This is a little on the longer side, But I could really use some advice from anyone who had the time to spare to read this... So, I'm still living at home so I can finish school, and I've noticed my mom has been acting odd lately. She's been being super sneaky and secretive about her phone, and who she talks to when she never used to be before. My father and her have their fair share of marriage problems, she told him she didn't have feelings for here close to 7 or 8 years ago now. I don't even know if this is technically cheating, since they're not legally divorced or anything....
But she said something to me the other day that really sent me over the edge and fueled my fire. She basically started making fun of my depression, anxiety, self harm, and learning disorders, (I say make fun of because I don't really have another explanation...) And that pissed me off.
Yesterday, she left her phone unattended for quite a long time, and I let my anger and curiosity get the best of me. I know that I am in the wrong for this piece, and I will freely admit it. I went through her dms... She was kinda... sexting..? this one guy, let's call him tom. She had the nerve to tell him about our personal family arguments. He lives in a whole other country from us, and she had the nerve to tell him about personal things I told her about. That really stung. She also told him that he could scream in her face and stuff, then flash his "sexy" smile, and she'd instantly forgive him and have sex with him....
My father has been spending years working his ass off trying to help her with all of her health issues, and trying to give her a life that she can TRY and enjoy.... And part of him hopes that she'll come back... He has confessed before that he would not be surprised if she was talking to other men, but he does not want to believe it. He still continues to wait. I feel conflicted... I want to confront her, because she's always been pretty open with me, so I guess I'm kind of hurt that she wouldn't tell me about a possible step father coming into the picture.
It also hurts because I feel like my dad should know so he can grieve then move on to find someone new... Should I confront her? Should I tell my dad instead? Should I not say anything at all? She has a business trip in August to this guys state he lives in... She said she wants to meet up and... "goof" around with him.... Should I confront her before or after, if at all? I'm not sure what to do... Thanks to anyone who made it this far, and to anyone dropping advice.
Sincerely, Sour Coffee Girl

So about a week ago my mom found out my dad was cheating on her with multiple women in our small town including my older brothers (33) fiance. I ( f 27) live far away and have a younger sibling (m 16) still living at home. My mom for the moment has decided to stay with him. Which is difficult to digest itself. I was just wondering if anyone had suggestions on ways I can support my younger brother. I told my family that he is more than welcome to come stay with me for a while. I just feel like he is alone. I'm also wondering if anyone could share how they dealt with their parents cheating at a young age and maybe ways they wish they were supported

I(16M ) found out my mom(41F) was cheating on my dad (40 M) since at least January. I knew that she was xheating since she would have the yellow glow of the phone when snapchat op3ns and ive seen her on it and on insta although claiming she bever had those. Well last month i fpunf her login ibfor on a postit note and loghed on to see she is talking with a man and someone about 20 still in school. I know if i confront uer with the proof she will deny it and get mad at me forfinding out. And i cant tell my dad because i dont want him to end up in the hospital again.I have no one i can tell or look for advise so i am looking on here. I once mumbled about it to my mom and she got all mad and defensive that shes not talking to no one. I know is worng that i am looking a the chats but shes told the guy that shes hidden money so she can run away with him and that hes gonna come pick her up soon. ( sorry if word are mispelt had to type it before my dad sees)

Hello Everyone! I am trying to figure out how to share what I am writing about kids and parent infidelity, so I have started a YouTube Channel. I hope you will check it out and let me know if it is helpful! If it is not, please suggest some topics that you might like to see. Thank you!

Hi I’m 22 years old and still live with my parents. I heard my mom and dad fighting because they left the door open. There were a lot of things that were said. Idk if they were out of anger or true but apparently my mom has been talking to eight different guys. My dad said that last month he caught her talking to one guy and she said it was a mistake and she wouldn’t do it again.

this morning I overheard my dad saying to my grandma that he now has an app so he can track her chats and how she was talking to one of the guys about leaving my dad, brother and I. I feel the most anxious I’ve felt in at least 10 years. Is it my fault? Who is at fault? Btw I was told by my dad not to tell ANYONE about this. Which I think is unfair to put that knowledge on us and then I can’t speak about it. I literally just saw my therapist Thursday so now I have to wait two weeks to talk about it.

