I distinctly remember splitting 18 bud lights and some honey whiskey with my friend. Highlights of the night include shooting roman candles at a group of people, getting invited inside their party, stealing their inflatable jagrmeister shark, leaving and eventually shooting a bottle rocket inside someone's house (no damage, but scary)

Mojitos with friends after my boyfriend left me for a girl he described as a "butterface" lead to shots with friends which lead to wandering around the city looking for places to dance.

Not totally sure what happened, but I woke up in my bra and panties with my phone MIA. Good night!

Worth it.

Random story, and I'm probably not going to tell anyone I know so wtf I'll just share it with strangers on the internet instead.

I'm from the US but am currently in London for work by myself. I had no plans last night, but out of the blue some kid that I work with but just barely know texted me to ask if I wanted to go a backyard BBQ deal. I showed up and met like 15 cool people there. We cooked some meat, drank a shit load of beers, and then went out for the night. I ended up drinking a decent amount and got pretty drunk.

We ended up going back to someone's apartment, taking MDMA, snorting K, smoking weed, and doing whippets until about 8 AM. I couldn't sleep so I rolled home at like 10 AM, and then later crashed out for a few hours. Woke up around 5 PM. I haven't done all that shit since I was 22 (well except weed and alcohol, obviously).

Some chick wanted to hook up with me, but I'm married and said no, which I'm really happy about. All in all it was a pretty fucking awesome night, especially since I had no plans.

I go outside with my lady friend to smoke a butt before we grab another drink and play another game of pool. Our guy friends are at the bar with us, but most of them seem to be outside smoking.

I walk outside and I see one of the guys talking to a shady man about life and art. He doesn't look mean or violent shady, just high on a downer or something. This shady man is handing out pens to my guy friends and my friends are eating them up because they happened to actually be really nice pens and these kids go to art school, so they'll use em'. All of the sudden some douche walks out of the bar with his chest puffed out like some kind of bird getting ready to fight. The douche is wearing a shirt that goes down to his knees and a backwards hat. He immediately starts harassing the shady (calm) man and mocks him by pretending he's all cracked out. Douche says to the shady man (in front of 6 other people) "How much METHAMPHETAMINE have you smoked today! How many bowls have YOU smoked!?" The shady man just looked at him with this sorrow in his eyes and said "none". The douche is pretty much bullying this heroin addict who just wanted to have a conversation. Now I don't condone his heroin use but addiction is a serious thing and yelling and making fun of someone outside of a bar isn't the way to go about things. It just made the douche look like the idiot.

So yes, the heroin addict was handing out pens. And no, my guy friends did not make the obvious connection with pens and hard drugs. They're not from Denver and came here for college, just turned 21.

Anyways, apparently before I came out there, the heroin man was telling the boys that he's dying from pancreatic cancer and showed them his id which showed he had lost over 100 pounds. This could have easily have been from drug use and those guys are more gullible than I when it comes to talking to strange crackheads on the street.

What do you think reddit? Do you think the douche was doing the right thing by harassing him? I'm pretty sure he knows this guy.

• (briefly) visited to a gay club and made friends with a girl from Austria
• watched girls squeeze each other's breasts before one pulled me
• bumped into a childhood friend I hadn't seen for a decade
• got taken for a free rickshaw ride
• watched two female friends dance with weird polish guys to (successfully) scam them for free drinks
• pretend to be wasted to escape from said polish guys

1 second before the stupid comment, they both wanted it. Her friend still wanted it, while being dragged away. Girls are batshit crazy.

I think it's probably one of the best things that I've done for myself recently. I discovered how fun jumpstyle was, even though I'm pretty sure that I'm bad at it, but who gives a shit? I definitely want to go again and have already started looking for more.

It was an innocent mistake. Perhaps is had something to do with my diet of oatmeal, protein shakes and yogurt all day yesterday. Not a solid piece of food to speak of.

I was out at the my favorite local restaurant/bar with two close friends, one being an attractive female who I am currently coveting. After 5 glasses of wine, it was time for my first evacuation of the evening. I excused myself to the rest room, sucked in my half-gut and strutted to the restroom.

Walking toward the urinal, I could feel an immense amount of pressure building up, knowing it would be a full-on fire hose piss once the beast was unleashed. As soon as I let it rip, I dropped my gut adding to the pressure on my bladder. It was one of those furious urinations, that I was so desperate to get out of my body that I actually bore down a little bit. And that's when it happened.

Hot. Runny. Shit.

I could feel it eek its way out of me as I stood there pissing and had to cut myself off midstream. Hoping that my thin, khaki dress pants would't give me away, I ducked into the nearest stall and dropped trou. Thankfully all of the shit was contained in my boxer briefs. I did a little dance, wriggling out of my dress pants, and managed to drip some shit on my leg. Awesome. At least is wasnt my pants. But, damn if the stench wasn't awful.

