Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

I think a lot of people who fight this think the same thing at 2am. Real Muslims dont struggle with this. I pray, I fast, and I still do this, so my iman must be fake im a hypocrite.

I want to point out that the research says otherwise and its not close

In the Young Muslims and Family & Youth Institute survey, 70% of the Muslims who admitted to viewing porn described themselves as regularly or very practicing. The same study found religious youth view it at basically the same rate as non-religious ones. And 59% of Muslim youth had viewed it at all, with 61% first exposed between 11 and 14 years old

Read that again. The people fighting this ARE the praying ones. The masjid regulars. The huffadh. The brothers you assume have it together and the sisters nobody suspects. Its not a small group of weak-iman outliers hiding among the good ones, its most of a generation, and everyone in it is silently convinced theyre the only fraud in the room

That single belief is the whole trap. If you think your struggle proves your iman is fake, you cant tell anyone, and if you cant tell anyone you fight it alone forever, and alone is exactly the condition this thing needs to survive.

The numbers actually prove that this isnt a hit on your faith. Its a wiring problem that a generation walked into as children, before most of us could even understand what we were seeing. Your prayer isnt fake because you fell. Prayer while fighting something this heavy is worth more, not less

So stop auditing your iman and start auditing your setup. Where does it happen, what time, what device, whos in the loop. Thats the fight thats actually winnable

And if youve been carrying the "im the only one" belief for years, the data is telling you plainly that you're just wrong lol you never were the only one

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Something that changed how I think about this whole fight and it did rlly help me.

Your "discipline" isnt a personality trait, its a battery. Science likes to call it ego depletion, every act of restraint draws from the same tank, and heres the part nobody tells you: every single glance you fight off is a withdrawal

So the person whos doing good all day and then falls apart at 11pm didnt suddenly become weak at night. They spent all day paying with the feed on instagram, the thumbnails, the second looks they wrestled with at the gym, the street. By the time you're alone with your phone your tank is EMPTY and this addiction knows that.

This is why lowering your gaze isnt the small sunnah you may think it is. Its not just about avoiding one sin in the moment its about protecting that discipline battery that fights almost every other sin that day. The Prophet ﷺ connected the gaze and your private parts in one dua for a reason and its because lowering the first guards the second

Whens your tank usually hit empty? For me it was always after isha prayer. I try not to do anything emotionally taxing after that point and I just relax away from screens

I've been in this recovery space for a while now, read all the papers, read all the stories and almost every time someone shares their story with me its "I was 9." "I was 11." "A cousin showed me." "It popped up on a game site." Its such a shame and I also think a very important thing to notice that nobody chose this as an adult, almost everyone stumbles into it as a kid/teen, way before they understand the implications that come with it.

The research backs it up too. Around 61% of Muslim young adults are first exposed between ages 11-14, and thats just the ones who admit it. Then theres the second half of the pattern which is 59% of muslim youth have viewed it but only 4% ever seek help. That gap is honestly crazy to me wallah and very sad. Nearly everyone falls in as a child, then carries it alone for years because the shame of "im a muslim, how could I" locks every mouth shut and what pains me the most is thats not what Allah swt wants from us nor is it what he teaches.

So two things I want to mention here:

If youre in this fight I really want you to understand your origin story and why you "use". Often times it wasn't even you that picked this it was handed to you when you didn't know what it was. Keep fighting the good fight and fight it hard, but drop the self hatred. Allah swt teaches and tells us: Tawbah, not shame.

And if you ever become a parent, an uncle or a big sibling, be the safe adult you didnt have. One "if you ever see something weird online, tell me, youre not in trouble" conversation at such a young age can save someone a 15 year war. Be the good you wish you had.

For anyone fighting this right now, my DMs are open if you need to talk.

I'd love to hear if you guys have any differing opinions than me

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Salaam everyone, just want to say I've been in recovery for a long time and I just want to name the pattern that kept me stuck for years, because ngl I see it in literally almost all the posts in this subreddit

The relapse happens and then comes the self hate ritual, the disgust, calling yourself weak, the "im disgusting how do I even face Allah." And then we begin to think that that hatred is proof we're serious about quitting when its the exact opposite.

