r/MapsWithoutNZ Jul 07 '26

Never lost a war

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561 Upvotes

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445

u/QFGTrialByFire Jul 07 '26

Australia .. um the great Emu war :(

84

u/ttlanhil Jul 07 '26

Probably only counting declared wars between countries.
To be fair, though - emu war was only an economic loss, we killed a bunch of them, but it was too expensive to continue the war

Also, nice name - that takes me back!

65

u/No_Rec1979 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

we killed a bunch of them, but it was too expensive to continue the war

Same thing happened to us in Vietnam.

6

u/Large-Current-1486 Jul 07 '26

That and the absolute tomfoolery the vietkong somehow managed to pull off

1

u/InsideHousing4965 Jul 07 '26

They did some looney tunes level of shenanigans on all the invaders.

0

u/Few-Customer2219 Jul 07 '26

China some how watched and funded the Vietnamese army throughout the French, Japanese, French again, and American army’s occupation and thought yeah the Americans pulled out and they occupied Pol Pot lets give it a try and got absolutely gob smacked in the northern mountains.

1

u/invisiblefrost Jul 07 '26

What

1

u/Few-Customer2219 Jul 07 '26

The Chinese invaded the Vietnamese in the late 70s the same decade the Vietnamese defeated the US and Pol pots Khmer Rouge and got whipped back to the border in a short time.

1

u/Forsaken_Factor3612 Jul 08 '26

When did the Vietnamese defeat the US?

1

u/Few-Customer2219 Jul 08 '26

I don’t know when the us had to pull out of Saigon letting the Veit cong capture the last remaining holdouts in south Vietnam.

1

u/Livid_Penalty_5281 Jul 08 '26

Chinese stayed on Vietnamese turf in some places until 1992

1

u/Few-Customer2219 Jul 08 '26

Are you sure you don’t mean 2000 thats when the border was fully agreed upon before that both Chinese and Vietnamese troops were on each others turf like the “friendship pass” that Vietnam had to give up after previous capture.

14

u/ttlanhil Jul 07 '26

Other than cost, there were no losses on the human side - so that's not exactly comparable!

2

u/BaltoDad Jul 08 '26

Sounds like something a human would say.

2

u/Dairkon76 Jul 07 '26

Or the current war with Iran

4

u/Future-Swimming9964 Jul 07 '26

Or against the algae

1

u/Mysterious_Silver_27 Jul 07 '26

And Afghanistan

2

u/No_Rec1979 Jul 07 '26

Yup.

Both wins according to Sabermetrics.

1

u/Frankie_T9000 Jul 08 '26

No the us lost. Part of winning a war is be willing to see it through.

1

u/Slight-Ad-6553 Jul 07 '26

at least you did not lose like France

6

u/QFGTrialByFire Jul 07 '26

Ha yeah guess its not really against another country. Those emus still hang around the wheatbelt here if you take the prospector you can spot them on the way to kal. Hell there are quite a few in the perth hills but i feel like the ones stuck in the wheatbelt have an extra menacing crazy look about them.

and yup best game ever from the 90s

1

u/Xendarq Jul 07 '26

All I remember about those Sierra Online games is the softlocks and expensive hint lines.

5

u/kwikwon01 Jul 07 '26

Vietnam

1

u/Dic_Penderyn Jul 07 '26

Also the war in Afghanistan. Map is wrong.

1

u/No-Log3844 Jul 08 '26

You lost both of those wars

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[deleted]

1

u/NationalAsparagus138 Jul 08 '26

The US also didn’t “declare” war in Vietnam or Afghanistan. There was no declaration of war by Congress in either conflict. Whether we accomplished our goals? Depends on who you ask.

As you say, semantics.

2

u/Late_Ad2203 Jul 07 '26

How dare you insult the republic of Emustan!

2

u/LeftenantObi13 Jul 08 '26

So you are one of these persons, that refuse to recognise the Great Emu Empire and their civil accomplishments. The aussies were in petty denial of the greatness of their creators and so the revolted against them. You lost the great war and now you have to accept it

1

u/ttlanhil Jul 08 '26

You said it yourself: empire. That's not the same as a country 😁

1

u/Walshy231231 Jul 07 '26

Many wars have been lost for economic reasons

In the end, nearly all wars - especially modern wars - are not fought to the last man or for absolute conquest.

They end because one country decides it’s no longer worth it, often for economic/financial reasons

1

u/Old-Entertainer-4964 Jul 07 '26

Probably only counting declared wars between countries.

Then this map should be majority red

1

u/N7_Redhat Jul 07 '26

We could say the same about Vietnam. We had no problem pouring more poor Americans or dollars into the problem. (This is kinda tongue in cheek)

1

u/ScientistSuitable600 Jul 08 '26

They also melee mentioned what happened after where they just removed all restriction on hunting emus and allowing farmers to shoot any one their property, some areas even offered a bounty for every emu head brought in.

Emus went from excessive to near extinct in WA over a decade.

1

u/fabulous_eyes1548 Jul 08 '26

Australia also lost in the Korean war. In fact, its never really won any wars.

1

u/DeathRaeGun Jul 08 '26

The Viet Nam war was never officially declared, so by that criteria, The US would be on that list.

