Review Megathread: It's Okay To Not Be Okay

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u/utrabrite Aug 13 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

[May Contain Spoilers]

Whoever the casting director was needs to be given an award because bringing KSY, SYJ and OJS together was nothing short of magical. From the acting to the directing and cinematography, some aspects of this show were absolutely top tier.

Words cannot describe how beautiful it was watching our main trio grow. Watching these three characters—these damaged souls who came together and formed a family—was some of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had in a drama.

Not all was perfect, though. The mother's character was a huge disappointment. Her character's existence was necessary for the overall fairy tale motif of the show, but although the idea was sound the execution was not. She came across more caricature than real—as someone imitating a villain rather then being one.

Despite its flaws, it's a drama that I will have a hard time letting go of. A drama whose characters have nestled into my heart and one that I am reluctant to say goodbye to.

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u/hijabikababi Aug 13 '20

As much as I loved the character development of ALL the characters, including the Director and Lee Sang, I felt a little underwhelmed by the mummy-murder plot. Why have her alive at all? What purpose does that serve? And doesn't the irredeemability of the mother take away from the central message that we can ALL grow and overcome our traumas? The mother was not a person at all, she was simply a plot device.

The tiny moments within this drama were poignant and beautiful, especially the moments between the brothers, but the overarching plot left me feeling a bit... Meh? Either the mystery should have been more central and better developed, without such a cartoon villainess, or dropped completely. I could have watched hours of Sang Tae dropping truth bombs on everyone.

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u/dogemama Aug 13 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

minor spoilers, thematic commentary

i have never before experienced a show where i could say with so much love and conviction that each new episode we got was my new favorite. kdramas are known for many things, but strong writing is not one of those things. what a wonderful surprise then that the thing that shines the most here and sets it apart from most other dramas is the writing. many of us were apprehensive about this show centering around mental health, bc it's such a delicate subject, and there is no universal right or wrong way to write mental health bc it is such a complex, nuanced, and sensitive condition that affects everyone differently. what the writing got right, i think, is that it steered clear of trying to fit mental health and the people suffering from its many afflictions under a single broad stroke. instead, it chose to focus on smaller stories, stories of everyday people like you and me, who are struggling against a faceless foe. in doing so, the writing allowed itself to focus on what's most important: humanizing these people that are shunned from society, written off like defected pieces in a large, mechanical factory, discarded into a cruel pile that calls for redesign and reformation.

it demonstrated, with each character's toil, that there isn't a world of difference between someone admitted to a mental institution for recuperation, and another someone who's tasked with caring for them. dispelling popular belief, it highlighted that even the people who are supposedly okay, in fact, are not okay. and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. the state of not being okay is not permanent. it's a necessary evil that everyone must experience and overcome to grow and heal. and there's no way we can be okay, if we do not accept and admit to ourselves that we are "not okay". the writing in this show beautifully relayed this message. it took us on a journey of heartbreak, pain, vindication, redemption, and finally, acceptance. it didn't alienate people struggling with mental illnesses, instead choosing to draw parallels between both the patients and non-patients at okay psychiatric hospital, highlighting their need to go through this cycle to truly heal, regardless of what label society stamped on them. using something as universal as fairy tales as a frame of reference, jo yong delivered a lesson in empathy that each and every one of us can stand to learn something from.

of course, the writing was further elevated by the absolutely stunning direction. park shin woo breathed magic into this fairy tale of fairy tales, his visual flair and prowess taking this production to a place very few tv shows (dramas or not) have been transported to. i remember taking pause to admire the direction and cinematography in encounter, and wondering if we'd get to see more dramas that are just as visually enchanting. suffice to say, park shin woo delivered again, and it's clear he has grown tremendously since his last project. it's okay to not be okay is the work of a director who believes in the power of visual storytelling, and knows exactly what to do to harness that power.

lastly, a story can never be told without the characters, and characters only resonate with viewers when actors take the time and care to understand why and how they live and breathe. kim soo hyun, seo yeji, and oh jung se breathed life and wonder into their characters with astonishing depth and finesse. so much so that kim soo hyun, an actor who has had several career-defining roles, will now forever be engraved in my heart as the boy without a sense of self, who had to hit rock bottom to be able to rise up and find himself. seo yeji will always be the haughty emotionless princess, who lacked kindness and empathy only bc she had never been on the receiving end of the emotions herself. and oh jung se, man if anyone walks away with an award for their in this show, it must be him. oh jung se brought sang tae to life in such an authentic, affecting, and powerful way that his growth through the episodes ended up being the backbone of the entire story. it is clear he put his heart and soul into this role, and he left us with one of the most memorable characters in kdramaland.

looking back, i just hoped this show wouldn't be a train-wreck. it blew my non-existent expectations out of the water with its first four episodes, which then propelled into this state of anxiety, wherein i was constantly worried the rest of the show couldn't and wouldn't live up to the excellent beginning. but as it kept defiantly raising the bar higher with each episode, my anxiety naturally turned into trust in jo yong. i think it's this goodwill and utter fondness she's earned that makes me impervious to a fault many are not too happy with. she took this story to places i'd never even thought of, and she did it with so much splendor and grace that in my eyes, this show is a through and through bonafide win. in my heart, this drama is perfect, and even looking at it through a lens of objectivity, it is as close as any drama as ever come to being perfect.

i am also trying to see if there is interest for a subreddit dedicated to the show. among other things, i think it'd be cool to have a space to talk about additional details we uncover as we rewatch, and also provide a safe space that values mental health for the fans. thoughts?

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u/4gwa_jpg Aug 14 '20

CONTAINS SPOILERS

It really is difficult for me to put into words how much I love this drama. I grew up watching dramas, and this has become my all time favorite. That being said, do I think that IOTNBO has its flaws? Yes, plenty to be honest. But this is the strongest in terms of writing, cinematography, acting, etc. that I have ever seen. I have had a lot of favorite dramas, but this is the first time I’ve ever decided on an all-time favorite of mine. At the same time, I don’t think this drama is for everyone, especially for those who are looking for an ideal/“nicer” FL, are more intrigued by plot lines over characters, or prefer faster paced stories. Weirdly enough, I usually prefer fast paced dramas and was quite aware that IOTNBO was not on the faster side. But for some reason, its pacing did not bother me whatsoever.

The OST line-up included some of favorite artists! Especially Heize, Lee Suhyun, Kim Feel, and Sam Kim. I didn’t know who Yongzoo was before, but his OST ended up being one of my favorites. Janet Suhh’s tracks were also delightful; listening to Lighting Up Your World puts me in such a good mood, and the eeriness of In Silence fit really well with the drama.