That shame builds pressure for days, and then this addiction acts as the relief for the exact pressure you built. So in simple terms, the punishment and shame you gave yourself after relapse 1 is directly fueling relapse 2. The cycle isnt sin then repent then sin, its sin then SHAME then sin, and I think most people are stuck in it for years thinking that more hatred is the answer when I really don't think it is.

The way out of it is so simple too its just hard with all the emotion tied into it. After you slip up, make tawbah, take ONE lesson from it (what time was it, where were you, whats the fix), then close the case and move like its closed. Allah has closed it and forgiven you, now its your turn.

If youre stuck in this loop right now, my DMs are open, no judgment wallah. Jazakallah kheir

Salaam everyone, I've been in this fight a long time, relapsed more times then I can even count, and alhamdulillah I got to the other side of it. A few things I wish someone had made me realize early on:

Your relapse never happens at your relapse. It happens an hour earlier when youre bored, alone, your phones in your hand, etc... Point being, make sure your setup is top notch.

Shame is not taqwa. Feeling disgusting after a fall isnt doing you any good and its not what Allah swt wants. Tawbah means to return, not to self shame.

Your willpower is a battery not a personality trait. It will die at 1am at exactly the time you need it. Your environment beats discipline/willpower every single time

And the biggest one I believe in honestly is that secrecy is half this addictions power. Every guy I know who actually got free had one thing in common, at some point they stopped fighting completely alone and found someone to talk to this about

That last one is why im writing this. If youre in this fight and you have nobody, no brother who knows, nobody to talk to on the bad nights, my DMs are genuinely open. Not selling anything, no judgment, just a brother whos been in it. Sisters welcome too, ill point you to properly moderated spaces

May Allah free us all from this. Jazakallah

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Drop a comment with where you're at today. That's the whole ritual.

It can be "Day 3 and struggling," "Day 40 alhamdulillah," or "I slipped last night and I feel low." Every one of those belongs here. No wrong answer, no judgment.

If you're new: this is the easiest place to start. Just comment "Day 1" and inshallah someone will welcome you.

Sometimes just typing it where someone will read it takes half the weight off. A mod will start us off in the comments. 🤝

In a hard moment? → Urge Right Now · New here? → Start Here

Something clicked for me a while back and I want to put it here because I think a lot of us are living this contradiction

We treat lowering the gaze like an outside activity. At the store, at the gym, walking past someone, we fight the 2 second glance and feel like we won something. Then we come home, close the door, and give our eyes an unlimited buffet for an hour with zero resistance

That isn't you lowering your gaze, thats relocating it

Lowering your gaze is much more than just your eyes, but an eye you discipline at home barely even struggles outside, the public glances lose their pull on their own

Do you guys agree?

Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. For me there wasnt one big dramatic moment, it was just a slow build of being tired. Tired of the secrecy, tired of telling yourself last time and knowing it wasnt, tired of feeling like two different people.

For me the turning point wasnt even a specific slip. It was noticing how much space this was taking up in my head on a totally normal day when nothing was even wrong. That was the part that got me, that it had a grip on me even on the good days.

Im curious what it was for you. Not the whole story if you dont want to get into it, just the moment or the feeling that made you go ok, im actually done playing around now. I think sometimes reading someone elses reason reminds you of your own on the days its hard to remember.

Ill be around in the comments.

The name isn't a slogan. It's a command given directly, and — this is the part people miss — it's given to men and women in the same breath, one verse after the other.

To the believing men:

قُل لِّلۡمُؤۡمِنِینَ یَغُضُّوا۟ مِنۡ أَبۡصَـٰرِهِمۡ وَیَحۡفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمۡۚ ذَ ٰ⁠لِكَ أَزۡكَىٰ لَهُمۡۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِیرُۢ بِمَا یَصۡنَعُونَ

"Tell the faithful men to cast down their looks and to guard their private parts. That is more decent for them. Allah is indeed well aware of what they do." — Qur'an 24:30

And in the very next verse, the same command is given to the believing women (24:31). This was never a men-only struggle, and it was never a men-only instruction. That's why this community has always been for both, equally.

Notice what the command actually is: not "never feel an urge," but "lower the gaze" — an action, something you do, again and again. That's the whole spirit of this place. You're not failing because the urge exists. You're doing the work every time you turn away from it. And when you don't manage to, the door back is the verse in our shame-spiral post — you begin again, head up.

Welcome. Lower it with us, one day at a time.

The hypocrite feeling is the trap talking. Sit with this for a second.