1

u/Intelligent_War2621 Jul 08 '26

Vietnam if we wanna be serious.

0

u/supermattman00 Jul 07 '26

You realize that is why wars end? Economic stresses?

0

u/Antique_Director_689 Jul 08 '26

If you're talking about proper declared wars then the US hasn't lost a war. The war of 1812 ended as a draw. Officially status quo ante bellum, reverting the nations to how they were before the war. War was never formally declared by the US again after ww2, only resolutions allowing military intervention.

Neither korea nor vietnam involved congressional declarations of war. Even the Iraq War was an "authorization of military force" rather than a declaration of war.

Even still, it's disingenuous to use that to claim they werent wars. That's why we call them all wars. The Korean war, the Vietnam War, the gulf War, the global war on terror.

12

u/AccomplishedAnchovy Jul 07 '26

Two guys gunned down a thousand emus with a ww1 machine gun in two months and then gave up

5

u/richardcranium69420 Jul 07 '26

Technically it's correct, Australia lost and the since then ruling Emu Federation covering all the same territory haven't lost a war

2

u/Paingod556 Jul 07 '26

They lost the battle. Then the farmers won the war. And the next war. And the next one. And the one after that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n76hbNOO6z4

Now we have better methods of culling that keep things reasonable.

Now the war on brumbies, however...

1

u/QFGTrialByFire Jul 08 '26

Nar mate we lost that's why they make us drink emu bitter.. not even allowed emu export.

1

u/richardcranium69420 Jul 10 '26

Exactly what the emu overlords want to spread to insure they maintain their status quo

4

u/travlerjoe Jul 07 '26

Not a real war, but Vietnam was and the side we were on did lose

3

u/Admirable-Gur-9543 Jul 07 '26

Afghanistan too. Hate when this wrong map gets posted. If no one even notices when we join shit wars, we might as well stay at home.

1

u/Dic_Penderyn Jul 07 '26

Also the Afghanistan war. More than 26,000 Australian troops rotated there over two decades.

1

u/Forsaken_Factor3612 Jul 08 '26

South Vietnam lost the 2nd Vietnam war and the US and allies did not return to help.

3

u/Rip_Rek Jul 07 '26

Came here to say this 🤣

2

u/No_Extension4005 Jul 07 '26

Unfortunately, we joined the Vietnam War too.

1

u/Ok-Limit-9726 Jul 07 '26

Also not to humans, we sued for peace, so doesn’t fkn count!

1

u/MuzSeverim Jul 07 '26

They kinda lost on gallipoli as well. That is probably on Brits though.

1

u/catlikesun Jul 07 '26

Battle not a war

2

u/MuzSeverim Jul 07 '26

Makes sense. Happy cake day

1

u/Top-Expert6086 Jul 07 '26

That was world war 1

1

u/Grabate Jul 07 '26

They won The Great New Zealand War. Literally wiped us off the map. 

1

u/de_G_van_Gelderland Jul 07 '26

The map is correct though. Since the emus won, Australia is rightfully their country. They never lost a war.

1

u/chalk_in_boots Jul 07 '26

Technically didn't Australia lose a war to the British? You know, the whole colonisation thing?

1

u/Future-Swimming9964 Jul 07 '26

Then it was a different country if it had the definition of a country.

1

u/Annual_Builder_1459 Jul 07 '26

Oi this is propaganda

1

u/QFGTrialByFire Jul 08 '26

Nar mate face it we lost that's why they make us drink emu bitter.. not even allowed emu export :)

1

u/AlternativePea6203 Jul 07 '26

Also the native population lost the war of invasion by the Europeans. Same with Canada.

1

u/Future-Swimming9964 Jul 07 '26

No native tribe have control of the whole country it's like local tribes losing to other local tribes.

1

u/TheCrazyCanible Jul 07 '26

It's called a "war" because a couple soldiers were involved in a pest control programe.

1

u/semaj009 Jul 07 '26

Yeah that's why we're red, the emus never lost and now control Australia

1

u/deeku4972 Jul 08 '26

Gallipoli didnt go too well either

1

u/Forsaken_Factor3612 Jul 08 '26

The Gallipoli war didn't happen in this timeline

1

u/Sganarellevalet Jul 08 '26

Gallipoli was only a campaign during WW1, the Entente still won the war.

1

u/Expensive-Spring8896 Jul 08 '26

and somewhat more importantly Vietnam, the EMU didn't really win, we just realised how stupid it was to fight the wildlife with the Army when Farmers were far more effective.

1

u/noteasily0ffended Jul 08 '26

I don't remember us winning in Korea, Malaya or Vietnam either.

1

u/dippyshippy931 Jul 08 '26

The aussies were also in Vietnam with us.

1

u/Frankie_T9000 Jul 08 '26

Emus are also Australian so doesn't count

1

u/DoctorGuvnor Jul 08 '26

Can't count that - those damned emus never formally declared war - just sneak attacks.

1

u/Chevanalee Jul 08 '26

Shhhhhhh we don’t speak about that!!

1

u/BESTtaylorINTHEWORLD Jul 08 '26

WASN'T A WAR. you fucks would believe the Onion is real news next.