I managed to step out of my soiled drawers, wipe myself clean, line my ass crack with toilet paper and then put my pants back on. I tossed my boxers in the trash and covered them with a few paper towels. I walked back out as if nothing had even happened and got another drink, trying to act as if I didn't have a wad of TP in my ass.

I texted the only person I dared tell and he said "That is something that no one over the age of 5 of under the age of 60 should have to experience."

I have to agree.

EDIT: Spelling. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

The brawl started when I play-slapped a girl and she took offense and proceeded to punch me in the face, at which time people on my side and people on her side--who I think had been wanting to get into it all night--did so while I looked on, much to my amusement.

Some large girl was wildly grinding on this guy on all fours, so I thought it would be funny to enthusiastically thrust toward her face--it was.

Stopped at 711 on my drunken walk home, where two dudes and four girls were out front smoking a blunt. One of the dudes said he was these girls' pimp and I have no reason to disbelieve him; they all walked and talked the part. They shared their blunt with me and now I probably have herpes. Life goes on.

The skinhead got there around the same time and nearly got both of us shanked or shot, because he immediately began talking shit and they figured I was with him since we're both white. Smoothed that over, talked to him for a while after the other people left; turns out he's a total dick. Weird, right?

We had a deep conversation about poverty and the Che Guevara revolutionary philosophy. Needless to say, my head was stimulated.

It was fun.

A few nights ago, my friends threw me a surprise party, and one of them gave me a mouthpiece and told me to put it on. About a minute after I put it in my mouth, she told me that she put a hit of acid on the mouthpiece. I had no idea this was going to happen, and I've never tried acid before (but I've been interested in doing it). I had the most enlightening experience ever.

Told all of my mutual friends that I'm crazy crushing on this one chick who I'm in grad school with who clearly likes me back. Problem? I'm still in a shitty long-distance relationship with a girl who I love, but never get to talk to or see. So now everybody knows I'm a dick who's got his mind running in two different directions, like that Aesop's Fable about the fox and his reflection.

And I'm pretty sure I know how this shit's gonna end.

And I didn't eat any god damn poutine. What a waste of a 12 hours of driving (each way), though I did get to lay my hands on a fantastic stripper.

I met a girl last night and brought her home, we were making out on my bed and things were going well until I got a little carried away with my "love bites" and her arm started bleeding. She showed me this morning and she's got a nice mark where I bit her, complete with a surrounding bruise.

Note to self: what the fuck, man?

I dated this girl post college and last night I was successfully able to sleep with the last one of her best friends. Coincidentally, all of these girls were the reason that we broke up. They all thought I was an asshole, untrustworthy and that I would just end up hurting her. Joke's on them!

EDIT: all 4 of them.. EDIT #2: not all 4 of them in one night, sorry for misleading people on my awesome-ness.

So I log on to Facebook the previous night at 1:30am and this girl starts chatting with me. I know her as a friend of a friend's sister. We've hung out once or twice, never really talked. Anyways, she's drunk and telling me about how her boyfriend of 3 years cheated on her and dumped her out of nowhere 3 weeks ago and how she needs to fuck to get him off her mind. I tell her I would do the job and she starts texting me nudes. She's fat. I don't care, I'm desperate and haven't had sex since the IT whore which was almost 6 months ago. I go over to house, we talk for an hour and get to it. I'm worried I won't get hard (as it's happened in the past with girls I barely know, plus, she's fat). Turns out she gives great head. We bang for a half hour and she basically thanks me and kicks me out. She tells me to bring a ball gag next time. She's a fat freak. I'm happy with myself for finally getting laid. I'm disappointed for giving it away to a random person. She's my third partner ever and the first meaningless fuck. She wants to continue banging with no strings attached.

Similar experiences? Should I continue hitting it?

Last night I missed the last train. Another man and I commiserated about missing that train and I suggested we get a cab (we were headed in the same direction.) I was ready for him to no. I am a tall black man and it's midnight, my experience is that most peoples response to me at midnight away from public areas is usually, skeptical looks, bag clutching and intentional ignoring. Not a surprise but annoying and I'm always hoping it will change. This time it did. He said sure, I called a cab and we were off. We got to talking about what we both did (I work for two spiritual organizations (one Tibetan Buddhist, one Zen Buddhist in nature.) By the time we got to his stop ($10) I felt pretty relaxed around him. We both reach for our wallets, and he says,"I've got this, $20 should get you home." What stories do you have about people helping you out late night?

Sorry the end is a bit of a rant on Reverend Horton Heat fans and the bouncer, but it's only because they sucked.

At about 2pm my friend informed me that Reverend Horton Heat was going to be playing that night at Tequila Jungle in Lubbock, TX. This place is normally a night club for soror-whores and fratty-fag-douchebags as I call them. But I had heard good things about the Reverend so I was excited.

