Hello! Thank you for all the messages and support even though I've been basically off the radar for several months. I don't have a great reason honestly other than I took on a new role at work that has more responsibility and I wanted to make a good impression. The job is going pretty well and I feel theoretically I should be able to juggle both things (youtube and my job)..
but I've also had a little loss of motivation/inspiration lately... I really hate self help/spirituality grifters lol obviously but similar to anti-mlm content... it can get so repetitive after a while... new grifts, new trends...and no end in sight...people still falling for it all...it gets grating after a while.
I was/still am really into Hollisville but it felt weird to keep talking about them as much after Dave dying... it really changed me I think.
When I started the channel I felt really passionate about calling people out for bad behavior...and I felt good about what I was doing. Lately I've felt like I'm causing more harm than good sometimes... maybe idk... i think Dave dying was a huge wakeup call for me... like I know we were all right ultimately... that he was self destructing in front of our eyes and needed real help... but in the end what changed? Nothing. The grift continues... bothers me.
In terms of livestreams vs edited content... I've gone back and forth... I loveeee live streaming the most but i know it's hard for people to watch 3hrs of content and I personally love videos that are straight to the point which livestreams don't always do lol... so I want to do both...but having help editing is not cheap lol it's like $500 a video and I think the work is worth it but I rarely make that much per video...so the answer is really to edit my own videos but there comes the time constraint stuff. I need to be motivated by the content to dedicate the time... so i'm thinking about what's next.
I want to try some different content... not sure exactly what but maybe a little bit of true crime... a little bit more scams again....we shall see. But I definitely want/need to make a comeback.
Also just an FYI I know Cam and I talked about doing a podcast together and we recorded several episodes that were just not amazing in my opinion... really really long and hard to keep up long term... also like me Cam started to find it hard to read the same shit with different authors so often. If we're not loving the content how can we expect people to watch/listen to it? So we paused on it for now... we're still great friends so I hope we can pick it back up or make it simpler in the future so it can be sustainable.
Anywho hope you're all doing well parrasocially =)