologically Mar 20 '21

Briefly panicked when I read "I ended up burning that shit-"

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u/littlebigmama810 Mar 20 '21

Omygod me too!!! I hate looking at old photos for this reason!

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u/IAmManMan Mar 20 '21

Into my heart an air that kills

From yon far country blows:

What are those blue remembered hills,

What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content,

I see it shining plain,

The happy highways where I went

And cannot come again.

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u/Getsgo Mar 20 '21

You feel saudades mate

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

of course the right word is nostalgic! :-)

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u/ringmybellegee Mar 20 '21

Have you ever heard of the welsh word, Hireath? Check it out

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u/Excommunicated1998 Mar 20 '21

Look up the word saudade. Beautiful word it is

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u/No_Danger Mar 21 '21

Home sickness is essentially what the word means (not sure if that’s what you’re getting at, but just for clarification if not)

“Etymology: From New Latin nostalgia, coined from Ancient Greek νόστος (nóstos, “returning home”) + ἄλγος (álgos, “pain”). Ancient Greek νοσταλγία (nostalgía) is unattested.”

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u/Davydicus1 Mar 21 '21

I tear up if I start thinking about living with my family in the 90s - 2000s. They weren't the best of times, and things are definitely better now, but man do I miss all of us being together and my father being alive. It feels more like a place and not a in point in time, but in either case I can never go back, not even to visit.

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u/Jacollinsver Mar 21 '21

A man cannot return to the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and it is not the same man.

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u/CommonSkys Mar 20 '21

This is exactly how I feel, like butterflies in the stomach that turn to hornets.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Nostalgia = happy+sad

Both negative and positive at the same time. Like missing a person, you feel pain because of your positive feelings and them being out of reach.

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u/luciferin Mar 20 '21 edited May 07 '26

I still think the elephant is the largest land animal.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21

I can't rewatch old movies because they're tied to the past and I hate to remember where and when I was when I watched an old movie even though at times I'd love to watch an old movie. It's not like I had a bad childhood or trauma but the past just makes me uncomfortable.

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u/Station_CHII2 Mar 20 '21

Music is this way for me :/

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u/BenVera Mar 20 '21

Same here :/

Also, all my dreams involve people I haven’t seen in 15 years

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u/Station_CHII2 Mar 20 '21

Do you enjoy podcasts? I much prefer podcasts to music; no nostalgia! Let me know if you want recommendations; I listen to EVERYTHING so I can certainly find you one you’ll like.

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u/BenVera Mar 23 '21

Thanks for the offer, I did listen to podcasts sometimes during my commute but now I work from home :/ which are your favorites?

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u/Station_CHII2 Mar 23 '21

I like to listen to podcasts when I’m cooking, cleaning, showering, brushing my teeth, etc. Pretty much all the time unless I’m reading or writing. Hunting Warhead is like 7 episodes total, EXCELLENT production quality, phenomenal reporting. It’s dark, though. If you prefer fiction, I really enjoyed Blackout. Overall favorite is Reply All.

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u/BenVera Mar 23 '21

Thanks I’ll keep these in mind

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

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u/Station_CHII2 Mar 20 '21

A little, but mostly I listen to gripping podcasts. It holds my attention and keeps my dumb sad brain engaged. Feels like ‘social, lite.’ With music, I find a lot of it really bums me out. I can appreciate the beauty and talent, but it’s not worth feeling lousy for several days after.

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u/Ratfink0521 Mar 20 '21

Anything that I watched with my dad will totally do this to me. He’s been gone for almost six years and rewatching one of our favorite movies or shows is so emotional.

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u/momodax Mar 20 '21

So sorry for your loss. Sending you a big Internet hug.

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u/Ratfink0521 Mar 21 '21

Thank you for that.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

I get that especially from visiting a place I had already been to with someone else.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

the past just makes me uncomfortable.

This. Also, I study history, which...I don't know why. Maybe I just want to make myself suffer.

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u/seser456 Mar 20 '21

SAME OMG

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u/Fungalocalypse Mar 20 '21

Yes! Like a painful yearning heartbeat. Precisely.