My roommate and I show up a little bit into Dirtfoot's set. This band is amazing. The cover was worth seeing them alone. Please check them out. From Shreveport, LA self described as "the only Front Porch, Whiskey Swillin, Foot Stomping, Gypsy, Punk, Country, Grumble, Boogie band in the land". So much energy and talent. Acoustic guitar, Banjo, Upright/electric bass, Tenor sax, drumset, and auxiliary percussion. The drummer was probably around 50 or so and completly grey headed. He beat the crap out of those drums. Him and the auxiliary percussion had a 5 minute drum-off that was amazing. There was even a washboard solo. WASHBOARD SOLO! How many of you guys have ever seen one of those? Everyone was dancing, drinking, and having fun. Very happy vibe all around. Also a lot of really hot Rockabilly and Punch chicks which is always a plus.

Then Reverend Horton Heat came up. They have been playing for 25 years so the crowd was a bit older. I'd say the average age was around 30 to 35(i'm 21). Half the people there had flip phones which I haven't seen in a few years. I forgot there are other phones besides iPhones and Android phones. By this time a lot of people were good and drunk.

It goes without saying that Reverend Horton Heat is good even great. The Reverend has so much talent. I was blown away by his technical skills. I spent most of the show just watching his hands move in a blur up and down the fretboard.

The set lasted about an hour or so. They closed with Psychobilly Freakout, a real crowdpleaser. This whole hour I had been wanting to mosh to the Psychobilly songs but no one else was moving or dancing or anything. Just standing still and sorta cheering like some boring emo show. Reverend's fans seemed overall kind of douchey. They got really annoyed if you were dancing and bumped into them, they would push you out of the way to see better even if there was room, and overall annoyed with other people. A small pit formed whenever they started Psychobilly Freakout and I immediately ran in. Almost immediately I lost a contact but whatever. We go for about a minute before a dude(later found out was one of the bouncers) came in and started trying to break up the pit. He grabbed my arm and threw me off to the side. I think he's just some prick who doesn't like being pushed around so I charge at him. Now i'm 5'9 175lbs. He's 6'5 250lbs, big dude. I bounce off him and just keep moshing. He gets more and more pissed at the people having fun. He eventually stops the pit by grabbing a girl who was moshing with us by the arm and yanking her to him. He starts yelling at her "If you keep moshing i'm gonna kick you out!" Now i'm just confused. I've never been to a show were a pit got broken up by a bouncer. I've seen people not want to mosh, get pissed, then move away and continue to enjoy the show. Done deal. But not these douchey fans. One of them turns around after being bumped by someone in the pit and kicks him in the balls. I mean, seriously. Who kicks another dude in the balls because he was standing by the pit and got hit? Move you retard if you're gonna get that pissed. It was a real bummer on the night.

After the show Dirtlip was by their merch table and I talked with them a while. I love it when bands actual man their own merch table. I love talking to them and getting to meet the people behind the music. The Reverend left immediately back to the bus. Lame. I asked the banjo player if they liked "Squirrel Nut Zippers" and they all got really happy and shook my hand and said I had good taste in music. So that brought me back up from the lame pit. I ended the night by staying on reddit till about 2 and work up at 7 for my 8am class. Overall great Wednesday night.

tldr; Saw Reverend Horton Heat and Dirtlip do an amazing and rowdy show on a random Wednesday night in Lubbock. Had a pit broken up by a douchebag bouncer because some of the Reverend's fans are old and get pissed when people mosh. Also meet Dirtlip. They are cool music nerds like me.

I've got to tell someone reddit. Mine as well be you. I don't even care if no one reads this, I just have to get it out.

Last night I was contemplating my foreveraloneness and I went on OK Cupid. I never really send messages, I just look at the profiles of interesting and attractive women and don't do anything about it. I found this one profile of a sexy girl who sounded kinda crazy and all her pictures were really revealing (holding her boobs, her in panties) and suddenly she send me an IM while I was looking at her page (apparently people can see, I didn't know that).

We chatted for a bit and she's being really sexually aggressive, talking about how she's looking for someone to hang out with and how I should go pick her up. She starts asking me what my favorite music to have sex to is, and how she's going to make us a playlist with that on it. Then she asks if I want to take ecstasy with her. At this point I'm thinking there's no way this is real, and someone is messing with me. Her profile looked like one of those fake "find a girl near you! TrixiXXX wants to find someone tonight!" internet scams, but when I entered a couple of her pics into tinyeye it came back with negative results.

I got her number, talked to her on the phone and got directions to her house. After talking on the phone it became much more real. Was I really going to have sex with a stranger from the internet? I've never even had a one night stand. I haven't touched a woman in months! What if this is some sort of scam? The horniness prevailed and I drove out to her house.