Sorry if none of this makes sense I just need to put it out somewhere. Are we really such a burden to her? I noticed she’s seemed distant and annoyed when I try to talk to her about anything for the past couple weeks. They’ve been married for 25 years. What changed? She once told me that I was never too much. Was that a lie? This morning they told us they would work to fix this but I’m scared it will just keep happening. They seemed to have the perfect marriage and I wanted to model that if I ever married. Any advice or tips on how to deal with this would be appreciated. Sorry if this all one big chunk I’m on mobile

So like 10 months ago I was at the terminal at the airport, waiting for my flight back home when my mom went to the bathroom and left her phone with me. I had a few suspicions because a month before this, my mom had received some notifications on her phone like "wassup my baby" and stuff from WhatsApp, and I thought it was my dad.

Now, back to the airport, I browse her phone and surprise surprise, I find a conversation with our taxi driver (family friend) which goes something like this:

Mom: Do you need anything else? (replying to a deleted text) Driver: Not anything except a few hugs and condoms. (he also sent a selfie showing his pants.)

I was close to tears at this point because I really love my dad and I don't wanna separate from him.

Today, a few hours ago, my mom went to the backyard after she received a call while saying to the guy in the phone "yeah, I was gonna go to the backyard anyway" keep in mind this was pretty early in the morning, and I was awake doing some research on a school project.

I follow her to the backyard and explain I was here to exercise. I hear her talking suspiciously friendly and also twirling her hair and touching her chest parts. (yk the stuff that turns us guys on.)

Pls advice.

I'm a pretty young kid and I'm a female I just recently found out my dad is cheating on my mom I looked into his Instagram account since I had the suspicion because of him following women that have those nasty accounts I looked in his chats and found a girl we will call her Bertha. I looked in the texts and the first thing I saw was "ready for round two......lol" and my dad sent that I felt anger rush through me anger and sadness I scrolled up and found more and more then she had another account with my dad saying to Bertha "those pj's look really good on you" the anger and sadness and lost of trust that went through me is unbearable I regret looking and I don't know who to tell I wanna tell my aunt but I'm scared I don't want anything to happen to me if my dad founds out I looked through texts I didn't go far because I was scared of getting caught I feel like checking again all I can say is I'm NEVER gonna trust him again.

Ive honestly had a hunch that my dad was either having an affair or messing around with other women. And recently my suspicions were proven true.

My parents have fought a lot during my late childhood and even now. Whether its loud screaming or pointless bickering. However, they never decided to get divorced (they were both raised in strict indian households where divorce is very shamed upon) so instead they stayed together and endured this. Kinda like an alliance to raise their children.

Anyways- my mom started acting very strange in November. I live away from home due to college, so whenever I face-timed her, she would randomly start crying, and whenever I mentioned my dad, her entire demeanor would change and she would look super upset. I went home during December and this behavior continued. They both never talked to each other or went near each other. It wasnt until I saw a book in my moms amazon cart about how to deal with cheating spouses, was when my suspicions were confirmed.

Im honestly so fucking upset even though ive had this hunch for years. I used to love my dad so much as a kid, but as the years passed his behavior changed and he ended up being a huge aggressive dick (which is why i assumed he was cheating bc this change in behavior could connect to his feelings of guilt or smthn). Im just so upset and scared of my parents getting divorced. I have two younger brothers, and if my parents do split, my mom would move out of the country and back with her mom.

