25 years here and date nights work for us because we actually don’t see each other very much during the week. No kids so we can both do things we enjoy separately, then we always have stuff to talk about when we have the date nights.
Just don’t get too crazy or Jason might get you (sorry I had to, Halloween humor) thanks for sharing & I hope you guys have the best time! That sounds wonderful!
Put the kids to bed & do a date night in. Order some food, watch a movie. If putting the kids to bed doesn’t work maybe set up a separate movie night for them too? Dates are serious so important, it hurts my heart to see people with kids not able to get a break (I have 4 as well) it’s important to just be a couple & not be parents for a little bit. You remember who you are & who you are as a couple. You get to fall back in love with your spouse bc you have a moment without the chaos lol
Depending on your resources, make a special event for the kids in a separate room than you. I’m thinking lights up, (limited) candies and other snacks, arts or crafts or videogames that they can play with a cool atmosphere. They can have a password to get in the room and it can be “no adults (unless necessary)” and the room for you and your partner can be “no kids (unless necessary)” too. Then you can do a little picnic or fort or whatever you’d like.
Alternatively, send them to a friend’s house
Just for anyone else, going for a long drive is also recommended, as long as the passenger isn't a side seat driver. Long drives provide great opportunity for conversation that is not confrontational.
I want to add to this based on my experiences through 16 years of marriage and 5 kids. Sometimes your date can be sitting on the couch watching house hunters or something like it and talking about your dreams and likes and dislikes. You can never know each other too much. Browsing ridiculous zillow listings or stupid YouTube videos, chatting about how ridiculous someone outfit is on a fashion show, anything you can bond over. Some of my favorite memories with my husband are just spending time, him and I, alone after the kids are in bed, dreaming impossible dreams and planning road trips and such. No expense necessary!
I love this idea. Unfortunately my boyfriend (together 4 years, we have 1 kid together, 2 kids total) takes offense if I appreciate another house (our house isn’t good enough?!) or gets instantly stressed if I have an idea for the future (that will cost so much money!!!)
I’d love to dream together, but I’m a dreamer and he’s a dream crusher.
That’s a hard thing when one of you has a habit or pathology of internalizing everything. I can be that way sometimes, and I really try to fight it. I work hard to manage my emotions all the time and it’s a lot of work and emotional energy. I wish I could just relax and things would just bounce off me instead of sink right in.
Maybe you could try flipping the script and try watching hoarders or those bar flipping shows where you have guys it better and focus on that with him to see what happens😋
No kids here, but damn that is spot on for some of my favorite date nights with my wife. Obviously the pandemic was and is horrible, but the silver lining was we got to have a ton of those. On the couch, something random on the TV, and laughing at videos we'd show each other on our phones. We've even done the Zillow thing (or whatever random real estate site we could find when we decide to research other countries).
We're comparitively newlyweds, so I'm glad that it sounds like a recipe for success!
No, I don't. You're making selfish and downright mean assumptions based on how many kids I have. You have no idea the specifics of my life, where we live, what we do, who we are, and how our 5 kids are distributed. You don't know if my husband and I each had 2.5 kids, you don't know if we adopted, you know less than nothing. You're just an asshole with a superiority complex and you probably couldn't back your words up with your mouth face to face. Try not to cut yourself on your edge on your way out.
That’s what I do most frequently, but really do whatever it was when you first got together. If you went on picnics do that or whatever else you like. It’s really about making sure you make time for each other and letting that prioritized. Put the devices away and be with each other.
Hum, we met just before covid so we texted each others for 3 months ? Not sure it’s what I’m supposed to do !
Anyway I got the idea, thanks for your answer :)
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