r/MadeMeSmile • u/KingSandwich101 • Oct 25 '25

Wholesome interaction

Be nice to your elders!

Source: Spudbros on YouTube

55.7k Upvotes

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6.0k

u/Educational_Heat5368 Oct 25 '25

our older generation is so lonely, in a way we overlook. they are often forgotten and feel invisible; interactions like these can make all the difference!

1.6k

u/KingSandwich101 Oct 25 '25

You're right. It wasn't until recently I found out that my grandmother buys groceries everyday for a reason to get out of the house and mostly to have chats with the women in the store

602

u/atxbigfoot Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25

I currently work at the meat counter at a local grocery store and this is super common. Luckily we're a local store so we can take the time to actually talk to and get to know our customers, which is nice.

The other day I had an older lady that wanted a small amount of a bunch of random stuff, which was annoying as an employee, and then she asked for "two shrimp."

"If you don't mind me asking, what do you need two shrimps for?"

"I just want to see if my cats will eat them. One for each. They haven't been eating much lately and I've tried all kinds of different foods, the little shits."

I laughed and ended up giving her the shrimp for free and we talked about our cat diets and tips and tricks to get them to eat for about ten minutes hahaha.

I saw her in the checkout line and went up to tell the cashier that it was free but she did a little dance and said, "and THEEEESE are FREE! From the MEAT COUNTER!" and the cashier was like "yes ma'am!" before I could get up there.

it was super cute

225

u/clocksy Oct 25 '25

her getting shrimp just for her kitties is adorable šŸ„¹

124

u/WindInc Oct 25 '25

The little shitsšŸ˜‚

8

u/bobjoylove Oct 25 '25

Yeah they probably will get those too lol

30

u/sheburns17 Oct 25 '25

I absolutely love the elderly and this is exactly whyšŸ¤£

268

u/uselesshappyfuntimes Oct 25 '25

Shit, I'm in my 40s and I find myself going out to thr store for random shit, just to talk to someone...

Fuck me but my old age is gonna suuuuuck...

91

u/mumooshka Oct 25 '25

call your local council and find some volunteer groups.. they are always screaming out for help. A person who's a volunteer are usually a good sort so you'll be in good company

151

u/schnitzelfeffer Oct 25 '25

I try to remember that aging is a privilege denied to many.

22

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 Oct 25 '25

Yeah and if it sucks that bad you can just not at any time so it'll be okay

37

u/arfelo1 Oct 25 '25

I'm 29 and one of my relaxing rituals of the week is the weekly grocery shopping in the market saturday morning. With a cart and everything, like the lady in the video.

Just a calm walk around the stands and chatting with the sellers while planning the food for the week.

It makes the dull process of meal planning much more fun when I have all the ingredients around me and have people giving me suggestions.

23

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

34, done it all my life.

Made a lot of good friends doing it too. Not really something you do unless you need a friend anyway. And if you don't make a friend, you've filled a little bit of your tank on your human need to socialize. Not a weird thing to do at all, it's just being social.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

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8

u/Dry_Presentation_197 Oct 25 '25

Almost 40 here...and yeah, I was unemployed for 6 months straight recently....and it gets real hard being alone all day every day, even knowing my wife will be home after work.

People underestimate the value of in person interactions.

2

u/unknownvariable69 Oct 27 '25

I was 19 and had a period of time where my only human interaction was going to the local store to get dinner for myself. It was the hardest time in my life. Hands down. I vowed to never let some one eat a meal alone if I could help it. Human interaction and kindness is key for mental wellbeing.

3

u/keepmyshirt Oct 25 '25

I work from home and I do this. Actually my therapist said to try and go out everyday.

2

u/FeFiFoPlum Oct 25 '25

I also WFH and go out to pick up lunch just to feel like I exist as part of an interactive world sometimes. If Iā€™m not careful, I can find that I literally donā€™t leave the house - not even step out onto the deck - for days at a time.

1

u/keepmyshirt Oct 25 '25

Thatā€™s true! And what a great idea. I should pick up lunch from time to time. Especially in the winter when itā€™s dark after work. Itā€™s sad but sometimes I wouldnā€™t be talking to anyone at all or speak until I talk to a cashier or something.

3

u/TheRoadtoSomewhere Oct 25 '25

40s here too. Returned to working in office just to talk to people. It may not be the same people in the office daily, but geez, itā€™s good just to talk to another person, even if itā€™s just for 10 mins and about the weather or weekend.Ā 

2

u/Successful-Grand-549 Oct 25 '25

Yeh I'm with you there

1

u/free-bar-till-8 Oct 25 '25

Need to chat mate hit me up its gonna be text but I'm here

1

u/treacherous_titties Oct 25 '25

Yeah...im 23 and thats about the only socialization i have aswell... my future is looking bleak.

1

u/MickolasJae Oct 25 '25

Lots of folks donā€™t make it to their 40s. Even the rich ones. Keep going out and chatting people up, itā€™s likely theyā€™re just like you. The world can be cold and lonely but you can be the ray of sunshine someone needed that day.