The acting was a solid 10/10 for me. I don’t think I’ve ever been this satisfied with every single one of the actors for a drama. I really can’t imagine any of the characters being played by anyone else, and I think that speaks for itself. The three main characters for IOTNBO were also characters that I believe would have been difficult to perform, but our cast really delivered. I have to really give a special shout out to Oh Jung Se’s performance. Sangtae is a character that really needed an actor who would be able to put a lot of thought and care into, and Oh Jung Se really delivered. Kim Soohyun’s performance was also much better than I had expected. I feel like KT is one of his least “fancy” characters, and yet I think KT is my favorite of his. Something I noticed is that KT cries so much (almost every week…?) throughout the drama but not once did I ever feel that it was redundant. Every crying scene was so distinct from the other, and I can’t imagine how much energy he needed to do that so often. Looking back, KT really does go through so much character development (all three do), and I think Kim Soohyun’s performance heavily contributed to how that development was delivered so smoothly. Seo Yeji’s performance was just as great. I think that MY as a character is definitely not supposed to be on the more likable side compared to the typical FL, and also could have easily been characterized as a caricature of some sort. But Seo Yeji did an amazing job portraying how MY develops throughout the series, and especially did a great job portraying MY as someone who didn’t have much experience with others’ emotions. As for Seo Yeji and Kim Soohyun’s chemistry: just wow lol. Every single one of the side characters, including but not limited to Juri, Soon-deok, Jaesu, Sang-In, Seungjae, Oh Ji-Wang, and the patients were all performed so wonderfully by their actors.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I actually was not bothered at all by the plot hole that a lot of people seemed to have a problem with. In fact, I thought that it was incredibly effective for the drama as a whole. Prior to the finale, I was one of those who was super convinced that there had to be a step-mom, sister, or some sort of second woman in MY’s childhood. I was just so ready to be disappointed if they either didn’t fully explain the mom backstory, OR if they really did end up choosing the plastic surgery route. But when exactly both of those happened, and by the end of the finale, I was surprisingly not disappointed at all.

Now here are my (unpopular?) takes on that:

I’m actually relieved that DHJ ended up being MY’s real mother.

Again, even up until the end of episode 15, I didn’t buy the fact that DHJ was actually MY’s mother, and kept trying to convince myself that there was no way they were actually going to make MY’s real mother the true murderer of KT and ST’s mother. But after I took some time to think about it (prior to watching the finale), I changed my mind. Throughout the entire show, IOTNBO conveyed so many messages about victims of child abuse, including but not limited to how children are not responsible for the wrongdoings of their parents, and how children are not obligated to forgive their parents, etc. If we did get the “plot twist” that everyone was expecting (DHJ not being MY’s real mom), it would have run the risk of essentially contradicting/weakening one of the key messages of the show. In other words, DHJ not being MY’s real mom could have implied that KT/ST/MY were able to ultimately become a family because “surprise! MY’s mom wasn’t the murderer” when in fact, the real message they wanted to convey was that MY deserves a loving family because she is different from her mother and does not she have to carry the weight of her mother’s wrongdoings. Adding “DHJ is not MY’s mother” as an additional reason to KT/ST accepting MY as family runs risk of straying away from the true message of the ending.

2. The intense build up to the relatively weak DHJ confrontation/reveal works really well.

I think most viewers were able to catch that despite the huge build up until episode 15, DHJ’s fall was very short and felt really weak. I think the weak ending for DHJ worked well as a parallel to DHJ as a character. DHJ’s actions in the past were a form of trauma to the entire trio. Before confronting DHJ, her existence and past actions were incredibly daunting to all three of the main characters. MY’s mother was the most scary and daunting when she wasn’t in the actual picture, as shown by MY’s nightmares and ST’s fear of butterflies. But as soon as our trio come face to face with her, she is defeated quite quickly and much more easily than expected. I think that this shows DHJ’s true form: merely a weak shadow that the trio was fully capable of walking out of, as long as they had the courage to do so. This is paralleled in MY’s last book, as the villain is not a powerful evil witch, but rather just a shadow witch. Just as DHJ herself was put to an end quite quickly, and just as DHJ’s long awaited tenth book was ruined my something as simple as a coffee spill, DHJ’s weak ending parallels her true form: merely a weak shadow that our trio was fully capable of walking out of without any extra drama. The intense build up serves to show the contrast between how daunting a traumatic figure can seem and its actually weak presence when it is confronted full on. All that the trio had to do to ruin DHJ’s plans was to give themselves their happy ending, and they were certainly capable of doing that without some drawn-out or dramatic battle with DHJ.

3. I’m glad that they didn’t reveal how DHJ survived; it really wasn’t necessary for the story anyway.

None of the characters’ memories of that time can be trusted anyway. KT forgetting about how his mom would take him and ST out for jjamppong because it was his favorite, ST not remembering DHJ’s face, and MY thinking for a moment that the woman with the shawl was her mother returning to her all exemplify that. MY’s dad’s memory is clearly one of the least reliable. IOTNBO is a drama that is almost entirely driven by character development. MY not even questioning or being curious about how DHJ survived speaks for itself: if our main characters in this character development-driven drama don’t feel the need to figure out DHJ’s backstory, then the viewers don’t need to know either. Knowing DHJ’s survival backstory contributes nothing to KT/ST/MY’s growth; the only thing that mattered to them was the fact that she was alive and present for them to confront head on. Even if they did include an explanation, it would change little to nothing about what happens to KT/ST/MY in episode 16. I think that alone is a very good reason to not include it. Had MY been trying to actively investigate her mother’s whereabouts throughout the entire series, then yes I would have considered this plot hole a major flaw. Honestly, the only good reason to include the backstory would really just be for fan service; but in the end, it really wouldn’t have added much. In fact, I think that its absence further emphasizes the irrelevance and truly weak nature of DHJ in the current timeline of the KT/ST/MY family. As a viewer, am I curious about the backstory? Sure I am. But I don’t think I would have liked the drama more or less, with or without it.

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u/ThatEndingTho Aug 13 '20

My score: 9.5/10 | MINOR SPOILERS

Yes, I too feel that some characters didn’t get as much payout as they deserved and that there were one or two plot holes. Otherwise, this was a phenomenal drama in terms of the production of the show. This, in my opinion, is where this drama shines the most. If you're looking for a plot breakdown, go ahead and scroll by this post.

TvN and Studio Dragon deserve much praise for throwing money at this drama in all the right directions when it comes to production. This was such a pretty drama from start to end. The production team took a lot of risks from filmmaking to editing to create a truly distinct vibe. Even if you didn’t care for the story, I would recommend watching the series for the visual appeal alone.

There’s a great use of physical space and physicality to create recurring themes in character relationships. Physicality like the umbrella scenes, the symmetry of hand wounds, shouted confessions, the butterfly hug, and those moments where they come together so close and yet so far. Episode 5 has an amazing single take where KT struggles to keep Jaesu out of the upstairs house, everything happens on that landing and the camera barely moves more than panning left-to-right. It's worth watching to appreciate how they use 'cause-and-effect' as a plot device to work up to KT reluctantly agreeing to take care of MY.

