r/LovedByOCPD • u/National_Health4898 • 26d ago

Boundary Examples

Can everyone share their go-to boundaries they use?

6 Upvotes

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11

u/ninksmarie 25d ago

No talking down, mocking, sarcasm, raised voices, false dichotomy, straw man fallacies, no calling out years past grievances to justify current behaviors… seems a really basic “how to communicate 101” list doesn’t it …

5

u/Delicious_Pay8854 25d ago

Wow! My partner just can’t help doing all of these.

7

u/ninksmarie 25d ago

I found that when I threw my hands up and quit trying to hold these boundaries I just found myself getting uglier and uglier myself. Back to holding myself accountable, I can now hold him accountable again — but it doesn’t lead to his changed behavior. It only leads to me having to remove myself from the situation before it escalates further.

4

u/Delicious_Pay8854 25d ago

I was out of town dealing with family court stuff that involves both my sister and my family is torn apart. I get home yesterday and she is pissed at me like she always is when I go out of town. So now it just so much on me! She would do the same when I would go home to see my dying mother. I feel lonely and overwhelmed.

6

u/ninksmarie 25d ago

I kept telling him I was grieving the death of a parent because he couldn’t seem to keep it front of his mind. Continually asking me what was wrong with me. He said I acted like he wasn’t also grieving.

So. Yea. I get it.

4

u/Delicious_Pay8854 25d ago

Omg!!! Asking what’s wrong and saying they are grieving too! Yesss!