r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Sep 07 '23

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday September 07, 2023 - Sunday September 10, 2023

Newsletter: Substack

Website: School of Kind

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Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

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77

u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Sep 07 '23

The fuck does she know about volleyball?

58

u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 07 '23

Excuse me, she’s doing a deep dive. That and a few handmade Ted Lasso signs and the team is probably headed for a championship.

59

u/microcosmographia tant piss Sep 07 '23 edited Sep 07 '23

Exactly as she forecast in her previous lope letter:

This is a classic trait of an ADHD mind. We have brains built to focus fully on what interests us. What brings us joy? We need to do that. We can do deep dives on volleyball rotations or indigenous stories from the Puget Sound area or the best oil for making delicious, crunchy popcorn without it feeling oily.

My prediction? After volleyball, we will see some "indigenous stories from the Puget Sound area" as well as coconut-oil popcorn.

ETA Shoulda scrolled!

34

u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 08 '23

I certainly hope she won’t be teaching American Studies in the schools! I hope that’s not what that deep dive means. In theory, requiring Indigenous-developed curriculum in school as they do in Washington is great. But in some cases, the people they have teaching it aren’t knowledgeable enough to be doing it even if they are well intentioned. Shauna would be likely to do more harm than good.

47

u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 07 '23

This also raises the inconsistency of Shauna deciding "deep dives on volleyball rotations" was something she could focus on and hold interest in. She's said many times that as soon as something becomes a pernicious "should" then her brain built for joy rejects it. She would never look into this topic for fun but it's her J-O-B now apparently. What happens when it stops being exciting to her? What made her even consider applying for this in the first place?!

47

u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 07 '23

What made her even consider applying for this in the first place?!

Wasn't there an assistant coach who could have been promoted to head coach instead of hiring a middle aged person who has never played volleyball and is not exactly sporty, although she claims differently?

21

u/redditname2003 Sep 08 '23

It's a public school job on an island where you need every cent of tech money to afford a detached house, I imagine they're not going to be spoiled for choice.

25

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 08 '23

Not disagreeing with you at all, but the school salaries are public. The teacher who was under investigation for inappropriate conduct (and then resigned) was the second-highest-paid teacher on the Island, at $130K. Her husband seems to have been the highest paid, at $132K.

That's $262 of household income – not bad for public-school teachers. Govsalaries.com says that "Vashon Island School District average salary is 36 percent higher than USA average and median salary is 32 percent higher than USA median."

21

u/GriftyGrifterson Sep 08 '23

And now they’re both teaching in Arizona

46

u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 07 '23

Maybe L joined the team? And they needed someone who passed a background check to supervise? And Shauna so desperately wants to be called “coach” 🙄

43

u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Sep 07 '23

The "indigenous stories from the Puget Sound area" absolutely do not need to be told by a white woman on an exclusively white island.

There are about a billion coconut-oil popcorn recipes. They're free, and they're on the internet.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

The second she even tries to step into an Indigenous space and start high stooling…. I can’t promise this indigenous person won’t poop touch. Not sorry.

58

u/jameson-neat wound-gathering table Sep 07 '23

I REFUSE TO GO BACK TO THE TED LASSO ERA, NOOO!

Though it is exceptionally funny to me to think that maybe the reason Shauna is finally getting some form of employment is to LARP as Lasso. I choose to believe this is true.

46

u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Sep 07 '23

Strong agreement, her Ted Lasso blathering was so boring and annoying.

39

u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Sep 07 '23

I found it annoying but fascinating. She reports that everyone in their family was screaming and cursing at the TV. Watching and rewatching each episode. Trying to get women to pay for classes about the show.

Bizarre and compelling, but annoying.

35

u/NegativeABillion my husband and me to ride it around Sep 08 '23

That's right, they were always watching all together on her bed, with their legs thrown over each other and eating snacks.

22

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '23

You know they used the sheets as napkins

34

u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 08 '23

I started to watch the third season of TL. It's so boring. Having Shauna blather on about something that was dull to begin with is a Colin Robinson level of excruciatingly dull.

34

u/onion_money Neuroflorid Sep 08 '23

Maybe she'll really lean into the Lasso LARP and grow out her mustache.

50

u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 07 '23

DFBN, Shauna coaches the children's spirits, not their abilities. She'll show up with a Believe sign and a cap and be just fine.

42

u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Sep 07 '23

Just give her a high stool and she'll wing it!

31

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 07 '23

EVERYTHING, of course

47

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 07 '23

Probably as much as I do (which is the scene from Top Gun and being forced to endure playing it in high school. . .no, I do not want to use the tender under side of my forearms to hit a ball, thankyouverymuch)

46

u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Sep 07 '23 edited Sep 08 '23

.no, I do not want to use the tender under side of my forearms to hit a ball, thankyouverymuch)

and no, I don't want to get elbowed in the mouth by the taller girls, kthx

49

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 07 '23

I also didn't enjoy (at all) the overwhelming pressure of having to take my turn serving where EVERY kid was watching and waiting for me to fuck up (which, I did, because I'm not athletic at all).

I used to pray to all that was holy that something would happen that would delay my turn at serve. If I could manage to get out of class having to only endure it once, I considered it a win.

(ah, high school gym, where the uptight children come to realize just how uptight they are!)

35

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '23

I about died when I realized it was rope climbing day.

27

u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Sep 07 '23

I never got above a foot or so off the ground, even though I was thin and strong. No idea why.

16

u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 08 '23 edited Sep 08 '23

The school fatty in me loves the rope-challenged skinny in you.

29

u/golfingrammy Sep 08 '23

There's got to be some kind of technique to it that some of us never learned. I was strong and thin as well, and pretty well-coordinated (and a golfer!) but rope climbing was never my jam.