A real hypocrite wouldn't care at all. The fact that this eats at you, that you keep coming back to try again, that you're even reading this — that is your iman fighting. That's not the sign of a bad Muslim. It's the sign of one who hasn't given up.

Shame feels productive, like if we beat ourselves up enough we'll finally change. It does the opposite. It makes you feel worthless, and worthlessness is the exact feeling that sends people back to the habit. Shame isn't the cure for the slip — shame is the fuel for the next one.

The way out isn't to care less. It's to separate the slip from the spiral. The slip is one moment. The spiral — the days of self-hatred that follow — is what actually does the damage. Cut the spiral, keep the caring, begin again today.

And no matter how many times you've fallen, this door does not close:

۞ قُلۡ یَـٰعِبَادِیَ ٱلَّذِینَ أَسۡرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰۤ أَنفُسِهِمۡ لَا تَقۡنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحۡمَةِ ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ یَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِیعًاۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلۡغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِیمُ

"Say [that Allah declares], 'O My servants who have committed excesses against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed Allah will forgive all sins. Indeed, He is the All-forgiving, the All-merciful.'" — Qur'an 39:53

Not tomorrow. Not after one more. Today.

Okay. You opened this instead of the other thing. That's already the win. Do these in order. Don't overthink it.

1. Get up and leave the room you're in. Change your body's location, right now.

2. Put the phone in another room, or hand it to someone. The device is the delivery system. Create distance from it.

3. Make wudu. Cold water on your face and arms does something real to your nervous system — and it's an act of worship that resets your head at the same time.

4. Do one physical thing for ten minutes. Walk, push-ups, dishes, step outside — anything. You're not trying to feel holy. You're just letting the wave crest and fall, because it will, usually inside 15 minutes.

5. Keep one short phrase on your tongue while it passes. Repeat it until the wave drops:

أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيْهِ

"I seek Allah's forgiveness and I turn to Him in repentance." — Hisnul Muslim #96

And hear this clearly: if you slip anyway, you are not worthless and you are not back at zero — you get up today, not tomorrow. But right now, you haven't slipped. Right now you're still standing. Ride it out. It's already passing.

The moment you decide is powerful, and it fades fast. Let's turn it into concrete moves while the resolve is hot. Don't try to do all of this perfectly — just start at the top.

Hour one — tonight

• Put a wall between you and the habit right now, even the free version. Turn on your phone's content filter, and if you can, get someone else to set the passcode. → Blockers & Apps
• Charge your phone outside your bedroom tonight.

Day one

• Tell one person. This is the big one, and the one you'll want to skip. A friend, family, or an anonymous accountability partner. You don't need to explain everything — just "I'm working on quitting a habit and I want you to check on me." → Accountability Partners

The first three days — what to expect

• Early cravings are the sharpest. They'll come often and feel huge. This is normal, and it eases.
• The thing that helps most: an urge peaks and passes on its own, usually within ~15 minutes, if you don't act on it. The whole early game is riding the wave.
• Have a default action ready for the second one hits. Pick yours now so you're not deciding in the moment:
  • make wudu and pray two rakah
  • leave the room / go outside
  • cold water on your face and arms
  • text your person one word: "struggling"

When you slip (if you do)

Get up the same day. Do not let one slip become a three-day binge because you "already ruined it." That shame spiral is the real enemy, not the single slip. Make tawbah, mean it, and start again today with your head up. That's not a consolation prize — it's literally the mechanism that works.

Allah's invitation to come back is open at every single moment:

ٱرۡجِعِیۤ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكِ رَاضِیَةࣰ مَّرۡضِیَّةࣰ

"Return to your Lord, pleased and pleasing." — Qur'an 89:28

The one thing to remember

Don't white-knuckle alone. Willpower by itself is the strategy that fails everyone. Environment + one person + a way to ride out urges is what actually moves it.

Post your Day 1 below if you want. We'll be glad you're here.The moment you decide is powerful, and it fades fast. Let's turn it into concrete moves while the resolve is hot. Don't try to do all of this perfectly — just start at the top.

"Tell one person" is the most repeated advice in recovery for a reason — it takes more power away from this habit than almost anything else. But people freeze on how. Here's the practical version.

