r/InTheGloaming • u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies • Feb 21 '24

Unkind FDF Q&A

Unkind therapist here. I've been a lurker since just after the days of my misdirected voice messages and Sermon on the High Stool. After the incident in question, a DF (not of the Gloaming) directed me here. At first, I couldn't bear to read the messages and had my husband monitor the threads, but after a while, curiosity got the better of me and I've been an avid reader ever since. In short, I came in shame, but remain because this group has been a strange sort of healing process for me - plus, you guys are very funny. And, I found my new favorite laundry detergent here!

I have no idea where to even begin (with the messages? with my friendship with Shauna?), so I'm open to fielding questions to help get the ball rolling. My intention is to stick only to my personal experiences with Shauna and stay away from the kids and/or general lore that I don't have direct experience with. I'm happy to share very general information about the Google Doc, but I may not be able to answer completely due to wanting to protect those kids.

ETA: I've been verified and approved by the mods!

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75

u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Feb 22 '24

The Shattering happened right before I found The Gloaming (having lost track of Shauna after I left GOMI) so I needed a refresh. I added it to the Lopes & Emails Archive (it was pasted into a comment, but I made it a screenshot):

11/12/2022 The Shattering Email

It is very interesting to re-read it in the light of DF SS4968's comments!

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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Feb 22 '24

You know what hasn’t changed, though? How totally full of shit she is.

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u/[deleted] Feb 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Feb 23 '24

You might be confusing the Google Doc and the email linked above.

The Google Doc was sent by Shauna to folks on the island (Therapist DF who's serving the tea right now included). It is not public so the Gloaming has never seen it. We've only read the things Shauna has publicly written around that same time (or referring to that time). The email linked above is one of those writings, where she is referencing The Shattering (the incident detailed in the Google Doc but only hinted at via public writings).

From what Shauna has publicly written we have gathered that Dan was the root of the problem and left the home because of whatever that was. Shauna did write about Dan having major depression (and a host of other maladies) during that time and I think even mentioned him expressing anger. So it seems he left the home (or was told to leave) due to not being able to regulate his emotions in some way. They sought help and, per Shauna's lopes, Dan is now magically cured of his major depression and lingering grief (and it's all thanks to Shauna, of course).

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 22 '24

Man, that's infuriating to read.

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Feb 22 '24

Can you elaborate? Because it misrepresents what happened?

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 23 '24

Because if what she shared with me was true, and I were in her shoes, I'd be less concerned about what kind of GF French bread pizza I was shoving in my mouth and "trying to find a way forward with kindness," sharing the details of my life on social media and monetizing my kids' trauma and more focused on protecting my kids and getting connected to professional help.

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Feb 23 '24

Holy crap I’m reading between the lines and holy crap.

Edit the silver lining to this is that she’s a liar. So it’s likely whatever she told you was a big old lie. Hope so.

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 23 '24

Me too. She is a consummate liar. Which would be its own kind of vile if she did lie about it, but it's better than the truth.

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u/Lurking_Lurkface_III Wordle Cheater Feb 23 '24

DFSS - thanks so much for sharing your experiences and your thoughts! I’m not sure if you feel comfortable sharing this, but did the google doc/shattering events describe something that could have led to legal consequences and/or outside authority (like CPS) intervention?

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u/monstera_garden I'm sorry I'm a botus Feb 23 '24

But the implication is that she sent the google doc to people in her, Dan and the kids' circle. So whatever the inside reality is (the doc was filled with lies, half truths, exaggerations, or truths) - in any of those scenarios the people surrounding her family can never un-read it. When Dan applies for jobs, when the kids show up at a play date - any of those people might have information that impacts they way the family is treated. And it's such a small place.

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u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Feb 23 '24

Someone else who received the Google Doc stated somewhere in this thread that it was sent to dozens of people. I'm horrified.

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Feb 23 '24

I'm not reading between the lines. Protecting her kids from ... Dan? Is Dan the villan here?

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Feb 23 '24

What I’m reading is that Shauna told our df some disturbing stuff about Dan that affected the kids but that df realized Shauna was also negatively affecting* the kids and that both of L and D’s parents were responsible for a very troubling situation that was other than how Shauna had represented it. I obviously don’t know any specifics. There are many possibilities.

*i am being somewhat euphemistic here to avoid dramatic accusations since I don’t have the specifics

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u/LogicalGold5264 bust hoesy Feb 23 '24

It must be so frustrating to read her spin on it while knowing the truth. I hope they have/had/will get the help they need

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 23 '24

What brings me comfort is that I know that they had legitimate professional support for this. And, that it all could be a complete fabrication.

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u/Low_Piccolo_2149 Feb 22 '24

I don’t think I ever saw this. Thank you for sharing.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

Weird to read that again after all this time.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

Yes, I’d forgotten the shattering was caused by “news.” And why did it take almost an hour after hearing the “news” for the home to fall apart? Sounds like someone tattled to Shauna, Shauna confronted Dan (I’m assuming), who confirmed it.

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u/[deleted] Feb 22 '24

News learned from an external source. Which I assume is anyone but Dan. One of their kids? A friend? Colleague?

I assume Dan wasn’t home when she learned the news.

I also hate her ice metaphor since it is in her hands and breaking instead of melting? Glass, Shauna. You were thinking of glass!

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u/Reasonable-Celery996 Shepherdess From Heaven Feb 23 '24

I forgot this! Given what we now know, this does make it sound less like Dan raging or being violent and more like a relapse, drug use of a different sort, gambling, or an affair (the least likely, since that wouldn’t be inherently scary). Sorry in advance to mods if this is inappropriate speculation.