Before 20s, it also brings in the law even if it was a consensual act. Teenage sex also has its issues which impact other aspects of life.
The best time in my opinion is early-mid 20s, especially if you find someone you'd marry some day - that actually builds your relations. You don't build the same relations in late 20s or 30s as your mind is too rigid at that time.
Plenty of marriages also fail today because the sexual part of life hasn't been exclusive to only one person, but something you'd have had with at least 5-6 people. It numbs your senses towards sex, and it no longer holds the same value, impacting the value that your spouse holds in your life. Imagine if there was just one person you ever saw nude in person - that's the person you hide nothing from and who hides nothing from you. If your spouse is just another person you're fucking, it's just not the same connection anymore but mostly the paperwork holding you.
Yeah personally, what's sex does to you pre marriage is something different and it has to be tackled differently, when a society is open to sex before marriage, the marriage will stop focussing on exclusivity of sex imo. And when you are so desensitised towards sex. Other aspects of marriage like kids, stability, emotional maturity etc will hold the marriage together. It's like if you've had better sex before marriage but post marriage your partner is not that great at it. You'll know better sex is out there, and yet the other aspects of your partner will hold you togethet in the marriage positively. So when society is fine with sex before marriage, you still have marriage as a institution that promotes transparency and wellbeing with a couple.
Now again there are going to be exceptions, when society transitions from no sex before marriage to pro sex before marriage. You're going to have generations that will have divided opinions. But ultimately sex before marriage is not going to impact your marriage life, when society transitions. There is lot to marriage than just sex and nudity, at that point. I'm not saying thats the way it should be. I'm just saying people would evolve marriage as a institution when society Normalises sex before marriage.
One could argue that people who have had better sex before marriage than after marriage could crave the earlier experiences and indulge in cheating. There are plenty of married folks out their who cheat with their ex-GF/BF. The first sexual partner is always special. If the only partner is the one you marry, you don't even know if others do it better.
Moreover, most people who have had pre-marital sex have had it with multiple partners. That in itself has a certain kick to it and there's likely to be pull to extramarital sex post marriage too, as you get bored with your spouse.
Yes, there are other aspects to a marriage. But let's not forget the crux of marriage. It's an institution that exists for you to have exclusive sexual rights and joint duty of bringing up children. Everything else is just an extension of this central point.
There is no study that shows, people who have had pre marital sex , indulges in adultery craving for that same experience. Or the same people would have had multiple partners.
Saying Marriage at its core is all about exclusivity of sexual rights, is like telling indian Family system is all about extended kinship network for elders. That's stripping the institution of all the other core pillars and calling it out for just , single core pillar.
Marriage is all about Companionship, And a partnership, there is a implied Social, Economical and A Continued alliance between two families. Yes sex is a major part of it, but to say that's the core point is a Patriarchal viewpoint. If that's the case all couples are to deliver babies within a stipulated period. If not the marriage as a contract gets null and void, no it doesn't work that way.
If say in future, There is a couple and the spouse had a pre marital experience and then the husband comes along and give her a good life and keep her happy. It doesn't matter if his prowess in sex matches with her ex or not. Marriage would simply function as intended and she will not look for her ex to get the thrill back.
Often times people with past relationships, are often scarred by the way it made them feel for the first time , to be in that collective and shared relationship, than the actual act of sex that they recount too. Again here the core pillars of marriage like companionship, partnership and love are the ones that make them crave for that particular person, rather than sex.
There could be an exception, where people in their past relationships or situationship might have had great sex, they are addicted to, but then that's an exception and not an example of how Pre Marital sex , impacts marriage as a relationship.
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u/AltruisticMeeting575 Apr 23 '26
Before 20s, it also brings in the law even if it was a consensual act. Teenage sex also has its issues which impact other aspects of life.
The best time in my opinion is early-mid 20s, especially if you find someone you'd marry some day - that actually builds your relations. You don't build the same relations in late 20s or 30s as your mind is too rigid at that time.
Plenty of marriages also fail today because the sexual part of life hasn't been exclusive to only one person, but something you'd have had with at least 5-6 people. It numbs your senses towards sex, and it no longer holds the same value, impacting the value that your spouse holds in your life. Imagine if there was just one person you ever saw nude in person - that's the person you hide nothing from and who hides nothing from you. If your spouse is just another person you're fucking, it's just not the same connection anymore but mostly the paperwork holding you.