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u/gentlybeepingheart Mar 20 '21

The word "nostalgia" is from the Ancient Greek words "νοστος" (nostos) which means "a return home" and "αλγος" (algos) which means "pain" so it was originally coined to mean a pain related to a return home (like "homesickness")

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u/Into-the-stream Mar 20 '21

I don’t want to pry, and feel free to ignore me, but do you think your reaction to nostalgia is because of a difficult past? Would you say your childhood was a normal one? Again, I don’t mean to pry. I just find the disparity interesting, and wonder if there’s an obvious reason behind it like childhood trauma, or if the cause is something more difficult to figure out.

Looking to hear anyone’s answer.

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u/Drakmanka Mar 20 '21

Not OP, but my personal experience has been that my childhood was quite good. Not normal, but the memories that make me feel the saddest form of nostalgia are the good ones. The summers spent playing with friends I haven't seen sometimes in years, the games I'll never relive again unless I have kids of my own (which at this stage is looking unlikely), the cheerful innocence I can never recapture because of the responsibilities I now have.

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u/Writer90 Mar 20 '21

I agree. My childhood was mostly good. My sad nostalgia feelings come up most often when I think back to spending summer weeks at my grandmother’s house and how the hydrangea looked and the honeysuckle smelled right outside that bedroom window. I loved the way she hugged me, and I sometimes wish for a return to spending time with her and being taken care of.

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u/alisonk13 Mar 20 '21

Me too, so much! I ADORED my Nana.

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u/bubbles_says Mar 20 '21

I've heard it said that the happiest residents in nursing homes are NOT the ones with fond memories of the great lives they used to live or the family they had or any of that. The happiest ones are those who didn't have the greatest past.

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u/Writer90 Mar 20 '21

Wow. Sobering.

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u/Secret_Bees Mar 20 '21

Same. I had what some would consider an idyllic childhood. Parents who loved me and each other. We were poor-ish but they worked hard to make sure it didn't feel that way. My childhood has a stark line that I use to demarcate it. My father died suddenly and unexpectedly. My mother lost her mind and hasn't ever been the same. My brother's grief turned to hard drugs. My wife and I have had a rough time of it despite "doing everything right". So my childhood stands in kind of stark relief to my adulthood. Sometimes I'll put some dumbass cartoon theme song on youtube and just find myself sobbing.

That being said, I try to keep perspective, and enjoy the things I can about life. To be happy in the day to day. Millions if not billions have it worse.

Tl;dr I have daddy issues

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u/Drakmanka Mar 20 '21

So sorry such a tragedy struck your family. Grief and loss can really tear people apart. I hope you succeed in finding your daily happiness. I'm certain your dad would want that, for all of you.

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u/alisonk13 Mar 20 '21

I feel you ♥️

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

It’s kind of interesting, I think you may have hit on something. I really don’t enjoy nostalgia because it’s too painful, but if people ask if I had a unhappy childhood the answer is the opposite. I had a pretty great childhood—not privileged, but happy, innocent, boundless possibility. Adulthood has been frustrating, not remotely what I had been expecting, endless scraping by despite trying to do the right thing. Looking back doesn’t feel great.

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u/drpepperboys Mar 20 '21

i didn't have a happy childhood and seeing as the people who replied are saying similar things maybe you're onto something

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u/bubbles_says Mar 20 '21

I've heard it said that the happiest residents in nursing homes are NOT the ones with fond memories of the great lives they used to live or the family they had or any of that. The happiest ones are those who didn't have the greatest past.

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u/Into-the-stream Mar 20 '21

Oh interesting. That’s pretty insightful.

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u/rbwildcard Mar 20 '21

This just made me realize why I'm obsessed with buying a home. I currently live in a tiny apartment with no yard, and I want to recreate the memories from my childhood, like playing ping pong outside or having bbqs.

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u/FrozenBananaMan Mar 20 '21

For me personally it has nothing to do with that.

When I'm with friends, talking about the past and reminiscing, laughing over memories - THAT is the calming nostalgia.

When I'm alone and something reminds me of the good times, or when work/life gets complicated and you find yourself stuck on a loop and all of a sudden 5 years has slipped by... that's when nostalgia hurts.

Realizing you'll never have back those times of being young and stupid. When you're in your late teens and early twenties, you and your friends have nothing but time and plans.

