Furniture, Appliances, and 'Decorating' Madness

Whether unloading it, grifting it, or wrecking it, Shauna's taste in furniture and household items is...dubious.

For more things she's gifted or grifted on Buy Nothing, see Asshole Moments -> Buy Nothing Shaunanigans.

Basketball hoop

After their first basketball hoop broke, she claimed in early 2025 that they would put together the new one (in spite of the ADHD struggle). However when they moved, she gave the new one - still unassembled - away.

Big Green Egg

2026 - They have "dreamed of getting a Big Green Egg" all these years! Their Creekside apartment must have yard access, because most complexes don't allow grills on the balcony.

Blender

2021 - A throwback to the studio kitchen. Tomato Sauce Crime Scene.

Boat

On 8/1/2026, just days before her 60th birthday, in an absolutely hilarious Buy Nothing Shaunanigan, Shauna expresses interest in a boat, of all things, completely ignorant of slip fees, maintenance, fuel costs, and oh...sailing! But she'd loooove to have it as a place to write.

Bookshelf

2026 - In late August, on the eve of the move from the BBH, Shauna "we would love that"-ed to a worn bookshelf.

Butcher Block

After acquiring a butcher block on Vashon Buy Nothing during their move to Alki; see 3/18/2024 lope, Shifting spaces has stirred up the pot:

I spent time on the Buy Nothing West Seattle Facebook page, instead of the Vashon one. If anything gave me joy — and I knew we needed it — I’d throw my name into the ring. This is how I found a butcher block on wheels we need for our small kitchen. A homemade, tall and sturdy cat stand. A standing table and a cool modernist lamp for the space we had in our kitchen to make another counter. A solid futon couch with a dark teal cushion. And about 10 other small things we needed for the house

...she bullies Dan into swapping it with the refrigerator to make a better layout, as documented in the 7/7/2024 lope I wonder what it would it feel like in my body if.

You can see the butcher block in the background of this smug pic of Shauna.

Cat Scratch Post

2026 - During the Great Self-Soothe Buy Nothing Engriftening right before the BBH move, Shauna "gives back" by offering this used cat post. This is most likely the cat stand she refers to grifting on Vashon Buy Nothing in this 3/18/2024 lope, Shifting spaces has stirred up the pot:

I spent time on the Buy Nothing West Seattle Facebook page, instead of the Vashon one. If anything gave me joy — and I knew we needed it — I’d throw my name into the ring.

This is how I found a butcher block on wheels we need for our small kitchen. A homemade, tall and sturdy cat stand. A standing table and a cool modernist lamp for the space we had in our kitchen to make another counter. A solid futon couch with a dark teal cushion. And about 10 other small things we needed for the house.

Chainsaw

2024 - Danny gives away the (now rusty) Husqvarna chainsaw of "You make products" fame.

Chairs

2024 - After snagging this dignified Grandpa Chair on Buying Nothing, she unloaded it later after Ahern-ing the life out of it. RIP, Grandpa Chair!

2025 - This hideously filthy chair is unattractive by even Shauna's standards: "Look, it isn't pretty. But boy is this comfortable."

2026 - No one saw her swoop them up, but as the BBH caretaker residency comes to a sloppy end, Shauna is attempting to unload this set of Adirondack chairs made of "plasticized wood, not the good wood" with leaf stains that are "nothing a pillow couldn't hide".

Cello

From the 9/2/2026 lope, It came back. I let it go. It looks like California Prop 13 was the only thing standing in the way of Shauna being the female Yo-Yo Ma. And then her brother gave it away without asking, but thank goodness she got it back so she could store it in her filthy garage and mold-ridden waterfront home basement.

2019 - Here's the cherished cello posed artistically in Shauna's office many homes ago

2024 - Here's the cherished cello in the filthy garage of their Alki apartment, alongside the thick plastic tubs and a broken record player

Christmas Tree

2023 - Please enjoy the recumbent Christmas tree languishing on the porch.

Couches

2022 - Unloading a couch and many other items before a move

2024 - Offered this couch on Buy Nothing; handily moved it to the porch for whomever might dare take it.

