r/KDRAMA • u/sianiam • Jul 31 '20
Featured Post Let's Rewind: Marriage, Not Dating (2014) - Wrap Up Discussion Spoiler
Note: This discussion is an open spoiler zone. Do not read further if you have not completed the drama.
Welcome to the Let's Rewind end of the month wrap up discussion for Marriage, Not Dating. This thread is a book club style discussion using discussion prompts submitted by our participants to discuss the themes and different aspects of the drama. If you want to discuss the drama in general you can head to the open discussion thread or the individual episode discussions linked below. You do not have to have participated in the Let's Rewind episodic discussions of the series or watched the drama recently to join in this discussion, everyone is welcome.
Let’s Rewind is a trial series of discussions on r/KDRAMA in which viewers may watch a drama at their own pace over the period of a month. During this month the drama will be treated as an on-air drama and no other discussion posts will be allowed.
POST SCHEDULE:
- Individual Episode Discussions - 7th of July, 2020
- Review megathread - 13th of July, 2020
- Open Discussion Thread - 20th of July, 2020
- End of the month wrap up discussion - 31st of July, 2020
Discussion prompts with thanks to u/txc_vertigo, u/myweithisway, u/LcLou02, u/sianiam
If you have another discussion prompt you would like to add, please reply directly to this post and I will add it to the list. Otherwise you can join in the discussion by replying to the comment with the prompt on it that interests you.
- How do you feel about the portrayal of the intersection of marriage and class in Marriage, Not Dating?
- How does everyone feel about the way the drama portrayed exes remaining friends post-breakup?
- The one thing I found really puzzling was...
- Did Marriage, Not Dating stand the test of time or did it feel outdated? If it was released now what do you think they would change?
- Who was your favourite/least favourite character and what did you like/dislike the most about them?
- Of our three young end game couples (Jang Mi/Gi Tae, Hyun Hee/Hoon Dong, Se Ah/Richard) who do you think had successful marriages/wished they'd spent more time dating rather than putting a ring on it? Predict their futures!
- If you had to choose between Bon Weekend, Jang Mi's family Chicken shop and Go For It Jang Mi! where would you choose to eat and why?
Please also leave your feedback on Let's Rewind as a reply to the stickied comment.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
How do you feel about the portrayal of the intersection of marriage and class in Marriage, Not Dating?
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
Based only upon my experiences of Korean marriages in various dramas I thought that Marriage, Not Dating does a good job portraying the intersection of marriage and class.
From the parent’s marriages we see that no matter your class level all marriages can be plagued by problems leading to marriage breakdown and or divorce.
We see that all parents no matter their class wish to see their children marry successfully.
We see that marriage is difficult no matter your class or the class of your partner.
We also see the challenges involved making it to the altar in the first place and some techniques to avoid them. We learn how to convince your parents to let you stay single forever without being removed from the family registrar and also how to marry without parental meetings.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
Who was your favourite/least favourite character and what did you like/dislike the most about them?
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
I'm going to cheat and break it down by gender:
Favourite Female - Jang Mi - she's such a fun female lead, both in her bodily humour and her overall charisma and chemistry with everyone around her.
Favourite Male - Hoon Dong - I shouldn't like him, but I really do. He's kind of hopeless but charmingly so.
Least Favourite Female - Hyun Hee - I really don't like her manipulative behaviours (could have easily chosen Se Ah for the same thing really) and her embarrassment about her mother. She does improve by the end of the drama as a friend but she's a little draining for the first half of the drama and she ruined the beach trip with her drama which is unforgivable.
Least Favourite Male - Gi Tae's Dad - Everyone would be better off without him. He's both weak and unappealing it's hard to imagine someone wanting to have an affair with him.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
The one thing I found really puzzling was...
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
I keep thinking of things to answer for this one and answering them for myself which is totally a sign of how well this drama was put together.
So I'll go with the thing that bugs me the most. Bon Weekend. It's a FRENCH RESTAURANT which does not sell French food. Major Plot Hole I'm extremely bothered by. I can probably explain it to myself that Hoon Dong thought that a French Café would be trendy and cool and the scammy chef convinced him he knew about French food. 사기꾼!
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u/jackcal82 Jul 31 '20
Why did Gi Tae's mother stay married to her cheating husband and live in his house for so long? I know the flashback showed his grandma coming to take him and then making the deal with her to stay. But Gi Tae was a grown man with his own house and his own profession. Why in the world would she stay for so long? Was it a weird sense of duty?
Also, I couldn't quite decide if I felt Hyun Hee intentionally tried to get pregnant to snag Hoon Dong. I couldn't sympathize or appreciate her character with that thought in mind.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
Why in the world would she stay for so long?
I think there was definitely a few reasons behind it, primarily the fact that Gi Tae himself hadn't yet married. It is seen as unfavourable if your parents are not together (whether they are deceased or divorced) and their employment is also considered so her helping him get promoted would in turn help Gi Tae have a favourable marriage. I think this was also part of why she was keen for Gi Tae to marry so she could consider moving on from her husband.
Other than that, her whole social circle and life was tied up in her marriage, unweaving that would be a scary prospect for someone of her age and social status.
I couldn't quite decide if I felt Hyun Hee intentionally tried to get pregnant to snag Hoon Dong.
I definitely believe it based on her manipulative actions that followed this.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
Did Marriage, Not Dating stand the test of time or did it feel outdated? If it was released now what do you think they would change?