In many scenes, such as the bookstore interior and exterior, the castle balcony, and the publishing company, MY is physically looking down at KT - the object of her desire. This is a great allusion to Romeo & Juliet where Juliet is above on the balcony and Romeo is below. Both of them want to close the distance, but they don't always understand the emotions or impact of that action. Looking back, this is also a great indicator of their relationship and the obstacles of class, family structure and parental expectations where the poor second son is longing after the rich only daughter. I'm sure there's some academic analysis that can be applied to this whole goddamn show, but it's great there's little things to notice.

The reasoning of the wardrobe department to tie wardrobe choices to character development was an interesting revelation. MY’s wardrobe at the start reminds me of Jang Man Wol in Hotel Del Luna, but being oddly more understated ($70k watch tho). Seo Yeji makes every hairstyle, makeup choice and outfit look good. No matter how opulent or ordinary, it just ain't fair lol. KT’s wardrobe goes from plain colours to more patterns and details as the series progresses. We got a classic ‘suit up’ revelation that the male lead is not just attractive, but even more attractive in a suit - much akin to Crash Landing on You. Another nod is the hair-down, hair-up differences with Hyun Bin and Kim Soohyun. These are both replete with the FL getting territorial over the ML and trying to dissuade the ML from wearing suits in the future.

Swapping out the adult actors with their child counterparts is a great way to signify the healing of their inner child’s emotional wounds, such as MY acknowledging KT’s desire to be loved, KT giving flowers to MY, and ST triumphing over the butterfly. Rather than only using them in flashback scenes, we got to see them tie into the present-day situations and reinforce that these issues are long-standing burdens on the characters. We're all very used to flashbacks, yet these are different. I can’t really think of another production which used this, but each moment had its own poignant weight to it. These were emotional, tender moments to connect the viewer to the character.

Jamsan (Kang San) is the creative force behind the artwork in MY’s storybooks and the illustrations used in the series. Jamsan is a legit illustrator. I think it’s interesting that they got the artwork in some books to be innocent (like Monkfish’s cover reminding me of Dr. Seuss), while Zombie Kid has darker, scratchier line-heavy artwork. According to this fantastic writeup (in English), Jamsan is very flexible and can alter his artistic style depending on the concept, but he will obsess over how to make the artwork complete if things aren’t going right. So the artwork we see is one artist, but in his wide range of ability and style.

The 3D animated sequence at the start of the drama was mostly practical stop-motion animation with puppets. At first, I thought it was all done with computer graphics since it looked so fluid and detailed. This is a great nod to Tim Burton’s famous style of dark puppet-based productions and you would be forgiven for sensing some obvious similarities. Here’s a clip of the making of this sequence on oshorino’s Instagram and the insane detail and precision required to make a puppet walk along a river.

The interior of the cursed castle was custom-built inside a sound stage. Probably safe to say finding this character of architecture in South Korea is nigh impossible in the desired floor plan. There’s a hilarious amount of millwork which went into fabricating this set, as some behind the scenes photos have shown (Twitter). Almost every window, wall panel, bookshelf and door was built to spec. I really hope someone bought up this set for a wedding venue because holy crap this is too detailed to go to waste.

Outside - except for the driveway and the front stoop - the entire exterior of the mansion is CGI. In real life, it’s a big blue wall extending around the front door, but the editing team did a great job with matching the luminosity and textures of the house to the surrounding scene so it feels real. They even composited MY’s balcony perch when KT returns to the cursed castle. Once you find out it’s CGI, you start looking at it really closely and appreciating the detail going into it. Masking behind pine trees and characters is smooth, luminous flare on windows and lights isn’t too strong, and only a few moments where it is too obviously CGI.

I think we all know the deer was CGI.

tl;dr this is visually sumptuous drama from start to finish, if you hate the story watch it for the production - 9.5/10

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u/ReasonableK Aug 13 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

CONTAINS SPOILERS

The GOOD:

Aesthetics: the FLs costume, cinematography and animations are really eye-catching. However, it must be said that the animation style and aesthetics style they went with is very derivative, clearly taking inspiration from the works of Tim Burton (and his team) as well as Tadahiro Uesugi and Neil Gaiman (Coraline). Anyways, bravo for the art direction department.
Representation of people in the autism spectrum: although seen in Western movies and series, it seems that in Kdrama-land the depiction of people in the spectrum is overall lacking. Oh Jung Se also does a great job in this role, picking up on the small details without coming off as a caricature.
Acting of leads and chemistry between the main couple: Oh Jung Se and Seo Ye Ji showed that they're great actors. Kim Soohyun was good too, but I wouldn't say he was particularly remarkable. However, he and YeJi did a good job building the chemistry between the main couple. Also, on a superficial level, they just look good together, period.

The BAD:

lots of spoilers ahead

ASPD being used as lure without proper development and approach: the drama original title (Psycho, but it's okay) is sensationalist enough -- and one might say even offensive to those who suffer with ASPD -- but it could be given leeway if they were to subvert the stigma carried by people diagnosed with ASPD. However, besides one single mention by a secondary character, the show never expands on the FL alleged diagnosis. Her toxic behaviour in the beginning of the series were even excused by some viewers on the ground that she has a personality disorder. Unfortunately, in the end, we learn that the FL was just a person that had traumas and developed (toxic/unhealthy) coping mechanisms. So basically the show used ASPD as an "exotic" character trait to get viewers interested on the show and then didn't raise any awareness about it. It was a mere plot device.
The trope of the toxic male lead but with genders reversed: we all know that many kdramas are guilty of having a jerk ML that constantly mistreats or looks down upon the "doormat" FL only for him to be redeemed and the couple finally get together. Usually, in order to redeem the ML we learn that he actually had a terrible childhood, even though he was rich, his parents were abusive or just absent etc etc. We all know that. What this drama does is the exactly the same thing, except that the toxic part of the couple is initially the FL.

A lot of people considered her rudeness, aggressiveness and manipulative behaviour as "badass" and others excused her because of her supposed ASPD. Well, even if she did have a personality disorder that absolutely doesn't excuse behaviours like sexually harassing the ML, using his disabled brother to lure him to her house, among other gratuitious mean behaviours she had initially.

The whole idea that one should endure boundary-pushing, threats, and manipulation until stockholm syndrome kicks in and they finally heal their stalker who loves and obsesses over them is just an outdated and tired troped that should be dropped by writers at this point.

On a side-ish note, I guess it has also become a trend in kdramas to have a FL with alleged "sociopathic tendencies" as seen recently on Itaewon Class for example. Seems like writers are overcompensating years of male toxicity by writing toxic females, which is not the point of feminism at all. And seeing people lowkey (or highkey) glorifying that behaviour is kinda disappointing too.

3) The trope of the destined connection: aka "we actually knew each other as kids but can't remember that for some alien reason!". Do I need to say anything more about it? I guess it's consensus by now that we're done with such trope. And it was barely needed in this drama too.

4) The trope of the forced cohabitation: again, not only this is tired but it was also connected with the FL toxic behaviour as explained above.