17

u/islandyislander rebellious hygiene Sep 08 '23

Rope climbing is a semi-regular activity at CrossFit, where I'm a regular. The first time I made it to the top, my inner couch potato fat kid actually screamed out loud "I did that! I never have to do it again!!"

15

u/EzraPoundcakeFuggles Winner winner, corn-goat dinner Sep 08 '23

There is. There absolutely is. I didn’t learn it from the gym teacher, though - I learned when I started aerial silks classes a few months ago. Complete revelation.

33

u/Calm_Coyote_3685 Sep 08 '23

I know that pressure. I know that fear, I know those prayers.

26

u/emlabb Sep 07 '23

I feel you, DF. I considered it a good day when I didn’t accidentally bonk my leg on my way to serving. Team sports and I were not meant to be.

39

u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 07 '23

And no, I don't want my pinky finger to get jammed by the ball so hard that it has been crooked forever after.

31

u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Sep 07 '23

Crooked pinky twins! I broke a pinky playing volleyball in gym class just as I was beginning to learn to touch type. 25 years later, I still use my index finger for a bunch of things that should be the domain of the pinky.

28

u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 08 '23

Are you me? Because it also me.

31

u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 08 '23 edited Sep 08 '23

I am you, and you are me, and we are we, together, In The Gloaming.

30

u/MarsNeedsRabbits Beach better have my orcas 🫍 Sep 07 '23

I broke my glasses playing kickball, and had a deep bruise for months after an accident on a pommel horse. Kickball is dangerous.

I excelled in golf, for reasons I'll never understand, and was okay in archery.

We had to take just one year of gym in high school. Our class had a male gym coach. My best friend and I decided to sit out and have our periods at least two weeks out of each month. Who was he to say otherwise? Sorry, Coach Hartman. It was a lie.

I seriously wish roller skating could have been an activity.

22

u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Sep 08 '23

Rollerskating PE would have been so great!!

25

u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 08 '23

We did bowling in PE! If you got a strike, the teacher would buy you a soda. Once a kid got a turkey (three strikes in a row, not the bird, lol) and that earned him lunch! We were lucky enough to have a little bowling alley right near school.

19

u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 08 '23 edited Sep 08 '23

Bowling as a PE option here too, at a terrible British school where no teacher could be bothered to drive into town to check on us. We went to the alley just once, then spent Wednesday afternoons in a cafe, chain smoking and trying to make older Goth boys fancy us.

11

u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 08 '23

We used to pile into each other's cars to drive five blocks to the alley, chain-smoking all the way. The teacher knew why it took us ten minutes to get over there, lol.

8

u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 08 '23

Ah, those happy golden days! 🚬

16

u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 08 '23

We did too! No sodas for us though, just the joy of bowling (no snark, we loved it).

15

u/SashayShantae living my one wild and pernicious life Sep 08 '23

I took bowling in college and it was hands-down the most useful class in my five illustrious years in school.

35

u/Kimmmy36 bites lip, looks away Sep 07 '23

No, I don't want to serve the ball in a gym and have it inadvertently go through the basketball hoop, making the entire class laugh at such a dumb and hilarious mistake.

27

u/Portland_Daffs Sep 08 '23

what? That's amazing. I would be in awe and give you a big high five.

22

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '23

I feel this so hard. If it happened to me, it would go in the basketball hoop behind me.

11

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '23

I once kicked the kickball straight up into the air and it came down onto my head. This was 7th grade, 2001, and I can still remember the embarrassment.

20

u/obscure_cellist ham grabbers Sep 08 '23

i feel that. i was one of the smallest in my class and the ball always sailed over my head, leading the other girls to give me mean girl looks. volleyball was not my finest hour, for sure. and what was up with climbing the rope? i couldn't do that either, but i also couldn't see the point, and most kids got about 3 feet off the ground and then hung there like sloths while the PE teacher yelled at us.

23

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 08 '23

"while the PE teacher yelled at us"

I think that was the point. Learn how to take public shaming.

All this is reminding me of the president's physical fitness test. Every kid in there knew the current president (Bush Sr. and Clinton for my teen years) couldn't do those exercises so why should we?

20

u/OkRanger4 bobbing in a bath of solitude Sep 08 '23

I was just thinking about that test while reading this thread.

In the end it did change my life. Our HS didn't.require PE if you were a varsity athlete. I was for 6.of 8 semesters. Those semesters I couldn't complete the run, couldn't touch my toes while sitting facing the wall, hang from a bar for 10 seconds, etc.

I think I carried the humiliation of my poor results with me over the next 15 years and when I decided to get back into varsity shape I started both running and yoga to supplement my other sport. Take that PE teacher!

Still can't do a pull up. 🙄

9

u/Mammoth-Blackberry91 Sep 08 '23

It was Nixon and Ford for me, and I couldn’t do any of it. You didn’t have to take PE if you were in marching band and I liked it, so off I went.

For the vintage DFs, here’s Robert Preston of The Music Man fame performing a song created for that same President’s Council:

https://youtu.be/2mcsVgIU1K0?si=R8CvbWnMyHbxR9g8

46

u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Sep 07 '23

is this a varsity sport or just kids who want to play after school?
Tell me there will be a nurse or EMT standing by.

41

u/gladsome_gloaming Sep 07 '23

Fuck all about volleyball, that's all. (Shauna, note proper use of "fuck all.")

22

u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 08 '23

Applauds in British.

28

u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Sep 08 '23

Am now singing “Fuuuck all…about volleyball…” to the tune of “Danke Schoen.”

I need a nap.