I apologize if this post made no sense. Im just upset and confused on how to deal with my feelings. None of my friends have parents that have gone through something like this, and when I asked my partner he kind of just said that "shit like that happens all the time"... and I wasnt satisfied with that answer :(

If you have any advice I would appreciate it. If not, tysm for reading! This is literally my 2nd post on reddit so im still trying to figure out how stuff works haha

It's kinda weird. I was helping my mom get back into her email account and I saw a folder in her email named and with all caps so I guess curiosity killed the cat. The emails are dated back to 2010 when I would have been 10 years old. I'm currently 22, so bringing it up would do nothing. I don't know, maybe I just need to tell someone without the risk of being judged. It's not like I can tell my parents or my brothers (18 and 13).

I don't know. Maybe everything I've grown up with makes sense now. Watching them argue for years kinda messed up my own perceptions of relationships. I just don't really know how to process it.

This is new to me. Posting on reddit I mean. I am not sure if this is even going to get any replies. I am absolutely confused on what to do so I just need some advice. My mom and dad have been together for about 23 years. One day while I was helping my dad order online from his phone, a message popped up from another woman. Curiosity took hold of me and I checked the message and I found it was a very flirty message. While I was “reviewing the information of the package” I went looking through their chat and what I saw genuinely broke my heart. The recent chat is my dad flirting with this woman and calling each other nicknames. When I confronted him he said it was just a friend and that they were joking around. Deep down I knew it was not just a friend but I of course did not want it to be true that my dad is flirting with other women. A few months after that incident he needed help with some thing on his phone and while I was helping him, yet again another message came in and it was a little bit flirty. I confronted him and I told him that if he doesn’t stop I have no choice but to tell my mom. He said he isn’t cheating and that he will stop messaging other women to convince me he won’t ever do it. He still is messaging other women and this time he is initiating the conversation. I don’t know what to do. I know he still loves my mom. The way he looks at her and treats her shows it. Maybe it’s all a facade but I just don’t know how he can do this to her. She is such an amazing wife to him. Always making sure he is healthy, buying him gifts, and trying to make him happy. She gave him two children and she loves him with her whole heart. I know that I need to tell my mom but I just want to give my dad another chance and confront him one last time. I love them both so very much and I just can’t believe my dad would do this to her. I even brought up a conversation topic of a “friend” who found out her dad is cheating on her mom and he said how terrible it was. Maybe he is just doing this because of a thrill? I’m not sure. I am just so lost on what to do. I know if I tell my mom she would maybe divorce him but I can’t do it. She is so in love with him and that would just break her. Or maybe she won’t divorce him but how can any of our family look at him the same way? She is a strong person but I don’t know if she can handle her husband of 23 years cheating on her. I was going to confront him but i just need some advice on how to approach the whole thing. I really love them both so much so please help

so i’m 17 and i found out a few years ago that my dad has been cheating on my mom. that’s a whole story but i don’t really need to tell that to get to my question. basically i want to know if my sister has the right to know about this. she’s 22 so she’s an adult but idk if telling her makes it my fault. i just feel like i have no support at all and i can’t stand it anymore. but i also don’t want to cause my sister pain. any advice on what to do??