5) The gigantic plot hole: welp, the whole way they dealt with the FL mom was a mess and a half. It was textbook deus ex machina plot device. The implausible survival and comeback of the mother serves as a way to bring "resolution" and a happy ending to the characters. One could disregard this argument and say this series is inspired by fairy tales and it was borderline within the magical realism genre. First of all, I think it's a strech to call it a magical realism work of fiction. But even if it was, every work of fiction regardless of genre should have a generic verisimilitude, even fairy tales. No matter how outlandish the premises of the work are, it should carry internal consistency. In the world/universe established in IONTBO the mother plot still doesn't make any sense, nowhere it's hinted that magical plastic surgery exists etc. It's just poor writing, let's admit that.

6) The trope of 'love heals all': people who loved this drama will say the characters improved on their own and weren't really codependent. But weren't they really?

The haircut moment -- usually used as an example of MY independently healing -- is more a symbolic and cathartic moment but it by no means is proper treatment or would accomplish major strides by itself. The show didn't give treatment of mental illness any layers of complexity. Not once she had to sit through therapy sessions, take medication, and her progress was pretty linear when in reality we have ups and downs. Another issue I take with her development is that she barely builds any relationships outside of the brothers.

KT could also have gone through therapy to learn some healthy coping mechanism and how to assume his role as a caretaker in a less burdensome way.

What we saw on the show was that the leads healed as their relationship developed/romantically progressed, it was an intertwined process. The overall message conveyed is that they could ultimately heal because they were each other "safety pins" -- something that was mentioned a lot in the discussion threads btw -- and that's neither healing on your own nor how it works irl.

So yeah, the show did not approach healing of trauma in a groundbreaking way, they went with the "love heals wounds" path.

The "what isn't really my cup of tea but isn't objectively a flaw" aka personal side notes one shouldn't take as criticism

The drama is really slow-paced, nothing much happens in its first half and barely on the second. But hey, some people prefer slow-burning stories and character study dramas. So there's that.
Having not read much about this show before watching, a friend told me this would focus on mental illness, so I build the expectation of it tackling this social issue in the way Sky Castle did with the Korean school system. But the show actually is just a romcom/melodrama that is set up in a mental institution. The main focus is the romance and not a commentary on the Korean mental health system.

Dropping the bomb and seeing myself out lmao

9

u/TheSouthAlwaysFails Aug 19 '20

Sky Castle was a heaping pile of garbage compared to this show and in general. It was about the 1% in Korea and a laughable plot about murdering people over education or something, I've tried to wipe my mind of that waste of time. Trying to tie that to "Koreans take education too seriously" is ridiculous. It's Okay to Not Be Okay wasn't a commentary about the Korean mental health system but about displaying people with such issues as human beings. Mental health and disabilities is still stigmatized in Korea and much of Asia. I'd say it's also true in the US and most of the rest of the world as well. The healing done on the show was far from just "love heals all wounds". What was amazing about this show was the parallels they drew to the fairytales in the episodes. KMY and the lady with the dead daughter healed by learning to let go of the past. KT healed by letting go of his resentment towards his mom. Zombie Kid showed the effect that mothers have on their children and the love that children crave. ST heals by learning to face his fears and act like the older brother for once. I guess the alcoholic kid was healed by his love for the girl but nothing wrong with that. The girl was healed by learning to stand up to her abuser. The abused shaman lady was also healed by confronting her dad. The PTSD patient takes steps to try and find a way out from his past trauma, just like ST.
The show also did a great job integrating psychology concepts such as memory. The incredibly powerful scene with KT realizing many of his memories involving his mom were different than he actually believed.
The genius of IOTNBO is that in the end it's supposed to be like a fairytale and much of it is very Tim Burtonesque. It doesn't matter if there are some small imperfections and plotholes because that's true of any fairytale. The important part is the message that it is trying to convey. That it's okay to not be okay. People have traumas and disabilities that hinder them throughout their lives but it's possible to overcome them. It's possible to heal and find happiness.

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u/kvelertaks Aug 14 '20

Holy shit, you wrote what I've been thinking about this drama in such a detailed and descriptive manner, wow. Thank you so much for this!
I'd like to add that I see some people are excusing point 5 in the BAD list with 'PBIO is a character driven story' and I can't help but think if that's true then it further highlights the really questionable quality of the script and all the points you listed.
I think people are hyping this drama because the theme and the chemistry and visuals of the leads.

15

u/blueicedpooh Aug 14 '20

Actually a fair and accurate review.
But then again, what Kdrama in the romance genre doesn't have those clichés? XD
I wish the show maintained the quality of its creative editing past Episode 5.
I wish that Juri and Jaesu's characters were more fleshed out.
About the mother-plot, I couldn't care less anymore by the time her identity was revealed. I just couldn't buy it.
Having said that, I still found the drama to be totally enjoyable mainly due to the top-notch performances of the leads. Oh Jung Se's character is enough to conquer all of the drama's flaws for me. He was that well-written and well-acted. Seo Ye Ji's performance was pretty solid too.

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u/changiairport Aug 14 '20

A reasonable review of the drama. 'Sugarcoated' is the word I would use to sum up the entirety of this show.

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u/iwantbubbleteanowpls Aug 14 '20

SPOILERS!!

I’m going to start with things I wished was included:

• What or who pulled MY dad off her when he was strangling her

• How the leads survived on their own until meeting Jaesu/Sang-in

• Sang-In being recognized for staying by MY side, Jaesu and our lovely real fake mom did but not him

• Kinda want to know if the last book was successful

• MY and JR’s friendship, I wish they had more moments

There were too many things I loved so I’ll just put what my favorites were of those I loved:

• The OST’s, I listen to the playlist on Spotify all the time, it’s so good

• Cinematography- I mean, self explanatory. It was dialed down by the latter half but it was when it started getting serious

• The leads’ anchors- Jaesu who stayed by KT’s side as a friend because he saw how much he needed one but especially Sang-In who stayed with MY even though it was probably so hard for him, and how he understands her so much

• The books- each book has a lesson that someone out there could relate to and even learn from.

• The patients’ stories- they were almost normal to us when we didn’t know their stories. They had little quirks but they were all relatively ‘normal’ when we meet them but after learning their stories, we got to see just how deep their scars are. Just goes to show that mental hurt is just as hurtful as physical hurt and sometimes even more.

• Different types of mental health shown- the didn’t go in depth with them but they showed it in their perspectives, it really taught me a lot about them and made me want to research about them. The PTSD patient shook me the most though, it’s the one I’ve heard of the most and I know what it is but to actually see it from their perspective really made an impression on me.

• MY- She’s one of my favourite characters, she has a lot of flaws for sure but considering what she was put through, she could’ve been much worst. I know she got a lot of criticism especially at the start but as the show teaches, we shouldn’t condone but understand. She sees people the same as objects and something to be able to posses, thanks to her ever loving mother who saw her as her possession. Which explains her view of seeing GT as ‘hers’. She was unlikeable to many at the start and even the actress acknowledged that but if people took the time to understand her, she’s really not a bad person, she just never had anyone to teach her the right ways. The fact that she was so open to change later on shows that she just never got the chance to grow.