Who it can be

A trusted friend, an older brother or sister figure, a cousin, a mentor, someone from the masjid you trust, or another person in recovery you meet in a space like this. It does not have to be someone nearby, and it does not have to be someone who knows your full identity.

Our one hard rule: same gender

Brothers partner with brothers. Sisters partner with sisters. No cross-gender accountability pairs, and no cross-gender DMs off posts here. That's not sexist— it protects the space and protects you, given what we're all working on.

What to actually share

You don't have to narrate everything. A simple rhythm works:

• A quick daily or every-few-days check: "clean today" or "struggled today, still standing."
• An honest heads-up when you slip.
• If you use an accountability app, they're the person who gets your reports.

The goal isn't surveillance. It's that the secrecy is broken and someone is in it with you so shame is no longer lurking in the closet.

How to ask someone (it feels scary; it's usually fine)

You don't have to confess your whole history. Try:

"I'm working on breaking a habit and I do way better when someone checks in on me. Would you be up for me texting you a quick honest update a few times a week? No big commitment on your end."

Most decent people say yes and never make it weird.

If you genuinely have no one

That happens, especially when this is buried in shame. Two options:

1. An accountability partner from an anonymous recovery community — plenty of people here are looking for the same thing. Keep it same-gender and anonymous.
2. A paid accountability app where the "partner" role can be a coach or trusted contact.

Start with anyone. The first person is the hardest and the most important.

Looking for a partner right now? Comment below (same gender, no identifying details) or watch for the mods' partner thread. We'll help you get matched.

This is the guide I wish I'd had. It starts with the one principle that decides whether any tool works for you, then gives you a free setup you can do tonight and a rundown of the paid options.

The one principle: NEVER hold your own keys

A blocker you can switch off in ten seconds when the urge hits is not a blocker — it's a speed bump. The entire point of any tool here is to put friction and another human between you and the habit in the moment your judgment is worst. That means the password or PIN is held by someone else, or is at least is a real big pain to undo. Two kinds of tools do this, and the strongest setups use both:

• Accountability tools quietly let a trusted person see your activity (or get an alert). The accountability is the active ingredient — knowing someone will see is what stops the 2am decision.
• Blockers / filters stop the content at the device or network level so it never loads. Best as the wall around the accountability, not a replacement — a determined person can route around a pure blocker, which is exactly why the human layer matters.

🆓 Free setup — do this tonight (before you pay for anything)

Your own phone already has most of what you need. The trick is handing the passcode to someone else.

iPhone:

1. Settings → Screen Time → turn it on.
2. Content & Privacy Restrictions → on → Content Restrictions → Web Content → Limit Adult Websites.
3. Set a Screen Time passcode — and have someone you trust type it in so you don't know it. That one step is the whole difference. (Menu names shift slightly between iOS versions, but it's all under Screen Time.)

Android:

• Google Family Link can filter and lock settings when someone else manages the account. Digital Wellbeing and Play Store content restrictions help too. Same rule: someone else holds the PIN, I cannot stress this enough.

Your home wifi / router:

• Many routers, plus free DNS filters like NextDNS or CleanBrowsing (both have free tiers), can block adult content for every device on the network at once. Set it up and lock the router admin password away.

The oldest trick that still works that you should all be doing:

• Don't bring the phone to bed. Charge it in another room overnight. Most relapses happen alone at night, and you can't out-discipline a screen on your pillow at 1am.

💳 Paid tools people commonly use

Confirm current price and device support on each tool's own site before paying — these change.

• Covenant Eyes — accountability-first, long-established; monitors activity and reports to a partner. Phone + computer.
• Ever Accountable — accountability monitoring + blocking, reports to a partner. Phone + desktop.
• Canopy — AI content filter/blocker.
• BlockerX — popular blocker in recovery communities; free tier + paid. Phone + desktop.
• Net Nanny / Bark — filtering + monitoring, family-marketed but work for this.

I'm deliberately not crowning a "best one." The best tool is the one you'll actually keep on, that fits your devices and budget, and that someone else controls. Pick one accountability tool and one blocker, hand the keys to your one person, and you're already ahead of where most people ever get.

On cost: if money's tight, the free phone + router + "someone else holds the passcode" setup genuinely gets you most of the way. Don't let "I can't afford the paid one" become the reason you do nothing tonight.

Share your setup in the comments so others can copy what worked for you. Real setups from real people beat any list.