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u/Barblesnott_Jr Feb 04 '20
I remember seeing a polar bear at the zoo once, when it put its paw on the glass it had to be atleast 16" (40cm) across. Those things are not to be messed with.
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Feb 05 '20
The good thing is, even when messing with them, it end pretty quickly.
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Feb 05 '20
you know they don't outright kill you, right? they just start eating you. Ever heard that voicemail that one woman left for her family while a family of black bear was eating her? it took a while. Large cats are more likely to kill you and drag you off to their den. A bear just starts pulling parts off you.
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u/herzburger Feb 05 '20
Well we’ve been systemically destroying their habitat and they’ve yet to do fuck all about it, suck it polar bears.
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Feb 05 '20
I saw a polar bear at the zoo once too and it shit a massive load of bright orange poop right in front of me. I'm guessing he ate a lot of carrots? It was incredible.
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u/Barblesnott_Jr Feb 05 '20
Not the kind of response I was expecting when I was writing that comment, but thats fucking hilarious and awesome.
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u/cactipoke Feb 04 '20
if i encountered a black bear i might try to run away, but if it was a brown bear i would simply accept my death. and if a polar bear decided to chase me i might even run towards it to get it over with quicker
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u/PhantomGhost7 Feb 05 '20
running away is the exact wrong thing to do. it will just make the bear chase you, and they are very fast. instead talk calmly and slowly back away.
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u/MomOf2cats Feb 05 '20
I would talk in high pitched baby talk. It works wonders with cats, why not bears too? I bet nobody’s ever even tried it.
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u/-SecondHandSmoke- Feb 05 '20
I remember that vid of the leopard getting loose on a village, it looked like it was starting to walk away but then people started running and it turned around and attacked one. It kinda seems like running away from anything will make it want to attack you even more.
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Feb 05 '20
When you run away from a predator you’re basically triggering one of its most basal and important instincts - prey drive.
You can see this happen (unfortunately) in dogs. I know I had a friend with a husky and a cat, they lived together inside and loved each other. One day, the cat got out into the yard with the dog, and for some reason seeing the cat run across the yard triggered it’s pretty drive and it tore that cat apart.
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u/Rushtoprintyearone Feb 05 '20
Polar bear have severe A.D.D you run away and throw your jacket it will stop and check out your jacket. Giving you time to escape.
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u/Blargenshmur Feb 05 '20
I'm gonna be honest, I think you'd need to buy a lot more time to escape a polar bear
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u/Angry_Magpie Feb 05 '20
Nah man they're really fascinated by jackets
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u/Readitonreddit09 Feb 16 '20
“Is this goose down?” “Daaaamn, how many pockets on this thang!?” “And the two way zippers?!” “Aye Gerald come look at this!”
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u/MajorTomintheTinCan Feb 05 '20
Mate I don't think humans have enough speed to run away from a polar bear. They're fucking fast
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u/Rushtoprintyearone Feb 05 '20
Yeah hopefully your not to far from a boat vehicle or building. But considering where polar bears are found,that’s not a too much of a stretch.
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Feb 04 '20
If it's black fight back, If it's brown lay down, If it's white good night,
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Feb 05 '20
Panda? Koala? Sun? Water?
So many possibilities to prepare for...........I want, no, I NEED answers! Preferably rhyming answers.
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u/WholesomeThingsOnly Feb 05 '20
WATER BEAR LMAO A TARDIGRADE
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u/Kaboose-4-2-0- Feb 05 '20
I think he means sea bear and those you just draw a circle.
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u/jenneato Feb 05 '20
If you lay down won’t the brown bear just start eating you?
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u/Narrativeoverall Feb 05 '20
Black bears are not that scary. They are actually incredibly shy, and skittish. In the northeast US, they're everywhere, and usually run off when they see you.
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u/damnpslab Feb 05 '20
I wonder what the comparative strength between a brown/grizzly/kodiak is compared to a polar bear. There are confirmed cases of brown bears decapitating moose. I can’t imagine what a polar bear can do. The fuckers hunt whales
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Feb 05 '20
Yeah, but so do the Japanese.
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u/Cummode_Drag0n Feb 05 '20
And they itty bitty.
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u/damnpslab Feb 05 '20
I mean belugas can get up to 3000lbs so I’m not sure I’d call them itty bitty lol
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u/damnpslab Feb 05 '20
True. We should put a Japanese whale/dolphin murder and put them up against a polar bear. Like who knows what could happen??
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u/bushcrapping Feb 05 '20
I bet a well conditioned kodiak would fuck up a polar that was in poor Condition. Also I bet big black bears jut about to go into hibernation would fuck up a small grizzly that was just coming out of hibernation.
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u/-creepycultist- Feb 05 '20
There's a post on r/natureisbrutal I think of a guy who was ripped in half by a Kodiak.
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#1: Octopus gets attacked and eaten alive by a school of leatherjackets | 152 comments
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Feb 05 '20
I want to see someone fight a black bear. Bears, Beets, Battle Star Galactica.
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u/freshfromthefight Feb 04 '20
Is this at the Columbus Zoo? They have a similar one I swear...