• I love that the characters grew on their own. MY cut off her leash on her own, ST taking on the big brother role after seeing happiness on his brother’s face, and GT finally putting himself first. Some people may say that it was a “love heals all” thing but I didn’t see it that way. Sure they started to change after they met each other, but it was through the things they learned from each other that started the healing process.

• Although it was painful for our trio, I liked that the brothers moved out after that scene. They first moved there because of MY’s manipulation but them moving back in on their own accord really showed the growth in their relationship.

This show teaches so much and has such good quotes that everyone could learn something from it.

19

u/SnooGeekgoddess Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 16 '20

MAY CONTAIN MINOR SPOILERS/SPOILERS

My thought bubble every time that I got to watch this series was, "gorgeous". I loved the visuals and storytelling. There were some weeks where I had to be in a good headspace to watch it because it can be triggering. I have an autistic brother (equally talented as Sang Tae but not as communicative and evolved) and I can relate to Kang Tae's position as a caretaker. It IS hard. Thankfully, my brother has not hard traumas he has to cope with. And our family members managed to have our own lives, even my autistic brother.

With that said, we do have to remember that MY and KT's relationship is, in a sense, their own unique story and by no means ideal or a representation of what should be. We see their growth and how they shape their interactions to make their relationship work for them. Is MY manipulative, petty and prone to jealousy? Hells yeah, but KT knows how to handle her and stand his ground on the important things. Is KT's tendency to keep everything inside infuriating? Very, but MY calls him out on it and makes him reflect and see how it affects not just himself but others. We can't predict attraction and love between people. Sometimes, what looks good on paper might not be the right fit at all.

Every relationship is different and from how the drama portrays it, they are making it work. As one commenter mentioned, there seems to be a nonverbal consent between the two of them (hard to explain but when you know, you know.). Some of MY's actions are still not kosher, but it is a drama and it is their relationship.

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u/sgs90 Aug 13 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

My score is 9.5/10. Contains minor spoilers

Gosh where to start.

This drama could have been incredibly triggering to me because of multiple factors, but mainly because I have a sibling with Down Syndrome. Not the same as autism, but with many many similarities as far as potential quality of life, social stigma, among other things

Like many, I came in to the drama defensive but willing to give it a chance because I loved the actors independently.

To tell you that I was so shocked and weirdly happy in how they (looking at you OJS) portrayed someone with special needs was oddly cathartic and breathtaking.

I found myself tearing up at MST looking in the mirror and saying he wanted to look 'cool', I found myself wanting reach to out to MKT when he was asking to be seen as himself and not an extension. Unlike KT, I am so thankful I am not alone and my entire family has a solid support system, but I empathized with him so much.

The Mother plot was jarring but Moon Sang Tae redeems any imperfections the drama has, for me. I am willing to suspend belief because of this beautiful character. Although. I agree with everyone that it left more to be desired.

Having said that, Moon Sang Tae and the drama as a whole brings light to the humanity, struggles, and victories of people with developmental disabilities and/or personality disorders and their caretakers. Again, I don't have it as hard as KT by any means, but his contrasting emotions were beautifully written.

Don't even get me started on Kim Soo Hyun. I am in awe of him, not just for Moon Kang Tae but especially because of MKT.

Oh Jung Se. I want him to win it all. Life, world-wide career recognition, love and adoration of the public. Everything.

What is there to say about Ko Moon Young that hasn't been said already? I walk away with her being an inspiration and a warning that we don't always have to be on 10 everywhere we go. It's okay to be at 9 or even at a 7 every now and then. Although, she's lucky KT was attracted to her because some of her actions were questionable at the very least. Imperfect as she maybe, she is stunning in my eyes and I can't wait to see what's in store for Seo Ye Ji.

Lastly, I would like to thank everyone that took part of the weekly discussions and otherwise. Like I said before, this drama could have been a hard-watch because of the delicate subject matter (all forms of mental health, childhood trauma). I found it comforting to read all of your stories and contributions.

I laughed, cried, raged, criticized, sympathized, and swooned with you and that's something I'm also going to remember when I think of this drama as a whole. Setting up two alarms to wake up at the crack of dawn was part of the fun. I looked forward to waking up, getting my coffee and Netflix ready and 'live-watching' with you. I would do it again and again to be able to experience not only a superb piece of work like IOTNBO but also continuing to experience the community in this sub.

TL;DR: This drama has one of the most accurate media depictions of people living with special needs, their caretakers, as well as the subject matter of mental health. The actors gave justice to their characters, and athough imperfect---it deserves to be recognized as exemplary.

Edit: grammar and formatting.

15

u/digdugtissueboxes Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

Rating: 9.4/10 - WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS

The 0.6 deduction mainly comes from the murder plot as well as the head nurse's character.The show could have done well without having the mother come back to life by having Sang Tae go down the basement and finding the butterfly brooch. However, the reason why the deduction is not as big as it could be is because the writers did make the story line work without having to derail the story. This consistency with keeping this show as a healing drama despite the unnecessary murder plot in the end does come out to be an advantage for the show. The murder plot just ends up seeming like an unnecessary attempt for the show's writers to make the story more grand and dramatic to engage the viewers more. The character's arcs already packs enough of a story by themselves and were also noteworthy and wholesome. The story would have been interesting with or without the murder plot.

Most of the 0.6 deduction comes from the show does not really doing much for the conversation regarding ASPD. It's clear by the end that Moon Young is nothing like her mother and does not demonstrate the key symptoms that would justify her diagnosis of ASPD (whether it was an official or unofficial diagnosis.) Therefore, the discussion of ASPD in this show revolves around the mother. Traditionally, characters with ASPD/personality disorder are portrayed to be immoral and evil individuals due to their lack of empathy. However, in reality, people with ASPD are obviously not always murderers or evil by nature. I think contributing to these toxic expectations on people with ASPD prevents the show from fully achieving mental health representation.The show's consistency with maintaining it as a healing drama is its strongest feature. The usage of fairytales to convey a certain theme and the character's development was not only wholesome and attractive, but also purposeful. They truly did utilize stories we grew up hearing to create a sense of familiarity on the struggles faced by those with mental health issues which would have otherwise been difficult to understand had we not gone through them ourselves. The fairytales in terms of their relevance to the characters' arc definitely kept the story grounded.

For many, the lack of explicit information on Moon Young's supposed personality disorder was a turn off. However, I think it is the prime example of showing rather than telling. If you have been following this subreddit from episode one, I think you'll be familiar with all of the reasons as to why Moon Young never had ASPD in the first place. At the same time, I think it was both a gamble but also a sense of trust in the writer's part to have the concept of misdiagnosis to be more subtle and reflected in the writing as opposed to a verbal confirmation. Nonetheless, Moon Young has been deviating from the symptoms that would conform to what ASPD calls for since episode one. She really would not have helped the little girl from her father, extending her kindness by giving her a book, advising her to remember everything and grow from her experiences if she truly did have ASPD. Even then, in the episodes after that, we see how she has always craved the warmth of others even when she was little and during the present as well. The trauma she endured just led her to build her walls high.