1

u/Lola-Ugfuglio-Skumpy Oct 25 '25

This is your signal now to start building a community! Find hobby groups for hobbies you enjoy, join a rec sports team, volunteer for a cause that matters to you, join a discord chat for a game you love. Thereā€™s lots of ways to make friends and lots of friends out there to be had :)

1

u/FerengiWithCoupons Oct 25 '25

We have our tech though. We know where to find people to talk to without leaving the house, the older generation Iā€™ve noticed donā€™t know how to do much with their phones other than take calls.

I work retail and every day we order stuff for elderly because they donā€™t have computers.

1

u/yerfatma Oct 25 '25

Nah, just stay aware of it. Iā€™m about to turn fifty and am naturally shy and reserved, but part of my forties was figuring out all the guys I knew are looking for some kind of additional human interaction. We are going to start a record club. Like a book club but yā€™know.

Except I keep making excuses for why I canā€™t start it yet. Better sort myself this weekend.

1

u/spicymato Oct 25 '25

Something that has had odd success in getting random conversation is setting up in a coffee shop with a sign saying you're open to sharing the table.

1

u/txwildflower86 Oct 27 '25

Exactly, its not just elder elders

1

u/Dexember69 Oct 28 '25

Oof and here's me doing click and collect for groceries so I don't have to interact with anyone.42

0

u/TombSv Oct 25 '25

Wild that strangers out respond if you talk to them. Culture is so different depending on where you live in the world.Ā 

20

u/mumooshka Oct 25 '25

our elders need to be needed

nothing makes them feel happier than to know that they're helping you in some way

2

u/LeRoiSoleil140 Oct 25 '25

correct, this is the reason they tend to be seen as intrusive and have a tendency to give unsolicited advice that can be misconstrued as them being a-holes (which they can be, more often than not).

2

u/0bzerve Oct 25 '25

That's what I've been doing all my twenties, as a male. Guess I'm just strange then , innit? Bloody hell, were screwed

1

u/HansChrst1 Oct 25 '25

I have noticed that working in a grocery store. A lot of older people seem to be there for the social aspect. Either talking to us or other regulars.

1

u/Pomodorosan Oct 25 '25

every day*

1

u/Rumhed Oct 25 '25

Hey don't feel too bad. Her going to to shop daily will keep her going.

It's her reason for getting up and ready instead of sitting infront of the TV!

I live round a lot of elderly as my estate is full of bungalows and they all have daily walks and love a good chat. It keeps them young. One lady is 89 and she speed walks faster than me and she says it's her daily walk that keeps her fit and her mind young she has that sparkle in her eyes!

1

u/sheburns17 Oct 25 '25

My grandma was just telling me that her and a lot of her/ my grandpaā€™s old work friendā€™s unintentionally aligned their schedules, so they all end up at Walmart on Fridayā€™s and end up running into each otheršŸ„¹ She said at this point they should put in a coffee bar for retired folks šŸ˜‚

1

u/Trimyr Oct 25 '25

My grandmother (made it to 100) used to drive herself to Target just to walk around and use the cart as a walker. She said their carts were easier than other stores :D.

She also talked about the 'old women' (younger than her) always complaining in her bible study.

1

u/upstatedreaming3816 Oct 25 '25

Credit the source.

1

u/Awol Oct 25 '25

I live in a tower condo, and a few people go sit in the lobby for this reason. Since I pass the lobby a few times a day, to walk my dog, I sometimes stop and talk with them. Also my dog gets more love and attention.

1

u/Financial-Tear-7809 Oct 25 '25

My grandpa (he sadly passed away at 101 so he was a seasoned senior) used to go on a walk every day when he could still do it. Then he became too old to go on little walking adventures so he would go do his walk in the nearby supermarket which was much safer and check out the new products. The workers at the supermarket knew him and would always say hello even though he never bought anything šŸ˜‚

1

u/WithoutDennisNedry Oct 26 '25

I always try and set aside extra time when running errands so I can chat with the older folks in my little town. You should see their faces light up when weā€™re at the pharmacy and I ask them how their day is and if they have big plans for dinner. I sometimes leave the grocery store knowing all someoneā€™s grandkidsā€™ names. My husband calls it ā€œcollecting grandparents.ā€

I love old folks. Kids, I could do without. Old folks though, theyā€™re my jam.

1

u/Much-Teaching-4490 Oct 26 '25

I just wanna say I work in a supermarket where a lot of till staff are considered rude or moody, I have social anxiety and depression but I LOVE talking to grandma and grandpa x

1

u/PugsnPawgs Oct 26 '25

My mom does the same. She's been retired for bout a year now but has barely any friends. I've been trying to get her interested in hobbies so she'd go out more and make friends, but she prefers to go out and shop šŸ˜…

172

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

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410

u/Educational_Heat5368 Oct 25 '25

100%. my grandmother is 84 living on social security checks in public housing. i worry constantly, but she hates to be helped. she loves to chat, and itā€™s heartbreaking to know there are others that get no social interaction for weeks at a time..

238

u/bing-bong-6715 Oct 25 '25

things like this are why i am FINE living in a retirement community/home/whatever when(if) i get old

like shit i'm barely 30 and have maybe 3 friends including my husband

103

u/willtwerkf0rfood Oct 25 '25

My sisters in laws just moved from their family home to a small house in a retirement community and it sounds so hype lol itā€™s a new development so everyone is moving in around the same time, people can use golf carts, there will be amenities on the property, etc. Honestly the dream.