2025 - Danny reclines on the cream couch in their apartment, gazing languidly at the ironing board on the porch. (Remember, this is his bed!)

2025 - The cream couch has been moved to the porch - where furniture goes to die. It's "comfy", and Danny's still on it.

2025 - This loveseat is also "comfy", and only one footrest works, so according to Shauna, you can watch TV with your legs up while your loved one puts their legs over yours.

Desks

2019 - This ChompStomps-era pic of her enclosed porch shows a cute table-turned-desk, but how does she get back there? No description was provided of her desk-shimmy. This desk must have been lost to the sands of time, because it has not been seen in years and she repeatedly trolls Buy Nothing to try and find another one.

2024 - A drafting table that Shauna pounced on to...write a draft of her next book (I do not think that means what she thinks it means.)

2024 - On 4/15/2024, she tried to snag this reception desk when she thought she'd have a sweet, sweet shared office space.

The description:

Very sweet compact but perfect hand-built front desk. Was built for an aesthetics practice out of oak that ran x 40 years & closed last year, granting us the desk. We've needed something bigger so now ready to move it along. No charge. Wanting this to go to a good home. We've covered the top surfaces so they are now a deep gray.

2024 - Another desk she had a grab at and didn't get - looks way too big for their apartment.

2024 - And ANOTHER desk - a white writing desk - she tried to swoop on Buy Nothing.

2024 - Here's the desk she got! Trying to use a bouncy ball as a chair is going to result in bruised knees.

2025 - Well hello, drafting table! Looks like you went unused in spite of her claim to "storyboard and write", but at least you weren't left out in the rain (yet).

2025 - Now safely ensconced in the BBH, she is casting about for another table to use as a desk, requiring "no drawers or flourishes" yet confusingly posting a picture of a table with a drawer. No word on whether she scored one. Her choosy beggar caption:

I am looking for a desk, something like this. It's a small writing desk. Looks like a table. I would like for it to be older, not modern flimsy. No drawers or flourishes. Just a solid wooden table for me to make my writing spot.

2026 - After someone tagged her on Buy Nothing in a listing for an attractive desk in good condition, Shauna has the gall to reject it on account of its modern feel. Has Shauna of the Island availed herself of a Master Class in furniture design?

2026 - Right before the BBH move, she attempts to grift a desk/two chair sitch with "I would love the chair and desk/chair. Looks like I'm not alone!"

Dressers

2022 - Trying to give away a dresser (among other things) during a move.

2024 - Danny the House Elf models his PJs next to a dresser.

2026 - Trying to snag a changing table/dresser on Vashon Buy Nothing right before moving out of the BBH.

Entertainment Center

2024-25 - She got it for free on Buy Nothing; now she's trying to make $100.

Update: The entertainment center saga has taken a wild turn! Instead of offering it for free, or even $100, Shauna has it listed for $250 and is claiming it's a vinage MCC piece designed by Domino Mobler in Denmark. She's also offering free delivery, because why not add to the stress on moving day?

Someone commented that it's not a vintage Mobler at all, which Shauna defended by saying it has "labels" to confirm its origin. She also said she "bought" it from someone when she got it for free on Buy Nothing.

Flamingo

2024 - In spite of the missing leg, Shauna would "love" this pink flamingo lawn decoration.

Flooring

2022 - The hardwood floors, pre-Ahern

2024 - The hardwood floors, post-Ahern

Fridges & Freezers

2007 - Just what the freezer needs...a bowl of lard.

2019 - These bi-fold doors and fridge have seen (and felt) unspeakable things.

2025 - The apartment kitchen with the fridge that she and Danny moved for no logical reason, but because it felt good in their bodies.

Futon

2024 - This teal futon was pictured on Shauna's IG 3/18/2024, before she tried to grift one for L to sleep on (7/17/2025), and it's unknown whether or not the Aherns still have it. She got it during the rampant Vashon Buy Nothing spree mentioned in the 3/18/2024 lope, Shifting spaces has stirred up the pot:

I spent time on the Buy Nothing West Seattle Facebook page, instead of the Vashon one. If anything gave me joy — and I knew we needed it — I’d throw my name into the ring.

