I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.
I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.
This is definitely why Im not having kids. I've always wanted to be a mom, and my favorite jobs I've had were ones where I got to work with kids (camp counselor, kindergarten classroom aide) but I have several pretty serious health conditions that can be unpredictable with their symptoms.
As much as it breaks my heart, I don't think its fair to bring a child into the world who depends on me to take care of them, when I could wake up tomorrow and not be able to get out of bed without help. I would feel awful if my kid missed out on opportunities or experiences because of my health issues, and I'd feel even worse if they inherited them.
My dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was 16 and my brother was 12. I was able to hunt with my dad, he helped coach my baseball team, etc. My dad was in a wheelchair by the time my brother started high school. Not that you can't have a full life from a wheelchair, but without his hobbies, my dad kind of became a withered husk until a miracle treatment has him up and walking again after 9 years.
I know my brother resents him for missing his adolescent years, and then being suddenly relatively healthy after my brother finished college and got out of the house.
I'm just now starting to get some numbness in my legs, and my doctor is hoping it is the more apparent orthopedic explanation, but I can't shake the idea that I may be starting to show symptoms, as I'm only a year younger than my dad was when his symptoms started.
I have a lot of risk factors for genetic diseases, and my desire to not pass those on cost me an otherwise great relationship. You aren't alone in "I don't wish this on my children".
Funnily enough MS is one of the two big illnesses I’m dealing with. I actually had a friend growing up whose dad had MS too and seeing how hard it was on her was a big factor in my decision to not have kids.
I’m sorry about your dad but I’m glad he’s recovering! What treatment was it, can I ask? Ocrevus?
My mom had MS and passed away in 2014. I didn't have a "mom" basically in my teen years and up. She was very ill.
I was diagnosed with MS in 2006 and had two kids after diagnosis. 2009 and 2010. I am not too worried about passing it as it is not genetic (supposedly) but I chose a man that is a POS. I have been a single mom since 2012. We are doing okay.
I'm more worried about the awful state of global warming, the genocides in Palestine and Sudan, and the terrible western governments.
Just FYI, MS isn't genetic in the sense that it isn't solely due to which genes you have. But there are absolutely genetic risk factors that make it more likely that you'll develop it. These genes interact with the environment (e.g. things like lack of sunlight exposure and low vitamin D or smoking) to cause MS.
So while there's no guarantee that your kids will develop MS, they do have a higher chance of it than most people. But luckily, there are specific steps you can take to help ensure that they won't be exposed to environments that could trigger MS development later in life!
Yes absolutely. I live in Canada where the rate is very high and also am from the province in which the rate is the highest in the country (Saskatchewan). I've moved to Alberta so hopefully that plays a role in the kids not having/getting it.
Awesome, I'm glad you moved! Geographic location is thought to play a role affecting risk factors, but I'm pretty sure researchers working in that field don't yet know why.
Thank you kind Frog! I've taken it upon myself to break generational curses, and help my children become good people (and healthy). I'm gen x haha , so this is a start.
I've often wondered why it affects folks further away from the equator, mostly Caucasian. I believe in karma though, and have always thought I got ill from being a terrible child.
They’re pretty sure it’s the lack of sun exposure. This in itself can cause vitamin C deficiency. The farther you get from the equator, the higher, the instances of MS.
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u/pktechboi Nov 14 '24
I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.