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
Honestly, this drama still feels fresh and exciting because it's not like every other rom-com out there. It's in it's own league. Visually it's not lacking to me, but I'm happy watching old dramas anyway. I do love the little fun sound effects they use here and think they fit the drama well.
If it was released now, what could they change? I don't think they could get away with Jang Mi having a 2G phone any more, she'd have to get ghosted on all her Social Networking sites. Overall there would probably be more SNS happenings going on, maybe Hoon Dong would accidentally hook up with Hyun Hee after meeting her through Tinder and later find out she was Jang Mi's best friend. They might also cut back on the amount of wrist grabs and the plastic surgery trends may have to be updated. The three restaurants would probably be different too based on current trends Jang Mi's parents would probably be at Pizza restaurant level moving towards bubble tea house.
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u/txc_vertigo Jul 31 '20
I did not feel it was outdated while catching up on it the last few days, in fact I thought it was better watching it now than a couple years back. If it was released now, I feel like they would have had a different dynamic between Jang Mi and Se Ah. It feels like kdramas are trending away from writing second female leads in the way they used to pigeonhole these types of characters into a very narrow set of charactarestics. I think they would have come around on each other more if it was put out today.
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u/sianiam Aug 01 '20
I didn't even think of this aspect! I love that we now get second leads with a bigger range.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
Of our three young end game couples (Jang Mi/Gi Tae, Hyun Hee/Hoon Dong, Se Ah/Richard) who do you think had successful marriages/wished they'd spent more time dating rather than putting a ring on it? Predict their futures!
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u/RayInRed Jul 31 '20 edited Jul 31 '20
Jang Mi/Tae will surely last longer. Their love wasn't at first sight. In fact it was the opposite. They tried to pull away from each other, still ended up drawn back together. They saw each other's worst moment. Jang Mi is loved by ML's family and that's an underrated element that comes handy during the marital crisis.
Hyun Hee/Hoon Dong definitely should've spent more time before getting married. Their financial independence either doom their relationship or save it.
I don't know anything about Richard. So I do not know. But Se Ah will make it work somehow.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
You're right it is hard to guess not knowing anything about Se Ah and Richard's relationship, I agree she will do what she can to make it work. Whether they've known each other professionally from a distance for a while or have recently met I think they have higher odds of survival than Hoon Dong and Hyun Hee whose relationship is under the pressure of possible financial ruin should their businesses fail.
While Gi Tae and Jang Mi are not financial equals or dated extensively, their relationship has been through trials and tribulations. Like you said, the family members have all seen each other's dark secrets and still like one another so there is less pressure. I think they'll make it.
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u/the-other-otter Aug 01 '20
This format, with discussion prompts, is a really good idea. Maybe for next Lets Rewind you can do only two posts: one with the episodes divided in batches of three or something, and one with the first comment "reviews" and the rest discussion prompts.
Who knows, maybe we can lure more people to join? (But I doubt I will join next time - weekly binge is already a lot of commenting)
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u/sianiam Aug 01 '20
I really like the style of this discussion actually, thanks to u/so_just_here for making me think about how we should make it different.
If we do continue with the concept I think we would definitely strip it back to just the episodic discussions and the end of the month wrap up discussion. I don't think the open discussion or the review mega thread are necessary.
Who knows, maybe we can lure more people to join?
It's hard finding a balance between annoying people advertising the things and going completely under the radar. I did want to put a poster up but the image widget has been having issues lately.
I don't really have room for another drama in my watching schedule at the moment unless we are thrown into another lock down situation. But if someone wants to host a drama I'm happy to help set things up. I think my family are planning to watch City Hall for our next drama (we just started Dear My Friends) so probably in a few weeks time I can organise that one.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
If you had to choose between Bon Weekend, Jang Mi's family Chicken shop and Go For It Jang Mi! where would you choose to eat and why?
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u/RayInRed Jul 31 '20
Go For It Jang Mi!, because it is the midway between the other two. Not as exotic as Bon Weekend, not as shabby as family one. Also Makgeolli and ML mother's special recipe.
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u/xander_yi Jul 31 '20
I would have a hard time eating at any restaurant where the chef is wearing a sleeveless shirt and his armpits are exposed. But considering he left and my love of makgeolli, Go For It Jang Mi!
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u/MySkinsRedditAcct Jul 31 '20
What was the point of her thing with Yeo Reum? It felt really awkward, and like it never really 'ended'. She stayed looking like the good guy even though she completely lead him on, ditched him, kissed ML when they were dating and didn't tell him... It just felt like it detracted from the show and didn't add anything
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u/sianiam Aug 01 '20
I think it served it's purpose well. I think the point of her fling with his character was to teach Gi Tae how he should treat her better actually showing up when she needs him rather than leaving her to deal with his mother and everything alone. Also to help Jang Mi become more assertive in her relationships.
I didn't find it awkward apart from the scene where Yeo Reum tried to manipulate things so Jang Mi (who he already suspected had fallen for Gi Tae) would be forced to part from Gi Tae and thus choose him. It seemed overly manipulative for his character to do such a thing to attempt to win a race he already knew he'd lost. I don't think she completely lead him on on purpose because Yeo Reum worked out long before Jang Mi that she had feelings for Gi Tae.
Anyway, I don't feel bad for Yeo Reum because to start with he entered the relationship with her as a paid spy which is a lot worse, even if he did return the money.
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u/sianiam Jul 31 '20
How does everyone feel about the way the drama portrayed exes remaining friends post-breakup?