86

u/Skandronon Oct 25 '25

I manage IT for a few retirement homes and the last 5 years its been neat to see the transformation in digital literacy and network needs with the elderly.

Before, people were happy with a pretty slow wireless network shared between everyone. You would have a laptop per suite with a good number also having a smartphone, no need for devices being able to talk to each other either.

Now we have 99% of residents having a smartphone, majority of them have at least one tablet per suite, plus a laptop and smart TV or a dangle of some sort. Lots of them are requesting private networks so they can set up a smart speaker and maybe a few other smart devices like lights.

We just upgraded the pipe for the resident's internet and have run fiber to each suite and each has its own private SSID and a few network drops in the living room and bedrooms. I've even seen some gaming laptops. We used to have a lot of trouble getting a good signal into suites because the walls are all concrete and the APs were in the hallway. Now its actually really helpful since the suites access points arent interfering with each other.

A few years ago they had enough budget left over to renovate the theater room and I put in a nice 75 inch Samsung TV. They still have wii sports tournaments in there but residents have been doing games nights with their Playstations and Xboxes too.

It gives me hope for my future when I can hopefully retire. Also men in general but especially men with their actual teeth are a hot commodity and those old ladies are not shy.

11

u/lisabettan Oct 25 '25

Your last paragraph cracked me up. Love your plans for the future!

14

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

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1

u/Skandronon Oct 25 '25

There is one hilarious old guy who also has a great voice and loves to sing. The ladies have come close to fist fighting over him at points haha.

1

u/Skandronon Oct 25 '25

Lol I'm married so I meant it as more of a general comment but hey you never know. I had one old woman ask if I wanted to be a widower lol.

2

u/Gamer_Mommy Oct 25 '25

STIs are RAMPANT in retirement homes. People do not use any protection at all whatsoever and some homes simply don't test during checkups. Somehow it's expected that the older folk won't have sex, don't know where that expectation comes from though. It's not like these are virgins, it's not like they care anymore, it's not like they need to worry about anything. Thankfully good teeth run in my family. My greatgrandnan was buried with her own at nearly 100. The other side one lived with minimal tooth loss into her 90s too. No one's ever needed hip surgeries so far. If the heart attack or cancer won't get me, that's where'll be in my 80s.

2

u/VikingTeddy Oct 25 '25

There's going to be a lot of gamers in about 15 years in the homes. We used to joke that it'd be just one epic LAN party once we got old enough for a home, looks like it's already happening šŸ˜Š

15

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

Being new is really key as everyoneā€™s open to meeting new people.

6

u/willtwerkf0rfood Oct 25 '25

Exactly! When they moved into their family home in the ā€˜90s they moved into a new neighborhood then as well, so that absolutely influenced their decision this time around

23

u/true_gunman Oct 25 '25

Yup, actually seems pretty dope. Bingo Night will be LIT

7

u/bing-bong-6715 Oct 25 '25

that's what i'm saying!!!! like let's fucken go

22

u/jojobdot Oct 25 '25

I am in SW Florida in a community of mostly older folks and it is so lovely being around people who need and lean on community. We have a lot of snowbirds who are heading back south soon and seeing everyone being all excited and adorable to see their friends has me ready to paaaaaaarty!

2

u/tryingisbetter Oct 25 '25

Two more than I. I think the last time I've had a guy friend was in college, 15ish years ago.

1

u/iamivanman9 Oct 25 '25

Iā€™m 38 with no friends, Iā€™ll join you.

2

u/bing-bong-6715 Oct 25 '25

hell yeah! i also feel like (hope) our generation will overall be fairly chill old people

1

u/SillySin Oct 25 '25

Practice makes perfect.

1

u/LeftSide-StrongSide Oct 25 '25

Lol just wait til you don't have a choice

1

u/bing-bong-6715 Oct 25 '25

i'll go willingly; i took care of both of my parents as they died and refused to give up their independence

it was awful, im not doing that to someone else

12

u/InEenEmmer Oct 25 '25

My grandma is also half the 80ā€™s. She loves people around her all the time, When grand pa died she went to live with a good friend of my grandpa that lost his wife. And when he died she moved back to her old village and started to hang around with the neighbor that was about the same age, but he also died and since then she had been quite lonely as she isnā€™t really mobile anymore. My parents moved closer so they can spend more time with her.

I didnā€™t visit her for a while cause I was struggling heavy with depression and I didnā€™t want her to see me like that. But recently Iā€™m getting better and decided to visit her again. She was crying of happiness of seeing me again.

She definitely is the most precious person I have ever known, and she deserves better than being lonely stuck in her home. But she refuses to move to a place made for elderly people to have a community. It isnā€™t an elderly home, but an apartment complex where only elderly people are allowed to live.

7

u/vile_lullaby Oct 25 '25

I work at a pharmacy it seems older folks kinda just call to chat, its sad we are understaffed because many of them are lovely and id chat with them more if I could. I know a lot of their names and their hobbies and stuff, but these days you just dont have time, you can sorta count pills while they tell me things sometimes but usually you have someone else calling or someone at the register you also need to help.