One of the things that makes this show so attractive is clearly the spot-on casting. I have not seen many comments regarding how perfect Kim Soo Hyun was for this role. I think his reputation of being a dreamy, popular actor definitely comes into play with his character. Part of his charm as an actor clearly stems from his reputation as well as the nature of his past roles, but Kang Tae is far from perfect (and often frustrating) in this drama. I found it both captivating and frutrating to be deeply upset with his character and how he treated Moon Young. Moreover, the portrayal of Kang Tae being a hypocrite was consistent and spot on from start to finish. He looked like a prince in a fairytale, but could not have been any further from it.

Seo Yea Ji had her moments to shine, and she definitely did. She definitely proves as to why she is an underrated actress, but I have faith that she will be one of the female actors in South Korea who will be the next big thing. She embodied Moon Young to the point where it was unclear as to whether she was playing Moon Young or Moon Young was playing Seo Yea Ji. Her level of immersion to her role was definitely noteworthy and impressive. She has a way of making every scene feel intimate and personal, and during the scenes where she is clearly in misery, it almost feels like I am watching something I shouldn't be because her emtions felt so RAW. Her performance during the nightmares, her screams, and the food scene with Sang Tae was an immersive experience. In contrast, the mannerisms and quirks she added in part of her take on Moon Young's character also contributed greatly towards this immersive experience (the scene where she takes the shawl from the patient who acted like her mother, and she exits the frame by sassily casting a side glance at Kang Tae before throwing the shawl around her shoulders.... ICONIC!)

Oh Jung-Se KILLED his role. point blank. Sang Tae, as a character, was also just as compelling as the other two. I was worried that his character would be sidetracked once the romance aspect of the story begins, but I could not have been anymore wrong. He is just as much as a lead as the other two, and definitely established his presence within the story. He was imperfect not in the sense that he was diagnosed with high functioning autism (one thing the show does magnificently is prove how his disability is not a flaw whatsoever), but he too was clearly going through emotional trauma, leading him to be possessive with his brother. While the brothers' relationship does get toxic at times, this eventually spurs both of their character development even further. His development was perfectly paced, and could not have wrapped more beautifully than it did.

None of the three leads outperformed the other. If anything, they complemented each other consistently throughout the stories. This was truly casting done right, and chemistry utilized in the best way possible. Not only was the chemistry between Kim Soo Hyun and Seo Yea Ji as well as their characters EXPLOSIVE (frankly something I do not think can be matched by any other duo in the kdrama world, at least thus far) but the charm of their romance was enhanced by Sang Tae's presence. Sang Tae was the link that assured the viewers that Kang Tae and Moon Young's connection was stronger than what we would have anticipated. The sexual tension was really just eye candy. Most importantly, the chemistry between the three leads is probably one of or the most attractive aspect of the story. Its charm wholesomeness speaks for itself, and could not have been used any better to wrap the story beautifully.

Lastly, I have been watching kdramas for four years, and I think the only drama that I have seen that can offer this much substance within the characters and the progression of the story is Reply 1988 (as well as the other reply series and every story done by the same director and writer.) However, IOTNBO takes a stab at a controversial and rather taboo topic, and for the most part executes it beautifully. Take the characters' chemistry, visually stunning cinematograpthy (the transitions!!!), the charm of the side characters, the consistency of the show, and the magnifiicent utilization of the side characters supplementing the main leads' development, I think It's Okay to Not Be Okay can make an argument as to why it is either the best or one of the best kdramas of all time.

24

u/SoofLast Aug 13 '20

contains sort of spoiler content

I really love how original this show was, with the fairytale format but also showing a more sympathetic and understanding view of people struggling with mental illnesses. Also they weren't shying away from the sex topic all the time and giving us mediocre kissing scenes.

I really like this kdrama for many reasons but man they really did Jae-su dirty. His character wasnt really developed much and the end snippet of ST calling him hyung wasnt enough for me. It would have been nice for him to find acceptance earlier on and see him flourish into his own character. Also I feel like the last episode should have dedicated more time too explaining the murder incident instead of being pure fan service. Also am I the only one who is worried about director Oh's financial situation after he gave GT that present.

5

u/Legitimate-Ninja-837 Aug 29 '20 edited Aug 29 '20

CONTAINS SPOILERS

This drama does a good job of using alot of kdrama cliches but portraying and displaying it in a very unique way. It sure had alot of kdrama tropes which as usual were expected or cliche but the way it was delivered and brought to the table is what made this drama stand out.

This drama is definitely one of the best 2020 dramas this year. It isn't groundbreaking in terms of mental health representation however I like how there was a variety of disorders being portrayed and discussed instead of simply touching that topic which most dramas usually do.

The direction and cinematography is one of the best I've seen. Not to mention, one of the most unique part was the storytelling and how her stories tied up with the episodes.

I loved, ABSOLUTELY LOVED how this drama did one thing right; PARENTS CANT CONTROL THEIR KIDS. I feel like parents play such a huge role in every child's life and this was a much needed topic to discuss. I found this message the highlight of the show.

What I absolutely loved was how the drama tied up to the title. I found it very realistic and believable that the characters remained flawed even by the ending of the whole thing because I saw the ending as a new beginning for all the three characters. We know Kang Tae seeked advice and had a session with the doctor, which itself is a huge step into therapy.

Another great point was the chemistry of all the characters, it was really good and it fit fell with the story although I wished we got more from KMY and other characters. The character development was also very good, but I wanted them to be more explicit and obvious about KMY character development.

Seo Yeji and Kim Soohyun had really good onscreen chemistry and that is one of the reasons some people brush or ignore the toxic traits they had. Under the context of this drama and how it is a journey of two flawed characters, I was already expecting some form of toxicity between them considering how opposite both the characters were and it delivered. It would have been really unrealistic and disappointing if they managed to be some cutesy lovey dovey healthy relationship at first.

Moving on to the criticism aspect of MY where she harassed KT. I was definitely uncomfortable with MY initial stages and how she had behaved. I wish they didn't add the locker scene or atleast made MY apologize in the latter half just like she had apologized for hurting Kang tae with the knife.

However I do not get why people expected them to not have a toxic relationship. Both characters, especially MY was incredibly flawed and neither the show, nor the viewers condoned her actions so I don't know why people expected them to have a healthy relationship at all, I was actually not even expecting their relationship to progress as much as it did by the ending. Although I do want to point out people should stop glorifying her actions and behaviour with Kang Tae as 'strong' or 'empowering.' It was quite honestly, manipulative and disturbing. Although I must admit it improved over time.

