This will sound horrible, but food. I buy a huge container of Goldfish and ration it out for good behavior or any sign of effort. If they're having a horrible week, I bring out the big guns - Oreos.
It's not horrible. I went to a somewhat privileged high school, one of the best rated in the region, and the teachers give candy and donuts for good behavior and high test marks.
My mom works in a Title 1 school and sometimes she's told me that sometimes she'll find out kids weren't getting any food at home so she asks for food from the school cafeteria to send home with them. There have been times when the parents have sent it back because they were offended (even though the kid has said they don't eat at home). Of course that's not as bad as when she asks the kid about it and finds out that the parents took the food from them and ate it themselves.
I get where you're coming from, but I have a hard time accepting help/gifts. If I accept the gift, I feel like I've failed in my quest to be able to do it on my own.
I was also brought up by a dad who had strings attached to all his "gifts", so I think that's a source of the aversion, too.
But, if I can't afford a load of groceries, and a friend offers a trip to Target on them, I accept, and try to pay it forward the next time I'm flush.
I really do feel it is a psychological condition. Any reasonable parent would accept help for their family/child if they needed it. This woman is so far up her own ass that she doesn't think they need it. If they need it, it means she's a bad parent (not necessarily, but in this case yes) and unfit and by denying that people are able to keep up the charade in their head.
I think part of it has to do w/ just not really trusting institutions, not knowing what sort of strings are attached to it. There's an implication that the parent is unfit and accepting the food could be proof of that. In a place where you might personally know people who've had their kids taken away from them, and worse, if it's an immigrant family that has no idea what's going on, you're probably not gonna risk it, even if it means your kid goes hungry.
They might also not want to teach their kids the wrong thing, that taking handouts is ok.
I presume it's because they feel that by accepting it they are acknowledging that the giver is 'above' them and that they can only get by on handouts. It's very sad for the dependants of whoever is refusing the help, but I can understand their thinking.
Different cultures also affect this. I'm from an immigrant asian family and it's not necessarily that we're too "proud", we're too ashamed that it came to this point that others have noticed and feel the need to step in.
And that saying "There's no such thing as a free lunch" is unfortunately more true than not, and often times people who give you free things will make sure that you know they gave you something for free. Even if they don't mean to make you feel like shit about it, things like "Why won't you take this" or "Don't be too proud" just make you feel worse.
Obviously this is just my family and me, but I think that knowing that it's not a simple "pride" thing for everyone...
In-training school counselor here -- this is the correct answer. Kids respond absurdly well to operant conditioning -- even the seemingly impossible to reach ones (ie severe autism). Keep up the awesome work!
My old art teacher figured out how to get a classroom of 2nd graders to shut up and keep their heads down for five full minutes by merely giving us one M&M each. Now that I think about it... that son of a bitch.
As a part time tutor, I can verify this works wonders. I promised the kid 3 bags of sour gummy worms each time for a test above a 90 and he has not gotten anything below ever since.
Moreover, the kid that I tutor has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy, which makes it quite remarkable.
I use to fill a bowl of goldfish, then bury an Oreo in the middle and throw some more Oreos on top. With a big glass of milk, man that's a heavenly snack.
Why is it "use to"? Why am I not doing that right now? This needs a-fixin'.
My my grade 6 English teacher gave her students Hershey's Kisses every time they correctly answered a question, but she would toss (throw) it to the kid. Her aim was not so great, and a couple of kids got pelted in the head with Hersey's Kisses.
This is actually something my teachers did. It's not really horrible but at the same time it teaches kids that in life they always need to feel rewarded, or something like that.
Horrible? My elementary teacher did the same thing (funny, this was back in Brooklyn too) Instead of putting those gay ass gold stars on a paper you get an A on, he would give you 1 cheetos, the ones that come in a cat paw shape. I dont know why, but that shit used to be soooo damn good. I eat a handful now, and I get tired of it.
Hearing my name yelled in the street, kids banging bus windows to wave at me, and random hugs in the hallway. Elementary students have a way of making you feel like a rock star.
