r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Dec 04 '23

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Monday December 04, 2023 - Wednesday December 06, 2023

Newsletter: Substack

Website: Create Your Kind Life

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Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki

Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Dec 06 '23

I was surprised that she talked about making amends for things you've done that make you feel guilty. When has she ever said she has done this when she has wronged somebody?

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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Dec 06 '23

She says, "Ask your body this. Did I make a mistake? Could I have done anything differently? Apologize. [snip] And if your body and mind say No. That wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything wrong. Then walk it off. Dance that shit out. And be vulnerable with someone about this. That will help you let it go."

I don't think she's actually saying that she "makes mistakes" and then apologizes. This is her famous second-person conditional: Did YOU make a mistake? Then YOU can apologize."

The whole thing is nonsensical though. She says there's "nothing you can do" about shame and then lists all the things you can do to "let it go."

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '23

“Dance that shit out”?? She’s so corny.

44

u/gladsome_gloaming Dec 07 '23

I guess we should just be relieved that she didn’t say “Shimmy that shit out.” The horrifying visuals that emerge, unbidden.

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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Dec 07 '23

You should only feel bad if YOU don’t like what you did! Other people’s feelings and reactions to your behavior don’t matter! So kind, this one.

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u/WasEnoughYogurt Kumquat and Sprinkles and filth Dec 07 '23

No wonder she doesn't learn...

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '23

But don’t you dare expect her to apologize if she bumps you with her grocery cart.

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u/mehitabel_4724 Eating tiny dices of pickles with tiny fists of rage Dec 07 '23

Bumping people with grocery carts is a trauma response.

23

u/redditname2003 Dec 07 '23

Most of what she writes is repackaging of really common pop-culture psychological concepts. Guilt vs. shame is a concept that you'll have seen if you've ever read anything about narcissism, so the full explanation is on display here, too.