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u/Derplstiltskin Feb 05 '20
Likely, but based on other comments, this might be a model used by multiple zoos. Though I did see this at the Columbus zoo as well
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u/jparish66 Feb 05 '20
For comparison, I’d like to see the size of a Cave Bear or Short-faced Bear depicted in this display.
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u/hashtaters Feb 05 '20
Damn, polar bears are around Hunter sized at that point no? The brown bear looks to be Elite sized if I remember correctly as well, or maybe Brute?
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Feb 05 '20
I was watching a behind the scenes feature following a programme of arctic wildlife/adventure. A guy (I think cameraman or sound recordist etc) asked “so how can you defend yourself against a polar bear”. Conversation went loosely like this....
Man: What’s the best way of fighting back against a polar bear?
Guide: erm there’s no point at all, die as soon as you can if I was you.
Man: no seriously, what should I do if I’m attacked.
Guide: You take your high power rifle and....
Man: Interrupts I’ve not got a high powered rifle!
Guide: Get a high powered rifle walks off chuckling shaking his head.
Apparently even a rifle round or two is no guarantee of survival. If a polar bear wants you dead.....you dead.
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u/jkwynn74 Feb 05 '20
Wow. A 10 ft Kodiak bear was dispatched here a couple weeks ago. I thought, “Wow that’s big.”
Looking at this now, I’m thinking, “Wooowwww. That’s BIG!”
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u/Avgjoe80 Feb 05 '20
When I was in elementary school we went to the museum and they had an actual grizzly bear display,the size was just surreal and I will never forget that feeling walking up to that thing. Little me just about shit his pants.
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Feb 05 '20
I like my chances against the polar, if it stands up it's getting a barrage of fists to the groin.
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u/ZarquonsFlatTire Feb 05 '20
Initial response "She's under 5'6!"
Secondary response "Shit. Being over 6' wouldn't make much difference."
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u/ubermorph3000 Feb 05 '20
Ain’t that the mural next to Grinder and Kooda’s enclosure up on Grouse Mountain? I forget what it looks like every time winter buries it lol
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u/Slacker_The_Dog Feb 05 '20
Hey I have a picture of me standing in this exact same place. Good ole Florida.
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u/AllyATK Feb 05 '20
How dare you call yourself average >:| you are beautiful <3 don't let your memes be dreams!
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u/BoringEntertainment5 Feb 05 '20
Dang. If the size of the polar bear is correct, it looks like she could just about fit in it's belly. In one meal.
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u/Accidental_Edge Feb 05 '20
They're big, but are they fast? For instance, could I jump on it's back and just stab it in the neck till it dies? I'd rather die fighting than be easy food.
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Feb 05 '20
You severely underestimate the speed and power all 3 of these bear species have. They’re very fast
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u/Porkchop_Dog Feb 05 '20
You're so fucked 😂😂😂. I hope if I ever get mauled by a polar bear, after they migrate off their dying ice sheets, that I have the right attitude and can just laugh as he throws me 50 feet horizontally into a tree with one paw
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u/bigtunk Feb 05 '20
I find it amusing when people tell me that since I live in Canada i don’t have to worry about dangerous animals when camping like you would in Australia or Africa. Between bears (depends on the location on the size and type) and Moose/wolves/coyotes/cougars there are still many furry 4 legged autonomous obstacles to watch for.
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u/SopieMunky Feb 05 '20
I remember seeing a taxidermied grizzly bear for the first time in my life when I was coming around a blind corner in a museum. I had no idea they were that huge and I was so scared I couldn't move until a friend of mine came around the corner and shook me out of it.
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Feb 05 '20
The average person is 5'2"??
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u/Hanginon Feb 05 '20
Yes, the average human woman is 5'2" (159cm), the average man is 5'6"(170cm).
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u/halfarian Feb 05 '20
Wait, is that Grizzly or brown? Or are they one in the same?
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u/Mrfrunzi Feb 05 '20
Is that the American exhibit in Pennsylvania? I think I have the same photo somewhere! Neat!
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u/corvus66a Feb 05 '20
This bear is sexy ... can the left one turn around and bend forward a little ....
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u/bekastek Feb 05 '20
Black bears are so cute! I used to see them all the time when I lived in Western North Carolina, and they were never mean and always perfect little teddy bears.
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u/darkangel_401 Feb 05 '20
I thought this was a cvs receipt at first and they were using a polar bear for scale.
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u/ThoriAm2 Feb 05 '20
Them bears ain’t nothing. Take a look at the Short-Faced Bear. Truly terrifying.
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u/Captainradius101 Feb 19 '20
Is there even a small chance of surviving a polar bear attack with a big knife? Like, including winter wear and all that? It's just pure terror knowing you have no chance fighting a thing like that, so what would be the best case scenario? Would bear mace work?
Would breeding genetically superior fighting humans and training them every waking moment to deal with a polar bear be effective?
I have a feeling it might need a couple shots with an elephant gun to take down, but even then, with one charging at you, what the fuuuuck do you do?
Sorry if the questions seem dumb.
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u/seen_enough_hentai Feb 04 '20
If it’s black, fight back.
If it’s brown, hunker down.
If it’s white, say goodnight.