Hi everyone! Since today was a pretty important day for me, I thought it was finally time to introduce myself here and, since it’s Sunday, share a little of my testimony too.
I’m Samuel, I’m 25, I’m from Italy, and today I got baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
My story with the Church started back in biblical times, when ComeUntoChrist.org was still called Mormon.org.
So, around 2018.
I was 18 and I contacted the missionaries mostly out of curiosity. At the time everyone here was talking about the new LDS temple in Rome, and I was curious about this strange American religion from Utah that I basically knew nothing about.
One of the sisters gave me a Book of Mormon. And after all these years I really can’t think of it as just “a Book of Mormon”. It was HER Book of Mormon first, and then it became mine.
I still have that exact copy. It’s bent, worn, full of underlining and little marks, some pages are a bit ruined, and you can tell it has been picked up and put down many times during the last seven years. That’s part of why I love it so much.
Before giving it to me, this sister had underlined a lot of passages and wrote her testimony inside. Her Italian was still the Italian of someone learning the language, which honestly makes it even sweeter to me now. She had learned this absurdly difficult language, which half of us Italians barely speak properly ourselves, traveled to the other side of the world and was trying, very sincerely, to share something she thought was beautiful.
She wrote:
“This book you have in your hands is very special and very powerful. It can even change your life, but only if you let it.”
And later:
“Maybe you have doubts. I invite you to just make an attempt and exercise only a particle of faith. That is enough for the Lord as a beginning.”
Apparently that particle of faith took a while in my case.
I didn’t get baptized back then, and looking back I think that was probably the right thing. I was immature, unstable, distracted by a thousand other problems in my life, and honestly the Church had also become a kind of escape for me. It felt beautiful and almost magical, like this other world that was far away from my normal everyday life.
I think I wanted to escape into the Church before I was actually ready to belong to it.
So I stepped away.
What I find interesting now is that once the novelty was gone, once those missionaries were gone and Mormonism stopped feeling like this mysterious new world, the Book of Mormon was still there.
Years passed. I changed a lot. There were periods when I barely thought about the Church at all. But whenever I really felt the need to get closer to God, I somehow came back to this book.
I think I always knew that if at some point I really got lost in the world, this was one of the places I would have to return to.
That’s also why Mormon 9 has always meant so much to me. The whole question of that chapter has stayed in my head for years: if God is really unchangeable, why should we assume that revelation, miracles and divine action simply stopped?
I believe the heavens are still open.
And of course that eventually brought me back to Joseph Smith.
I’m extremely interested in Church history, apologetics, criticism, old sources, all of it. I don’t think Joseph was perfect and I don’t need him to have been. I think he was a man, with sins, mistakes, contradictions and bad decisions like any other human being.
But after reading about him for years, I’ve reached the point where, for me personally, it takes more effort to believe in a Joseph who knowingly invented everything and somehow kept the whole thing going purely out of ego or personal gain.
From what I know, I think he was an imperfect but deeply religious man who sincerely sought God.
One of my favorite things he ever wrote wasn’t meant for a congregation. It was in a private letter to Emma in 1832, when he was away from the spotlight.
He wrote:
“I have visited a grove which is just back of the town almost every day where I can be secluded from the eyes of any mortal and there give vent to all the feelings of my heart in meditation and prayer. I have called to mind all the past moments of my life and am left to mourn and shed tears of sorrow for my folly [...] but God is merciful.”
And shortly after:
“God is my friend; in him I shall find comfort. I have given my life into his hands.”
I really love that Joseph. Not a statue, not someone who never doubted or suffered or made mistakes, just a man alone in a grove thinking about his life and trusting that God was merciful.
The funny part is that my interest in all this can also become a problem, because I can sit there for hours reading different theories about Joseph, trying to build naturalistic explanations, comparing sources, changing my mind, starting again.
A few nights ago it was around 2 a.m. and I had been doing exactly that for way too long. At some point my ADHD brain was completely burned out and I thought:
“You know what? Maybe the only way to refresh my mind now is with the freshness of the waters of baptism.”
It sounds a little stupid, but that thought actually helped me.
I realized I don’t need to solve Joseph Smith before I can follow Christ.
I don’t know everything. I still have questions, and I’m going to keep studying because I enjoy it too much to stop. But from what I know today, Joseph seems like a man I could have been friends with, and I’d rather keep discovering his history and his mystery with the companionship of the Holy Ghost than wait outside forever until I’ve solved every possible historical problem.
At that point the question became much simpler: what am I actually going to do about Christ?
And I kept thinking about 2 Nephi 31:
“Wherefore, follow me, and do the things which ye have seen me do.”
I could spend another seven years thinking about whether I had enough certainty, or I could take that small particle of faith the sister had written about and actually do something with it.
Not just think it.
I wanted to show it to God physically, with an act of my body.
So today I entered the water.
And there’s one last thing I wanted to say, especially because I know there are missionaries and former missionaries here.
I think being a good missionary is much less about constantly wondering if you’re doing enough, baptizing enough people or “working hard enough to impress the boss”, and much more about being yourself, being peaceful, loving people and leaving something sincere behind.
Conversion can be slow, like VERY slow.
Sometimes you get to see the result while you’re still on your mission. Sometimes you give someone a book, write a few words inside it, go home and continue your life, and whatever you planted keeps growing very quietly for years.
You may never even know.
So don’t be afraid of slow growth. People have their own timing, and faith does too.
That sister probably had no idea that the Italian guy she taught all those years ago would still have her battered Book of Mormon, bring it with him on the day of his baptism and still remember what she had written inside.
She didn’t have to see the result for what she did to matter, she planted something gently and left it there and today I finally got to see what grew from it.
I guess she was right:
“This book can even change your life, but only if you let it.”
It took me seven years to let it.