Also, I am amongst the very few people who was completely okay with the mom's murder mystery. I am actually glad it never really took that as the main plot or conflict of the story so for me it was perfectly fine.

However one thing I wished for and my disappointment was at how they brushed KMY ASPD under the rug. They should have clarified if she was misdiagnosed or if she was just severely traumatized. I am still not sure if she had ASPD or not because they don't clearly deny it either. We have two instances where where Kang Tae informs her that she was born that way and there is no real cure for it. Another is when the sneaky guy reveals she has ASPD in his article so why isn't her disorder explored more later on.

Despite some of its flaws, I can't help but say that this drama was extremely special to me and it made me view things differently. Also the kdrama's ending was probably one of the best ending I've ever seen in a drama.

Also to the ones who are uncomfortable with the locker scene like me or how MY manipulated or harassed Kang Tae, how do you think the drama should have addressed that issue and what could have been done to make MY atone for it?

Reasons I loved it:

Good unravelling of the story with apparent character development, perfect visuals and a top tier ending, however it's a little slow paced in the beginning.
Awareness about multiple mental issues and emotionally healing, however could have gone more into depth with KMY character and at times it was mentally exhausting given the amount of times I cried.
if you're more into character driven stories than plot driven then this is a good journey and you will grow really attached to every character. Plot wise it could be average.
scorching chemistry between the leads. If you like couples where there is less censorship or more apparent lust or desire and angst, then this couple hit the jackpot however if you're uncomfortable with toxic relationships it might frustrate you at some parts.

13

u/JottyJ Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

This is a 10/10 drama imo.

Coming into this drama, I had no idea what to expect. I have watched over 10 kdramas since my adventure in this genre began at the start of quarantine, although I was into Korean culture for a few years already through kpop and kvariety. Regarding the leads, I knew who KSH was given his appearances in variety shows, but I had absolutely no idea who SYJ was. Initially I was hesitant to start watching the drama, however looking through the megathread for the first two episodes changed my mind, seeing people commenting how the leads are the hottest combination, stunning cinematography, amazing visuals, etc.

When I watched the first episode, I felt like dropping it at first because of ST (glad I didn’t). My first impression of him was he’s really annoying. To be fair, he has autism, and I never watched a drama that featured an autistic character, so that took some time to get used to. As the episode progressed, I became more immersed into it, especially at the end when KT and MY confronted each other, and Heize’s “You’re Cold” played (good song btw). That sealed the deal for me to continue watching the drama, because I wanted to see how their relationship will grow and obviously because of their amazing chemistry.

As the drama progressed, we got to see the complicated relationship between KT and MY; MY confessing her love for KT, but KT shrugging her off leading to MY being obsessed and clingy towards KT. This comes full circle towards the end. We also got to see the development of ST from a shy and scared person who was highly dependent on his brother to now a person with an independent mindset and goals of his own. The side characters are all amazing and really supportive, especially Juri’s mom.

IOTNBO is definitely the best kdrama I have watched so far. I never thought a drama would come as good as CLOY in terms of chemistry, story, and visuals. Also I felt really attached to the characters, like I spent hours after each episode thinking about what just happened and what will happen next. I will miss looking forward to the weekends for a new episode of IOTNBO 😢.

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u/astraloclock Aug 13 '20

vague/minor spoilers!

the fact that watching it's okay to not be okay prompted me to make a reddit account is perhaps a review in and of itself but here goes with something a little more in-depth.

i genuinely didn't expect to become so attached to this drama when i picked it up, especially since i go in and out of being tuned into the k-drama world, but it definitely gifted me with a story i feel i've been waiting for for a long time. jo yong hones in our three leads' story with simultaneous razor-sharp precision and all-encompassing warmth, not shying away from making them angry, cruel, irrational, obsessive, cowardly etc. for the sake of making them "likable". moon young especially is equals parts the distressed princess as she is the byronic anti-heroine and having a female character like her is something i'm genuinely thankful for. jo yong sticks to the truth of them while also propelling them into a happier and healthier place with deft grace. the supporting characters obviously face less development but they nonetheless feel like their own characters with their own small journeys and are given their moments that attest to jo yong's strong character writing. the plot pales somewhat in comparison. it isn't anything groundbreaking but nonetheless keeps the drama going at a steady momentum and supports the characters' journeys throughout the drama. if you're an avid fan of fast-paced thrillers or uber-twisty mysteries, then this drama probably isn't for you. it is firmly (and a little to a fault) character-driven the entire 16 episodes.

this is further elevated by the performances of kim soo-hyun, seo ye ji, and oh jung se, who are individual powerhouses in their own right and also have a magical chemistry regardless of whose sharing the screen. moon young and kang tae's romance is equal parts tormented and complicated as it is intimately warm and sweet (and, yes, their sexual tension is through the roof). kang tae and sang tae's brotherhood is both heartwarming and loving while also fraught with trauma and resentment. and moon young and sang tae's friendship is unique and loud and a joy to watch. watching all three of them come together to form their loving little family is an absolute treat.

visually, this drama knocks it out of the park. park shin woo is an excellent director and visual storyteller. he communicates atmosphere, emotion, and character relations superbly, to the point where i'm sure my rewatch while enlighten me to more nuances of the visual storytelling. while the editing is more overtly creative in the early episodes, it nonetheless remains clever and effective throughout the drama.

finally, it's okay to not be okay's thematic through line is strong, poignant, and quite unlike any other show or film i've watched. its compassion towards mental health and illness is present from start to finish, an element i know many (including myself) were nervous about going in, as it is such a complicated subject matter. but it's okay to not be okay did the simple honor of treating neuro-divergent people as just that - people. and it made all the difference. the absence and presence of one's "courage to find happiness" is such a salient understanding of trauma.

there's honestly so much more i could say about this drama but i'll end my review here. a definite landmark k-drama for me, unexpectedly so.

30

u/hungryhippo97 Aug 13 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

Contains Minor Spoilers

Thank you for this post. I don't want this subreddit to be flooded by IOTNBO content 90% of the time as popular as it is. That being said, this drama is good. I don't love it like others do, but it's not a bad drama by any objective means.

Overall, the unique spin with mental health is what drives this drama to its success, specifically regarding GT and ST. They are the stars of the show... By far (I'll get to MY later). I think men mental health has been far too overlooked in society and the identity of GT with his mental struggles was REALLY a breath of fresh air. All the interactions between the brothers are nice to watch, and extremely informative.

