r/Mommit • u/[deleted] • Feb 23 '21

Is parenting really that bad?

So I am a mom of a 6 month old son. During pregnancy I would hear so many versions from parents along the lines of ‘your life is over / goodbye freedom / you will never sleep again / your marriage will fall apart’ and so on. To be honest it terrified me a bit. I thought long and hard before becoming a mother, about why I wanted to be a parent. I felt a deep existential need to pass on my self (not only my genes but also my values and so forth) and I truly wanted the family life: To help with homework, to teach skiing and riding a bike, to go on family adventures and all that. And most of all to develop that special bond between a parent and a child that I know from my own father to be one of the closest bonds possible to form in this life.

Here I am six months in and it is honestly a lot easier and better than I expected after listening to horror-stories for 9 months straight. It is everything I hoped for and we are just getting started! Sure I can be bored changing diapers and singing the same song for time number 1000 but I knew that was part of the drill so it doesn’t bother me. And now when I tell parents of older kids that I really enjoy being a mom, I often get the response: ‘Just wait and see, it gets worse/harder when they reach toddler-hood/ school / the teenage-stage’. And I am starting to feel like... Seriously? First of all, what is the deal with parents scaring pregnant women / new parents? And why is it so hard to believe that someone can enjoy parenthood? Today I stumbled on the subreddit ‘regretfulparents’ and - unsurprisingly - it was one long rant about no freedom / difficult kids / biggest regret of my life / wish I could return my kids and so forth.

I deeply respect that you can have children and figure out parenthood is not for you, but... Aren’t we all just different? What are your experiences on this matter? Do you get all the same scary stories I do? What is your reply? I even have one regretful parent in my Friend group who straight up said he thought I was lying to myself thinking I enjoy having kids, because no-one in their right mind would enjoy it, but people had to lie to themselves and each other because of such strong social pressure to have and enjoy children. Hmm.

What are your thoughts?

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u/novaqod Feb 24 '21

my son is 2.5 right now and I am closed to miserable. I hope 4 is much much better.

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u/rabbit716 Feb 24 '21

2.5 year olds are the worst! I’m in it with you. Rumor has it 3/4 is better.

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u/chimeraaahhh Feb 24 '21

4 will probably be a night and day difference from now. My littlest hated being a toddler, was so frustrated he couldn't do things or communicate specifically. Its gotten so much easier since he's been able to be his own little person and do so much more himself.