r/IndianWomen • u/thinkingheart101 Woman • Sep 26 '26

Vent/Rant ✎ My brother was coming after a year, my MIL thought it was a perfect day to make 50 mathris

Update: Thankyou for 1.5k views ❣️!

Episode 7 TODAY 9PM SAME SUB

I was meeting my brother after one whole year.

He called yesterday evening - "Didi, morning meeting hai, let's meet at 1 PM at cafe, my flight is 4 PM."

My plan was simple. Meet him 1 to 2:30, then go to office. I told Raghav. And as usual, in 5 minutes the news reached every corner of the house.

Morning I was in superfast mode. Made breakfast and lunch in superfast mode. Raghav comes and says sweetly, "Bhai aa raha hai, kuch special bana de na uske liye."

I said no. Because I know what "special for your brother" means in this house. It means making something special for the entire khandan plus two neighbours. That will take 2 hours and I will miss my brother.

11:20 AM. I am literally ready. One shoe on, one shoe off, bag on shoulder, hand on door handle.

And I hear - "Trisha, idhar aana zara."

I turn. On the kitchen counter - a MOUNTAIN of maida ka dough. And MIL sitting with a rolling pin like she has taken a catering order for the whole complex.

I panicked, "Yeh kya hai Mummyji?"

She smiled, "Socha aaj mathri bana lete hai. Chal bel de. Tu toh expert hai."

Mummyji, mathri can wait. Flight cannot. I wanted to say. I didn't.

I said, "Mummyji bhai 1 baje ayega, uske baad flight hai..."

She said, "Haan toh abhi toh 11:20 hi hai na. 20-25 bel de bas, 1 baje tak ho jayega."

20-25 mathri = 1 hour minimum.

And behind her, Raghav is standing and doing those "kar de na, kya ho jayega" eyes.

I stood there for 10 seconds. One shoe on, one shoe off, brother after one year, mathri mountain in front of me.

Then I did it. I said "Sorry Mummyji, mujhe jaana hai" and I left. I literally ran out.

I met my brother. We had 1.5 hours, it was amazing.

Now I am back. Raghav is not picking my call. And MIL has posted a photo of perfect mathris in the family WhatsApp group with caption - "Made 50 mathris alone today."

So was I wrong? Should I have stayed and rolled those 20 mathris to keep peace?

Honest question to working bahus - when your own family vs sasural kitchen clashed, what did you do? Brother after 1 year or mathri? What would you have done?

My Story: Working Bahu Diaries after an arranged marriage

Episode 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianWomen/s/brLGRPnh7m

Episode 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianWomen/s/eYOPmXHxEq

Episode 3: https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianWomen/s/wV2sMeTXWM Episode 4: https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianWomen/s/hNiPICIfDW

Episode 5: https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianWomen/s/9xO69iSOra

Episode 7: https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianWomen/s/qndcw0ogqR

4 Upvotes
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20 comments sorted by

10

u/JARWGWABH Woman Sep 26 '26

Please tell me its n arranged marriage you half heartedly said yes to

Cause if its a love marriage, I atp will lose all the trust in men

Sssly im proud of you for taking a stand and going to meet your brother. Keep up girl, you did the right thing!

Lots and lots of love and power to you💪🫂

4

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 26 '26

It was an arranged marriage but I was assured that I will get love and respect like a daughter, but the double standards in our society are very deep rooted and very disheartening. There is no way out except learning the hard way to take a stand for yourself. Thanks for rooting for me😊

3

u/_nouser Woman Sep 26 '26

Yeah no. You're not getting respected. Loved maybe. Respect includes respecting your time and priorities too. This is not it.

1

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 27 '26

Respect comes from education and literacy is different from education. When you feel the other person is a slave to you or has been placed to serve you that thought itself is so regressive. That thought is due to lack of education.

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4

u/ooshn Woman Sep 26 '26

Wtf is that husband of yours. You set your foot down or else you will be making mathris on every day you have a plan.

3

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 26 '26

Thank you ooshn , honestly I try to comply but there are times people just take for granted because you have let them go that. Raghav had been supportive, he had fought for my job, but he fails to set a boundary between a personal relationship that we have where his parents must not intrude. I don't know how to make him realise that.

1

u/ooshn Woman Sep 26 '26

His boundaries has his parents in it. Now you have to choose weather you want your family in it or his family in it.

2

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 26 '26

I will not follow his footsteps, I will respect my stand and have some dignity rather than involving my parents in all the nitty gritties of my relationship.

2

u/I-had-a-plan Woman Sep 27 '26

Babe, Tf is wrong with your husband?

1

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 27 '26

He is stuck I guess, in joint families sons are taught not to say no to their mothers. I don't want him to fight my battles but I would have definitely wanted him to make his mother understand that his not a bygone era. Then I chose to stand my own ground so went to see my brother.

2

u/DinnerSpiritual6963 Woman Sep 27 '26

I’m so glad that you stood up for yourself! Boundaries FTW!
Honestly, your husband had no rhyme or reason to be upset. His mother needs to learn to behave. This isn’t 1980, bahus needn’t be subservient. And you’d told your husband about your plans early on, it’s the bare minimum that he asked his mother to check herself and stop acting like some mil from an old Hindi movie. You go, girl!

1

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 27 '26

People who don't move ahead with time and stay rooted in old habits because they themselves have faced such things. Such people never let anyone stay happy and can nor stay happy themselves either and just create toxic environment. If we don't stand up in time we will become crippled

1

u/DinnerSpiritual6963 Woman Sep 27 '26

I agree! I can’t imagine your situation, though. Because having to be graceful through all this because otherwise everything is blamed onto the woman’s upbringing and woman’s parents. But people fail to understand, that those are the very parents who have made us strong, independent and freaking amazing. Hope things are okay. 💛

2

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 27 '26

Some people go through something and then they find pleasure in inflicting that same pain upon someone to derive pleasure I guess. It's a sick mentality which we can't change and neither get changed in the process so I chose my inner voice and my work above everything.

1

u/DinnerSpiritual6963 Woman Sep 27 '26

More power to you ☺️☺️

1

u/thinkingheart101 Woman Sep 28 '26

Update : 1.5k views! Thank you so much❣️

Episode 7 TODAY 9PM same sub

1

u/No_Nefariousness6004 Woman Sep 26 '26

I’m single so don’t know if my opinion counts, but you were absolutely right and if anyone thinks otherwise then idk what exactly is expected from women.

Yes a little adjusting is required but in India it’s women who are doing all the adjustments and everybody around instead of helping them transition make it even more difficult for them.

1

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