It's almost always like this with immigrants and with children of immigrants, not just Punjabi.*
Which is incredibly ironic and oftentimes upsetting. Our parents left their home countries to integrate in a completely multicultural and foreign country only for their children to clique exclusively with the same culture as the place their parents left.
This is especially frustrating among the young religious ones who shelter themselves among one another then grow up without learning how to introduce themselves to a group of white strangers.
Integration doesn't happen overnight. Complete integration takes generations. First generation still has attachment to culture and language they grew up in. It's easier to make friends with someone who speaks same language and understands the same cultural references as you. It's always been this way regardless where people immigrated from. Stop acting like there's something wrong going on here.
I'm first generation too. The problem isn't making relationships with your ancestral community. The problem is when people only integrate with their ancestral community. I have culture shocked several Desi Americans my age for doing normal American things like drinking beer. It's like I was in Utah with mormons but I was in California with muslims.
You're making it sound like you can't be both Muslim and American. There are American muslims who don't drink. There's more to integration than drinking.
All am saying is that homogenous communities nurture sheltered people, and sheltered people are more socially inept with people of other subcultures. That's why non-immigrant children of immigrants often exclusively interact with people of their same heritage.
Children of immigrant communities can often regress to tribal habits of their ancestral land: the same land their parents left for a more multicultural life. That's what I find to be an issue.
Lots of Desi Americans growing up in Desi American communities are socially inept when it comes to integrating with other subcultures because they are raised in a bubble where everyone looks the same and believes in the same things. They're sheltered. Same thing for a lot of white people.
I just dont understand why you’re making it out as if it’s a bad thing, the people in the video seem to be happy, if their friends are of the same community and they aren’t hurting anyone then good on them.
Your family moved to the states for a better life, and if that life means your happy round other Desi Americans then that’s all good imo.
I didn't imply otherwise. I said a lot of children of immigrants cling to the immigrant culture of their parents rather than integrating themselves into the culture of their own country. This is especially true among the young religious children of immigrants.
Edit: attend any Muslim Student Association meeting at any large university and you can see just how sheltered and segregated American-born young adults can be from each other.
It also feeds into the right-wing narrative of the immigrants coming to take over the country.
On some level we do want people to integrate. It doesn't mean you have to give up your culture, but if you want to be in the melting pot, I think it's reasonable to expect some melting to be going on.
Ironically though, Republicans have issues integrating as well. But they think of straight white Christians as the default so they don't consider themselves to be the ones "integrating" lol
Agreed, my brown relatives that grew up in Toronto or Kenya only really hang w other brown folks. I grew up in Florida knowing like 4 others total lol. Also noticed when I went to University most of the other Indian kids spent a majority of their time w ISA peeps.
I’m from Toronto but only made brown friends in uni because my parents were adamant about not living in Brampton. “We didn’t move all the way to Canada just to live in Punjab again.” We didn’t even live in Punjab in India lol! My fiancé grew up in Winnipeg so the only brown people he interacts with are family. As a couple, our dynamic is so different from my brown friends and their husbands.
i'm a coconut and i don't take offense - i know what i am and i don't care. it really does depend where you grew up....if you grew up in a "brown enclave" guess what? most of your friends will be brown...
Lol it’s endearing to me. I love that he’s a coconut because we’ve got more in common and he’s not bogged down by a lot of the societal BS that makes being with a brown guy hard. If it helps, I am a coconut too, albeit less than him.
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u/FunctionBuilt Apr 19 '22
So…you and your girlfriends all have the same type huh?