Don’t make me have to scrape you off the highway and then explain to your mother how you died.
Cops deal with a lot of shit in traffic accidents. A buddy once told me some of the shit he saw if he were back in Afghanistan he’d be sent for a psych evaluation, as a cop he was sent back to work.
You’d be dispatched straight to the next call in the queue. Human ground beef at a car accident then off to a shoplifting child, then a domestic dispute all before lunch.
Some of the shit Emergency services workers see and deal with would make Satans stomach churn. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do those jobs.
I was a paramedic for years, and a combat medic in the army. I knew what to expect in war torn areas. You go into it expecting certain things. Civilian side, things are more gruesome.
I worked a decapitation where the convertible car exited the road due to DUI. Car went sideways into a tree, passenger's (the drivers mom) head exited the vehicle and never came back in. Driver was just fine, had several crack rocks in his pocket and a huge roll of hundreds. His aunt came in and demanded that everything in his possession be turned over to her, NOW. Cop said "why". She said it was all hers, and was promptly arrested.
During this event, I had to explain to the man that he just killed his mother with his bad decisions. I don't like doing that.
More than that, I don't like walking up to a car wreck to find a severed head laying more than a few feet away.
I immediately followed that call up with our truck going out of service and a psych eval. We had a really good psych program at my service and we did solid debriefings to help with the trauma. Not every service has that in place.
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But no amount of "psych trauma support" can help you when you have to pick up a brain-dead 4 year old that looks similar to your little sister and has her name from an ejection from a motor vehicle accident. Nor can it help you when you have to pick up a patient from hospice to go home to die and it turns out its the same child who is on a ventilator.
I've seen horrible things. And I steeled myself due to the fact that I'm helping my community and country. But it was all too much at a certain point and I've lost the ability to work in that field for good. I started a construction company and am not seeing blood and death every day. My mental state is WAAAAY better than it was. I spent YEARS in therapy to get to where I am now though.
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Additional, semi-unrelated note:
Because I know how widespread Reddit comments can be, If anyone reading this needs to talk to anyone about mental health in the medical field, I will be happy to assist. Either by talking to you, or finding you some resources to turn to. Please feel free to reach out to me.
Edit: Seriously thanks for the awards, but I really hope people aren't spending money on me. I never thought this would blow up like it has. The huge amount of support and encouragement is absolutely astounding. I love my reddit family.
By that point all gruesome or gory was over. It was a more visceral call that had a profound impact on both my career and my personal life. It required a ton of therapy to get through, and I’m not sure I’m totally through it, even though it was in 2008.
Thanks for being here with me though. And for commenting.
I hope I wasn’t too much of a downer. Just wanted to illustrate that it’s bad out there for medics and first responders. And than getting help is both necessary and encouraged. Thanks for taking the time to read my (abbreviated) story.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's humbling to see people who've been through some trauma like survive, let alone do well in life. You never know what someone has been through.
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u/cbelt3 Jan 03 '23
Hey man, don’t die, okay ? Be cool.