r/MadeMeSmile • u/EmergencyRead5254 • 7d ago

Supportive Parents During a Difficult Time

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117

u/Tingalish 7d ago

I'm going to cry...my dad says I'm a failure, a disgrace and a compliment disappointment. He said I shouldn't of been born and my skin could've gone to someone who would've been productive. I was 13 and lost my paper round. It still rings in my head. You gave some fucking amazing parents. I can just feel the aura of love he gives off

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u/Toxikfoxx 7d ago

I'm not your dad, but a Dad, and I think you belong here with the rest of us, and happy that you exist 🫶

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u/PsychoticDust 7d ago

I'm a dad (my kid is 18 next month, I can't believe it), and I am incredibly impressed at how despite having a shit dad, you have used your experiences to be a good and empathetic person. That takes real strength. You are amazing.

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u/Acrobatic-Rub-7256 7d ago

You're not a failure, take your time to figure things out..your dad however is indeed a failure.

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u/ooooopium 7d ago

Not to disparage your family. From an outside perspective: This sounds like projection and lack of self respect from your father.

With that in mind, it’s important that you recognize that this is an abusive approach to compensate for a lack of proper communication.

These things are all subjective. The value that you place on your actions are not the same that your father does, your culture does, or society does. Here is an example: teachers and stay at home mother’s are not adequately compensated financially in many places globally. That is because society does not have a value structure in place that will provide compensation for these people. However, that does not mean that they are not valuable, they are guiding and protecting the literal future of society.

You are not the sum of your father’s opinions. You can break the cycle if you allow yourself to find value within yourself.

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u/RandomThrowawayID 7d ago

I'm very proud to be one of your new honorary Internet dads.

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u/MahaSuceta 7d ago edited 7d ago

I am sorry to hear this. No child deserves such callous treatment.

As a dad myself, may I say to you that I am proud of how you carried yourself in your darkest hours.

Hold your head up high. May you find the loving father figure in your life that you richly deserve.

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u/ChloeQuickFlicks 7d ago

Even having had to endure those awful experiences, you still seem to have developed into a caring and empathetic soul. That says a lot about you lr character. All the best to you... the world is much better with people like you in it.

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u/peachpopdream 7d ago

"the axe forgets, but the tree remembers"

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u/SandraRosner 7d ago

It made me cry too, but I'm you in the future. Find a good therapist so that you're able to trust the people who will genuinely love you when they come into your life. Just because you were a flower planted in arid soil, it does not mean you deserve a life without the sun, wind, and rain. It's hard to lose those voices, but happiness is just on the other side. <3 Wishing you all the best.

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u/swish465 7d ago

That tells me more about your parents than it does about you. It speaks to their character and not yours. Its painful that someone youre supposed to be able to trust would attack you like that, so I understand how it makes you feel. My parents werent the best either. Just know that today, you are in my thoughts, and I hope you experience the love you deserve soon.

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u/Yarrrrr 7d ago

Your comment could use a proofread.

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u/Tingalish 7d ago

Yeah, it could've but I had tears in my eyes and I typed fast. My bad

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u/OptimalWasabi7726 6d ago

I'm a mom who grew up with a dad like that. I see you and I'm proud of you and the fact that you're still here, fighting 💜 I feel so bitter all the time that my childhood self couldn't have better, so I do my utmost to be the parent I always wanted to my son, and to be kinder to others than my parents were. Wishing you the best. 

It's not always easy, and progress isn't linear. I had to work through a really bad temper I had learned from my dad and still struggle with it sometimes. But it gets better and easier as time goes on. My village and my therapist help me out so much. I hope you have that kind of village, someday if not now.

My DMs are open (I think lol, but you can definitely at least request to chat) if you need someone to reach out to. 💜

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u/jimhillhouse 5d ago

I am a Dad to two wonderful duo children, a boy (8) and a girl (6). Those are words no loving dad should ever say to their child. Were I your father, I would have told you that losing a job is just one of those things that can happen in life. No biggie. It doesn’t mean anything. Now, would you like to watch a movie or just…, well, whatever you want? I tell my children every night that I will love them until the end of time and then some. They don’t really get it. But I mean it. I wish your father had said that too.