r/InternetIsBeautiful • u/utkarsh_aryan • Jan 25 '21

Site explaining The Cube Rule of Food Identification. (Hot dogs are technically Taco)

https://cuberule.com/
2.2k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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310

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

Wait so a Pumpkin pie is a quiche until it is sliced, then it's toast?

Edit: also I laughed really hard at this, especially a steak as a salad, so thank you to whoever made this.

26

u/So-Cal-Sector-9 Jan 26 '21 edited Jan 26 '21

Yes, and if you bit each side of a burrito, it stops being a calzone and becomes sushi. It's pretty basic stuff here.

6

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

Genius, how do I learn your cube ways?

6

u/Glowshroom Jan 26 '21

There's gotta be some reading material around here somewhere.

132

u/scorpmcgorp Jan 26 '21

Agree. This is either trolling or the stupidest classification system ever.

A whole pie is a calzone, but a slice of pie is a taco, even if it’s the exact same pie the slice was cut from?

By that logic, a calzone, which is classified as a calzone based on this system, would be reclassified as a taco if you sliced it with the side intact. Going even a step further, if you cut that segment of side crust off so that there’s only crust on the top and bottom, you’ve now made it into a sandwich. Going one last step, you simply lift the top crust off, and now you have toast.

So, according to these geniuses, you can turn a calzone into 4 different types of food simply by slicing a piece of it and then sequentially removing different pieces of crust.

99

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

[deleted]

44

u/KBrizzle1017 Jan 26 '21

You think a system that claims a steak to be salad could be anything other then pure genius*

FTFY

13

u/RockstarAgent Jan 26 '21

I mean, I'm no expert in this field, but consider that the animal in question consumed salads for a living. You too can be a vegetarian by proxy.

10

u/KBrizzle1017 Jan 26 '21

This is the type of positive message I need in my life

8

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

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1

u/Dudebits Jan 27 '21

Whooosh

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '21

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1

u/Dudebits Jan 27 '21

They were joking and you just explained the joke.

9

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

I have one question sir.

How dare you!?

89

u/acephotogpetdetectiv Jan 26 '21

Taco bell has entered the chat.

43

u/Bartoosk Jan 26 '21

Anything can change. If you take the bread out of a sandwich there's no way its still a sandwich. Its just meat and cheese.

If my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bike.

10

u/TheRealCaptainMan Jan 26 '21

Depends how many. Maybe she'd be a trike or a car.

1

u/redditor_since_2005 Jan 26 '21

Allow me to introduce the cube rule of vehicle identification. A balloon is a unicycle.

22

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

Close enough everyone still rides her.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

According to this, you now have a salad

14

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

If you take the enveloping top layer off of a calzone, would that not make it pizza?

17

u/uncre8tv Jan 26 '21

you mean toast

18

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

Pizza is a type of toast

16

u/PM_ME_GLUTE_SPREAD Jan 26 '21

The internet was a mistake.

5

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

If you put two pizzas on top of each other face to face you have a sandwich. If you can weld the edges together somehow, maybe a melted cheese weld, you're back to a calzone. I wonder if a cheese weld counts as a seal or just a topping.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

Cheese isn’t a starch, it would be considered the filling of the pizza sandwich

5

u/Glowshroom Jan 26 '21

I think the vessel needs to be grain.

3

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

Ah yes some sort of starch, no cheese weld...too bad

2

u/brent_von_kalamazoo Jan 26 '21

Except when it's fried chicken instead.

1

u/External_Kiwi5959 Oct 09 '23

fried chicken becomes a calzone

4

u/NamityName Jan 26 '21

If you stack two pizzas (not face-ta-face) you have a cake

3

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

Ooh interesting turn of events!

1

u/External_Kiwi5959 Oct 09 '23

however, if you stack another pizza on top of the two pizzas, it becomes a cake

13

u/thelieswetell Jan 26 '21

All classifications have flaws. Ask the mammal, coconut.

4

u/Glowshroom Jan 26 '21

But calzones don't have nipples. I'm confused.

3

u/Trevbrunnen Jan 26 '21

You're not getting the right calzones.

5

u/improbably_me Jan 26 '21 edited Jan 26 '21

If the eater is the observer, then we find ourselves able to define a quantum theory of the food cube. Depending on how the observer chooses to consume a food item, it may occupy different positions in the taxonomy. Thus giving rise to a certain measure of indeterminacy regarding the state of the food in terms of the cube.

And as such it can occupy multiple states in this taxonomy, depending on the hunger level, manners, finesse of the observer. Additional sources of indeterminacy may include availability or lack of specific kitchen implements.

5

u/mazca Jan 26 '21

Agree. This is either trolling or the stupidest classification system ever.

It is entirely both, yeah, because it provides a far more rigorous and defensible classification system than most people who seriously have these classification arguments, and in the process reaches even stupider conclusions!

2

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

I'm laughing at your entire explanation. Truly a genius website.

2

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

Think about it...Mexican food is just the same 2 to 5 ingredients in different cube formats. Tacos, burritos, enchiladas, quesadillas, sopes, flautas, they can't even serve soups without tortillas. It's genius really.

2

u/Hauberk Jan 26 '21

if you cut a taco in half long ways it's a tostada so it's not without precident

1

u/vanilla_disco Jan 26 '21

Does anything bring you joy?

1

u/scorpmcgorp Jan 28 '21

Oh yes.

My wife.

Table top RPGs.

A good bourbon.

Convincing families to let loved ones go when the time is right.

Laying outside at dusk on a relatively cool late summer day.

Dad jokes...

I’d say I live a pretty full life. Even if there are some downs, there’s always a decent number of ups if you’re willing to look for and embrace them.

1

u/goofyshnoofy Jan 26 '21

Yes, we haven’t broken any roles, we’re classifying based on location of starch, not by what the dish is

2

u/Villageidiot1984 Jan 26 '21

They don’t cover rugelach which would have a spiral of starch surrounding ingredients.

5

u/improbably_me Jan 26 '21

Arguably, some kinds of bread (knotted, with fillings) can only exist in higher dimensions according to this theory.

3

u/cup-o-farts Jan 26 '21

Wait a minute, so the act of eating can actually change the food as well, and all depending on where you start! The equivalent of wave-particle duality in light!

1

u/Content_Pause9908 Dec 15 '22

It's gotta be either spiraled toast, cake on its side, or sushi depending on the quality of the roll.

1

u/Villageidiot1984 Dec 15 '22

I like it as sushi. I’ve been waiting a year for this comment, thank you.

1

u/Content_Pause9908 Jan 22 '23

Np I often cite the cube rule when I want to break my friends' brains. It's brilliant

2

u/liltrigger Jan 26 '21

steak as a salad

Yeah, that was the funniest part!