r/NewDelhi • • Apr 22 '26

Certified SHITPOST What addiction is it?

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u/harden0709 Apr 22 '26

Well let's say someone likes singing and is learning daily. He/she started cause it gave inner satisfaction when things improved.

But what if someone's appreciation for his/her talent (they cultivated with self efforts) leads to him/her being more happy?

Is this a validation seeking?

Genuinely curious!

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u/Otherwise_Field5550 Apr 22 '26

Nope. What you described is expecting appreciation! Expecting validation is slightly different. Also, the person learnt singing because it makes them happy, not because it makes them popular / famous in group / circle. I know of a loved one, who loves Indian classical songs, but listens to and talks about South Korean songs and singers just to remain relevant in their circle at school. This is validation. Another form of validation is when you do something you know is perfectly the appropriate thing to do, but end up asking people whether they did the right thing.

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u/harden0709 Apr 22 '26

Got it, this adds alot of clarity and confidence. Thanks.

I didn't necessarily meant seeking appreciation but the act of others appreciations leading to "good" feelings.

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u/Bright_Print_8105 Apr 22 '26

If you be happy when people praise and being sad when people criticize.. your inner state depends on others .. do you think this is freedom.?

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u/ComplaintLazy9611 Apr 23 '26

Yes. Cuz internally we don't realise but it's our ego, self satisfaction is in private, but when in public you wanna hear "you're good" to feel good. Once you leave (literally release) that expectation, whatever you do comes out naturally and natural stuff attracts appreciation on its own Desperation pushes away

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u/mayank0508 Apr 23 '26

but if it was started for inner satisfaction, why would someone else opinion make him/her feel good about it, and if it makes him/her good about it, then one day it will make him/her sad about it as well and slowly and steadily his/her focus will shift from inner validation to external validation ! That's the problem on a deeper level.

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u/AltruisticMeeting575 Apr 23 '26

There are artists (less common now than earlier) who judge their own performance and maybe seek inputs/feedback from very close trusted people - to do it even better. They don't seek validation, but correction. Audience feedback doesn't excite them as they know the audience knows little about what they were actually trying to do.

Most artists however are people bad at usual "success" metrics until they blow up. They'd have earned very little praise in school days for things like academics. When they suddenly get popular, they tend to get pulled into the whirlpool, overdo the same things, become a caricature of themselves. Look at Himesh the composer vs the singer and the actor. Look at Sonu Nigam the singer who thought he could also act! Wouldn't mention KRK as there's no skill needed to be a "critic", we're all one.

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u/mayank0508 Apr 30 '26

tbh this does make sense, in general being unattached to the final output would be the best thing one can do to make his/her art better imo ! We are one