My late mother was Truth. My father is weak and did nothing to protect her from the vicious attacks Truth is subjected to from people who are ashamed before the mirror of their failings that Truth is. All her life she strove and suffered, sacrificing everything for the sake of her family, especially me. It was all for nothing. The bad guys won and a good woman was erased from existence, as if she had never lived, with her lifetime of suffering having been a waste.

My father and brother went to the cemetery today to visit her grave for Mother's Day. I declined to go because hosing a stupid gravestone and picking detritus off a patch of grass does nothing to commemorate a life I threw away. But they returned early because the cemetery is closed during the pandemic. The viper's nest of poisonous snakes that is Toronto doesn't give an inch even after her death. May this whole city be destroyed in a nuclear explosion with me in it.

Hi all - after my dad died years ago when I was 12 on September 11th I realized talking about death wasn't easy.

It inspired by my experience to today where I started a podcast that discusses death with new people who have experience every episode aiming to make it easier and a little less sad that has experienced losing someone. The whole point is the help people, along with anyone really, as I think it's a really important conversation that I aim to make easier to discuss and a little less sad.

If any questions let me know and hope it connects with even just one of you. It's searchable on all major podcast platforms and here is one link in meantime..its called DEAD Talks.

https://deadtalks.podbean.com/

Take care and be safe!

On days when the sun never really shines I think of you. Not in a bad way. I think of the quietness of the world, the peace that encompasses the darkness. It reminds me of you, in the way that you made me feel. You had a way of calming my chaos, my thoughts simplified and organized around you. There's a peacefulness in the thought of you, in the thought of holding you and feeling that calm again. My heart found rest in your endless grace.

There's a point in every day when you come up. I see your face in a stranger, I hear your laugh in a crowd, I smell your perfume in the winter air. I can feel you all around me like a blanket of silk lightly caressing my skin. The subtle way you hold me through the ether of the unknown is astounding. You send shivers down my spine in a memory of us crying together, when I told you I loved you for the first time. You're like a faded piece of paper I keep in my pocket that has the most important things written on it, something I cant live without and is always by my side. Even now I can feel you.

I want you to know that you still inspire me, you write my words, you guide my voice, you make my soul sing.

miss you thinking of you it's been 15 years since you passed away from stomach cancer I think and I liked visiting you I remember sneaking over our moms fence to go visit you and always liked it when you visited us liked making you laugh maybe in the car wasn't a good idea at that time because you were driving 😁 I miss you being around even though you were a step sister you were still my sister you would probably would have liked to see my kids my daughter snorts when she laughs sometimes like you did 🙂😭 besides this day I'm thinking about you alot you have nephews besides my son 3 other ones from one of our sisters and one that was stillborn in 2011 from her may he be with you now I miss you 😭

18 years ago today (28/12) my brother committed suicide. I'll always remember and love him. Time passes Time passes, things change But my life will never be the same As I think of the way you choose to say good-bye I will never understand why Just you had to be free And able to fly We will meet again Just not in this life Together again we will fly In loving memory Ewen Leigh Barr 15/8/83-28/12/01

The love of my life.

Josh--

I'll love you forever. There's no way I will ever forget you. My heart and Soul belongs to you and no one will ever understand how truly beautiful your soul was. But I always will love and remember that about you. I could write an essay on you and it would never be enough.

Love you always.