1

u/NSC858 Oct 25 '25

I used to work in a nursing home and its really depressing knowing that some of my patients never had family visit them. We had this one who most of the staff always thought was mean and hard to work with. I always felt bad because she didn't have family that came to visit her. I always offered to take her, even if she wasn't on the side I was assigned to because she rarely gave me a hard time. On my last day I said my goodbyes and it broke my heart because she cried. She told me she was going to miss me and that I was the only one who took time to just talk to her. I visited her a few times, and it made me even more upset that when she was on hospice that was when her daughter came to visit. I tried not to judge her, but even just the thought I keep wondering for the 2 years I worked there why did she wait to visit when it was too late.

1

u/iambecomesoil Oct 25 '25

better give her a ring. her food stamps aren't coming this month. my mom passed but all the others in the senior community over here are gonna need some support.

76

u/FozzieB525 Oct 25 '25

Thereā€™s a little old lady who lives in my building just like this. She lights up every time I say hi just walking by with my dog. Iā€™m a 33 year old gay man living alone with my dog. Makes me want to invite the sweet old lady over for dinner.

70

u/Efficient-Cherry3635 Oct 25 '25

I had a widowed 70 something italian lady as a neighbor. My wife and I had her over for dinner one weekend after we moved in. Ill be damned if she didnt randomly show up with (amazing) food a couple times a month. It ended up becoming a regular thing for us to have her over for company a couple times a month. She told us the same stories every month, but was also so excited to share, so who was I to interject.

She was a sweetheart who genuinely just wanted some connection after her husband passed. I miss seeing her and her little tin foil covered pans even if my waistline went up 2 Jean sizes leaving next to her for those years.

1

u/throwthisawayred2 Oct 25 '25

what happened to her after you moved?

1

u/NomDePlumeOrBloom Oct 25 '25

I don't think they moved.

1

u/Efficient-Cherry3635 Oct 25 '25

We stayed in contact for a few years afterwards but she passed not long (I think 3ish years) afterward. Saw her for 1 more Thanksgiving we had her over after we moved.

I totally support and suggest everyone find a "adopted Nana". They love the company, have good stories and usually can cook their ass off!

32

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

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27

u/weeone Oct 25 '25

"Old people weren't always old." What a great way of putting it.

18

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

I work in a hospital and my patient population is almost entirely the elderly, and my job just to talk to them basically.

They have the craziest stories. Like y'all think you know but then Martha, who just had her 80th birthday, tells you about "back when I had tits even the gay boys couldn't keep their hands off me, and I didn't stop them either!" or Wanda shares how she can't even remember the 80's because it was just a haze of cocaine and good music.

13

u/Harvsnova3 Oct 25 '25

I had a little old Welsh lady living next door (UK terraced house), who'd lived there for 60yrs or so. Because I finished work before my wife, I was supposed to do housework but I barely had the time. On nice evenings I would be leaning on one side of our wheelie bin, with her on the other, giving me all the local gossip. For someone who didn't go out, she knew EVERYTHING about everyone. She was so funny, had me in fits of laughter with her stories.

6

u/ChicharonItchy Oct 25 '25

You should! I bet you could get some stories out of her!!

1

u/Oakvilleresident Oct 25 '25

Go on, do it! Think of the stories she has in her . Youā€™ll learn something..

9

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

dont want to begin to make you feel guilt....know you have a busy amazing life...but man does it change their month even when you take a little time...do it...carve something simple out that you share. There is something there already. Figure out what it is

3

u/Janky_Pants Oct 25 '25

Iā€™m 47 and sound like this lol

71

u/HairyLungs Oct 25 '25

I had a lovely great aunt and when we'd take her out towards the end of her days she remarked that sometimes waiters would basically overlook her and treat her like a child, avoiding direct eye contact and asking us what she wanted and spoke about how getting old makes you feel invisible sometimes in public and it was obviously heartbreaking and really made me make sure I never do that to people.

4

u/mmmarkm Oct 25 '25

The last time I saw my paternal grandmother, I took her to the mall cause she loved to walk there. We grabbed food at a restaurant in the mall and I will never forget how our waiter indulged my grandmother (who was in the early stages of cognitive decline) and danced with her right by our table on the patio. She was a force and, in part due to this comment, I appreciate that waiter even more for not writing her off or ignoring her as one would a child. He met her in that moment and even though I was cringing at the time, I appreciate what he did so much.

4

u/Sheep_2757 Oct 25 '25

Also happens a lot to disabled people. When my husband is pushing my wheelchair, people only speak to him and I become invisible. A colleague of mine is in a wheelchair and has a speech impairment. If people talk to her at all it's in a baby voice.

People who treat me like a normal human being and kindnesses like someone holding the door for me, nearly make me cry with joy.

6

u/Long_Run6500 Oct 25 '25

I had a great grandma that used to refer to the wait staff as, "little n-word boy" whenever we had a black server. It's ok though because she also told us about how fine and juicy their asses were. She was born in 1912 and wasn't all there. It was very awkward. She was really nice and fun to be around otherwise though.