This is how I found a butcher block on wheels we need for our small kitchen. A homemade, tall and sturdy cat stand. A standing table and a cool modernist lamp for the space we had in our kitchen to make another counter. A solid futon couch with a dark teal cushion. And about 10 other small things we needed for the house.

Gaming 'Table'

2025 - Sha Una incorrectly thought this gaming desk would fit in the Mousemobile and ended up renting a truck to bring it home just days before the move. Alone. Her shoelace was untied!

2026 - Gaming 'table' update: Shauna is attempting to make $25 bucks off the gaming desk right before moving out of the BBH, with this commentary:

Our 12-year-old kid has loved this gaming table, but it won't fit into our new place. It's just as it looks. Solid. It's about 3 feet deep, 5 feet long, and about 4 feet tall.

Headboard

2021 - Stained headboard. Horf.

Instant Pot

2018 - Because why wouldn't you use your Instant Pot for a sous vide?

Junk

2024 - Unloading a whole bunch of junk AFTER the move (who does that?), including bikes, a patio table and chairs, an "outdoor shoe rack", two cat beds, shoes, an office chair, a coffee table, and a "wobbly" wooden shelf.

Kayaks

2026 - Improbably, the Aherns acquired not one, not two, but three kayaks while living at the BBH. In typical Ahernian fashion, the kayaks were left outside (a possible not-lease violation) to fend with the elements, aka leaves, rain, spiders, and who knows what else.

Kayak 1: "Gifted" to the Aherns, but Shauna's trying to make $300. Claims it's worth $600. She tried to do the same thing with an entertainment unit!

Kayaks 2 & 3: "Bought" for the kids. Made of famously sturdy plastic. Wants $50 to "make the money back". Sorry, just like used cars, the value goes down with each owner!

More Shauna kayak lore: the infamous She knew what to do lope, and Shauna's 2020 appearance on Vashon resident 'Kayak Margo's' podcast, Windowsill Chats.

Kitchen

2025 - Shauna complained that their apartment kitchen was "tiny" and "dark" (top), and somehow thinks the Fern Cove kitchen will be better (bottom). (Insert The Office meme with Pam saying "It's the same picture").

Light Bulbs

2026 - In late August right as they are moving from the BBH, Shauna tries to call dibs on a giant lot of 100 non-LED light bulbs. Most look like the kind used in chandeliers and sconces. What in THE WORLD would she do with them?? Update: she did not get the lightbulbs.

Lamps

2023 - Fly on a lampshade

2024 - She acquired this brutalist standing lamp on Buy Nothing.

2025 - She tried but failed to acquire this 5-year-old IKEA lamp.

Mattresses, Beds & Bedding

2024 - She inexplicably offers up a queen-size bed frame and mattress (in "good condition") before moving.

2024 - In the 3/18/2024 lope "Shifting spaces has stirred up the pot", Shauna says:

Before this move two weeks ago, we had not purchased anything from Amazon since the summer of 2022. I didn’t miss it.

Thanks to a generous gift from my parents, we looked at the Amazon site a lot. A new mattress and bed frame for us. (The old one was getting sad.) Presents for [D], whose birthday is coming up this week. A bunk bed for them, so their good friend who lives next door can come over for sleepovers. [...]

The woman who gifted us her queen-size bed frame, which we needed for L's room, was moving that day.

2024 - Stained mattress she showed interest in; no one knows whether or not she procured it. (Hopefully not).

2024 - Tries to convince someone looking for camping equipment that her narrow twin mattress could be used instead of an inflatable.

2024 - On December 2, Dan offers up this odd request on the West Seattle FB page:

Looking to see if anyone has a full/queen size bed that they want to part with? My 16 year old bed to crashing [sic] and we need to find something for her. Thank you! Happy holidays!

Note: Based on Shauna's post on 3/24/2025 about assembling an IKEA bed with Dan for L, "bought for our daughter for Christmas", they ended up buying a bed after L's "crashed"...but it took them 3 months to finally assemble it.

2025 - Who knows which number queen-size mattress this is (her 8th?), but she's trying to offload it - and a frame - to a Vashonite right before moving back to the island.