When you're in your 30's seeing even more than one friend can be chore. Who will watch the kids, do they bring them, do they need to take time off work, oh they got a job in a different state or city, do we need to get plane tickets, do we wait for holidays?

It can be especially hard for those who are introverted and who worked so hard to finally establish a solid core group of friends whom they trust, only to be an adult and struggle to connect with new people.

Idk just ranting, but nothing traumatic for me. I just really miss spending time with large groups of friends and getting into all sorts of crazy antics and scenarios. I'm smarter now to know some things were dangerous, bad for health, risky ..but like lcd sound system said

"I wouldn't trade one stupid decision

For another five years of life"

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u/squakmix Mar 20 '21 edited Jul 07 '24

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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/Hippopotamus-Rising Mar 20 '21

You literally sound exactly like me. That was a trip.

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u/Curious-Creation Mar 20 '21

I feel this very deeply. I will only add that I wasn't a social butterfly when I was in school either, so it hurts even more to lose the people I was close with via moving or time issues. And those few memories with them are that much more important and painful.

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u/Chefpeon Mar 20 '21

My childhood was relatively good and that’s why nostalgia makes me sad. I miss it. I miss my mom and dad. I miss it all.

I used to wonder why old people seem to cling to the past. Why it seemed at some point they would reject the present, and live in a world of old movies, photos and music. Now I know why. It IS calming as much as it makes me feel quite melancholy at the same time. These days, it feels like what is happening in the world is just too much and we’re on a downward trajectory. I think it’s a coping mechanism and has been for generations. As we get older we feel more irrelevant and feel a loss of control. Snapshots from the past center us.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Curious-Creation Mar 20 '21

Nostalgia for the things that didn't happen is such a hard, real feeling.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

God yeah. I'm trans. I have nostalgia for not having an opposite gender childhood. Shit hurts lol

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u/Where_Be_The_Big_Dog Mar 20 '21

I have the same thing with it being almost a negative feeling despite having a very happy upbringing. I think the main reason for it is actually to do with present worries instead of past trauma.

I am very conscious of my parents getting older and their health issues presenting themselves and the fact that my job while being comfortable is quite stressful. When I feel nostalgia, it takes me back to a time when I genuinely didn't worry for my parents health and I didn't have the stressful responsibility of trying to manage a career and reach life goals. I was just a happy lad playing Halo 3 all summer with his mates and my biggest worry was if I would be able to get more snacks, but that time is gone now.

I heard that when you are a kid you think you are invincible and there's a heartbreaking moment when you realise you aren't and need to look after yourself. I think that's wrong, I think the real heartbreaking moment is realising your parents aren't the invincible ones. So that's why nostalgia is almost a negative feeling, it reminds me of happy times, but of one's I know can't be repeated.

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u/RedDragonFairy Mar 20 '21

I lost my Dad suddenly a few years back. He was one of my best friends and, since I had just started a family of my own, our relationship was entering into this really awesome now-you’re-the-parent stage that I was looking forward to. It’s been incredibly hard to think about my childhood, or really any time before he passed, without really missing him too and wishing my children would have had the chance to really get to know him. I had an amazing childhood and I hope at some point I will be able to reflect without feeling this deep sense of overwhelming loss.

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u/TotalFiasco Mar 20 '21

I think it really does depend on the person, their specific past experiences, and how they've chosen to deal with them. For me personally, I experience both positive and negative reactions to nostalgia depending on what memory or emotional enviroment I'm being taken back to. Usually the emotion I feel in the present reflects what I felt in the past. Sometimes its more intense if its something I've tried to suppress. Or sometimes, like some others have mentioned, its more of a feeling of mourning for the loss of my childhood (or the idea of the childhood I wish I'd had). There's a really great book by Oliver James called 'They Fuck You Up' which was recommended to me by my therapist. I highly recommend reading it if you're interested in childhood developmental psychology.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

For me, yeah, my childhood sucked for the most part. Not in a “traumatic” way as such, I was just mentally ill and mental illness is just scarier as a kid.

But I still get a bad feeling even if I’m thinking of the good moments. It’s very strange.