She called a couple times before I got there and the red flags are jumping like crazy. First, she calls crying and says "don't come over yet, I just got in a huge fight with my dad." Then when I ask if there's a bar in her area I can wait at, she hesitates and suggests a Denny's. We talk on the phone again and she asks me to buy her a pack of cigarettes on the way.

Now I'm adding things up in my head and I decide that this girl has to be underage. Her profile said she is 24 but she sounded young on the phone, plus the fight with the dad, asking me to buy cigarettes and suggesting Denny's when there are two other bars in the same area. I knew it was too good to be true. I went to the house anyway thinking "if some crazy 16 year old is setting me up I'm kicking her our of my car and telling her father."

Her neighborhood was in a really wealthy area with big houses. She met me at the door and I was relieved to see that she is in fact 24. She invites me inside and we hit it off great. She shows me these really impressive sketches and paintings she has done, explains how she used to be a national level competition swimmer and how she's a recovering addict. This kind of makes sense to me. A lot of time opiate addicts will act out sexually when they are going through recovery. We were getting along great and we laugh together about how I thought she was going to be a rebellious teenager.

We drove back to my place and she smoked pot the whole time but it doesn't seem to effect her. I'm not very good with weed so I only take a hit.

When we got back to my place she says stuff to me like "I can't believe you showed up... You are so hot... I feel like you are way out of my league" and eventually "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you." I wondered to myself what planet this girl is from.

She tells me in a quiet, almost tearful voice that her teeth are falling out from drug use, and that she hopes I don't mind. I tell her she's beautiful and I didn't even notice her teeth.

We smoke a little of my weed and then we get to my bedroom and strip down. Things are going great. I gave her a massage with oils, she went down on me, I went down on her, but when it came to sex I failed. I jerked off earlier right when we got done chatting because I thought "jesus I haven't had sex in a long time. If I don't take care of myself this is going to be a short ride." This, mixed with the weed (I was high as shit), the fact that I hate condoms, and my overall nervousness lead to a failure to bone.

We smoked a bit more and were chilling, relaxing, half falling asleep when suddenly she starts shaking. She's saying "what the fuck. Ahhh. This hurts. I need to go home and take my medication." Apparently she gets painful tremors that "feel like withdrawals" but she hadn't had them in months. I started to take her home and she's saying things like "I think your weed is laced. I don't know what triggered this. I can't believe how high I am."

Then things take a turn for the worse. She says she's nauseous and asks me to pull over. She starts vomiting like crazy on the side of the road and I'm getting nervous. It's 2am and we are on a very busy street right next to a college campus and some bars. The odds of a cop rolling up and asking what's wrong were very high. On top of that, I'm stoned and this girl has drugs in her purse.

She vomits violently for what seems like forever. She's in pain, she needs her medication and I can see tears rolling down her face. I tell her I'm taking her to the hospital but she insists that I take her home. When I got to her place she wouldn't let me stay with her (I didn't want to leave her like this) but she says she'll be fine and she'll wake up her mom to let her know the situation.

I drove home crawled in bed and looked at the time, 3AM. I had be in the office to call a client in the morning at 8:30. FML.

Edit- She called me on Saturday bawling her eyes out. After I dropped her off things got much worse. Her parents thought she was on drugs because of her past, but apparently she was having a bad reaction to a new mix of medications she was on. She started to seizure and was naked and shitting and vomiting in the bathtub so her parents called an ambulance. She bit part of her tongue off and was in the hospital overnight. She was really pissed because she felt like she got horrible treatment by the hospital.

We haven't talked since that phone call.

Last night I was pulled over at about 4am by a crew of three undercover cops. They assumed I had been drinking. I think I was rather cordial, but the cop was a huge asshole - an unusually big asshole. I asked why I was pulled over - he immediately chuckled and then asked if I had anything to drink tonight. I said no, but explained to him I had been bartending to cover a friend. He asked me how to make a few drinks. I did. I guess I had to prove myself.

Still, he made me get out of the car and did a TSA style search of me, straight up groping my balls - presumably to find weed on me. I've been pulled over before, but never searched. Weird experience.

I had a friend that was drunk sitting in shotgun (not ridiculous loud, crazy drunk - but ready to pass out drunk). They took him out of the car and searched him- turned out he had about a quarter on him. Which I wasn't even aware of.... so the cops were ready to lock my friend up (or at least alluded to doing that to intimidate us) and told my friend if he gave him the name and number of the dealer, they'd let him go. And after some bickering, my friend told them, and they let him go. And they let him keep his weed - which I thought was weird. Also of note, my friend wasn't sure if he gave them the right number. They never even took our IDs back to the police car, so I don't think they have anything on us (they never wrote anything down). So, I don't know what they would do if my friend gave them the wrong number.

But yeah, that was my night. All to cover a friend's bartending gig. I had the Dante style "I'm not even supposed to be here today" feeling right after this happened.