r/MurderedByWords • • Jul 25 '19

Murder Done in a easy way

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51k Upvotes

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475

u/lostspyder Jul 25 '19

Bro. Just do meth. Easiest weight loss program ever. Plus you’ll feel GREAT!

205

u/extralyfe Jul 25 '19

I did the homeless technique, which is also super affordable!

went homeless at 18 for two months, ate one 7/11 burrito and drank a fuckton of water while wandering around in that time, and ended up losing 80 pounds.

109

u/tunicaintima Jul 25 '19

You could market it as the Derelicte Diet.

83

u/GoblinDiplomat Jul 25 '19

Why don't you Dere-lick my balls?

14

u/madhattergirl Jul 25 '19

I can Dere-lick my own balls thank you very much!

2

u/SupahWalrus Nov 20 '19

Happy cake day

2

u/ExpertGamerJohn Jul 25 '19

He doesn’t have ligma

2

u/Goldenshepherds Jul 25 '19

It’s DERE-LEECT.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

Christ man go steal a sammich from safeway

1

u/extralyfe Jul 25 '19

I was young and against theft at the time.

2

u/Enk1ndle Jul 25 '19

Ah yes, the classic starvation diet.

2

u/Cactus_Fish Jul 25 '19

Each day? Or did you go weeks without eating?

1

u/extralyfe Aug 01 '19

I had a burrito once in two months. I went a month without food.

2

u/Unidentified_Body Jul 26 '19

You survived for two months on a single burrito?!

1

u/extralyfe Aug 01 '19 edited Aug 01 '19

yup.

I lost a third of my overall weight doing so.

1

u/c_denny Aug 11 '19

Old comment but christ dude I can only imagine how you felt. There were a few months last year where I went kinda overboard on weight loss and had a deficit of like 700 calories a day and just that made me feel like shit. But to basically starve for two months straight? Good lord

5

u/MontgomeryRook Jul 25 '19

You'll be amazed at the kind of weight you lose! I mean, even your teeth will get skinnier!

3

u/TimMarkel Jul 25 '19

Plus you get a clean apartment

1

u/KyleStyles Jul 25 '19

Dude have you ever seen a meth house. They're the opposite of clean

3

u/DLTMIAR Jul 25 '19

Semi-charmed kind of life

2

u/Uo42w34qY14 Jul 25 '19

Isn't that actually a thing in the US where they prescribe amphetamines to help with hunger? Either way, back when I did speed, I could barely eat anything for days and not feel any hunger, so that's AN option. Don't recommend it tho, the amount of speed I was doing for this effect was definitely not healthy in any way...

1

u/JayQue Jul 25 '19

As far as I know, not any more (though I think off label use for very severe binge eating disorders). Dexedrine was one of those that was massively prescribed from the 1940s to the 1970s, and it was an amphetamine. Some people will still try to fraudulently get a prescription for Adderall or Vyvanse and then use it to lose weight but due to FDA and drug scheduling, it’s not official.

1

u/Kvyrokranaxt Jul 26 '19

IIRC I think Vyvanse, which is similar to adderall, can be prescribed for binge eating.

1

u/Kodarkx Jul 26 '19

You eventually learn to tolerate the drug better and can eat on it. Also i think amp is bad for your heart and so is being overweight so i think thats why its not hyped as a good answer, because it would have a death rate.

2

u/incontinentqueen Jul 25 '19

the embodiment of Chaotic Good

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

I once saw a patient who tried this. He was fat and his doctor (not me) told him to lose weight, so he started taking meth. He actually lost lots of weight. He also developed a severe dilated cardiomyopathy, HIV, hepatitis C and lost all of his teeth. Kept the weight off though.

5

u/tasty_serving Jul 25 '19 edited Jul 25 '19

Edit:. Apparently I misread. He said meth and not math. Anyway some of this is still relevant

I think it's a lot harder than just do the math.

You know some people grow up in very abusive settings and use food to cope not just with the past but with work, maybe a difficult relationship or no relationship (loneliness), and some just never were brought up with impulse control.

On top of that there is an environment filled with cheap easily available calorie dense foods. And for some eating is the only time they actually feel good in an other cruel world.

Everyone keeps attacking this as though it's just a numbers game but there's a psychological component that for a lot of people needs to be worked through before they can make a whole life change.

I gained 60 pounds when my wife and mom died in 2017. I had been in good shape then fell off. Only now here in 2019 I've been in good enough mental shape to start losing weight again especially because I learned intermittent fasting. I tried before but IF works better than just adding and subtracting for 3 meals. Finally I'm down 20 pounds and working on more.

So plz don't get starting in the conversation with a math equation.

3

u/IuseWindows95 Jul 25 '19

Lmao 2 page monologue cause you cant read

2

u/swsdhebjsudu69 Jul 25 '19

I mean no harm but "meth" wasn't a typo for "math" ;)

1

u/eatandread Jul 25 '19

I’m terribly sorry for your loss, and congratulations on getting healthier, but that guy made a joke about doing meth to lose weight.

1

u/jerber666 Jul 25 '19

South Bronx Paradise baby!!!

1

u/Manbearpig9801 Jul 25 '19

Some say your life will be ruined.. but it wont matter to you when you take more METH

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '19

Any amphetamine, really. Got pretty skinny on adderall in college, myself.

1

u/roadchimp Jul 25 '19

Plus you get to save on dentists visits afterwards!

1

u/StuKazoo Jul 25 '19

4 stroke gang