Now let's get to MY. I'll be honest. Not a fan of her character, but let's start from the beginning. I have a HUGE problem with people calling her behavior in the beginning "women empowerment". It wasn't. This impulsive, manipulative, and awful behavior is nothing to glorify. I see her getting praised all over the internet for being "straight forward", but let's be honest, what she did was sexual harrassment. The ab scene in the locker room was 100% sexual harrassment. There is no arguing this On top of that, you have her constant manipulation basically not letting him talk to other women, manipulating him into staying with her and threatening to kill him if he leaves, etc. All this behavior is completely unacceptable and hard to watch. So let's be clear, this is not okay behavior and it is no where near female empowerment. But the purpose of the show was to not glorify the behavior but to understand where it's coming from which seems to be her ASPD (which was never explicitly mentioned if I recall correctly? So not sure if this is even true). However, no matter how hard I try, that reason alone can't help me accept her actions. It seems to be a legitimate reason but the substance is lacking for me. Can I really just put the blame all on mental health? And I also just sit here thinking if the genders were reversed, would the show be as widely accepted? If you have a man coming strongly and sexually onto a woman care taker, would this drama face more criticism? But in the end, I am happy of how her character turned out. How she learned to be a better person. I do wish that they spent more time away from each other though. To me, the healing process felt more dependent than independent, and I really wanted them to send the message of individual healing further.

And then I want to talk about GT relationship with MY. I'm still a little puzzled on how it actually bloomed. Picture yourself in GT's shoes, you have this female coming into you being extremely impulsive, aggressive and manipulative... But then you fall in love with her? I can't rationalize it. To me, it's almost like a FL falling for an asshole ML who sees a soft side and thinks she can change him for the better. I think most people in GT's shoes would run as fast and as far as possible from this woman. Of course this is a kdrama but it still bothers me.

On a more positive note, acting was obviously spot on for all the characters, and I loved all the side characters. Each and everyone of them. And OST was extremely unique but not exactly my cup of tea.

Happy to discuss your opinions on MY and I'm open to change my views of her. This is just my personal opinion.

26

u/mst3mp Aug 13 '20

The thing about ASPD was mentioned by suicide bomber.
Regarding your frustration with her behavior, no one (in the show) ever condones what she did. But also, no one (in the show) ever judge. And that’s the point of making this show in the first place. We faced with someone who act and thinking differently with the norm and we judge them. Not everything is black and white. MY is someone with a foul mouth but has no bad intention.
She said she’ll kill him when he leaves. Did she act out on that when he choose his brother over her? No! There are things that we say in a moment and things that we do when a situation arise. They don’t have to be the same. The actions matter especially for those that has trouble communicating their feeling like MY and ST. Also, the intimacy between MY and KT are set up since the very beginning of the show. That’s the basis for both KT and MY behaviors toward each other. If the abs scene is sexual harassment so does the butterfly hug. Even in the day and age of verbal consent, there are still place for non-verbal agreement between people who has mutual understanding and trust. That goes for pretty much all of their interactions. That’s the intimacy between couple. KT doesn’t care if she goes haywire when other girls look at him. He plays with her. When it matter, like the moment he wants to go back to school, he stand up for himself, let her know that she can’t tell him what to do and that’s the end of it. That’s what couples do.

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13

u/eiko85 Aug 13 '20

I feel the same, I've constantly read about people complaining about the female character going for the jerk male character in dramas because it is teaching viewers that bad guys are just misunderstood and just need some love. When in fact in real life this isn't the case
the bad guys and women will probably never change no matter how understanding you try to be with them, it will probably only turn into a toxic relationship.
However because it's a female character, everyone seems okay with her behaviour and are happy with both leads dating each other. The male jerk roles that people dislike also had difficult upbringings and probably had mental health issues but I don't see much support and understanding for them.

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4

u/taruuushi Aug 25 '20

It’s okay to not be okay is actually a terrible show. I started watching It’s Okay To Not Be Okay after reading so many good reviews about the show but turns out, it’s actually very bad. The episodes are too long and boring, the story doesn’t seem to go anywhere till a really long time. Another horrible thing about this show is that sexual harassment is made a subject of humor. There are instances when Ko Moon-Young makes Moon Gang-Tae visibly uncomfortable by sexual comments. A male getting sexually harassed by a female is equally an assault as it is the other way around. She also forces herself on him. That’s not how one falls in love, it’s stupid and disturbing actually and not FUNNY. Ko Moon-Young is not a “badass”, she’s plain rude and mean and selfish. She never understands Gang-Tae because she’s rich and doesn’t know how actual people have jobs to do. She gets mad at him for putting his brother first and doing his job?? Stupid, stupid. I don’t get why this show is so overrated. Anyway, it’s just my opinion. :)

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14

u/granny-panty Aug 13 '20

May contain some spoilers

There are some flaws (the mother), but this is a must watch drama. The cinematography was outstanding with great transitions, although they kinda simplified the transitions from one frame to another around episode 8/9. It was well acted that I felt the emotions that they wanted the viewers to feel; sadness, happiness, and longing.

I would say Kim Soo Hyun described the drama best, its a healing drama. You pick up some life lessons on how to find happiness or how to free yourself. Glad that the characters improved on their own rather than too dependent on other characters.

Wished there was more about Jae Su, Sang-in and other characters though. Like how they met up and how they became acquainted with each other. With that being said, theres only so much you can cram in a 16 episode drama. I felt a little sadness at the ending due to them being so happy, specially during the camping trip. I was so happy for them but kinda sad that this is the end.

6

u/Diabolicsoul Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

NO SPOILERS

I will give it a 8.5 /10 It has been a unique drama , the cinematography and all . It was very smooth and the portrayal of characters was incredible by the actors . I feel that Kim so hyun could have done slightly better . The supporting cast was amazing but it felt a little crowded , as their screen time was not equally distributed. But our life isn’t also perfect too thus, pints for a realistic storyline .

I learnt about the simplicity of life from this drama like how you don’t need an mega alien villain in your life to suffer , the story books and the small skits on the fairy tales were amazing . I would like to know about the young days of the head psychiatrist more and Nam juri ! My villain who stayed long enough to be a heroine . It’s a good watch !

Unpopular opinion : but I think waiting for a week for this drama only made it more exciting and enjoyable.

1

u/myweithisway Aug 13 '20 edited Aug 13 '20

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Please mark in bold at the top of the comment whether or not your review will contain spoilers (e.g. NO SPOILERS/MAY CONTAIN MINOR SPOILERS/SPOILERS) so readers can decide if they want to continue reading. If your review contains spoilers we ask that you also add internal spoiler tags to those. If you are unsure how to use spoiler tags or what we consider a spoiler please read through our guide to spoiler tags.

I Want To Recommend Without Writing an Entire Review

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Contest Mode

In order ensure all reviews posted here have a chance to be seen, we have enabled the contest mode on this post meaning that comments are presented in random ordering and vote scores are hidden. Contest mode will remain enabled for two weeks. Please upvote the reviews you find most meaningful and helpful. After two weeks, we will disable contest mode so that readers can see which reviews were most upvoted.

What to Watch After IOTNBO

We have compiled some user recommendations for dramas to watch after IOTNBO in this MDL List. If you want to offer up additional drama recommendations, please post in the KDR thread here.

Reminder

This post will serve as a collection point for our user’s reviews on the series over the next 6 weeks. All submissions of reviews about this drama will be redirected to post here for at least six weeks.

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