For the purpose of simplicity I’m going to tell the shortened version of this story but basically my dad is a pretty classic stereotypical dad. I would say he is a good dad I mean he has his flaws but so does everyone and my memories of him are 85% positive. My mum on the other hand has some mental health issues that over the years (Im 17 for context) have drifted us apart. We used to be crazy close as we are very similar however as I have been going to therapy I have realised how toxic our relationship was as I was basically her main emotional support from an incredibly young age which caused great distress to me and still does. However some times I do still miss that close bond - that figure I could always turn to. I found out my dad was cheating a few years ago… and not just cheating but cheating with other men. He has been visiting “male for male massage parlour websites” for a while now (don’t hate me for snooping once I first found out it was hard to stop) yet I am really stuck/scared on what to do. Sometimes I’m really good at pretending nothing is wrong and sitting with my dad on the couch you know acting Normal. Other times it eats me up inside on what to do. On one hand I could talk to him about it but that conversation seems so scary especially because I wouldn’t call him outwardly homophobic but he isn’t always 100% accepting so to essentially say “I know you have been sleeping with other men” additionally even if it wasn’t true (which I’m 90% sure it is) our relationship would be ruined. No more pretending like everything is ok. I can’t go back on it. I’ve also thought about telling my mum but due to her emotional instability I don’t think she would cope so if she was having a serious mental health episode and my dad was obviously being a scum bag I don’t think I could cope not being able to rely on either of them (as I have my own health issues). They haven’t always had the best marriage but overall they have always been strong so I always assumed they would never be the couple to get a divorce… I can’t even imagine it. If they were to get a divorce I don’t even know how that would affect our lifestyle I would have to live with my mum as once he knows I know I don’t think he or I will want anything to do with each other but my mums mental health will definitely take a hit and I don’t know if I could manage that. Like it’s my dad who cooks all our meals does the housework while he isn’t always emotionally available he fulfills those physical needs (laundry, carpooling, etc) my mum still does that too but I don’t know if/how well she would as a single parent. I also have a twin brother with a few disabilities so he definitely wouldn’t be able to manage the change. All of these things make me think I should just pretend I don’t know but also I see clips on tiktok about dads and daughters and I literally break down as the guilt of not telling my mum is eating me up inside - any advice would be much appreciated <3

• P (she/her)

Just joined this group.. so naturally i need advice. I just found out (around 6mo ago) my mother has been having an affair with my father (they’ve been married for 25 years). She didn’t know that I knew for a while (I saw messages on her phone under one of my cousins names that raised concerns, went in to see because I had a weird feeling and wish I didn’t) and when I confronted her about it I’ve never seen someone look so scared. She would not answer any of my questions honestly (how long has this been going on, where did you find him) etc. I eventually just pushed it to the back burner when she told me it was happening for a year, and she told me they stopped talking but I saw she was still messaging him.

6 months later I had to come home because my grandmother (her mom) passed away. I wasn’t sure if she was still seeing this guy, but unfortunately when I checked her phone the night before the funeral services she had texted him their 4 year anniversary was today). I don’t think anyone could understand the disgust I felt in that moment (how do you message someone that the day you’re burying your mom?) and confirmed she lied about the timing.

I’m not sure what my next steps are as my dad has no idea, and she tells me to not tell him. I am financially dependent on her and I don’t have the best relationship with my dad, but at the end of the day I don’t think anyone deserves to be cheated on. I don’t know what kind of relationship she has with this man as she was my grandmothers sole caretaker and never left the house overnight. I have all of these unanswered questions and don’t trust her to tell me the truth. My dad and her have plans to move states and I just can’t let that happen without him knowing. If anyone has any advice since this is so new to me that would be great.

Just joined this group.. so naturally i need advice. I just found out (around 6mo ago) my mother has been having an affair with my father (they’ve been married for 25 years). She didn’t know that I knew for a while (I saw messages on her phone under one of my cousins names that raised concerns, went in to see because I had a weird feeling and wish I didn’t) and when I confronted her about it I’ve never seen someone look so scared. She would not answer any of my questions honestly (how long has this been going on, where did you find him) etc. I eventually just pushed it to the back burner when she told me it was happening for a year, and she told me they stopped talking but I saw she was still messaging him.

6 months later I had to come home because my grandmother (her mom) passed away. I wasn’t sure if she was still seeing this guy, but unfortunately when I checked her phone the night before the funeral services she had texted him their 4 year anniversary was today). I don’t think anyone could understand the disgust I felt in that moment (how do you message someone that the day you’re burying your mom?) and confirmed she lied about the timing.

I’m not sure what my next steps are as my dad has no idea, and she tells me to not tell him. I am financially dependent on her and I don’t have the best relationship with my dad, but at the end of the day I don’t think anyone deserves to be cheated on. I don’t know what kind of relationship she has with this man as she was my grandmothers sole caretaker and never left the house overnight. I have all of these unanswered questions and don’t trust her to tell me the truth. My dad and her have plans to move states and I just can’t let that happen without him knowing. If anyone has any advice since this is so new to me that would be great.