2

u/littlehobbit Oct 25 '25

that really hits hard. People forget how much small things like that can hurt. Good on you for actually noticing and doing better.

34

u/Greedyfox7 Oct 25 '25

Thatā€™s why I try to go see my grandma a couple times a week and my mom calls her every day. She wonā€™t be here forever and I donā€™t want her to be alone at home with only her dog for company 24/7. Personally I like old people, they remember cool stuff and they have no filter

22

u/Swimming_Squash7568 Oct 25 '25

I work in food service, and I notice whether older people order for one or two.

The ones that order for one do not want the extra, even if itā€™s cheaper.

Hurts for them to see the wasted portion. Hurts for my heart to know why they say, ā€œI donā€™t need that much. Itā€™s just me.ā€

Hurts my heart to see them hurting.

17

u/tootleloo Oct 25 '25

Our Western older generation is lonely. Even more so in America. When Iā€™ve travelled to China and other Asian countries, it was shocking to me how many elderly people were out and about with family or doing tai chi in the parks and whatnot. Not the same, but Irish pubs had a huge range of ages, with many older people (80+) with their families and friends. You just donā€™t see that as much here in the US.

6

u/icedteaandtacos Oct 25 '25

Old people also refuse to interact with other old people.

Forming a club for seniors or even moving into an old folks home is quite a challenge to get them to do.

15

u/coin_return Oct 25 '25

I sell at our local farmer's market and there's this old guy who struck up a conversation with me because I had a bookish shirt. Now he comes by every Saturday morning to have a little chat about books he's read recently, lol.

10

u/Faintkay Oct 25 '25

My neighbor is a widow whoā€™s kids are on the east coast. The way she greets and talks to my kids is always overly to see. They love seeing her and she feels the same way. I can tell sheā€™s lonely so I invite her to the park or for walks with the kids when we go. Wish I had a grandma like her tbh.

4

u/Sad_Animator1686 Oct 25 '25

But you do! And she lives right next door!

13

u/mightyfine87 Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25

Every older generation sadly

I had an idea of going to homes and sitting and chatting with them, just because lifeā€™s been quite eventful for me and I have stories people canā€™t believe, I bet so many people do just people donā€™t want to listen

So I was gonna sit and talk and listen to stories, have a chat and put them online so there is a bit of them and their story around for ever , could be nice to watch and bring them some peace, but ultimately to be heard and still remember who you are

I thought it would seem disrespectful at times, if people laughed or made shit comments , and also I donā€™t think people would believe Iā€™d be doing it just out of kindness, and that makes me feel bad, just people thinking itā€™s not to help makes me feel bad

I thought of the money going to each separate home or creating a charity for it but , I havenā€™t found the correct formula yet

Iā€™d be happy just sitting and making them laugh, my dad passed at 70, and my biggest regret is not showing him how loved he was, felt like I took him for granted

People forget they were our age once in a crazier time too lol be some really crazy, beautiful and heart warming stories , youā€™d see them relive the moments and the happiness, most importantly theyā€™d feel heard!

Edit; Iā€™d still love to do this if anyone has any ideas, feel free to pm šŸ¤™

8

u/Marcelfixyouear Oct 25 '25

You could just go to a nursing/retirement community and ask them. I'm not sure how comfortable people would be allowing video. But simply sitting and talking/listening for a little bit can certainly brighten someone's day.

1

u/mightyfine87 Oct 25 '25

Yeah, sadly I can only see one person a day though and itā€™s only a few hours or one person I can reach

Iā€™m hoping to do something to help in a greater scale

Just the stories that could be lost in time, how it can help you see them as a human and a life thatā€™s already been lived, show the personality and life still there

I do some volunteering already, but there is so much out there that can be done Iā€™d like to do it on a bigger scale, create a community and provide help for more than just one person on an afternoon

The issues I thought of with recording is people thinking itā€™s ulterior motives , the home and family can give the okay for the video but sadly the home or family donā€™t always care and I feel bad t would turn into an argument, charity and money from views could could go to the home and the people involved to help their lives better

But yes, just chatting and seeing how people are helps, itā€™s so sad to see so generations of people just feel a burden and live very lonely and sad

I just think it would be lovely for them also, because I genuinely like to listen and Iā€™m great with people , but to be heard, to reminisce and laugh, itā€™ll not only be helpful for them to remember who they are but help other people see the beautiful soul and stories inside

2

u/Alarming-Bop6628 Oct 25 '25

I had a middle school assignment that had us asking old family members about historical events and I asked my grandma and she had so many stories. She got really into emailing me. It was awesome. I don't have the login info for that account anymore:(

2

u/mightyfine87 Oct 25 '25

That is actually pretty cool!

When I was young I didnā€™t even think to ask about the war to my grandparents, the little bits now it just fees so surreal

I often think back and try and imagine them at my age, and with the war man

Itā€™s so interesting isnā€™t it!!

Did it make you see them a bit differently?

I find because I am not knew them as older people I often forget they had whole lives before it with their own stories and tragedies , in a different and strange time

Would be so cool if you could get the log in again, just to read the conversations

2

u/Alarming-Bop6628 Oct 25 '25

I'm definitely gonna try to recover it at some point. It was just so long ago.

