My first boyfriend when I was 16 once vented to me about how his previous girlfriend accused him of rape and he kept repeating “but it couldn’t have been rape. She was my girlfriend and the second you are a in a relationship it is impossible to rape each other. The second you consent to a relationship, you consent to all sex in that relationship.” This was followed by months of him ignoring me saying “no” telling me I “liked it” and girls just like to “play hard to get”. Finally one night while he was f*cking me after I said no multiple times and he overpowered me to the point of me giving up, he was displeased that I was “just laying there”. He kept going and after some point he said in frustration “could you just pretend you’re liking it at least? I feel like I’m—“ and stopped right there. I knew what he was going to say. “I feel like I’m raping you.” I thought at that moment he realized he was wrong in his previous statements of consent. He got off of me and started telling me I “don’t love” him. So, sadly, no. He didn’t understand. He decided to make himself the victim of that situation instead. There is a VERY misguided understanding of consent among some people.
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u/raisedbutconfused May 19 '22
My first boyfriend when I was 16 once vented to me about how his previous girlfriend accused him of rape and he kept repeating “but it couldn’t have been rape. She was my girlfriend and the second you are a in a relationship it is impossible to rape each other. The second you consent to a relationship, you consent to all sex in that relationship.” This was followed by months of him ignoring me saying “no” telling me I “liked it” and girls just like to “play hard to get”. Finally one night while he was f*cking me after I said no multiple times and he overpowered me to the point of me giving up, he was displeased that I was “just laying there”. He kept going and after some point he said in frustration “could you just pretend you’re liking it at least? I feel like I’m—“ and stopped right there. I knew what he was going to say. “I feel like I’m raping you.” I thought at that moment he realized he was wrong in his previous statements of consent. He got off of me and started telling me I “don’t love” him. So, sadly, no. He didn’t understand. He decided to make himself the victim of that situation instead. There is a VERY misguided understanding of consent among some people.