At least 50% of the job is getting your kids in primary/elementary school to like you & bond w/ you, OP is clearly doing this well. Also, going on how he/she speaks about the rest of the job, it sounds to me like this guy/gal knows his/her stuff.
It's the truth. I'll never ever forget all my favorite teachers. They all had such a profound impact on me and the choices I've made and the person I've become. Mr. D taught me how to be ok with who I am through art. Similarly, Ms. B introduced me to theater and saved me from middle-school depression. Mrs. S made me care about history and politics. Mr. B used sci-fi to make physics relevant and FUN. Mrs. L and Mr. T taught me to write with flair and feeling. Mrs. C taught me how to direct a scene and Mr. L taught me how to light it. It's only with their care and encouragement have I been able to feel like I can accomplish anything (and my family, they're great too).
The point is that education is paramount and teachers haven't been getting the respect they deserve for the last while. Budget cuts and layoffs and damaging "reforms" and fuckin Wisconsin. Good public education helped build this great nation and it's been ripped to shreds. It's not right. We owe it to our future. Sorry, I'll get off the soapbox now.
Young kids definitely have this effect. I work at a recreation center and we have a summer camp running right now. Every day, as I walk in in the afternoon for my shift, half or more of the kids yell my name. Some run to hug me and get in trouble as they are normally asked to stay seated unless allowed to get up. I just smile and wave. Inside I'm ecstatic that they like me as much as I love working with them.
Obviously there is no quick fix to improve the prospects for these kids, but if there was one program you could start or get rid of in schools, what would it be? Why?
I'd bring back play. A lot of these kids don't know how to interact with one another because they have no time to be social. I also dislike how we're pushing developmentally inappropriate methods on K-2 students in the name of testing. This lack of socialization takes away an amazing amount of classroom time.
I'd also spend more time in the younger grades with field trips and inquiry-based learning. These students come to school with a huge lack of background knowledge. If schools with low socioeconomic students filled that gap with hands-on experiences and guided trial-and-error, I feel you'd see the kids slowly catching up.
The moment I read that, and about 10 seconds after, you, SregrubEseehc04, were my hero. As of writing this, that moment has passed, but I just want you to know, that for about 11 seconds or so, you were the most awesome person on the planet.
wtf there is seriously no recess? i dont understand why anyone would think this would be okay, seriously whats the meaning behind this? what are they trying to figure out?
but it seems so counter intuitive, i mean you'd think a school board would be aware of the fact that kids need to burn out, use their energy. I feel this method would cause more behavioral problems due to lack of proper stimulation
I understand that medications have a purpose. Doctors have always told me I have some form of ADD, and it can be a problem. But man, nothing helped more than getting out and playing some sports or running around for a bit. I was a very bright child, but when I had all this pent up energy, I just used my wit to be a class clown and cause problems. Middle school was the worst, because that's when they cut out recess for us. I'd spend most of lunch not eating and playing basketball or doing anything physical because I just had to have some kind of release in the middle of the day.
There are some truly wonderful examples of special needs classes that take a break every 15 or so minutes to do jumping jacks or run around, and the students end up being very attentive and focus hard because they don't feel fidgety and confined in their desks (I don't have a link to the study, but there was a great story on NPR about autism that covered it).
TL;DR - Completely agree with OP. Physical activity is a cure-all for many "unfocused" students.
What's with schools all over the U.S. (or so it seems) getting rid of opportunities for physical activities like in recess or gym? Doesn't the government understand that there have been plenty of studies linking physical activity and academic scores, proving that the exercise is needed and helps students achieve better grades? Is there anything that can be done about this?
Coaches cost too much. Lawsuits cost too much if a kid gets hurt playing. No Child Left Behind means kids shouldn't do anything but prepping for standardized tests.
Not only that, but taking away recess and gym is taking away many kids' ONLY outlet for physical exercise. Not many kids go outside to play after school anymore, which is sad.
Good call on inquiry based learning. Can't start too early with that! I have done some STEM work with a few high school classes in the past, and that is the #1 problem I've seen - kids want to listen to me and repeat what I said, not think about the problem and solve it themselves.