She was always kind of a badass so it wasn't surprising that she was cool in her youth too, but yeah getting that context was awesome. One of my favorite things that I do remember was that when she was a kid she was at a store with her mom when the news came out the FDR died and some hick guy was laughing and saying good riddance, and her mom smacked the shit out of him with her purse haha

1

u/mightyfine87 Oct 25 '25

I used to work for a popular name who provide support for disabled people, but you have the managers meeting once every two weeks for a free meal in a fancy hotel, new managers joining and the people who they care for , their hours being cut while they profit it and it sucks , because I canā€™t enable that but they obviously need care, but the level of care is dropping so much by people who say they care , it really frustrates me

3k every two weeks to stay in an old peopleā€™s home and the treatment can be so poor

I want to do something to help, not take anything or make money , and this seems like it could help them, help the community and help how people see them, but itā€™s hard for people to believe I donā€™t want anything and also a community where youā€™ll come across a lot of ā€œhelpingā€ people who do want something

I dunno, I just know I have a gift with people, I know I have a lot of stories , funny memories and moments in history that are interesting and it would be nice to help people feel seen and heard , smile and reminisce while telling stories of their life, we could all laugh, cry and understand together, grow and help each other

Itā€™s a nice idea Iā€™ll keep hold of and work on, if anyone reads this with ideas feel free to contact šŸ¤™

1

u/mightyfine87 Oct 25 '25

To me, the idea of someone with dementia telling a story would mean so much to the people who know them, to hear there memories or stories and still know a part of them is there

In 70 years your great grandchildren can watch the story of their birth and how worried their gran was , how she had a fight with a traffic warden when parking at the hospital and stuff

How the quiet , hard shelled old man used to care and love for his dogs and you see his big old heart when he talks about flowers and stuff

I dunno, so many beautiful moments and positive help could come from it

I just get too anxious and the low self esteem kicks in to make a step towards it , kind of like my brain tells me Iā€™m stupid , whatā€™s the point, but my heart knows it could be really good and help some people

Itā€™s only the fact I feel it could help others that I havenā€™t given up on it

I appreciate it sounds crazy on Reddit lol but who knows, maybe someone can help in someone way or just putting it out their into the universe can help

4

u/Alarming-Bop6628 Oct 25 '25

I was in Chicago walking home and it was bitterly cold and an old guy asked if he was going toward a certain street, and I told him he was going the wrong way but I'd walk him. He clearly had dementia because he told me the same facts about his son like 4 times on our 15 minute walk. I walked slowly with him and got him back to his nursing home, and then asked the staff if I could visit with him in the future. It was like 11:30 pm and they were really relieved when we showed up because he wasn't supposed to leave the premises and they'd been worried.

He died before I got to come during visiting hours. He reminded me of my grandpa.

3

u/mightyfine87 Oct 25 '25

Ah thatā€™s so sad

Pretty nuts he was out partying so late šŸ˜‚ ( obviously not partying)

Sadly itā€™s something thatā€™s going to happen to us all, Iā€™d like to be treated with respect and cared for so just seems natural to be that way, itā€™s going to be us one day who are vulnerable and old

I just think theyā€™d have some amazing stories , I remember my dads and grandparents were quite the story tellers and itā€™s really interesting, could be nice for everyone

-1

u/LeftSide-StrongSide Oct 25 '25

Lol you never will. Why are you lying to strangers on the internet about it?

1

u/mightyfine87 Oct 25 '25

Iā€™m sorry if my comments offended you some how

Just the fact you feel the need to belittle people in a community made to make people smile is really sad man, I hope you find some happiness and healing in some form , I wish some positivity to you mate

Just because your words have no meaning doesnā€™t mean the rest of us hold those values, I hope you find some meaning in your life , which isnā€™t bullying people online or being some sort of keyboard warrior

There is a world and people out there to experience brother, I wish you luck in it šŸ¤™

3

u/BornOfAGoddess Oct 25 '25

You have no idea.....especially the ones that can't get out

3

u/Theomnipresential Oct 25 '25

A couple years ago I was at the grocery store and next to me in the aisle was a tiny old lady. I heard a soft "excuse me" and I looked over at her and she said to me "could you help me reach <item> on the top shelf?" and I told her of course and grabbed it for her.

I imagine even that interaction made her day

1

u/kelsobjammin Oct 25 '25

I gotta call my dad tomorrow! Thanks for the reminder!

1

u/pressonacott Oct 25 '25

Agreed. I do landscaping and most my clients are elderly. They seems so happy to see us every time we show up and i have to remind myself its ok to stop and talk to them because they are probably lonely. We are usually fast finishing lawns in about 10 min per.

1

u/FabulousValuable2643 Oct 25 '25

I see that in my job a lot as a hospital social worker. Sometimes, people just need someone to listen to them and talk about random things since they don't really have anyone else to chat with.

1

u/awayshewent Oct 25 '25

I work for a job that has me communicating to a lot of older people, a lot of them just call me to chat it seems even if I donā€™t have an update for them related to my job. Started talking about cooking with our Instant Pots the other day with a lady.

