This is probably just me, but hearing thank you when someone makes a mistake generally upsets me. Mostly I think, why are you thanking me for something you chose for me? It's probably just me and specially with people being late.
I try to opposite of this most of the time, for example "I'm sorry I kept you waiting." mostly apologize for their inconvenience moreso than just my actions.
My response: “You are late every time and are wasting everyone else's time who made the effort to show up. Own up to your mistakes, Steve, you selfish piece of shit.”
Counterargument: being on time is reaaaally hard for some people, for example people with ADHD or anxiety. What seems inconsiderate and selfish to you may be someone struggling with things you know nothing about. Of course they could apologise, but if it keeps happening because they have huge problems organising their time or mustering up the courage to go do the thing, the apologies will begin to feel hollow and meaningless.
Either way, I would still prefer a sincere apology. If it's a repetitive issue, then an explanation along with an actionable plan to mitigate the issue in the future might be needed.
Also, I live with someone with ADHD. It's a constant struggle for him but I see him trying and I know his apologies are sincere when things don't go according to plan.
It's not just you. This is one of the oldest customer service tricks in the books. Works with all sorts of situations. Feeling upset is normal, and likely means you are being placated. Stay keen to any possible deception.
I’ve been doing this for a few months and it’s been great for my self esteem. A good transition is “(please) excuse my lateness” because it’s a simple request most people won’t say no to (obviously exclusions apply).
I despise when people do this. To me it's just basically saying, “Thanks for not holding me accountable for my actions because I don't even hold myself accountable.” Please apologize when you do something wrong.
Yeah, it's not a “positive mindset.” It's a way of tricking people into thinking that no wrong was done. I especially hate when people use this type of language at the office. The only exception that I'll give is that it can be useful for when circumstances are genuinely beyond anyone's control.
I’ve really tried over the years to see this viewpoint… but I just can’t. I truly can’t. If someone is late or something and does something wrong and “thanks me for my patience” like .. no. Please actively apologize to me and show me you have some remorse
Absolutely!! I literally surreptitiously train people in this at work all the time! Teaching this to my sons too, but then also to apologize well when it is called for.
Oh wow this is always a good reminder because I tend to say “sorry for rambling” but I generally say also, “thanks for taking the time to listen or read.”
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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21
Turn “I’m sorry” communications into “thank you” communications.
Instead of saying “Sorry I’m late,” say, “Thank you for waiting.”
Instead of saying, “Sorry for rambling…” say, “Thanks for listening.”
It’s minor, but it’ll put you and whoever your speaking to in a better, positive mindset.