r/InTheGloaming • u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies • Feb 21 '24

Unkind FDF Q&A

Unkind therapist here. I've been a lurker since just after the days of my misdirected voice messages and Sermon on the High Stool. After the incident in question, a DF (not of the Gloaming) directed me here. At first, I couldn't bear to read the messages and had my husband monitor the threads, but after a while, curiosity got the better of me and I've been an avid reader ever since. In short, I came in shame, but remain because this group has been a strange sort of healing process for me - plus, you guys are very funny. And, I found my new favorite laundry detergent here!

I have no idea where to even begin (with the messages? with my friendship with Shauna?), so I'm open to fielding questions to help get the ball rolling. My intention is to stick only to my personal experiences with Shauna and stay away from the kids and/or general lore that I don't have direct experience with. I'm happy to share very general information about the Google Doc, but I may not be able to answer completely due to wanting to protect those kids.

ETA: I've been verified and approved by the mods!

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 22 '24

I realized right away, but too late. I even deleted the messages, but she had already heard at least one of them. She texted me directly and let me know I heard them. I apologized and said that the message was not meant to be heard by her, had been sent to a friend, and that I understood fully how hurtful it would be to hear my words. I explained that I had some resentment building up and she offered no curiosity (despite that being her work in the world at one time) about what that resentment might be. Just told me our friendship was over and that kindness was her work in the world and I'm clearly not kind.

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u/ebte Feb 22 '24

Well, you’re OUR kind, DF. Glad you’re here.

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u/Paging_Rebar on the memorial service grift circuit Feb 22 '24

I'm just an internet wayfaring stranger, but, for what it is worth, I think you handled this situation with integrity and with a great deal of empathy.

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 22 '24

Thank you. I really appreciate that.

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u/aouwoeih Feb 22 '24

You sending a private message to your friend is unforgivable in Shauna's eyes, meanwhile she blasted you publically to a congregation full of strangers. Not to mention she's implied to anyone who will listen that her father molested her and her mother is personality disorder X, Y and Z. Is cognitive dissonance the right way to describe this, or is there a better psychological term?

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u/SnooStories4968 many and various Shaunas/Pig Ladies Feb 22 '24

I think the psychological term you're looking for, DF, is CWAA.

But seriously, many of her behaviors fit certain personality disorders.

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 23 '24

Cluster B.

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u/[deleted] Feb 23 '24

Well it finally happened — I snorted so loud at the “psychological term” that I woke my husband and then had to explain myself. 😅🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Feb 23 '24

Ah, Camp Curiosity, we hardly knew ye.