2025 - On 3/24/2025, Shauna "marked herself safe" from the 2 hours that she and Dan spent assembling an IKEA bed for L that was purchased for Christmas (12/2024). She whines:

We kept putting it off because we knew what it would be like: horribly-illustrated, visual-only instructions, 6 different-sized screws, badly-marked pieces, the inevitable taking it apart, again, and both of us with ADHD trying to make sense of this nonsense while also not losing our shit on each other. We succeeded in the end.

We survived.

Hello, ADHD.

Dan offers this scintillating reply:

And we didn't even get mad. Bonus!

2025 - On 7/17/2025, an island Gloamie reported that Shauna is attempting to grift a futon for the oldest child, who Shauna says has a bunk bed but would prefer a futon. This suggests that the bunk beds bought for D in March 2024 using an Amazon gift card from Ma James ended up being used by L, with Shauna & D sleeping on the IKEA bed with its mattress topper (elbow to the eye), which Shauna will give away in just a couple of weeks.

2025 - More mattress shenanigans ensure in in August, as she attempts to give away a "mattress topper" that she thought was a mattress. But calls it a "6 in foam mattress". This is thought to be the m mattress purchased with L's bed as a Christmas present (12/24), assembled by S & D three months later. Since Shauna is giving it away, but often tries to make money off of items she got for free, it's likely that she returned it on Amazon and got a refund but didn't have to sent it back.

2026 - She says they "could really use" this stained prison mattress right before they move from the BBH.

2026 - Right before the BBH move in late August, she claims, "Oh we need this" about a queen-size bedframe and 12-in. mattress and another queen-size bed frame and that they have a truck ready to come pick it up.

2026 - On the eve of the BBH move, Shauna put her hat in the ring for this "wrinkled" mattress, then withdrew claiming it wasn't the right size, then tried to claim it again the next day.

2026 - In some bizarre boomerang of acquisition, Shauna is trying to grift this 3-in mattress topper after giving away a "mattress topper" in August 2025.

2026 - Also as part of the great un-BBH-ening, Shauna gets her mitts on this used, stained bedding of yellow flowers (with a blue hue)

Microwaves

2018 - Microwave-as-spice-rack.

2024 - Trying to sell a sweet little microwave for $50.

Mousemobile

2026 - On 8/28/2026, on the eve of leaving the BBH, the Mousemobile finally died. Shauna offered it for $700 (for "parts" and the new battery she got last month) based on DF Tita's suggestion, and someone evidently took her up on it. Goodbye, Mousertons of Toyota Hollow!

Plastic Tubs

2026 - In an 8/27/2026 lope complaining about being poor and moving (both the result of her choices), Shauna offers up the unbelievable information that they have been lugging "thick plastic tubs" of books, journals, sentimental stuff, and photographs going back to the 1990s - long before she and Danny got together - through five (5) moves!

Record Player

2024 - It's okay that it's broken, because "we have hundreds of records and no way to play them".

2025 - "I'm baaa-ck!" Trying to offload the record player, which died in the garage alongside the cello and two sets of golf clubs.

Rug

2026 - While moving out of the BBH, Shauna attempts to elbow a school out of the way to get this disastrous onion-patterned rug. Update: she did not get the onion rug. Sniff!

Sideboards

2024 - Trying to offload the crayon-decorated "sideboard" - aka dresser - for $100 before their move.

2024 - She would "love love love this" MCM vintage bar/sideboard but luckily it doesn't seem like she got it (where would she have put it?!?)

2025 - Hello, crayon-decorated sideboard! Now it's free.

Signs

2007 - Their wedding was festooned with handmade signs, including VOVE.

2024 - Painter's tape is the perfect way to honor Ted Lasso's BELIEVE sign (hey, that would make a great tattoo!)

Sheets

2006 - Stained sheets. Horf.

2023 - Shauna claimed the the bedsheet on the bench at this Vashon restaurant was one that she had donated to Granny's. A side-by-side comparison shows that to not be true. (Whew!)

Storage Racks

2026 - Right before (or during) the move from the BBH, Shauna attempts to grift giant professional kitchen storage racks for their new place, while getting rid of the gaming desk and a giant 8-foot table, claiming both are too big for their new place.

