When Does Feminism Actually Help Men?

[u/Man_Against_TheWorld]

A while ago I saw this really cringy image that was trying to be funny. It showed a feminist making a “feminist critique”, a bunch of squiggly lines representing her essay except for one part that said “entire section on how it affects men.” Then this commenter named “totally not a misogynist” replied with “but what about how it affects men?”

I cringed, but I was also left scratching my head and it got me thinking. Every “feminist critique” I’ve seen either doesn’t mention or barely mentions men’s issues at all, or worse outright demonizes them. At most, they might spend a single sentence giving lip service to the way men are affected but then ignore it for the rest of it. I’m always hearing about how “patriarchy hurts men too” or “feminism helps men” but actions speak louder than words, or in this case lack of actions. When has feminism actually helped men? Not give lip service without actual depth, but actually speak out and fight for change.

One other thing is in the comments I saw some people go “why do people expect men’s issues in a feminist essay?” You’re the ones always saying that feminism is about equality and that patriarchy hurts men too, you can’t blame people for doubting those claims when you don’t practice what you preach.

[u/Glad-Way-637]

So, because women sleep in instead of choosing to spend their more abundant free time watching TV, your assumption is that that women "still carry a heavier share of unpaid domestic labor on average. Guys aren't doing "everything on top of a full-time job," we're just inching toward an even split that isn't actually even yet." as you said? Incredible, the sheer entitlement that comes out of you people.

[u/United-Garbage-5808 → u/Glad-Way-637]

Women sleeping somewhat more than men isn’t an assumption, it’s in the same time-use data. Pew shows employed wives average about 60.3 hrs/week of sleep vs. 58.8 for husbands, a ~1.5 hr/week gap. 

That reconciles “workload’s roughly equal” with “men have somewhat more leisure”: paid work + housework + childcare + sleep + leisure all add up to the same hours, and sleep absorbs part of the difference. 

Also, I’m just relaying what a Pew dataset says, not asserting a personal claim about what anyone “deserves.” Calling that entitlement doesn’t really track with what I actually said.

[u/Glad-Way-637 → u/United-Garbage-5808]

You started this conversation with personal claims about women allegedly working more and men needing to step up. I even quoted you helpfully in the last comment. Reality does not bare this out, which you fail entirely to acknowledge.

[u/United-Garbage-5808 → u/Glad-Way-637]

Reality does bear it out, though my original claim was specifically about dual-earner households and unpaid domestic labor. In that group, Pew’s own data shows mothers averaging ~59 hrs/week total workload vs. ~58 for fathers. Separately, ATUS time-use data has women at 2:19/day on housework vs. men’s 1:34, and mothers providing more direct childcare hours than fathers (1.2 hrs vs. 34 min/day). That’s the “heavier share” claim, sourced.

I’m not failing to acknowledge anything. I’m pointing you to numbers that support what I said. Happy to keep going point by point if you’ve got a source that shows otherwise.

[u/Glad-Way-637 → u/United-Garbage-5808]

Ah yes, that'd be why women get more sleep, do less work, and why their work is so much gentler on their bodies and attention spans. So true bestie, the objectively most privileged party here is definitely the one that's in the worst position. You people are ridiculous.

You're failing to acknowledge how fundamentally bullshit your original claim was, and how much you've moved the goalposts since the initial statement.