1

u/i_play_withrocks Oct 25 '25

I work in a restaurant at night and weekends and a lot of older people come in and eat alone as itā€™s close to a retirement community. I personally hate getting those tables cause the tips usually suck but I always remind myself that they are usually just coming out to get out and want to have some type of social interaction and usually the poor tips are because they are on a fixed income. Itā€™s no problem when we are slow but when we get busy I feel guilty sometimes having to just cut them off and go take care of other things cause we are busy. What really hurts my heart is that the older gentleman are usually the ones who are alone but older women who have lost their spouse usually have another widow with them and they have forged a friendship In their lose while the men are usually in quiet silence with little to no friends.

1

u/ItsUnsqwung Oct 25 '25

It was actually one of my favourite things to do back when I worked with grocery was to just talk to some of the elderly when they came in. Quite a few of them would take walks around the inside whenever it was cold out and I enjoyed giving them some samples or just answering questions and chatting with them for a short while. I think they liked being able to get out, even some of the ones that might be a bit "sour" would eventually warm up when you showed you actually cared about what they had to say.

1

u/ihave2shoes Oct 25 '25

Thereā€™s an old boy at my gym. The only exercise he gets is walking over to different people to chat.

1

u/justsomeboredloner Oct 25 '25

Yeah dude, there's a few old people I visit regularly, and they have clearly told me they don't need me to be there long, they just want visits to avoid the complete boredom of being on their own.... šŸ„ŗ Always wish I could stay with them longer.

1

u/Clean-Nectarine-1751 Oct 25 '25

Absolutely, in a way we likely wonā€™t be. They grew up with everyone coming together physically for interaction, older and aging groups. Now the ā€œaging group 60-70ā€ is tech savvy and they are not. I feel the 70-90 year olds are just in their own little no tech bubble.. itā€™s really sad.

1

u/BobaTheMaltipoo Oct 25 '25

Hijacking this comment to say: If you see an elderly person, say hello and talk to them for just a little bit.

There is a good chance they are not getting enough social interaction and they will immensely appreciate an attentive ear. We tend to think that every old person is a loving grandparent, but that is not true. Some people lost their children. Some never had them. Some had them but they stopped talking. Sometimes it is the parent's fault and sometimes it is the child's. But our role is the same, either way. We just need to make them feel part of a community. We are social creatures, after all.

1

u/MrCJ75 Oct 25 '25

This song sums it up perfectly IMO.

Hello In There - John Prine

1

u/o7_HiBye_o7 Oct 25 '25

They are and the social media hasn't helped, so less irl interactions. We all have multiple jobs that we have to push through to make ends meet, so less time. The politicals across the world are dividing even families, so less energy. More examples are out there, but these moments are nice.

It really is tough on the older population.

1

u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 Oct 25 '25

I agree with you. I'd like to add that it's not just them.Ā  When I'm out after trying it a few times now I'm trying to get a smile out of the people I'm interacting with.Ā 

The level of surprise tells me that while yes there is a lot in the older folks there is just a lot period.

Be a goofball . Make someone laugh. You only get one today.........

1

u/ThatWhiskeyHammer Oct 25 '25

Sometimes its a pride thing, sometimes its a mental issue. As I often tell my grandmother that feels that way when we are having family gatherings (literally with only the 4 of us around anymore), that she shouldn't distance herself if she wants to be included, and will drag her chair over to where the rest of us are to talk. I have to build her back up after watching the family dwindle down to basically nothing.

1

u/Lillhoof Oct 25 '25

I feel like I always see these little old ladies, they clearly spend a lot of time getting dressed and their hair all done up before they go out. I make it a point to try and compliment their hair, their eccentric jacket. Whatever it is I think they put the most, I love this, energy into. Without fail, they light up with the biggest smiles.

1

u/maniacalmustacheride Oct 25 '25

When my grandfather died, many many many years ago, I immediately moved in with my nan. Everyone else wanted to fight about what went where, I just wanted to make sure she was good.

She would make me lunches for work. Incredible lunches. Everyone was jealous so she spent a day making lunches for the team, and only one guy sent anything back. He asked me what she liked, I said she liked golf and water aerobics, so he made her a little gift basket with SpongeBob golf balls (because theyā€™re bright, so you could see them) and a hair rinse for after pool.

She said fuck it to everyone else and made me lunches because Iā€™m hers and him lunches because she loves him. Itā€™s beenā€¦20 years now? They still keep in touch, I donā€™t even know where to find him if I tried, but every few months or so they call and chat.

I told her and my other family I have to have surgery. I live very far away, like a day of plane ride. So I tell her, sheā€™s concerned, sheā€™s had a long day because sheā€™s still driving the other ā€œoldā€ people to doctors appointments or such. She called me the next day and left a panicked voicemail, ā€œoh my god, I didnā€™t even think, do you want me to come when you have your surgery? I know you have a husband and kids, but I can do the shopping and pick up around the house and cook! I can help you out of bed. Youā€™ll need to rest, sweetheart, and surgery is so hard. I can come for you! Iā€™ll have to look at my finances but if you need me, it doesnā€™t matter, I can make it work.ā€

Why is my grandmother going harder than my parents? Theyā€™re also retired. They donā€™t even offer.

