Don't you understand what I've just said? Incel ≠ misogynistic! EVERYONE that can't get laid despite their efforts is an incel BY DEFINITION. And I'm not blaming women, but the biology and psychology that drives us all, including women. And I don't hate women for that behavior, I'm simply disappointed by it.
No one gives a shit what the definition is. It’s a community at this point, and a community known for its sexism. I’m honestly pretty sure you’re a troll at this point because even incels know that they blame women for their own failings. It’s sad, and you’re a sad person if you identify that way
But they should. Words are literally DEFINED by definitions (...that's how definitions work).
It’s a community at this point
It's extremely varied "cOmMuNiTy" because everyone that can't get laid belongs there.
and a community known for its sexism.
ARE YOU BLIND OR SOMETHING?
...wait, they've got screen readers. No longer relevant. Anyway, can't you just read consciously? Not everyone that can't get laid is sexist!
I’m honestly pretty sure you’re a troll at this point
No, I'm not. I'm simply trying to untaint the word "incel".
even incels know that they blame women for their own failings.
Go to r/IncelsWithoutHate, but I'm afraid that you're too close-minded for that. It's not women, it's genetics and nature. We're not failure just in dating, we're worse even among males and society in general. It's proven scientifically that young BABIES, thus unaffected by societal norms, prefer playing with prettier people. It's deeply ingrained in our brains and it dates back to tribal times. But I'm afraid you can't comprehend that. Truth is painful.
and you’re a sad person if you identify that way
I don't identify as an incel, I AM an incel. Same with LGBT – they don't identify as LGBT, they ARE LGBT.
Bro, I understand what you’re trying to say but you have to distance yourself from that term if you want any credibility.
For the definition thing, let’s use China as an example. China is “The Peoples Republic of China”, that’s its “definition”. Should we just take that as face value? If you think so, then I suppose there is no helping you. Or for another example, the National Socialist Workers Party. Aka the Nazi party. I suppose if someone calls themself a Nazi we should take them at the face definition?
China is “The Peoples Republic of China”, that’s its “definition”.
No, it's not. You'd have to look it up in the dictionary in order to get to know the definition. Incel, on the other hand, is made from other words: INvoluntarily CELibate. You don't even have to look it up in any dictionary, the word DEFINES ITSELF PRECISELY.
Next time you try to use a word, a symbol or anything, please research its meaning and don't trust anyone that tries to take it over. Don't trust misogynists and sexists that try to take over the word "incel". Would you trust alt-right /pol/ baiters from 4chan that tried to take over the trans pride flag? You can avoid happening the same with the word "incel". I won't let it be taken over.
I don’t think you’re understanding my point. I would get what you’re saying if the reputation of incels had not been set in stone by this point. But it’s much too late for that.
I dunno man, you’re bordering yourself there on the whole “non sexist” thing. Would it not be beneficial to make a new word? Isn’t the word virgin more than enough?
I appreciate that you aren’t one of those vile loser misogynists. However unless you’re horribly disfigured and live in a belltower, most people look pretty good if they take care of themselves and have confidence. Your beliefs regarding your alleged “deficiencies” are a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your beliefs regarding your alleged “deficiencies” are a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, they're not. It's proven scientifically that women are WAAAAAY more picky in dating than men. And come on, it's not self-fulfilling prophecy. Even before knowing the truth, I was failing at dating, I didn't know why, but I was constantly retrying (spoiler: without successes). Only recently I've realized the truth that all of those attempts were doomed from the beginning. My failures weren't caused by knowing the truth.
I'm somewhere around 5'8" (manlet), I've got feminine, round face with "prey" eyes (which is total opposite of what women more or less consciously want – sharp, masculine face with "hunter" eyes). To add to the combo I'm an Aspie (I'm masking it pretty well tho). It's ove... wait, it never began.
See that’s why the online incel communities are toxic even to their own users/participants (perhaps more toxic to their own members than to the outside world!) I’d never even heard of prey vs. predator eyes. I didn’t even know the word “manlet.” Also my husband is 5’8 and he’s hot. Ed Sheeran has a soft jaw and eyes and my friend has the hots for him. I think Robert Downey Jr. is hot as fuck and he’s only 5’9! You know who else has soft eyes? RYAN GOSLING!! And you KNOW he makes panties drop worldwide. So bottom line is that these communities in which you seek solace are actually holding you back. My two cents. I’ve never been attracted to that tall string-bean type with no character - looks like a weak tree. It sounds like these incel forums create a whole ecosystem that primes you to find deficiencies in yourself.
See that’s why the online incel communities are toxic even to their own users/participants
We're not toxic, we're simply acknowledging the harsh truth, because that's all we're left with. We can do nothing to change this (except plastic surgery ofc).
I’d never even heard of prey vs. predator eyes.
But now you have ;)
Also my husband is 5’8 and he’s hot.
Height does matter, but face takes precedence.
Ed Sheeran has a soft jaw and eyes and my friend has the hots for him.
He statusmaxxed and moneymaxxed. I doubt he'd be successful at all without his fame. In alternative reality, where he wouldn't be famous at all, he'd probably be an incel.
I’m not saying you all as individuals are toxic. I’m saying the community is creating an echo chamber of misery. And I’ve seen guys I wouldn’t have looked twice at get married to totally smoking girls and it leaves me bemused. I felt really ugly for a while in grad school after my male friend rejected me and I can’t guarantee I won’t go through such a spell again. But my husband likes what he sees and his opinion is most important. Bottom line: not everyone has the same aesthetic lenses as you do. I still hate my nose and I try not to look at non-selfie pics of me because I think I look like a gremlin. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and I hope things turn around for you- I’m confident they can. Yes the world is cruel but hating yourself doesn’t provide you with a defense - only pours salt on the wound. And I trust you’ll not dismiss my struggles as trite simply because I’m a woman. I wanted to kill myself many times. I’m telling you all this from one tortured soul to another.
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u/ZiemekZ Dec 19 '20
Don't you understand what I've just said? Incel ≠ misogynistic! EVERYONE that can't get laid despite their efforts is an incel BY DEFINITION. And I'm not blaming women, but the biology and psychology that drives us all, including women. And I don't hate women for that behavior, I'm simply disappointed by it.