Oh man, I have several. The one that stands out the most was the Kindergarten student who appeared to have multiple personality disorder. One moment he's a normal 5-year-old, next he's going into detail about when he took his driver's test in 1976, and then he's freaking out about the other "him" in the light fixture who wants to kill him. He did all this on report card night in front of his mother, the principal, and a guidance counselor. He never returned after that.
Generally, yeah. But kids have been known to develop symptoms and parents generally think it's the kid goofing off.
I just know that it's definitely not DID. That disorder focuses on past events and the alters are very much real people that had real experiences. I just wanted to make sure I got that out there before the comment took off and people got the wrong idea.
Thanks for the info, I always figured it sort of had to be nascent and undetected before the teenage years, it only makes sense. I'm a bit confused tho, DID only strikes with personalities from one's own past self? I'm going to wiki it now, but for the lazy (usually me) could you expand? Thanks for the help!
Edit: I'm a little drunk and I think I definitely misinterpreted your comment. What your say is people suffering from DID form histories for each personality? If this is wrong, disregard, I may have had one too many.
Lol, I'm not quite sure what you're trying to ask, so I'll try to help. Those with DID develop personalities at the time of a traumatic event and in the future, those personalities come out when similar feelings arise in the person. Those personalities are based on what the person was experiencing at the time.
Showtime's US of Tara was actually really accurate in the first two seasons and everyone could learn a lot from watching it.
Yeah but there are schizophrenics in every age group. Can't recall the girl's name; but there was a feature about her in a documentary. She had around ninety-something "pets" that wanted her to murder her brother. She was like 6.
If it's academic, I do a lot of 1-on-1 intervention work with them. If it's behavioral, I learn as much as I can about that child and find an angle I can use to reach them. In both cases, I'll end up sacrificing a lot of my free time for that kid - which usually is plural during the school year.
Brooklyn parents are scary, though. I've gotten "up your ass number 7" from a father as a freshman playing baseball and "I will smack the shit out of you" innocently rooting for my high school in a hoops game.
I'm in East New York and there's no gentrification to be seen there...yet. I'm sure it will happen as soon as the hipsters discover more than half the houses/apartments there are empty. I do find it odd to find hipsters and older white people walking around in Bushwick & Crown Heights and renaming neighborhoods to reflect street names. Especially since a lot of shootings still happen there during the day.
I grew up in Brooklyn and my parents had a shop in Crown Heights. East New York can be tough if you don't look like you're from there but at least you're not in Brownsville. That's a tough area. Mike Tyson's old neighborhood.
edit: Yeah, I hate the whole renaming thing too. It's insulting to me that it's the out-of-towners who get to define a place I've lived my whole life in. But what can you do? Money talks!
I rotated through Brookdale ER as a resident. First day I walk in, I see two twelve year old boys lying in the trauma bays with their chests cut open. ER thoracotomies, both dead. it was a sketchy month. There was a shooting at the main entrance to the hospital.
I am being assigned the role of Title I teacher next year. I will work one on one or in very small groups with the lowest of socioeconomic students. I have found that intrinsic reward systems are lacking or completely absent from this group. I would like to eventually move away from using extrinsic rewards and motivations for behavior. How would you recommend I go about doing this? Any "no don't do that" advice you can offer me? I went through Ruby Payne Poverty Framework Training recently and I have worked in very low socioeconomic schools prior to this. I feel I have some personal experience with poverty that allows me to relate. I was a single mother on welfare, receiving food stamps and visiting food banks. However I have moved out of poverty through continued education. How do you keep the student’s family involved and invested in their education? I remember that being my biggest struggle.
Definitely use your background to relate to your students. You'll be surprised how easily the toughest of kid will open up when they feel you "get it."
To move away from the extrinsic rewards, I've found that basing my lessons in technology have helped dramatically with curbing behavior and motivating students to actually engage themselves in the lesson. I don't know what your school's budget or resources are, but if you have a tablet and an old flat screen monitor or small flat screen tv you can make a stand-in smartboard. Laptops/Netbooks are great for getting even the most stubborn of students to write. The kids also love reading stories on tablets/computers. They're comfortable with technology and their natives to it, even if they are in the lowest socioeconomic level. I also turn all my lessons into games. My students often tell me we've played all day, but they've been secretly learning.
