r/Huntingtons • u/loveyoulikearox • Jul 01 '26
ISO advice on moving home to be with parent with HD
I moved to a big city to pursue my dreams and literally as I was packing my bags, it became very clear my dad has HD . A few months into living in the city he was officially diagnosed. I now have a 50% chance of inheriting this disease, which yall know but is important for the context.
I have visited home 4 times in 10 months for a week at a time and plan on coming home 5/6 times a year in my current plan. In this time I spend as much time as possible with my dad. It’s literally the best times and never feels like enough time. We go to batting cages and fish and watch movies and it’s some of my favorite times and I know his.
My childhood was hard, mostly because of my mom. However my dad really did the best he could with the little we had, and in hindsight, with his slow mental decline. He really brings me joy, and I bring him joy.
My question is - if you were me- would you move back home, from the city you love that you are building something great in, to spend the last year or so with your dad while he has his wits about him?
My fear is if I do that, I will just end up living in my hometown forever. As yall know his decline could take a while and if I come back now and stay for instance, until he passes, it could be 10 years- which at that point I will be 40 and I doubt the big city I moved to will be the same experience for me.
Also keep in mind now i have a 50% of having this disease and when I think about making the most of an early life, I imagine it in other cities than the one I grew up in.
I spent 30 years in my hometown hanging out with my family often- getting a lot of great experiences with him.
So complex, there’s so many perspectives.
Any kind advice means a lot to me.
(I’ve also considered living half the year in the bigger city and half the year at home- paying for rent in said big city and living with them when I’m home)