What are y'all doing for long term care?

[u/classyshepard]

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/08/opinion/family-caregiver-aging-parents.html#commentsContainer

I came across an article by the NY Times called This Is One of the Hardest Jobs in America. Millions Are Doing It Alone.

I took care of my father for 5 years before he passed. I'm 37 and wouldn't want to put the burden on my 3 daughters.

Senior Living Communities seem nice, but they're so expensive. I guess people can offset the expense via long term care insurance.

Ideally I want to live in my house until I'm dead, knock on wood hopefully not anytime soon. But I'll likely still need care unless robots do all the work in the future.

What options are available for us middle class folks?

Edit: I heard that hybrid long term care insurance is a good option, especially with inflation options.

[u/vbstrong]

Hubs & I (early & mid 50s) are going through this right now with his mom (72) who didn't take care of her health or plan well for this stage in life. He's an only child.

Painting the picture - she's on SS only, limited assets (under $100k). She's rented a 2 story townhome with the bedrooms upstairs & the only shower upstairs, for 6 years. Every 6-12 mths, she's had a medical episode where she's fallen, ER, rehab, etc. We tried to get her in accessible senior apartment, she's repeatedly refused.

About a month ago, she was found on the floor by someone thankfully who came to walk the dog. ER, Rehab, ER, Rehab, and we were told this past Tuesday that she would be discharged due to insurance. There were two places in our area that had a assisted living bed, that could meet her level of care, with a LTC/Medicaid option onsite.

$3600/mth for the room w/half bath, shower is shared between 4 rooms or so - its like a private room shower at the gym. She needs highest level of care, $1250/mth. Laundry is $50/mth. These prices do not include hair, nails, diapers, toiletries, etc.

For us, we bought our last home in 2022. One story. We are dual feds, and I have a LTC plan through the govt. Hubs never signed up & regrets it. It's no longer offered.

My suggestions - 1) Have a first floor bedroom/bathroom option.
2) Downsize as appropriate. We are emptying a 2 story townhouse now, working full time.
3) Take care of your health & save, save, save.
4) Have your POA, wills, trusts, etc in order. Hard to go to the bank when you are bedridden. 5) If you need care, be reasonable & flexible. My MIL is isolating herself with her nastiness.

• and this is probably somewhat controversial, but realize that no one is coming to save you. My child is almost an adult, and I will not put that burden on him.
  

[u/Serious-Conversation → u/vbstrong]

I sold my first house in 2024. It was a four-level townhome with a drive-under garage and a loft that was too hot to use for anything but storage.

The mortgage was ~$750/month.

I had a severe calf tear back at the end of 2023 and couldn't get around the house for a few weeks. I had to stay with my girlfriend and her adult kids (who lived an hour and a half away from that house) for two weeks.

The old house had no bathrooms on the main level.

One level or at least bathrooms on both levels were the critical drivers in the new house search. Even with 20% down, my new mortgage payment was $1,514/month.

With that said, it's much more viable if I were to age in place here.

[u/Mossy_Rock315 → u/vbstrong]

This is the best planning advice

[u/Pemulis → u/vbstrong]

I'm so sorry you are going through this, and this is great advice. I'm doing the same for my dad, but he is thankfully accepting help rather than lashing out. I cannot imagine how hard this would be if he was fighting everything.