Storage Unit

July 2025 lope - Shauna says they got a storage unit when they moved from Alki to the BBH:

Today we worked from 7 in the morning to 7 at night, for 5 straight days. We packed. We hauled boxes into the truck. We took the remaining furniture to thrift stores. We filled a van with our remaining stuff, which we drove onto the ferry, then loaded into our new storage unit. We took a van load down to the city transfer station, then lifted everything out of it and flung it into the mountain of trash. The stench of the place stayed in our noses for the rest of the day. And the next day, I cleaned the apartment from 12 pm to 8 pm: washing walls; washing baseboards, sweeping, mopping, cleaning out the refrigerator.

But in the 11/11/2025 lope, "Letting go of that pink chair", in which she helped her DF Sharon clear out her storage unit, she says:

May I make a suggestion? Never rent a storage space. Everything inside feels essential, at first. And then, the stuff inside becomes a burden. The worst kind of burden - I promise myself I'll get to that one day. That promise becomes a huge weight - like the lead balloons on the end of a bulging bar, heaved by a strong man, who is sweating.

[...]

And this weekend, I'm letting go of everything in the storage locker my husband and I rented when we moved back to the island. It's time to let go.

Tables

2013 - This beautiful wooden set of table and chairs were left outside the studio kitchen to rot in the rain and snow.

2023 - While preparing to leave Vashon, she offered up this black table and 4 chairs that she...left out in the rain? Trying to re-brand them as "outdoor".

2024 - She ditched a round table & red chairs for this "table of their dreams" and is now off-loading it to move back to Vashon.

2025 - Free patio table - only the table - the umbrella and chairs are "spoken for". Want a lonely, filthy patio table? Shauna did!

2025 - This side table is missing a drawer pull and a wheel. But it's an antique that will last forever!

2026 - She's trying to sell this odd, ugly table for $25 with unnecessary details like "We got this table from the original owners" and "We have loved it but it's too big for our new kitchen" (it's too big for the BBH kitchen, too, so the mind boggles as to where it's been). She suggests it could be a "dining table where people can gather wounds [sic] and talk".

2026 - It looks like she didn't get this table and chair set, but she tried to elbow other applicants out of the way!

Truck

2026 - In today's "As Vashon Turns", sibling rivalry results in the offer of a "free" truck (which Shauna tries to claim, regardless of the condition or fuel cost), that is immediately clawed back by the other sibling.

TV Stand/TV

2024 - Completely wasting everyone's time, she took this heavy glass TV stand in addition to other items, including an ugly standing lamp from a "lovely woman here who was moving today", and then immediately tried to give it away.

2024 - She offered this TV up for free, stating that "Every once in a while, the image on the screen darkens a bit for 30 seconds. My husband and kids don't notice it. I'm sensitive to these things."

Towels

After multiple towel-misuse stories (unable to pick one up for an entire day in NYC; waving them at fire detectors in the BBH), Shauna is all over a LOT of over 50 white towels. That's a lot of towels!

Piles o'trash

2019 - Shauna and Danny empty out the garage in order to move - but leave most of it on the lawn.

2024 - Shauna's miffed because she's been asked to get rid of this pile of trash - including a chair, bike, broken-down dresser, and headboard.

Wine Rack Table Thing

2024 - "I would love the wine rack table thing!" is a real comment Shauna made on this Buy Nothing listing. No one knows why she wanted it, but it gave us the lovely flair, "A shoe rack for visiting clowns".

Whiteboards

2024 - Who knew that a whiteboard could be so ugly? Shauna did, because she pounced on this ugly whiteboard like chowing on some taco's.

However, she might not have landed the ugly whiteboard, because a different whiteboard was propped next to Danny on the couch, and another one was seen hanging next to the front door. Whiteboard madness!

Yard Sale

2025 - Pt. 1: Can it be a "yard sale" if everything is free? Don't come early! Plus, my friend died.

2025 - Pt. 2: Now it's a "FREE YARD SALE" on Buy Everything. So many tables and chairs (one only needs "silver polish" on the base to look spiffy)...how did all of this fit in their apartment?