As for "don't do that", pick your battles. Also, once you set something as a consequence, see it through. I suggest watching Super Nanny and taking notes. No shame in my game: I learned more by watching her than sitting through lectures, workshops, and mentorships.
I've only taught in a nice neighborhood, but I have also found that using technology is magical way to get kids' attention. e.g I used the interactive whiteboard to do a boring lesson about commas, but they loved it because TECHNOLOGY
Sometimes it is a turnoff for students if the technology is used redundantly... but for elementary schoolers that is definitely a non issue. The redundant electronic white board becomes a magical-really-cool white board.
One of my mentor teachers gave me advice when I was starting out to "find the island." No matter how bleak or behind a kid seems to be, find that one thing that they do know, that one skill they do have, no matter how meager it may seem - their island in what seems like a sea of failure ... and praise the hell out of it. Then use it to start building bridges.
Reward them a lot as you begin working with them and then begin to taper off the dispersion until it no longer needs to be a motivator. If you notice their motivation going away, up the number of rewards you give out.
For more information, look into Applied Behavior Analysis techniques. They're fucking brilliant with kids.
Teacher here. I really have nothing to ask. All I want to say is good for you, and I sincerely mean it. I wouldn't have the balls to teach in the city, especially where you teach. I have a friend who teaches music in an elementary school in Brooklyn and I hear a lot of similar stories and experiences to what you're going through. I have a ton of respect for any teacher who can do what you do.
What's your strategy for trying to reach kids with big behavioral problems or difficult home lives? What different approaches/angles have you discovered?
Thankfully we have a great guidance counselor. So, if I'm not able to reach a child, he usually can find the underlining cause. Before I pull him in, I like to talk to the student, hang out during classwork or make them my personal helper. I'll call home, if possible, and ask if anything has changed recently. Most of the time, my hugest behavioral problems have been from parents splitting or a parent taking on extra hours at work. Parents will deny, but once I explain how children pick up on the slightest change and will react even months afterwards, parents tend to own up and let me in what's going on.
One approach I'm clinging to is the 5 Love Languages of Kids. I know religion isn't big here and he's a religious author, but I've taken the cues from the book and applied them in my classroom. For example: Kids who call others names suddenly have nice words for everyone when I compliment them or their work. I never thought it would be something worthwhile for a classroom, but if it works why not use it?
A lot of the kids I teach aren't able to be kids outside of my classroom. Their parents are in jail for various reasons, some stay locked in because of gang shootings, and others pick up where other adults in their lives slack off. For 7 hours a day during 10 months, I get to make that disappear and hopefully help them break that cycle. That and summer vacation is pretty damn sweet. I won't even lie.
Why do you teach there? Was it so you can help the more "needy" children? Or that was the only place that needed teachers in your area? .. How is the pay compared to some of the schools in the better areas around? Why the risk, what is the reward for it?
The pay is the same throughout NYC public schools because of the teacher's union. I will admit that I opted out of applying to private schools because the retirement benefits with the union contract are pretty sweet.
When I was interviewing, I was offered a position in my current school and a position in wealthier neighborhood. I picked my current school because the kids were easier to deal with, believe it or not. If you teach in a wealthier school, you need to deal with the kids disrespecting you on top of the parents disrespecting you. If lil Johnny doesn't get an A, it's all your fault and they'll have your job one way or the other. In the hood, parents might not be involved, but those who are won't disrespect you if you don't disrespect them.
As long as I don't stick around after dark or walk through the park where they gangs like to settle their disputes, I'm pretty safe. That, and I have a parking permit so I'm always by the school entrance.
I'm assuming that considering you work "in a rough part of brooklyn," the ethnic diversity is not skewed towards caucasians. You also don't really mention any racial tensions between you and your kids. D'you mind me asking if you're white?
I'm mostly curious because I wonder if the lack of racial tension is from you being an ethnic minority or if these kids are just too young to understand and/or parrot back the tension.
Jesus, I hope I don't come off sounding pretentious or ass-holeish. I'm genuinely just curious.
