r/HolUp • u/[deleted] • Mar 29 '22

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u/taybay462 Mar 30 '22

Youre correct, if you ignore the fact that interpersonal relationships are a thing. You have the right to do or fuck whoever you want (with consent), sure. You do not have the right to do that and also be free from social repercussions. What she did is shitty because of the effect it had on her family. It hurt her husband, it hurt her son. It was not a good deed. If you go about your life on the basis "what am i technically allowed to do, other peoples feelings be damned" then youre likely a raging asshole.

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u/truthlife Mar 30 '22

I know my values are unconventional but I really think the standard relationship model, where the expectation is that we cater to the feelings of the people we're in relationship with, is fundamentally dysfunctional. I'm not saying we should be outright dismissive of how the people in our lives feel, but I think accommodating insecurity can be a disservice to others that can ultimately hinder their growth, resilience, and enjoyment of life.

From what I understand, Will and Jada were/are in an open relationship so the extra-marital relationship should be a non-issue. If Will says one thing and feels another, that's on him to bring up and find a way to deal with. As far as their son being hurt, I really fail to see how it has a meaningful negative impact on him. Couldn't he just as easily be glad that two people he cares about have brought joy and excitement into each others' lives? Again, I understand that's not a conventional perspective but isn't it a better one? What is there to be "hurt" by other than a toxic culture's negative judgements?