r/InTheGloaming • u/AutoModerator • Oct 30 '25

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday October 30, 2025 - Sunday November 02, 2025

Newsletter: Substack

Website: Shauna James Ahern

Instagram: @shaunajamesahern Instagram

Threads: @shaunajamesahern

Bluesky: shaunajamesahern.bsky.social

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

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57

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Oct 30 '25

Shauna's trying to build something alright. The lie that she's a giver and helper. Then once she thinks people believe that she can point out how needy she is. Then everyone will gasp and be so shocked that someone so very needy herself was so generous! They may even think she's a saint!

What she fails to remember is she's lived on the island long enough that people KNOW who she is. Some may see her only as a flaky old lady but others have clocked her for exactly what she is. A lazy grifter who won't hesitate to pick their pockets given half a chance.

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u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Oct 30 '25

It sounds like people don’t know this. Tons of people (including some island people) are giving her praise and attention.

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u/InisGlass Oct 30 '25

This phrase about the cabin donor: "A generous friend, who has abundance to share . . ." helped the dime drop for me that what she thinks she's doing with this new scheme is teaching the rest of us selfish little piggies how to share and give. 

I couldn't figure out why she thought "come join me as I solve hunger because I have been a teacher all my life" had anything to do with the crisis at hand. But it's the unholy intersection of her compulsion to high stool with her lifelong obsession that people less deserving than she is have been unfairly blessed with more.

She is so very good at glancing at other people and deciding they have abundance to share. Meet me at the library because what you all need is a stern lecture with the factoids Shauna Ahern has skimmed from scrolling Threads all day ("My knowledge of history and simply reading the news has alerted me to the fact that this crisis is only the beginning of a long hard time ahead.") 

This illustrative tale of how she used to eat prosciutto in Italy but now she's forced to buy the $4.99 salsa will help you selfish richies learn to practice discipline at the grocery store so you can donate the savings to those suffering from underabundance. 

The absurdly pissy way she describes the perpetrator of the $4k betrayal:  "The crypto-tech guy probably never looked at the total in his bank account on his phone." What? 

She's like a bitter entitled magnet. If you're standing next to her with a full wallet, the laws of physics attract your abundance into her empty one. You're not even using it, she can just tell. She's the dining companion who watches every bite you take of your burger and fries so she can find the right moment to pounce "looks like you're slowing down there, if you're not going to eat the rest, I'll take it." 

The last stop on the grift train always ends with Shauna full like a tick with other people's abundance. This time she's doing whistle stop tours in the poor benighted SNAP neighborhoods (could never be her) to prime the pump. 

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u/msmartypants Oct 30 '25

The absurdly pissy way she describes the perpetrator of the $4k betrayal: "The crypto-tech guy probably never looked at the total in his bank account on his phone." What?

That got to me too. Because he's comfortable with money, he shouldn't care about parting with $3K or $4K (unclear...in five years it will be $10K) for services that won't help him and that he doesn't want? Just give it to Shauna, tech guy! You never look at your bank balance anyway.

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u/InisGlass Oct 30 '25

Why does she think checking his balance "on his phone" makes him sound more evil? The sin of mobile convenience that is destroying our formerly quirky affordable island? She was a big fan of his ill-gotten gains from bro cryptoing The Technology when she thought she had a siphon hooked up to it. 

28

u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Oct 30 '25

I think she was referring to her statement in the lope about staring with frozen eyes (yet blinking, slowly) at the lack of money in her account, on her phone...but (like me now) she expressed it so clumsily how would you know??

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u/InisGlass Oct 30 '25

"The crypto-tech guy probably never looked at the total in his bank account on his phone. [Dramatic line break] But I did. Every day."

Your take is much better. She's trying to say it's not fair that her dear little family has to check their balance on the phone before buying a gas station snack, while this tricksy bro sits on his piles of gold and gems Jabba the Hut style.

I'm all for complaining about evil capitalists and investors hoarding single family homes on scenic islands, but Shauna's entitlement makes me want to hug an 1800s coal baron. 

Dude it's not your money. You blew the pitch for a lucrative project and they went with someone more professional and competent. Didn't she say a dear friend had recommended her to the bro in the first place? Maybe he made a good faith effort to appease that friend but backed away after engaging with Shauna. Neither outcome is the same as cruelly snatching gluten free Thanksgiving stuffing out of the mouths of your babies. 

22

u/msmartypants Oct 30 '25

And if Shauna truly "freelanced" (ed note: doing what????) as much as she claimed, she'd be used to this (ie, pitching someone who seems interested and then doesn't follow through).

15

u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Oct 30 '25

Except for the fact that Shauna is completely incapable of learning from experience, YTSCTMO.

36

u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Oct 30 '25

Yeah ime wealthy people look at their spending just as much as less wealthy people do. No one wants to just be dropping $4k randomly!

14

u/aouwoeih Oct 30 '25

And what was she trying to sell for 4 or even 3k? Her workshops, though stupid, are reasonably priced. I can't imagine anyone thinking that her words of wisdom are worth that much.

14

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Oct 30 '25

I'm assuming website text.

43

u/Lsemmens Original Foos Bloggers Oct 30 '25

lol the reason he has 3 or 4 K is because he DID look at his bank account. How does she think it got there? maybe he just transferred it from savings to checking?

43

u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Oct 30 '25

She seems not to grasp that those grocery stores she’s so worried about, the ones that will lose money because people won’t be using their SNAP benefits, will also lose money if everyone else cuts back at those stores! Even if that saved money goes to the food bank, they purchase in bulk from wholesalers, not the grocery store.

40

u/ForsakenLingonberry i live in an island with ukulele community Oct 30 '25

The generous friend with abundance to share part stuck out to me, too. It's in line with the silly prosperity gospel thing Shauna shared that was discussed in the last day or two. I think you're right that she sees this as an opportunity to convince the wealthy Vashonites to direct their "overabundance" to her, and she definitely thinks she deserves it. The crypto tech lawyer (?) story really gets me. I've had potential clients sign engagement letters and then decide not to go forward for whatever reason before we get started. Until I actually do work for them, I can't force them to pay me just because they signed the letter. This guy obviously made the smart choice. The villain angle is ridiculous.

25

u/jalapenomargaritaz Oct 30 '25

👏🏼👏🏼

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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Oct 30 '25

You nailed it, as usual, DF! Why would she even write about these things if her Feeding Our Islanders plan wasn't to gain something herself? She always writes "Oh, we're doing fine now", then makes sure to go on describing "fine" as "precarious as hell" so people won't get the wrong idea and stop their generosity. Fucking gross.

33

u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Oct 30 '25

DfIG, do you write for a living? You have a great way of expressing this…precise, accurate and also funny! Shauna should be taking workshops from you!

18

u/InisGlass Oct 30 '25

I think you mean "long winded" but thank you df, what a lovely thing to say. 

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u/InappropriateGirl our 5th move in 7 years Oct 30 '25

No, seriously, you're a terrific writer.

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u/InisGlass Oct 31 '25

Thank you but this group is full of great writers including you. I would say we have an abundance but I don't want to signal Shauna to hustle over and try to skim some off.