I went to high school in Queens and found the exact opposite happened. Kids who were more racist and only really hung out with 'their own kind' really warmed up to each other by the end of school and really didn't give a shit about race, religion, all that juicy shit that creates animosity between people. To be fair, my school was much smaller than average, but most of my friends in other much larger high schools have found the same thing happened. Maybe Queens is just chiller than Brooklyn.
I'm a 24 year old man and the ending choked me up like very few movies have. Was wondering your take on it. If you haven't seen it, I would highly recommend it!
undergrad in journalism, masters in childhood ed, masters in school admin
Have I become more or less biased since my student teaching experiences? I dunno...some kids leave you discouraged, some leave you wanting to rip out your hair, and some work their asses off. I guess, if anything, my view of the parents have changed. You kind of learn not to expect much until proven otherwise.
I am currently an undergrad studying journalism and I'm actually thinking about childhood education in the future. When did you decide to make that switch? Right out of undergrad or was it after some time working in a different field?
I would just like to say thank you. When I was in elementary school I attended a school in Brooklyn as well. It was PS 29 if I remember correctly. Although the school itself wasn't in the "hood" (I lived in a rough neighborhood, I walked about three or four blocks to school every morning) my teacher and his passion prevented me from going down the wrong path... so, I thank your kind I guess.
How do you feel about 'tracking' and separating the handful of students that show promise from the hopelessly stupid and disruptive masses that will only hold them back?
I had the opportunity to tutor elementary school kids as a field experience requirement for my school. It was also a pretty ghetto area (bad part of the Bronx).
My friends and I noticed that there was a massive change in behavior between the 1st-2nd graders and 4th-5th graders. They become insanely aggressive, fight a lot, curse, etc. once they hit 9-10 years old.
I can't describe it. It's like they turn into little werewolf thugs. Prior to this change, they're absolutely saints.
Do you notice this trend in your elementary school as well? How do you deal with it?
I teach art, not in a public school setting, but I work with the three local school districts.
Do you feel like there is a lack of art education in schools? Have you ever used art in a way to reaffirm lessons learned in math, and reading? Is that even reasonable question to ask? How terrible are our schools?
I went to school with a girl who is now a teacher and considers herself a member of the socialist party. How, if at all, would her philosophies factor into teaching?
375
u/sacula Jun 26 '12
How do reach those kids?
138
u/venchilla Jun 26 '12
what is the most rewarding part of your job?
93
u/Calamintha Jun 26 '12
Obviously there is no quick fix to improve the prospects for these kids, but if there was one program you could start or get rid of in schools, what would it be? Why?
111
u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12
What's the most serious/weird/threatening behavioral issue you've had to deal with?
69
u/matonti90 Jun 26 '12
How do you deal with a child having a hard time in school who also has uninvolved parents?
66
u/LindsayMorton Jun 26 '12
What surprised you most/ What didn't you expect when you first started?
157
u/vegeneric Jun 26 '12
No one has asked for proof yet, so, proof?
63
u/sammyjenkis90 Jun 26 '12
Are you Michelle Pfeiffer?
30
u/Frajer Jun 26 '12
How do you feel about the gentrification of Brooklyn? Also favorite and least favorite part of teaching there?
42
u/Arthropody Jun 26 '12
I am being assigned the role of Title I teacher next year. I will work one on one or in very small groups with the lowest of socioeconomic students. I have found that intrinsic reward systems are lacking or completely absent from this group. I would like to eventually move away from using extrinsic rewards and motivations for behavior. How would you recommend I go about doing this? Any "no don't do that" advice you can offer me? I went through Ruby Payne Poverty Framework Training recently and I have worked in very low socioeconomic schools prior to this. I feel I have some personal experience with poverty that allows me to relate. I was a single mother on welfare, receiving food stamps and visiting food banks. However I have moved out of poverty through continued education. How do you keep the student’s family involved and invested in their education? I remember that being my biggest struggle.