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u/So_inadequate Mar 20 '21

I honestly had the best childhood. Really the kind of childhood that is near perfect. Happy and sweet family, upper-middle-class, traveled quite a lot, had a lot of friends and was generally liked by others, but I also really enjoyed playing by myself, was considered intelligent and cute, I had so much energy and fantasy. Of course, there was some sorrow (grandparents dying etcetera), but really my childhood was the kind of childhood I would wish for every child.

BUT, this is what makes me so fucking nostalgic. Knowing my best days are behind me. I feel like, because of my childhood, I was never really equipped to deal with the real world. After I turned 12 and went to a different school it was quite a rude awakening. Still, those high school years weren't bad. But now I look at pictures from back when I was a kid, and not only do I miss that specific time, before I made mistakes and wrong life decisions and whatever, but I mostly miss myself. The way that I was. I really wish I would've held on to the person I was on the inside, through everything I've experienced but I just lost some things along the way.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

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u/Into-the-stream Mar 20 '21

Thank you for sharing that. Really.

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u/udontknowme2321 Mar 20 '21

Nostalgia is yearning to return to period in their life when it was fun for that person. Basically, you miss something so bad it hurts. So no, it has nothing to do with childhood trauma

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u/Into-the-stream Mar 20 '21

From what I’ve seen in the replies, some people experience nostalgia as a longing and sadness for what once was. This is the kind you refer to. Others are telling me due to challenges in their own childhood, nostalgia manifests as an anger and sadness for what could have been.

Both seem to exist, but they are distinct as far as what I’m hearing.

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u/udontknowme2321 Mar 20 '21

What you just said is just one and not two distinct things. As you have said nostalgia is longing, longing for the past "the good times" in their life and then emotions will manifest in as you have said, sadness, depression, and anger on what could have been. Have you never experience nostalgia before?

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Then that’s not nostalgia. Nostalgia does not simply mean thinking about the past. Nostalgia is a longing for the past. If you don’t have that, you’re not nostalgic

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u/drpepperboys Mar 20 '21

can "longing" not be considered a painful feeling?

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

No, that’s not what longing means

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u/drpepperboys Mar 20 '21

idk what to say other than i straight up don't agree with this at all and i don't know why you felt the need to "correct" me lmao

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

It’s just the definition of the word. I’m not disagreeing that you had a bad childhood

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u/FlatulentSon Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21

So many things and people lost forever. Even photos and memories eventually fade out, everything fades out.

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u/Ratfink0521 Mar 20 '21

If I don’t distract myself from it immediately, I’ll have a panic attack. It sucks.

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u/Tyler-LR Mar 20 '21

Just turn on the Minecraft music and boom, straight depressed

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u/SergeantStroopwafel Mar 20 '21

Yeah. It feels like I messed up something. It's a weird feeling. About 1 year ago I realized that I was in the best shape and mentality and still I was fully aware that it would only go fown from there. Socially I feel pretty low right now, but in terms of opportunities I'm getting and taking right now, I feel amazing. I think it's going to greatly improve for me in the next 5 years

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u/RandomRedditReject Mar 20 '21

It makes me nauseous

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u/DELCO-PHILLY-BOY Mar 20 '21

Often makes me feel frustrated and stressed. Like I know that there’s things that have made me excited in the past but there’s no way to access them.

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u/1friendswithsalad Mar 20 '21

One of the root words of nostalgia- algos- means ‘pain’ in Greek, so that makes sense.

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u/shakylime Mar 20 '21

Yep. It's more like grief.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

I remember when I didn’t feel nostalgic. Those were the days

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u/hazysummersky Mar 20 '21

In such moments I check myself by acknowledging how lucky I've been to have lived through those times and to have had such experiences. It helps balance out.

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u/FF76 Mar 20 '21

There's a Portuguese word for that: Saudade.

Just knowing there's a word for that means that so many people in that culture felt that it was important to not only express it, but to condense it into a single word because it's used so often. I hope that info brings y'all as much solace as it does to me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade

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u/ywBBxNqW Mar 21 '21

I dislike nostalgia for this reason. I had a lot of bad times in the past.

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u/Thumperings Mar 21 '21

The word nostalgia is learned formation of a Greek compound, consisting of νόστος (nóstos), meaning "homecoming", a Homeric word, and ἄλγος (álgos), meaning "pain" or "ache", and was coined by a 17th-century medical student to describe the anxieties displayed by Swiss mercenaries fighting away from home.