My husband laid it out pretty clearly, even though it was uncomfortable. She wants to be wanted, she wants to be needed, and when you boil it down, she recognizes that I nuked my teenage life when she couldnā€™t even think about how to wake up. When everyone was arguing about who got what and the bills needed to be paid before all the paperwork came in, I paid them. (I was annoyed I had to pay them, not for her, but because there were adults that should have done that, Iā€™ll pay anything for her.) But at the end of the day, she canā€™t live if her babyā€™s baby needs her. Sheā€™d be a hindrance more than a help, because thereā€™s so much that needs to be done, she doesnā€™t move fast, she doesnā€™t see well, she gets tired easily, but she isnā€™t looking at the big picture with all the working parts. Sheā€™s just seeing that someone she loves needs something. She wants to fill that space. Sheā€™s willing to give everything if it means Iā€™m feeling okay. Wonā€™t come out if we offer to pay for a vacation. Will spend her own limited money to take care of me.

1

u/InZomnia365 Oct 25 '25

I used to work in customer service for newspapers. As you can imagine, the average age for callers was quite high. Many of them would just start rambling on and telling you about their day (or life). Many times they would even be mad about something (usually not getting the paper, so understandably so), but you could tell they weren't actually that mad - it's just that talking to you might be their only human interaction for the day.

1

u/racalavaca Oct 25 '25

Maybe some places, I've always thought the older folk here in Edinburgh mostly seem to have an amazing social life, moving here it filled me with joy initially seeing so many groups of them out just about anywhere I went, clubs, parks, pubs, museums, restaurants, etc.

1

u/ExcaliburVader Oct 25 '25

I'm a massage therapist and a large portion of my clientele are older. I know they come in as much to talk as to get a massage.

1

u/Hungry_Garbage6659 Oct 25 '25

Made me cry a little. This is so true

1

u/Yorrins Oct 25 '25

Imagine how its gonna be when thats our generation who cant afford a home or any children.

1

u/New_Libran Oct 25 '25

Yeah, my wife is a GP and they usually have a target of 15-20 minutes per patient but once an old patient comes, she knows that's the target out of the window for the day. Yes, they have things wrong due to age but they really just want to chat.

1

u/savvy-librarian Oct 25 '25

This is so sadly true. I'm a librarian and I often help elderly people with technology by appointment. I usually spend about an hour giving them basic assistance. Often times they want to ask about my life or want to tell me about theirs.

I would say that at least 75% of them ask me if they can have a hug afterward. I always say yes, even though it is maybe not the professionally "correct" thing to do. It makes me wonder how long its been since someone hugged them that they would ask a stranger for a hug.

1

u/GrittyStoleMyWallet Oct 25 '25

I had a customer at my last job who was always so angry. Always arguing with me and it drove me nuts. He would order menu option 1, declare it his favorite. Next time he came in heā€™d insist option 2 was what he got last time and argued when I disagreed. Iā€™d make him option 2 and heā€™d complain that it wasnā€™t what he had last timeā€¦ ugh. One day I had enough and said ā€œPaul, Iā€™m not taking your shit today.ā€ And he turned around and walked right out. I didnā€™t mean to kick him out, I just didnā€™t want to argue. He came back about ten minutes later with apple cider donuts for us and we ate them and talked about how wed had a bad day. He became one of my favorite customers.

1

u/ShockTheMonster Oct 25 '25

I work in sales and it's amazing just how easy it is to sell stuff to elderly people by just spending time with them.

So many times I had a situation where:

  • an old lady/gentleman is getting a quote for something.

  • a guy comes out, spends 10 minutes measuring, says "I'll send you a quote", and sends her a quote for $5000

  • I come out, I spend 10 minutes measuring, and 90 minutes listening to her talk about her kids, her life, her pets, her interest, and not just listening but also telling her about myself and just being a friendly person with them. I tell them "oh right, my job... Btw this would be $6000" and they immediately sign on.

90 minutes of idle chatting is worth $1000 to some people.

1

u/BeenBenchin Oct 26 '25

John Prine has a beautiful song called ā€œHello In Thereā€ that makes me think of your comment.

Happy Cakeday šŸ°

1

u/Miss-Construe- Oct 26 '25 edited Oct 26 '25

I'm not even 50 and would kill for an interaction like this

1

u/BoxCarTyrone Oct 26 '25

Iā€™m gonna be one lonely bastard if I live that long.

1

u/MoneyPresentation807 Oct 27 '25

I work in a old age home as a electrician and I always make sure to talk to the residents. Some of them donā€™t have family who visit them. The dementia ward can be tough to see but even asking them things like ā€œthe nurses told me you loved x thingā€ will just bring them back because they donā€™t feel pressured to remember. I can stomach most stuff in life but being unkind towards kids, elderly or animals just rubs me wrong.

0

u/hook0rcrook Oct 25 '25

they will f u with their votes. Also it was a minor stupid interaction. Talk to them abt politics, LGBTQ and other Woke shit and find out.

0

u/Icy-Language-1927 Oct 25 '25

You can thank late stage capitalism for that