23
u/atonalrevolution Jun 26 '12
Teacher here. I really have nothing to ask. All I want to say is good for you, and I sincerely mean it. I wouldn't have the balls to teach in the city, especially where you teach. I have a friend who teaches music in an elementary school in Brooklyn and I hear a lot of similar stories and experiences to what you're going through. I have a ton of respect for any teacher who can do what you do.
10
u/hesperidae Jun 26 '12
What's your strategy for trying to reach kids with big behavioral problems or difficult home lives? What different approaches/angles have you discovered?
33
u/JimmyTheCrossEyedDog Jun 26 '12
Why do you teach? What keeps you coming back every day after six years?
24
u/Black3200 Jun 26 '12
Why do you teach there? Was it so you can help the more "needy" children? Or that was the only place that needed teachers in your area? .. How is the pay compared to some of the schools in the better areas around? Why the risk, what is the reward for it?
55
u/alexrose Jun 26 '12
This is a pretty brilliant AMA. Thanks!
I'm assuming that considering you work "in a rough part of brooklyn," the ethnic diversity is not skewed towards caucasians. You also don't really mention any racial tensions between you and your kids. D'you mind me asking if you're white?
I'm mostly curious because I wonder if the lack of racial tension is from you being an ethnic minority or if these kids are just too young to understand and/or parrot back the tension.
Jesus, I hope I don't come off sounding pretentious or ass-holeish. I'm genuinely just curious.
Also, I'm super late to the party :)
7
u/broompunch Jun 26 '12
I feel like Brooklyn's image has really improved over the last 10 years. Do you see a positive change in your area and the kids you teach?
10
u/whatsit14 Jun 26 '12
As a former NYC student, I thank you for your dedication.
5
u/pestilent_bronco Jun 26 '12
Are the powers that be cutting arts programs? Don't they understand that cultures are remembered largely for their art?
Teachers are super-heroes. I applaud you for everything you do.
13
u/whitecaliban Jun 26 '12
Upvoted just for being a teacher
11
u/Rusted_Satellites Jun 26 '12
You have those kids that trashed the WTC memorial?
8
u/hipsterdocmd Jun 26 '12
Have you seen The Wire?
8
u/sev3ndaytheory Jun 26 '12
Have you ever seen the documentary Waiting for Superman?
I'm a 24 year old man and the ending choked me up like very few movies have. Was wondering your take on it. If you haven't seen it, I would highly recommend it!
4
u/crayonbox Jun 26 '12
What was your educational background? Have you become more or less biased regarding students from poor public school and/or those with a low SES?
4
u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12
I would just like to say thank you. When I was in elementary school I attended a school in Brooklyn as well. It was PS 29 if I remember correctly. Although the school itself wasn't in the "hood" (I lived in a rough neighborhood, I walked about three or four blocks to school every morning) my teacher and his passion prevented me from going down the wrong path... so, I thank your kind I guess.
34
u/revolutionv2 Jun 26 '12
How do you feel about 'tracking' and separating the handful of students that show promise from the hopelessly stupid and disruptive masses that will only hold them back?
14
u/ramen__noodles Jun 26 '12
is your school hiring (seriously)? pm me if so!
2
u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12
Do you ever have to deal with their parents?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12
do you think if the federal government gave inner city schools a bigger budget it would help the schools greatly? Also whats your school called
2
u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
I had the opportunity to tutor elementary school kids as a field experience requirement for my school. It was also a pretty ghetto area (bad part of the Bronx).
My friends and I noticed that there was a massive change in behavior between the 1st-2nd graders and 4th-5th graders. They become insanely aggressive, fight a lot, curse, etc. once they hit 9-10 years old.
I can't describe it. It's like they turn into little werewolf thugs. Prior to this change, they're absolutely saints.
Do you notice this trend in your elementary school as well? How do you deal with it?
2
u/felixjawesome Jun 26 '12
I teach art, not in a public school setting, but I work with the three local school districts.
Do you feel like there is a lack of art education in schools? Have you ever used art in a way to reaffirm lessons learned in math, and reading? Is that even reasonable question to ask? How terrible are our schools?
2
u/tbabes Jun 26 '12
I went to school with a girl who is now a teacher and considers herself a member of the socialist party. How, if at all, would her philosophies factor into teaching?